Breaking Dawn- midnight movie, bare feet, cup frenzy, and condom head.

Maybe you didn't know this about me, but I'm a Twi-hard. I am and I am not ashamed of it. I have been counting down to Breaking Dawn since Eclipse came out and it definitely did not disappoint. Was Kristen Stewart amazing? No, but she never is and you just expect that her happy, sad, and constipated face all look the same. Was Robert dreamy? Of course. Is this the movie where Jacob reveals himself to be a pedophile that can lick his own ass (in theory)? Why yes. Yes, it is.

First off, we got to the theatre at 4:30 like crazy people and proceeded to make friends with the first two girls in line. The strategy here is that they open the first (and largest) theatre at 10 for seating, and if you are in the front you can go sit down in actual chairs, get your pick of seats, and get ramped up to sit for another two hours... just in a different location. But while waiting the just under six hours to do that, we admired the artwork.

 We got into a cup frenzy when we realized for the low price of $6.95, you can get a large soda in a collectible Twilight cup. So I went up and got one. And got a fucking Jacob cup. I hate Jacob. I can't be attracted to someone who, hypothetically, could lick his own ass. So then I decided to make Kate go up and get me an Edward cup. Unfortunately, the theatre people are pretty hard core and would not let you pick... and you guessed it, she comes back with a fucking Bella cup. I don't think KStew has any kind of discernible talent, so I don't want that. I decided at almost 10 that I would suck it up and try for a third time (just tally up what I've spent so far). I got another Jacob cup while my friend Tammy behind me? Got Edward. Not cool, man. Not cool.

But I decided it was either not meant to be or I could hope someone throws theirs away and I would dumpster dive. Don't question my love for Edward or even for Robert Pattinson, because RPatz was my date.

 I even had my "I love Vampires" shirt on. And blood red nails. I thought I grabbed my red lipstick but I apparently didn't.

The other bonus to sitting in a crowded room for two hours is that you notice the people around you. OH! Before I talk about that- let's talk about personal hygiene. The people behind us in the lobby (group of 6 or so) smelled horrible. So horrible that when it was close to 10 and we really had to squeeze in, I could barely breathe. It wasn't just me, Tammy and Lisa also had a hard time breathing while Kate and Angie were OK, but they were dealing with a woman who came drunk. I know. Class it up, right? But here's the thing- daily showering is kind of awesome. Not just for your own cleanliness, but because nobody wants to smell your stank ass. Seriously. Combine that with them chain smoking the entire time? The fact my lungs are still inflated is kind of a miracle.

Anyways.

So once we got in, we noticed some fun people around us. There was of course, your expected teenage couple on a date too nervous to make up but being over the top touchy feely it makes you want to barf. I can say 100% that I was not like the couple in front of us. I think I told Ang that this is how that show Teen Mom came about. That right there.

Then there was the woman with an unfortunately small hat for her head... and it made her head look like a ribbed for her pleasure condom.

 Or the person who thinks it's OK to stick her BARE FEET on some one's head rest. No, it's not ok. First off, it's November and it was damn cold that day- you have no business wearing no socks you freak. Second off, nobody wants your feet grazing their hair. What if you have a fungus? Now the person in front of them has foot fungus in their hair.

Anyways. I had other pictures but they were blurry and you can't really tell what they are meant to be. But the movie was good. It was pretty much what I expected it to be. The only thing I kind of didn't like was the birthing scene- first off, kind of gross and gory for PG 13? I covered my eyes and almost threw up once. I also love it how Edward is all holding the baby as Bella is dying and I'm all, "DUDE! Put the baby down!" and that is so typical guy. A woman pops a baby out and the dad is all, "Wow-- this is awesome" as the mom is all writhing in pain or dealing with a placenta, or having to get a shot in her va-jay-jay for stitches and just you know- completely oblivious. So rude. Anyways. I was also really wanting more sex scene. It better be more graphic in the deleted scenes on the DVD otherwise I'll be stabby. Fucking teenagers ruin everything.

But overall? It was a good time with some great friends. I'm already excited for the final installation of the series... and you know I'll be there at midnight. Or more realistically, at dinner time.

And for those of you who want to know.. did I ever get an Edward cup? Yes. Yes, I did. Because you know my stealthy ninja ways totally grabbed the cup from the schmoopy couple in front of me when it became clear they had more pressing issues to deal with than the cup. Then I also grabbed another one that someone foolishly left behind. So now I have two. And a Jacob cup. I gave my other Jacob cup to Angie because she loves him and I won't fault her for that because she's young and will see the light some day.

New Moon, I am in love

You all know I had to see New Moon on opening night. Thankfully, I have a kick ass sister in law who got us tickets as soon as they went on sale. Although I was apprehensive of a midnight showing what with my playing chicken with 30 an all, my love for Robert Pattinson took over my common sense. And it was all I thought it could be and more. :)

First off, I have to tell you that seeing the movie at the Duluth 10 theatre in Canal Park was awesome. They had the entire place decked out in Twilight inspired decor. This is only 2 pics I have , but the whole place was decorated. On the walls to the ticket counter they had huge posters with memorable lines from the book which was awesome.

And a cardboard cut out of my love Robert that I seriously debated on stealing. Yummy. And since this is probably the closest I'll ever get to him, I had to get Kate to do the picture. Obviously.

This is after the movie, around 2:40 in the morning, and I am VERY tired. And bloated. YAY period. But at least I got a "Team Edward" shirt. Which apparently makes my boobs look bigger. Which sucks. They need no assistance. They should carry their own I.D.'s for god sakes. But that may also be because in this picture I'm wearing 3 shirts and a sweater. Because you know- I can't think ahead and realize hey- I'm buying a shirt, so maybe we can lose a layer or two.

But before the movie we ate yummy, super greasy food at Old Chicago. Have I ever expressed my love for their Italian Nachos? Fantabulous. Yum. Then we headed over to wait in the line. Amazingly- there was hardly a line. Of course you have your die-hard Twilight freaks with their home-made shirts (which we are totally doing for Eclipse, Kate!!).

And obviously, you have the people with little to no hygeine skills who insist on testing our lung capacity by standing dangerously close to us in a poorly vented area. These two women in particular, in their early 50's or so, who came just as we were getting seated but a husband held their spot in line so they got to cut in line and unfortunately got stuck next to us. And let me tell you- my lungs ain't what they once were which is disconcerting because I don't smoke. I avoid second hand smoke and yet my lungs suck. I thought I was going to vomit. The only way to explain the stench is that it was a combination of smoke, cat, possibly really stale liquor and lack of showering. And there were two of them like this and everytime moviegoers from other movies walked past- a cloud wafted towards us. It was seriously, the longest 30 minutes of my life standing next to them. They were continually referred to as "cat lady 1 and 2" and it was bad. Like I could smell them through the movie but thank god weren't sitting next to them. They ended up being 4 or 5 rows back. But still. Ew.

So before the movie started we got to see the first promo poster for Eclipse. *Exciting* and I almost pissed myself when I realized that it comes out in June. June 2010, lambs!!! The same month True Blood, Season 3 starts. It's going to be a hot month for me. I may turn into a hot mess. Which is fine- I'm totally ok with that. :)

When the movie started, super excited. Basically the movie rocks socks, the ending was GREAT, and now I'm so fucking excited for Eclipse I may not make it. Even more so because Eclipse was my favorite in the series. And Kate- WE ARE MAKING SHIRTS. Or I will make one for you. ;) HA!

But the most annoying thing? College and high school girls screaming everytime Taylor or Robert came on screen. Now don't get me wrong. Seeing Robert makes me all hot and bothered and makes me think crazy thoughts of leaving Matt and the kids to throw myself at the mercy of Robert and beat the living shit out of crazy Kristen Stewart because I fight dirty and would totally win that. But damn. You don't see me losing my shit up in there. Like have some class. Freak out in your car or something afterwards.

And in the bathroom after? There were a couple of chicks crying. Absolute sobbing because they are so in love with the movie and can't wait for Eclipse. Again, control your crazy yall.

So yes. It was awesome. You must see it. And can I just say? Even though I don't like the Jacob character, Taylor Lautner is yummy. And I know he's 17 but damn. He's got to be turning 18 soon. It's fine. And Robert in the almost revealing himself scene? Well, we won't talk about it. Or the beginnign at the school on Bella's birthday? The facial expression? Matt has no chance on a sunny day in hell against Robert. And he totally knows that. :)