Book Review: Therapy

I feel like I'm forever behind in my Goodreads challenge but at the same time my stacks of books to read are shrinking so who knows what's going on. The plan is to kill it this summer and read a LOT. It also doesn't help I now have two monthly book box subscriptions so I legitimately have to keep on top of those or they get out of hand. Ha!

Therapy - Kathryn Perez

Sometimes you have to get lost in order to be found... 

I’m needy. 

I’m broken. 

Cutting breaks through my numbness, but only opens more wounds. 

Depression, self-harm, bullying....that's my reality. 

Sex and guys....that's my escape. 

The space between the truth and lies is blurred leaving me torn, lost and confused. And while the monsters that live in my head try to beat me-- the two men that I love try to save me. 

This is my story of friendship, heartache, and the grueling journey that is mental-illness.

Warning: Due to possible triggering subject matter and some sexual situations this book is not recommended for anyone under the age of 17 years old.

I fully know that by writing this review I am going against basically every single person who read it. I also feel a little concerned that people are holding this up as either a really great love story or a really great example of overcoming something and both of those are so disturbing to me I don't know where to even start.

First up, let me say that I didn't purchase this book on my own, it came as one of the books in The Bookworm Box over a year ago and it's been hanging out on my shelf since. Secondly, in no way am I going to downplay mental health and struggles because I am that person. I have severe clinical depression, severe anxiety, PTSD, depersonalization/derealization, suicidal ideation, I have countless other mental health obstacles and I go to therapy every other week, I'm on a boatload of medications to keep me from killing myself, and I see a psychiatrist every 4-6 weeks. I am not the person to come at saying I don't get what its like so please don't @ me. Third, I was incredibly not popular in school. I wasn't the one being pushed and hit in the hallway, I was just a step above that but I didn't have a group to hang out with. I was the girl sitting at the far end of the table trying to participate in conversation in the hopes I'd be invited to sit there again or that these people would talk to me in class. The only people who spoke to me were the boys who wanted to copy my homework and the girls in a similar boat of never having a date or being asked anywhere. I wasn't even cool enough to have a rumor spread about me and almost nobody would be able to match my name to my face in the yearbook.

With all of that said, this book was maybe... I won't say it's the worst I've ever read because I can think of a couple more that were actually worse, but this is maybe in that group.

We have Jessica, who so clearly has a host of mental health issues from page one and anyone with zero experience in those could identify, is a hot mess. She's depressed, she has sex with anyone and everyone all of the time, she cuts, she has an inability to speak and be honest, she lives in a crappy home, and of course- all of the popular kids are horribly cruel to her and school staff don't see it and don't care. Then we have Jace, popular, sports star, rich, has a plan in life. He kind of likes Jessica but not in that way supposedly and Jessica is in love with him after he helps her but she doesn't know what love is because she's got zero self worth, self esteem, and a poor self image.

They end up having a hot night of sex and she ends up pregnant (after blatantly lying to him because she's selfish on top of everything) and OOPS! She then lies again when he gets angry at the prospect she's pregnant (because by now he's at college and this proves she flat out lied to him so frankly, he has a right to be angry) and says she isn't but gets an abortion and that kind of becomes the catalyst for her going off the deep end and Jace struggling in his own right. She basically goes into hiding but Jace finds her after a horribly gross HIPPA violation (which this moment was one of the ones that made me want to throw the book because this would never happen and this entire plot point is over the top ridiculous), and confronts her with all of the things she confessed in her first, court ordered, therapy with (wait for it)... his fiance.

I know. You're rolling your eyes and you have every right to because it gets more ridiculous from here.

Both still have feelings, she's messed up, he's kind of an asshole and I really thought maybe he was a good guy, there's more therapy/group sessions, she meets Kingsley, and I just can't.

I really can't, you guys. This book was so completely awful that I finished it and immediately went to the reviews online to see what I missed and they are GLOWING. They make this out to be some great love story that transcends a lot of awful and no. This is a really fucked up love story and if this was my friend I would tell her to get some serious in patient help and stay the hell away from all of these people. It's clear that Jace sees her as a second chance after he couldn't save his sister and is that the kind of romance you want? You want to be there because your boyfriend is trying to make up for his sister's death? Really? He's not a hero, he's a guy who doesn't know what he wants.

Please baby Jesus, do NOT go to this book if you are looking for a book about overcoming bullying and mental health- this book is not it. This was maybe the worst example for any of those issues and honestly I worry about girls who read this and feel like they connect with Jessica because she isn't not a character to connect with and if you do, PLEASE SEEK HELP. If you are looking for an amazing love story? This is not it. It goes over many years, has huge plot twists, and the whole thing is just a waste. I didn't like this one to the point where I wouldn't even consider something else from this author, that's where I am, you guys. I just couldn't. And maybe it's me, maybe I'm too picky, maybe it's too close to home, maybe there's a lot of reasons I'm giving this such a poor review when it's rated so highly everywhere else but man... this book was bad.

   

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