I feel like I'm finally getting my groove back. Matt said I used to be super crabby if I didn't get my nightly walk in every night years ago when I was in my weight loss kick. I'm starting to get that feeling now but I am also really very tired so it's been a struggle to go.
Last week though I walked Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. The goal this week is to go every day. I'm not kidding. I am finding that walking in the morning pushing a stroller is really tough and it makes one mile feel like I'm walking to my death. In the evening, after dinner, I've been walking a mile and getting the itch that I could go further so I'm going to try. Two miles with the stroller is an absolute no-go because Penelope and Lucy are heavy. It's almost pushing 60-70 pounds and I know that's nothing to most people but for me? It's something.
I also discovered after really looking back at my notes and putting information together on my OWN that I think I have heat intolerance. Which, I know it sounds like I'm one of those crazy people using Dr. Google and diagnosing themselves but that's not the case at all. The last three summers have been kind of awful and full of days where I'm sick (vomiting, diarrhea, migraines, fatigue, and flu like symptoms) but they are sporadic and I didn't think there was any kind of pattern.
Oh but there is!
They always happen the day AFTER I've been outside for awhile on a moderately warm day. Just this summer alone I've had a few of these events (and they are the worst, no joke) and they have all started while I'm outside. I'll start with a headache, then I have to run to the bathroom, then I feel like I'm going to throw up everything I've ever eaten in my life, then I get unbelievable fatigue (it feels like I'm going to pass out because I am that tired) and I start to hurt all over. It'll last for an entire day, sometimes two. Nothing helps other than a ton of ice water and sleep.
I sent a message to my rheumatologist and my endocrinologist and I got varying information. Rheumatology didn't seem to care even when I point blank asked if it's possible I have lupus. I guess I'll have to bring it up at my next appointment again and see. Endocrinology was a little more forthcoming with information and while he didn't seem concerned or surprised, he did let me know that where I have brain damage and pituitary damage is where your body regulates your body temperature. So when you get warm your body tries to regulate it, same as when you get cold. Apparently I cannot do that so I'm at a significantly greater risk for heat stroke, so that's really fun. The only solution he has for me is to wear a hat, always be under shade, where loose fitting, breathable clothing, drink obscene amounts of water, and do whatever I can to not be hot.
I also realized on July 3 when I was sitting, in the shade, in the yard watching kids play and chatting with Olivia and her friend, I had drank 150 ounces of water that morning between 7-11 a.m.
And I didn't pee. Not once. Didn't even feel like I had to.
In fact, I drank more and more water all day.
I peed before I went to bed for the first time that day at 10 pm.
So clearly, something isn't normal.
**
Next up is my walks. I do the same loop every walk because it's easy to know when to turn around and it's easy for me to find my way home in case I get confused or disoriented.
On Saturday though, as I was almost to my turn around spot, a man was walking toward me and I didn't think anything about it. As he walked past me I just..... I got that feeling. You know when your gut is telling you something isn't right? You get that urge to run and look for help? That's what I got.
I turned at my normal spot and he kept walking the direction I had just come from. As I got around the block I just have an uncomfortable feeling and I actually feel unsafe. Something about this doesn't feel right and I'm not sure what to do. So I keep walking. I realize he's matching my pace but we're walking on parallel street. I slow WAY down mid block to let him get ahead of me. After was more than enough time for him to get ahead, I start going only to realize he stopped and was waiting for me.
I actually felt like I was being stalked. I'm not kidding.
I realize I'm maybe three blocks from my house now so I decided I'm going to risk injury and start jogging to get ahead of him. I'm clipping along at a decent pace and I just... I have a really uneasy feeling. By the time I got to my house (I live on a corner) I realize I have screwed up because now this guy knows where I live. He must have heard or seen Matt, who was working in the garage but had his saw pulled out into the drive, because he basically started booking it. I tell Matt what happened and he doesn't seem concerned, but I didn't see the guy again.
Not going to lie, I didn't walk yesterday because I'm mildly afraid I'm going to run into this guy again.
But it made me wonder, has a man ever felt that way? Like he's being stalked and followed, and been scared about it? I can imagine it isn't as frequently as women have. My entire walk home I kept running scenarios in my head, like what are my options? I can maybe run through some yards, maybe start banging on doors. I had my phone and I could have called for help but what if he grabs me and I drop my phone? How would they know where I was dragged off to? If I started screaming would anyone be home and willing to come out and help me?
My priority this week is to seriously get pepper spray or something to take with me. Even if I never need it, maybe just having an option would make me feel better. I don't know.
3 comments:
Man, pushing a stroller is no joke. It is absolutely exhausting. I don't blame you for preferring to walk on your own. And yes, it sucks that we have to think about who is following us and what not, I bet men don't have to do that. Grr.
I remember pushing a stroller back in my running days and even with a good stroller it seemed like I was pushing bricks. I find the whole heat intolerance interesting because my oldest has some serious reactions when he is out in the sun for to long. You't think he has the flu the next day. And during his latest test, we found that his pituitary gland is insanely small. I will have to ask his endo about it next time we go. But you got me thinking! Also, always trust your gut. Stay safe out there girl!
Oh wow, that's crazy about the day you drank and drank and didn't pee all day. Definitely not good. I don't do terribly well in the heat, but I'm usually okay. I've felt nauseous before but it's not a regular thing. That must really suck, especially in the summer, though. It's tough to really cool yourself down if you have to be outside. I do have a cold intolerance I think though. My body doesn't break down cortisol as much as it should - I'm on a steroid for it so it's getting better, I guess - but I think my cold intolerance is a factor of that.
Sheesh! Sorry about the scary man. I'm not a runner/walker really, but it does freak me out when a guy is following me. I remember in middle school when I was walking to a friend's house by myself and a guy was behind me. I moved to the side, pretended to be do something so he'd walk past me, and I could be behind HIM. Definitely not as creepy as your story, but it does show you that women (and girls) think of this a lot more than men probably do.
-Lauren
www.shootingstarsmag.net
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