Finding It

Oooh lambies! I cannot scream "I love this author" loud enough. I'm a first time reader of Cora and I am hooked. A few more books in and I might be the creepy fan reader stalker.

Finding It - Cora Carmack

Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find where you truly belong . . .

Most girls would kill to spend months traveling around Europe after college graduation with no responsibility, no parents, and no-limit credit cards. Kelsey Summers is no exception. She’s having the time of her life . . . or that’s what she keeps telling herself.

It’s a lonely business trying to find out who you are, especially when you’re afraid you won’t like what you discover. No amount of drinking or dancing can chase away Kelsey’s loneliness, but maybe Jackson Hunt can. After a few chance meetings, he convinces her to take a journey of adventure instead of alcohol. With each new city and experience, Kelsey’s mind becomes a little clearer and her heart a little less hers. Jackson helps her unravel her own dreams and desires. But the more she learns about herself, the more Kelsey realizes how little she knows about Jackson.

This book.... oh. *insert giggles here* . 

OK, so I loved this book. Mostly because this story right here is one of the reasons I wish I had slutted it up in college and maybe had gone to a four year and traveled abroad. Wrong? Maybe. But I don't care because if I had ever encountered anyone like Jackson Hunt or had a story like this to tell? WORTH IT. 

First of all, Cora Carmack is kind of great. She weaves a story that is written exactly as if you were sitting down and hearing about your friend's trip. It's funny, it's engaging, it's something you can relate to. We have Kelsey, who with her own bag of demons and some low self esteem, sets out to "find herself" but while doing that she's slutting it up and getting drunk. Her self discovery is actually just a series of bad choices she's using to mask the fact she has suffered actual trauma as a child and her parents are ridiculously terrible. Then you have Jackson who is a mixed bag of mystery and they come together. Full disclosure- I figured out the jig with Jackson immediately. Why? Because I read a lot of romance novels and watched my fair share of Lifetime movies. 

No shame in that. 

But both characters are flawed and battered for greatly different reasons, but together they are good. The best part is seeing how both of them, in their own way, discover that what they were doing before wasn't working so they work together to do something better. 

Or until Kelsey discovers what Jackson's jig is all about and loses her shit and cue dramatic plot twist!

But it's things like this that propel each individual character to take what they've learned with the other.... and carve out a new way on their own. Because everybody knows that you cannot have a successful relationship unless each person in it is secure, valued, and successful on their own. You can't roll a cart with a broken wheel, eventually you'll find a new cart. (Did you see that? I threw a little Dr. Phil up in there.) 

I can't tell you anymore, it would ruin it for you. But I will tell you this- LOVED this book. Love Cora, love it all. The book isn't very long, you'll fly through it, you'll get some heated scenes in it, you'll get a good love story and you'll end up wishing your husband write you letters and draw you sketches. Swearsies. 

And if you have time, check out Cora's website, her Facebook and Twitter and make a list of everything else of hers to read this winter. 

Almost True Confessions

I'm just saying, with a title like that, how could you not pick this book up?

Almost True Confessions - Jane O'Connor

This comic mystery set in the elite zip codes of Manhattan will leave you breathless . . . literally

What could be more fun for a freelance copy editor than work- ing on a juicy tell-all about one of Manhattan’s most enigmatic society doyennes? But when Miranda “Rannie” Bookman arrives at Ret Sullivan’s tony Upper East Side apartment, she finds more than the final draft of the reclusive author’s manuscript waiting for her—there’s also the half-naked body of Ret herself, tied to her bed and strangled with an Hermès scarf.

Was this merely a case, as the police believe, of rough sex that got a little too rough? Or was Ret murdered because someone wanted to make absolutely sure she didn’t meet her deadline? Once again, Rannie must prove that her mind is just as sharp as her Col-Erase blue pencils—or risk getting rubbed out too.

If ever there was a character that I wish I could be, it would be Rannie Bookman. Mostly because I love the fact she is a copy editor, even if it is freelance. Here's a full confession: when I was in high school I adored English and I really lived for grammar. I wanted to go to college to eventually work in a publishing house. I would have been a receptionist, I didn't even care. I do live Simon & Schuster (featured in this book), but Harper Collins would have been my dream, I think. I am that dork that would like to visit this building if ever I were in town on vacation. Monuments? Who cares. Show me to the publishing house! Or the library. I love libraries too. Oh yes, and book stores. 

*swoon*

Anyways. 

Let's talk about the book. First off, loved it. I loved how Rannie is just a normal gal, trying to get by freelancing while raising her children (only one of whom is still at home), trying to figure out her love life and whether Tim is it or not, and then oh yes, she finds dead bodies. She is unwittingly thrust into a really convoluted murder mystery where things feel connected but you can't quite figure out how or why. So Rannie does some digging and can't help but try to figure it all out. Because after all, if it is all connected- she's the next peg to knock off, so she's trying to figure it out because she dies a terrible death like Ret or the others. Yes, more people die but I cannot tell you who because that will ruin it. I swearsies. 

The book is what I would call suspenseful chick lit. It's everything you want out of a chick lit, but you have the murder mystery. You also have a little romance drama, a little family drama, all rolled into one making it a book you will have a hard time putting down and you will ultimately enjoy. And I will say, did not see the ending. Didn't see it. I kind of thought two people were involved but when one died I had NO idea what was going on. Loved it. I really enjoyed this author too. For a story that could easily have been dark, enough humor was written throughout so it feels like a fun, light read. 

Totally worth picking up for yourself OR for your friends as a Christmas gift. Oh you know I went there.  

The Hourglass

Oh hey... book review! I'm rally banging these out as of late, aren't I?

The Hourglass - Sharon Struth

"Can forgiveness survive lies and unspoken truths?"

Until Brenda McAllister's husband committed suicide, she appeared to have the ideal life: a thriving psychology practice, success as a self-help author, and a model family. But her guilt over her affair with Jack's best friend prevents her from moving on. Did Jack learn of her infidelity? Was she the cause of his death?

The release of Brenda's second book forces her into an unexpected assignment with arrogant celebrity author CJ Morrison, whose irritating and edgy exterior hides the torment of his own mistakes. But as she grows closer to CJ, Brenda learns she wasn't the only one with secrets--Jack had secrets of his own, unsavory ones that may have led to his death. While CJ helps Brenda uncover the truth about her husband, she finds the path to forgiveness isn't always on the map.

So have you ever seen the show "Who the Bleep Did I Marry?" because it's a pretty fantastic show, you should watch it. But this book basically reminded me of this because of poor Brenda. Brenda the relationship expert, psychologist, who is also a widow after her own husband commits suicide for reasons unknown to her. She has residual guilt from her own infidelity and she wonders if that is what set him over the edge. But as you read the book you know quickly that it was for far more damaging reasons than that. 

Enter CJ, who hires Brenda to assist with the character development on his upcoming book. After a terse first meeting and some awkward slash rude follow up encounters, Brenda isn't sure if she is sure she made the right decision agreeing to work with him. But she continues on because she is nothing if not professional, and she is looking for a challenge. 

I've seen the term "boomer lit" pop up on other blogs and some online magazines I read and I don't think I totally understand what that is as a genre, but after reading this, I would put this there. It's kind of pegged as a romance, and while there is some of that in there, it's not what you would expect from a romance novel. Not that I'm saying you need to break out nipple clamps and ropes, but that there should be something. And the something in this book is some conversation, sweet gestures and a little more, but you don't get a glimpse into the bedroom, if you will. And at first I was turned off by this because that is a foreign thing to me, I know what I want from a romance book and I'm not saying no to nipple clamps all of the time, let's just say. But when I think of the ages of the characters, basically my parent's age, mid 50's, and that's not really their prerogative. Not to say a mid-50's guy or gal can't get freaky, I'm just saying that typically, it's not really their thing. So it's like a really cute, awkward couple dipping their toes into dating towards a meaningful relationship. 

AND THEN. 

While all of this sexual tension is happening with CJ, Brenda finds out her husband is being investigated for fraud. Her job, whether out of wifely duties, residual guilt, and/or fear of judgement from others, decides she's going to do everything she can to basically defend his name and legacy if not for him, but for their two children who in their own ways, still grieve for him though it's been a year. 

The book is well written. The plot doesn't feel hokey and you can tell Sharon really put forth a good effort. I enjoyed the book and found it difficult to put down. In hindsight, it's not one that I would maybe have picked up right away, but I am glad I did because it didn't disappoint! Here's a trailer for the book if that helps you at all: 


Give it a shot. It's actually a rather quick read and I got through it in a weekend. AND it has a pretty cover. You know how I feel about covers. 

I wish I could extreme coupon some windows. Or a roof.

Shit is getting real, folks. Matt and I are officially out of reserve money thanks to him buying a truck without telling me.

Yes, I'm still a wee bit pissy about it.

Tomorrow he gets paid and things are going to get bare bones. And when I say bare bones, I really mean it this time. This weekend ended up being unexpectedly not booked with anything, so we really sat down and decided what we need to get done in this house. Fortunately, most of the work part of it will have to wait until next summer, but there are a few things we're going to do over the course of the winter since it doesn't requires anything outdoors to do.

Indoor Repair/Make Less Shitty List:

• Upstairs toilet. I know, bitches. I know. We'll have a less leaky toilet soon. 
• Downstairs toilet. I'm getting sick of cleaning this one seven times more than normal. 
• Downstairs bathroom sink counter top. Because OH HEY, it's all warped and weird because some douchenozzle got it wet and just did nothing about it. AND, as it turns out, it's not really connected to the cabinet. Because of course not. 
• Paint downstairs bathroom. The fish theme? Has to go. 
• Make family room area in the basement. This will be a pain because Matt has grand ideas, as do I, and this will mean him really doing a super good job because this is our forever home and he can't half ass it. 

Outdoor List for Summer:

• 19 windows replaced in front porch. Rough estimate? $3000. *blow* In order to combat that, we're thinking of ways to reduce the weird height of the window but also so it doesn't look weird on the outside.
• New roof. Matt will do it, so that saves us thousands in a contractor. BUT, we're still looking at probably $6000 by the time it's all said and done. 

There is no way, currently, that we can save $10,000 by next summer. No way. The next option is for me to get a second job, which will mean every night and probably every weekend will be me somewhere working part time just for home improvement projects. Which isn't a big deal, I really don't care where I work. A paycheck is a paycheck. But the thought of having less time to do what I need to is a wee bit daunting. I already feel like I'm barely staying above water as it. 

Best case scenario is we can get another year (or maybe even two) out of our current roof. It isn't awful, but it's clear that it's in need of some help. We bought the house knowing we'd need to do it and projects don't scare us off, it's just daunting when you realize that oh hey- I'm a grown up and I actually have to pay for that roof. And it's not even a fun purchase where you can show it off. Nope- nobody cares if I have shingles or whatever. 

I'm most excited about toilets. Which seems weird, but seriously lambs- the toilet situation is serious up in here. We need to get this resolved. I feel like if I get the two toilets totally replaced, I will feel less angry when I go into the bathroom. And nobody wants to be angry in a bathroom. 

So that's where I'm at. 

OH yes! Check back tomorrow because A) I have another book review and B) I have a super awesome, amazingly kickass giveaway for you. Like over the MOON excited about this one. 

Unexpected

Book review! I hope I can get a regular post out to you tonight, but my night looks a little full, but I'll do my best!

Unexpected - Faith Sullivan

One day forever changes the destiny of college overachiever, Michelle Rhodes.

Shattered, confused and alone, no one understands the trauma consuming her until she meets Connor Donnelly.

A native New Yorker, he believes he can aid in getting her life back on track. But what if he's even more broken inside?

Offering her a chance at a fresh start, Connor convinces Michelle to move in with him. Hiring her to waitress at his bar, their mutual attraction only complicates matters.

As more details surrounding Connor's past emerge, Michelle uncovers the full magnitude of the loss he's trying to hide. Refusing to let her feelings for him hinder his recovery, she makes a decision that winds up hurting them both.

By sacrificing her heart, Michelle thinks she is helping Connor come to terms with his grief. Little does she know, Connor is gambling everything for the sake of having a future with her.

What happens is truly unexpected.

I've read other books by Faith and I really like her. I just do. I've emailed her a few times and she's the kind of gal you just want to have coffee with and talk about the chunky girl wearing white leggings as pants in the coffee shop. So anytime I get to review a book of hers I get excited because I have high expectations. 

And I haven't been disappointed. 

What I love about her books is that they aren't super long, they aren't drawn out, and you don't have all of this extra fluff and all you have is the story. And she always has normal, flawed, human characters. These are people you have in your life right now. They face actual problems and the things they deal with are things that are legitimate issues. 

Take Connor and Michelle. Connor is a business owner not far from the World Trade Center who lost his best friend on 9/11. He struggles to cope with the loss of someone he considered a brother. Michelle, alone in the city for the first time on her own, freaks out and can no longer handle any of it. She goes back home and in a weird coincidence of fate, Connor and Michelle connect in her hometown. He convinces her to give New York City a try again and offers to give her a job at his bar and let her live upstairs with him until she can get on her feet. Enter mutual attraction, and you've got a romance just bursting to happen but neither are emotionally in any kind of shape to go there. 

I really liked this because Michelle is the type of person I hate. I should say strongly dislike. But she's the girl who never really strikes out on her own, isn't ever independent, is basically scared of what's out there. She's the girl who marries her high school sweetheart right out the gate, she's the girl who refuses the thought of going away for college, she's the girl who can't live on her own. These girls are annoying. They make me shake my fist in the name of feminism and want to shake them silly and say, DO THESE THINGS. Do all of these things because you won't understand what you are made of until you do. 

And Connor. Swoon. We all want to be the girl who fixed the boy, don't we? Admit it. We read these books with flawed boys and think we could be the ones who guide them to the light and they fall head over heels for us. I won't judge, I'm right there with you. 

But Michelle and Connor are perfect for each other. They really are. They both suffered a loss that day, and they kind of need each other to get through it and get to the next stage of life. Except they can't do it under the guise of "If I fix them, I'm fixing me." It never works that way, and that's Connor's lesson here. 

I flew through this book in a couple of hours and you will too. It's good, it's light, and it's not smutty. I know some of you don't like the smutty (I'm a fan, don't judge), but this one is good. You'll like it. You can go HERE to the page on her blog with all of the links to purchase this one, as well as all of her books. Good stuff, I tell you. 

Mother, Mother and GIVEAWAY

I just knew that when I signed up for this book that it was going to be good, but I had no idea it would that good. It's good in the "this will mess you up" kind of way because you can't even imagine a mother being this way. I couldn't put this one down because it's that screwed up. Even more amazing? It's a freaking DEBUT. A debut, people. That means if Koren is this good now? Wait until a few books in. GIDDY. That's how I feel.

Mother, Mother - Koren Zailckas

In MOTHER, MOTHER we meet the Hursts: William, a twelve-year-old autistic boy, who wants nothing more than to please his parents but can’t seem to figure out how; Violet, a rebellious teenager whose experiments with hallucinogenic drugs have just landed her in a mental ward; Douglas, their father who spends too much time at the office and the remaining hours with a bottle of scotch; and Josephine, whose subtle manipulations are slowly but steadily driving her family to the brink of disaster. And key to uncovering Josephine’s motives is Rose, the daughter who got away, but whose presence is still keenly felt, and whose fate is mysteriously unknown.

While authors get their inspiration from many places, Koren didn’t need to look further than her own childhood when she decided to tackle the topic of a dysfunctional family. Growing up, several members of her family showed traits and characteristics of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, including her own mother. She decided to write MOTHER, MOTHER in part to challenge the assumption that all mothers are compassionate and kind. Deeply personal, Koren’s first foray into fiction showcases her brilliant, firecracker prose, a page-turning plot, and an unmistakable voice.

Full of wise and witty observations, and a mounting sense of dread, MOTHER, MOTHER is an astonishing debut. 

OK, so this book bounces between the Hurst children that are essentially left, Violet and William and their relationship to their mother and father, and then everyone wondering about what really happened to Rose. Basically, their mother Josephine is very Joan Crawford. She's the perfect, well put together mom on the outside, but inside family walls she's a very over bearing, passive aggressive, narcissistic woman who makes everyone's life a living hell. Rose has seemingly run away which leaves Josephine fit to be tied. Douglas (the dad) is an alcoholic who instead of recognizing the damage Josephine does to the kids, he checks out and drinks himself into a stupor because he can't handle it. Violet is the classic middle child who can't quite live up to Rose's greatness, and she doesn't have the autism/epilepsy problems her brother Will has. Then you have Will, socially awkward, maybe ill, very much a kiss ass to his mother. He's that little boy that grows up to have mommy issues and wears his mother's underwear when she dies. 

I mean, that's not mentioned in the book, but I've watched enough Lifetime movies to know that's what happens. 

So after a tumultuous night that Violet doesn't totally remember, she ends up in a psych ward after being told she assaulted her brother with a knife and insisting she say her sister Rose in the hallway. Violet is sure of two things: she didn't hurt her brother and she definitely saw Rose. 

What is amazing about this story is just how screwed up Josephine is. She tells each member of the family conflicting things but can maintain a lie like nobody else. The horribly cruel things you find out that she did to Rose? Ugh. So each person is trying to piece together an impossible puzzle because nobody has the same pieces. Make sense? And poor Violet, she just wants to figure it out and when she suddenly starts receiving letters from Rose, she's skeptical and hesitant, but she also sees a way out. 

Or is it? 

By the end of this book I was so emotionally invested, and rightfully scared, for all of these kids. I stayed up until 12:30 last night finishing this book because it's THAT GOOD. Seriously. If you need a book for fall, buy this one. If you need a book club recommendation, use this one. It's so stinking good. This is the kind of book you just consume and it consumes you because you just feel so bad for Violet, and kind of scared for Will because he's clueless and just a lost little boy, and you're mad at Douglas for not having an adequate pair of balls, and you wish there were special places for people like Josephine. And what kills you, just totally kills you, is that you probably know a mom like this. So perfect to everyone else but an absolute horror to her family. You look around to the families who have children with issues like these and it makes you wonder- is there mother like this? Probably. It's so sad. But there's a line in the book that basically says that just because you birth a child, doesn't make you a mother. And that's so true. I really don't believe in anything like mothering instinct, because if it was true we'd all have it. I've met enough women who shouldn't be mothers at all yet they have a gaggle of kids and I think wow- those poor kids.

So yes. Read this book. You will love it and it will horrify you, but you'll still love it. The best part is that I have a copy I can give away! To you! (US/Canada only)

Leave a comment on this post with your email address and I'll draw a winner on Friday October 4. Good luck lambies!

Hello lovers. Let's talk about the time I peed my pants.

It feels like forever, doesn't it? I know I've kept you going with book reviews, but the days of me writing about life and lamenting about the latest home improvement projects feels far and few between. Things are busy for everyone and I'm right there with you, and I keep taking notes on things I should be blogging about. I'm hoping I can just get my shit together but folks it's hard. But let's start tonight and see if I can't make you laugh like old times.

So remember how last week I said I was going to a play called Spank that was a parody of the book Fifty Shades of Gray? And I was so super excited because I was going to go with Emily, who I really love and who I really miss, and I was just so excited to get the fuck out of the house? I didn't feel great Monday, Tuesday I was home with a fever, and then Wednesday I felt just fine. Great, actually. I thought for sure I would be good to go to this play which was in Minneapolis so that is about a two and half hour drive from me one way. It makes for a long night, but it's almost always worth it.

Anyways.

So I met her in Forest Lake and we drove into the city together and that drive... I all of a sudden felt off. But then I thought, well I haven't eaten today so obviously my blood sugar is tanking and I'll be fine after I eat. We got to Minneapolis and decided to eat at a place called Brother's Bar, which turned out to be nice and inexpensive and if I were feeling better I probably would have liked my food. I mean, I'll try it again, let's put it that way. I ordered a wrap and literally, as soon as I got it, I felt sick. Like going to lose my shit sick.

I went to the bathroom, and nothing. You know that feeling where you want to puke because you are convinced you'll feel so much better? And you wish you had paid more attention to the bulimia unit in school to learn  how they puke on command? Well that was me, and nothing happened.

We walked over to the venue for the play and Mill City Nights is a bizarre venue. Not only did none of the employees seem to have a clue what was going on, they had on suits and attire that made them look like they were pretend CIA folks who felt grossly important because of their shiny shoes and jackets. But they clearly had no clue.

And the play was alright. It was funny in spots but not really what I was thinking it was going to be? And the male lead was not the guy as advertised and honest to god- this guy looked like a mannequin. Not in a good way either, maybe it was just too much makeup to make him look chiseled on his face? I don't know. What I do know is that shortly before the half way mark I felt like I was going to vomit on the guy in front of me. And bless Emily- she said it was OK if we left and I hope it wasn't because I looked like I was going to vomit all over her. I would have really tried to turn the other way. Because that's what friends do.

So we leave, and I feel terrible for basically wasting our money, and I feel terrible like I'm going to throw up in my car, and it's just a total downer. I know I was a terrible date and I was probably far too quiet and it was only because I was trying really hard to not throw up.

So I drop her off at Forest Lake. I decide to drive to the gas station and get some gas, thinking I would be able to not stop in Hinckley, and get home faster.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA..... nope.

As soon as I got out of my car I knew it was coming. I knew it. I kind of ran into the store and into the bathroom where I promptly vomited enough to necessitate a courtesy flush. Not only that? But I peed my pants.

That's right people, this 31 year old, absolutely stone sober woman, peed her pants in public. Not just a little, but enough to make it clearly obvious that oh hey- remember that sprite and water you drank all night? Yeah, bladder don't care- it's coming out. Proof that all of the kegels in the world can't save you from urine.

The best part about this is that I still had to pump gas. And drive two hours home in urine soaked pants.

After that humiliating bit, I got back into the car, after finding a Target bag to sit on, and started driving. Only realizing that every few miles? I had to pull over and puke. And I don't know if you have ever puked on the side of the highway in the middle of the night but it's pretty fucking scary.

And I ended up stopping in Hinckley anyways to get some water and also to puke again. But that was disorienting because on the other side of this bakery is a night club. Keep in mind, this is a Wednesday, Hinckley is Bible beating farm country, and they are playing music you'd hear at a rave where you would be dancing with Molly. So I've got the "boom, boom, boom" bass thing, and I'm puking and all I can smell is baked goods and it wasn't good. I probably also scared the attendant because my makeup was smeared, I obviously smell like urine and vomit, and my pants are clearly stained.

I got back on the road and from all of the puking? I was exhausted. So exhausted that I started hallucinating animals on the road, and all of the fog was really screwing with me, and I slammed on my brakes for a barrel. Thank god almost nobody ever is on the road with me otherwise I would have totally looked like a drunk driver. I made it home just before 1 a.m. and seriously- I felt rough.

So that was my Wednesday night.

I'll tell you about Thursday and Friday.... tomorrow.