'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy

Don't fret my pets, I have not killed anyone nor am I in need of bail money! (Is that a resounding collective sigh of relief or disappointment??)

Nope, it's time for another book review!

'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy - Leslie Langtry

For wisecracking single mother/professional assassin Gin Bombay, who comes from a line of career killers stretching back to ancient Greece, an invitation to the family reunion brings problems that go well beyond Aunt Jean's unappetizing potato salad. For starters, reunion business will include the mandatory blood initiation of Gin's five-year-old daughter, cementing her to the family business; on top of that, Gin's been assigned to eliminate a spy within the family, who may be her beloved younger brother. Things only get worse when she finds out that one of her marks is a client of her brand new boyfriend, a hunky Australian bodyguard. The beleaguered soccer mom/assassin concept is a winner, and Langtry gets the fun started from page one with a myriad of clever details, like the Hello Kitty phone perched in our heroine's death lab. The book's chief flaw is in Gin's one-liners; unlike the gracefully underplayed wisecracks of Janet Evanovich's like-minded bounty hunter Stephanie Plum, Gin's are one-joke affairs—all assassination, all the time—that quickly become grating.

OK, now I will start off by saying I say that movie One For The Money that was based off of Janet Evanovich's books and it was absolutely horrible. No white girl should ever fake a Jersey accent and I don't care how perky her boobs are. Admittedly I've never read any of Janet's books and the movie sealed the deal on that but I can tell you that I like Gin's character a lot better. Sure, some of the humor is maybe a tad overdone in some parts but I absolutely loved it. 

You know why? Because I feel like, while I'm not an assassin, I can certainly identify with her. She seems like she would be a fun girl to have in your group to get drunk with, which she does hilariously well and poorly timed in this book. I also loved the basis of the book that the entire family are killers with their own specialties and you do it or else, even if that is completely unrealistic. I think. I mean, I probably don't know if that is realistic or not. Hmm... 

Anyways. I flew through this book in less than 4 hours so it was good. It wasn't the greatest story of all time but it at least had enough going for it that I finished it lickety split. It's funny, it'll make you roll your eyes, but she is a talented author to watch for in the future. And (brace yourselves) I kind of liked all of the characters. I KNOW. Normally there is at least someone I wish were never written in the story because I don't like them, but all of the characters in this one were funny and great and you kind of wished they were your own family. 

The greatest part about this is that the book is FREE if you go HERE and get it through Amazon Whispernet. Honestly, what more do you want than a free book? This is part of a series so you'll definitely enjoy the others if you liked this one. 

Until There Was You

I've got to be honest, I literally just found out the greatness of NetGalley and I am part astonished it took me this long to find it and part ashamed of my reading friends who didn't tell me about it sooner. (Don't worry- I know where most of you live... *cackle*)

Until There Was You by Jessica Scott

A by-the-book captain with a West Point background, Evan Loehr refuses to mix business with pleasure-except for an unguarded instance years ago when he succumbed to the deep sensuality of redheaded beauty Claire Montoya. Since that brief lapse in judgment, Evan has been at odds with her. But when he is asked to train a combat team alongside Claire, battle-hardened Evan is in for the fight of his life.
 

Strong, gutsy, and loyal, Captain Claire Montoya has worked hard to achieve her high military rank. In Evan Loehr, Claire sees a spoiled commander who puts the rules before everything else-including his people. Army orders force them together and Claire soon discovers that there is more to Evan than meets the eye. He too has dark secrets and deep longings. For all their differences, Evan and Claire share two crucial passions: their country and each other.
 

One of the things I like about romance novels is that most of them require no real thinking. You don't need to know much about what's going on you are just anxiously awaiting the good parts. Oh stop, you know what I'm talking about. The entire story centers around Clair and Evan who are trying to train a team of inexperienced people who are being deployed. If you know absolutely nothing about the Army you'll be fine because Jessica explains it all really well and it's easy to follow along. 

I've got to be honest though- I kind of didn't like Claire. I KNOW, you always say I have a problem with the female leads and that's because I do. They are either too dumb for their own good or too much in the opposite direction and hard headed enough to be blind to the obvious. Claire falls into the hard headed category and that makes me like Evan more than I thought I would. I really thought Evan would be the tougher nut to crack but as it turns out, Claire's baggage tops Evan's. Go figure. 

But overall it was a good read. It's everything you want out of a romance novel and it leaves you wanting more. Like a series. I'm just saying. It doesn't become available to the masses until October 8, but you can go HERE to preorder it for your device. 

Morgan Hall

OK, so I have a few book reviews I'll be pumping out over the weekend but I'm going to start with this one because I'm going to flat out tell you that you need to read this.

Morgan Hall - by Bo Briar

Love never dies, and revenge never sleeps in Morgan Hall… Morgan Hall, a desolate country estate, has been in Lady Christie Morgan’s family for almost 400 years. A family cursed by eternal tragedy, and now Christie is the last Morgan. Apparitions appear, sparking a chain of horrifying occurrences involving Christie and the two men who love her: Anthony Longfield-Lothian and Tristan Ely. A saga of mystery and sordid family history weaves intrigue for the passionate love triangle. Past and present war as the secrets of three aristocratic families unfold - resurfacing in a spine-chilling mystery of passion and lust, ghostly happenings, and blood-curdling murders. Emotions run high as their world spins wildly out of control. Are they all cursed to repeat the grizzly past? Does sweet revenge claim its prize? Morgan Hall.

I'm going to start by telling you things I didn't like about this book. First off the way the text reads is very odd- I really had a hard time remembering that the book is meant to take place in current day. Some of the language used is so old fashioned that you'd expect this to have been taking place in the 1800's but then all of a sudden a modern day reference would pop up and it would just be really weird. 

What's also weird is Christie. I kind of don't like her and it's mostly because she's the stereotypical damsel in distress and I feel like if she were a friend of mine I would slap her silly a lot. She gets on your nerves. And the final weirdo thing for me was how the Christie-Anthony-Tristan relationship seriously felt like a threesome for the entire book. First off, why she picks who she does in the first place is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read and I almost stopped reading right then and there. And honestly, what guy do YOU know would be comfortable with their girlfriend being in the same bed as his friend and it'd be cool? NONE, that's who. 

BUT. 

You should read this book. Why? Because once you find out what the hell is REALLY going on, the entire second half of the book flies because you have to find out how this ends. I so badly want to tell you what I think about her first husband and her choices but I can't because that will completely ruin it for you. And the end? Oh my word. Seriously. First up, I was super sad about husband #2's death. Seriously. I was so sad and I genuinely felt heartbroken for her because he truly was an eternal soul mate and he's just gone. But THEN when I read the ending? The last chapter? Holy bejeesus it was creepy as hell, a terrible injustice, but absolutely perfect. 

I think I can say that it was the worst possible ending but the only logical one. It was the best ending for this book and it was amazing. Sure, I was all, "What the hell, Bo?!" when I read it, but then after thinking about it for a bit- it made absolute sense. It was tragic and perfect and everything you want in a good book. 

I know Bo is working on a sequel but honestly, it would be great without a sequel, but it makes me even more excited to see what happens to helpless Christie. So I am telling you- get this book, read it, and then come back here and tell me what you thought. Seriously. Tell me if you spit out your beverage like I did at the ending. 

You can check out Bo's website or even email her at bobriar1@gmail.com. I also think you should check out her publisher's page because there are a bunch of books on there that look very interesting. 

Whatever Lola wants....

....Lola gets.

For those of you who think I can't talk Matt into things, I'd like you to meet Lola.

 Lola is my newest baby aka the third cat in our household. She's free of any obvious deformities and I believe Stumpy and Batman with their deformed tails (or lack thereof) are angry about this. Lola is perky and she is a pisser.

 She is super adorable and cuddly and then she will attack your face and attempt to gouge out your eyeballs. Then lick your ear.

 She runs kind of sideways but that's OK because she's still faster than Stumpy and Batman. Who are pretty well adjusted to her now. Things were sketchy because she licked Batman's butt without permission and then tried to suck on Stumpy's nipples are rightfully so- they were not happy. But now that she is no longer doing these things, things seem to be going OK.

 But isn't she adorable?? Matt said absolutely not to another cat and then I saw her and was like, yeah right. Watch me work my magic.

 And now she cuddles with him when he comes home from work and he can't say no. Mostly because I think he really does have a heart sometimes. But then he says no to a goat and I go back to calling him an asshole dream killer.

And guess what is happening right now?? Stumpy and Lola are sharing my reading chair with my Robert Pattinson blanket and kissing. Don't you scoff at me- of course I have a Robert blanket.

But she's quite the character and I think she plots evil things. She only attacks me in my sleep and then goes to love on Matt. Which, obviously this is wrong- he would have let her get disposed of by his dad and I rescued her! That bitch should be grateful that I took her in when she's free of deformities. I prefer deformed animals or at least ones who are mildly retarded like Stumpy. They are just so much more fun. But we'll see how she does. We have to get her shots and spayed and all of that jazz so here's hoping she calms down after that.

Green to Go

So last year I reviewed the first book in this series call Red Right Return so it's only natural I read the second one.

Green To Go - John H. Cunningham

Buck Reilly went to hell and back in Red Right Return. In Green to Go, it’s a one-way trip. Good news turns bad fast, and the bad just keeps coming in this thrilling new Buck Reilly adventure. The unexpected contents of his parent’s Swiss bank account offer Buck a chance to dig himself out of the hole he’s been in since the recession hit, but first he must recover the treasure maps and clues he lost at sea. Those plans get put on hold when a friend is accused of orchestrating the biggest theft in Key West’s sordid history, and the FBI uses Buck's past against him to demand that he search for the thieves who fled aboard a hundred year-old schooner.

No good deed goes unpunished, and Buck’s dogged by greed and double-crosses from Key West to the Bahamas and points south. His hunt for the missing treasure pits him against a crazed mercenary, Peruvian rebels, rogue Cuban Secret Police and a beautiful woman torn between turning Buck over to the authorities or succumbing to his charm.

Buck’s a lot like the rest of us—trying to make ends meet and hoping for better times. He operates Last Resort Charter and Salvage, flying a 1946 amphibious Grumman Widgeon, hunting for sunken treasure and taking on an occasional passenger, no questions asked. GREEN TO GO is the second book in the series.

If you read my first review you'll know I really liked the first book. I liked it a lot because again, it's a fast read full of action. 

And again, I wanted to dislike Buck but god help me, I can't. He's the kind of character that literally has nothing good going for him in his life and literally everything he does puts him in terrible situations. At the end of the first book I really wanted to know if he'd recover what his parents had left him and his brother and holy moly, Batman- what they left Buck is absolutely NOT what I thought they would. Talk about game changer. It actually made me feel worse for Buck because after his brother writes him off basically it's like he's left with nobody. 

And then of course life just can't stop kicking him in the ass because a rowdy night of drinking lands him in a drunk tank and coincidentally, the witness of a huge treasure heist and then mayhem and crazyness ensues. 

I so very much love John's writing with these books because he writes as if these characters are real, you can totally picture the settings and you feel like you are right there with a little Jimmy Buffett playing in the background. I also love how absolutely nothing goes right for Buck and how no matter what he does, he's bombarded with pretty much every bad guy you could encounter while out looking for your friend and some treasure. 

Excellent writing, excellent story, excellent characters. It's such a fun read that keeps you wondering how the hell Buck is going to fix the mess he's in. I give this one 5/5 stars. Good stuff.  

The Sparrow and the Hawk

First up, come here tomorrow to see Meg's guest post about her book. You'll have a chance to win your very own copy.

The Sparrow and the Hawk

Jillie Harte, AKA the Sparrow, a filmmaker, is an agent for the NAS (Normal, Abnormal, Strange) Agency. She must find The Carmaletta Choker before it destroys the world. To get close to Franklin Doherty, suspected of having the choker, Jillie is producing a film on “Decoration, Fashion and Accessories Throughout History,” featuring Franklin’s antique collection.

Like the Sparrow, Griff, AKA the Hawk, posing as Jillie’s new cameraman, needs to retrieve the choker. As a shapeshifter, he feels certain of success.  But he doesn’t bargain for a sassy, sexy redhead—or for his urge to settle their differences in bed.

Griff and Jillie must overcome dark forces, and face their developing relationship.

And they thought saving the world from evil and chaos was hard!!!!

Well, you know I love me some paranormal when it comes to books. It's actually a genre I thought I would hate and then along came Twilight and then I found out I actually really like things that involve bizarre creatures. Go figure. 

Here's what I loved about this book: 

• It's a fast read. I finished it in about 7 hours and it would have been faster had I not had a kitten attacking the pages as I read. 
• The story pulls you in immediately. You know how some books start with giving you a lot of preamble before the actual meat of the books starts? Not the case here. Right away Jillie gets her assignment and she's on her way. 
• I don't know how I feel about Griff so much... but you have to read it and tell me your thoughts. I might have to re-read it again to see if maybe I am just "meh" on him because I am PMS'ing and crabby. But how it ends with Griff made me a little annoyed at him, but it obviously hooks you to read the next book in the series. 
• This book is actually funny. THANK YOU for not making a ridiculously serious story line and just nothing but action. I liked that humor was brought in at times where, if this were really happening, it's where humor would occur. And it's subtle humor where it's not trying to be hilarious, just regular folk banter and it's done well. 
• I also like how some of the story lines were a little predictable but then always had a twist. I knew something from the get go was fishy about her mother but then once you find out what it is, whoa. But I'm not convinced that's all of it, that more is coming in the other books. 
• Lots of dialogue. Call me a sucker- but I like a lot of dialogue between characters in my books because it actually makes it faster to read for me and have a better chance at mentally playing the story out in my head. 

Things I didn't love about this book: 

• I struggle with books with a lot of characters or a lot of background information to think about. I know it adds layers to the book but sometimes it can take away. 
• I hate how grossly unprepared Jillie is for a lot of what her job entails. I know she works for the FBI of bizarre things essentially- but I feel like she'd have more up her sleeve to do her job. There's a part where she wonders what creatures with witch like powers would know about her. Granted, she can't be the best of the best and have every super power because that would be unrealistic, but still. I feel like she should have something worthwhile. 

Overall? I'd give it 3/5 stars. It's not the best book I've ever read but it's a solid debut and start to a promising series. I feel like we're going to hear from Meg in the future and it'd be kind of cool to say you read her books when she first started out. 

Weekend warrior. Kind of.

I have been on a reading roll as of late, and not just books that I'm reviewing, but books for fun too. So let's add some books to your to-read lists. 

Live Wire - Lora Leigh

Meet Captain Jordan Malone. For years he has been a silent warrior and guardian, operating independent of government protocol or oversight, leading his loyal team of Elite Ops agents to fight terror at all costs. A legend in the field, Jordan’s true identity has remained a mystery even to his own men…until now.

Tehya Talamosi, codename Enigma, is a force to be reckoned with. A woman this striking spells nothing but trouble for Jordan. Armed with killer secrets—and body to die for—she’ll bring Jordan to his knees as they both take on the most deadly mission they have ever faced. Because this time, it’s personal…

I am a huge fan of Lora Leigh and she never disappoints when you want a romance novel with a hot guy and great sex scenes. Because let's face it- when you're on your period, this is good stuff. I've read a lot of the others in the Elite Ops series, I think I am missing one (but not for long), and they were all good. We have a smart girl, we have a hot guy, we have fantastic sex scenes, we have danger and crime, and just all rolled into one really good story you can't put down.

Mine to Hold - Shayla Black

Tyler Murphy was an LAPD detective, single and happy—until a near-fatal tragedy crippled his friend, fellow detective Eric Catalano. While Tyler supported Eric, he also became a shoulder for Eric’s wife, Delaney, to lean on. But with one naughty suggestion from Eric, a drunken night with Delaney spilled into erotic abandon. Before it was over, Tyler saw his best friend’s wife as a woman and yearned for more. When Eric struggled to deal with the aftermath, Delaney begged Tyler to leave. Crushed, he fled to Louisiana, hoping to escape his longing for the one woman he could never have again…and unaware of what he’d left behind.After two years of living with regret, Tyler finds Delaney on his doorstep, her husband having abandoned her long ago. She’s protecting a shocking secret and desperately needs refuge from a stalker determined to see her dead. As they fight to stay alive and catch the killer, they struggle to resolve the guilt of their past pleasures. But they can’t deny that what was once a spark is now a flame burning out of control. To possess Delaney—body and soul—Tyler must heal her pain and thwart the evil that’s a mere breath behind her…

This was the first book I've read from Shayla Black and I of course bought it because I liked the cover. I'm going to be honest- I was worried I wouldn't like this book because it felt like it might be your run of the mill romance novel, but I was totally wrong. The story reels you in and keeps you there because you want to know how it will end- does Tyler and Delaney end up together? Do they solve Delaney's problem? I totally loved this book and it has made me a Shayla Black fan. What I really liked about this book is that it flips from past and present but not in the way where you get annoyed at having to keep track of all of this information. Nope- it's done well and it makes you root for both Tyler and Delaney. 

On The Island  Tracey Garvis Graves

Anna Emerson is a thirty-year-old English teacher desperately in need of adventure. Worn down by the cold Chicago winters and a relationship that’s going nowhere, she jumps at the chance to spend the summer on a tropical island tutoring sixteen-year-old T.J.

T.J. Callahan has no desire to go anywhere. His cancer is in remission and he wants to get back to his normal life. But his parents are insisting he spend the summer in the Maldives catching up on all the school he missed last year.

Anna and T.J. board a private plane headed to the Callahan’s summer home, and as they fly over the Maldives’ twelve hundred islands, the unthinkable happens. Their plane crashes in shark-infested waters. They make it to shore, but soon discover that they’re stranded on an uninhabited island.

At first, their only thought is survival. But as the days turn to weeks, and then months, the castaways encounter plenty of other obstacles, including violent tropical storms, the many dangers lurking in the sea, and the possibility that T.J.’s cancer could return. As T.J. celebrates yet another birthday on the island, Anna begins to wonder if the biggest challenge of all might be living with a boy who is gradually becoming a man.

OK, here is hands down my most favorite book out of the summer. I have read it three times since July. I read it for an online book club I'm in and I'll be honest-  I was hesitant. The story sounded like a cross between that movie Cast Away and a little Mrs. Robinson. Which, it kind of ended up being just that- but it was done beautifully. It really was. It was written so well and the story is really, truly great. I finished this book in just under 7 hours and I couldn't put it down. I couldn't believe the story after their plane crashed and they literally washed up on the beach. You know what will happen between Anna and TJ but when you realize how long they are on this island you not only blame them, but you root for them. I was on edge the entire time and had to take a breather during the shark incident. And the jellyfish incident. It's awesome and if you are in a book club or in the market for a really good book you'll get lots of use of because you'll want to read and re-read it- this is your book. I am so excited to see what Tracey writes next because she has herself a life time fan based on this book. 
**

What have you read lately that was really, really great?