Relaxing is hard.

Do you remember I mentioned I wanted to try hypnobirthing this time around? Well I've ordered a book, which hasn't gotten here yet but I expect it to this week. In the meantime, I have a mp3 file of a hypnobirthing relaxation exercise that a friend told me was really helpful for her. So now that Matt has gotten it into my iTunes, I figured I would give it a shot tonight.

And it's really hard.

I decided the best place for me to do this and not fall asleep would be in Penelope's room and sit in the rocking chair with my feet up on the ottoman. I had the lights dim, the door shut, kids in bed, Matt was out walking the dog, and things were quite in the house. So I listened to the introduction, which seemed pretty straight forward. I then went into part one of two, which was getting yourself relaxed. Part two is supposed to get you more relaxed and help you while you are actually birthing.

It was actually a really soothing thing to listen to.I was really enjoying it. And then I realized I can't stop thinking about things. I can hear sounds in the house, pets running down the hall, Olivia's radio down the hall, the sound of cars outside, etc. It's really hard to just concentrate on relaxing. I'm wondering how the hell am I supposed to maintain this calm while I'm in a hospital bed, having contractions, nurses coming in and out and people talking? I will keep trying, maybe this gets easier the more and more that I do it?

In other news, at my appointment last week, I had asked if going to a labor and delivery class was worthwhile considering I have already had two kids. My OB laughed and laughed and said yes, absolutely go because enough has changed in labor and delivery practices in the seven years since I had done this that it certainly wouldn't hurt. SO, I grabbed a calendar and had Matt sit down with me to figure out when we could go. Ideally, we'd do the 9-5:30 Saturday class but since there isn't one in March, the one in April is really late. Late enough that I'd be beyond 37 weeks and could already be in labor. That leaves us with the two night class that goes 6-9:30 each night. Conveniently enough, this is during the kids' spring break, so I am hoping Olivia and Jackson can spend two nights at a Grandma's house so that we aren't having them stay up late waiting for us.

Also not awesome? The class takes place on my birthday and the day after. So... party. I hope the other preggies aren't offending if I'm eating cupcakes during the class. HA!

In other preparation news, I have started watching YouTube videos of births and people's commentary on birth and different techniques they used. And you know what I've learned? They are all horrifying.

If I was a first time mom, this would be the absolute worst thing to do. Thankfully this is my third time around so I do know what I'm in for. So I feel like my job in the next 16 weeks is to seriously work hard at preparing myself. The other thing is I feel like my labor team kind of is lacking. I do know that Matt really sucks in stressful situations and despite being my partner for 13 years, has absolutely NO clue how to read me or determine what I need. I've decided that isn't something you can even teach a person either, they either get it or they don't. So that's where I'm at. I'm basically going to try to get myself ready to birth alone, essentially. Sure, people will be there, but I'm going into this thinking I am basically on my own. Which is kind of daunting? So we'll see how this goes. But I'm hoping that once the book comes, the whole hypnobirthing concept will make more sense to me and I will be able to do this whole relaxation thing.