The Score

I've already read the first two books in the Off Campus series, but rest assured, they are all stand alone books. You don't need to read them in order but I promise you that you will love them.

The Score - Elle Kennedy 

He knows how to score, on and off the ice

Allie Hayes is in crisis mode. With graduation looming, she still doesn’t have the first clue about what she's going to do after college. To make matters worse, she’s nursing a broken heart thanks to the end of her longtime relationship. Wild rebound sex is definitely not the solution to her problems, but gorgeous hockey star Dean Di-Laurentis is impossible to resist. Just once, though, because even if her future is uncertain, it sure as heck won’t include the king of one-night stands.

It’ll take more than flashy moves to win her over

Dean always gets what he wants. Girls, grades, girls, recognition, girls…he’s a ladies man, all right, and he’s yet to meet a woman who’s immune to his charms. Until Allie. For one night, the feisty blonde rocked his entire world—and now she wants to be friends? Nope. It’s not over until he says it’s over. Dean is in full-on pursuit, but when life-rocking changes strike, he starts to wonder if maybe it’s time to stop focusing on scoring…and shoot for love. 

Alright, if you have read the other two books, you know that Dean is basically a man whore. He sleeps with almost anything that walks, in the open, no worries. He comes off as irresponsible, the classic dumb jock, unreliable. Turns out, Dean isn't those things. He plays the part he's been given but underneath it all is a good guy who meets his match in Allie Hayes.

Fresh off a bad breakup, Allie finds herself crashing at the house that Dean and his fellow hockey teammates live at, except Dean is the only one home. After one too many tequilas Allie seduces her way into Dean's bed- and she's mortified. She isn't the casual sex kind of gal and she hates that she's become a notch in the bed post. Dean doesn't think it's a big deal but Allie is so embarrassed she decides nobody can know.

Turns out, Allie is pretty memorable because Dean can't stop thinking about her. After some persuasion on his part, he gets Allie to agree they are going to be the friends with benefits couple. It all sounds well and good but slowly they each become a bigger, and more important, part in each other's lives.

Soon Dean finds himself in trouble with the team, grieving his friend's death, and making poor choices which drive Allie away. It's for her own good because she needs to know how to do things on her own since she's never been single. Eventually we get a happy ending and what I'm assuming is a big hint on book four.

Overall? I'm actually giving this book 5 stars. Mostly because I really liked Dean, the sexy scenes are great and plentiful and because I just really love this series. I loved the first two books so I knew I'd love this one.

Wild Within

Now would be a super great time for you to tell me what a good job I'm doing at reading off my shelf of books I've had for years and didn't read yet.

It's OK, I'll wait.

OK, back to the post, this is a book I got in my Bookworm Box.... a really long time ago. We don't need to publicly say how long it was but I think it was before Penelope and she's 2 1/2 so... yeah. I won't even tell you how many books have been unread of my shelf for longer. Don't judge me.

Wild Within - Christine Hartmann

A year after a family tragedy, Grace Mori embarks on the journey of a lifetime… 

Two thousand, six hundred miles of blistering heat, wilderness, and soul searching—that’s what Grace signed up for when she decided to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. It’s not a voyage for beginners, but with no husband and her family still recovering from her bother’s death, Grace is more alone than ever. 

This trail meant something to her brother, and she’ll hike it in his memory, but she can’t do it alone. So with her brother’s gear and a small group, Grace takes the most important first steps of her life. 

Grace finds something more than peace and magic on the trail… 

When her first day of hiking ends in heat stroke, Grace is rescued by a handsome, red-haired hiker who calls himself Lone Star. Grace has an immediate connection with him, and their brief encounter leaves her fearing her soul mate has slipped through her fingers. Although he vows to keep in touch, Grace doubts she’ll ever see him again. 

When fears become reality, the only people Grace can rely on may be killers... 

Grace is surprised to find notes left at supply posts along the trail. Lone Star’s eloquent letters keep Grace going, clinging to the hope she’ll find him—and happiness—at the end of her journey. But as the trail becomes more perilous, menace grows within the group. And when Lone Star’s letters mysteriously stop coming, Grace fears the worst. 

As tensions flare and a killer emerges, Grace must battle to survive…and reunite with the man she’s sure is her future. 

I'm really torn on this book for a few different reasons, but I can tell you this absolutely is NOT a five star book. All of the people who have given it five stars must read some really terrible books if this one is just far above the rest. At best this is a 3/5 for me.

The story really revolves around Grace, who we learn early on is still grieving over the loss of her brother Kenji, and is kind of lost in the world. She doesn't know where her place is, her sister is moving away and now her parents are leaving too and Grace realizes she's kind of alone in the world. She finds out that her brother was planning to hike the Pacific Crest Trail as a thru (meaning he would be going from the Mexican border all the way to the Canadian border) and she decides, in all of her inexperience and naivete of the world, she's going to do it in his place, with his stuff, in his honor.

I know, you're saying to yourself, "But Sara, I thought you hated the book Wild by Cheryl Strayed for this very reason?!" and to that I say- you're right! Now that I've read this book I have to tell you I dislike Cheryl in that book even more now. She feels like so much more of a whiner. Which sounds ridiculous to compare a fiction book to a non-fiction book but here we are. I feel like the PCT is actually attainable after reading this book and maybe that's ridiculous because this is a made up story! Of course it wasn't as awful!

Oh lord. I need more sleep.

Anyways. On day ONE (I know, you're rolling your eyes) Grace almost dies, gains her trail name, and somehow meets the love of her life. All of this happens within a few hours of being dropped off. I can't even be angry at that because I know that if this were me, this also would likely be the scenario unfolding. So Grace meets, Lone Star (his real name ends up being Angus, but he goes by Gus when not on the trail) and they fall in love. No hanky panky, but I think any of us would fall in love if saved (literally) by someone. But they don't hike together, he is much faster so he gives her a pep talk, promises to leave her notes at the check in points, and off he walks into the sunset. She pulls on her big girl panties and goes off on her own.

Now is a great time to point out that had the book JUST BEEN ABOUT THIS HIKE, it would have been SO much better. But no. People want to add drama to books so enter Ed out for revenge! Ed is pissed off because he's been nailed for a crime he didn't commit but (dun dun dun) Jerry (the guy who DID commit the crime) is on the trail in a group called the Sideways Seven (because there are seven of them) and he's following so he can exact his revenge!

Does it sound ridiculous? That's because it IS, you guys. It's dumb.

So of COURSE Grace gets mixed up into it and everything goes to hell and Grace needs to be saved by none other than... LONE STAR! You guys, this is miraculous because A) Lone Star isn't even hiking anymore and you find out why in the book and B) not only is he there, but so is Celine! Celine is the dead brother's girlfriend and there's a whole story around that.

You guys. It's just ridiculous. It's now morphed from a cool adventure book with romance to a funny take on crime on the trail. I don't know. It's dumb.

What saved it for me honestly WAS Lone Star and this book should have left out all of the stupid crime and ridiculous story and made it solely about Grace on this life changing trip, hiking towards Lone Star. That would have been a 5 star book. Easily. This... this was kind of dumb with some great spots thrown in. I wanted to hear about her making it to the end, what happens off trail with Lone Star? So many loose ends just kind of dropped.

Turns out this is the first in a series (shocker.... massive eye roll here) so I thought maybe it continued their story. Nope. Book two is a totally different story. So.. that's it. That's all we get of Grace and Lone Star? What kind of bullshit is this? Sigh. It's maybe a 2.5 star book but I'm rounding it to 3 because Goodreads doesn't give half stars.

Start Without Me

I make no secret about how much I dislike Thanksgiving. I just really don't like it and I dread it every year. Not because I've had some terrible Thanksgiving experience but mostly because I've never had a GREAT one. My family doesn't really have traditions other than we get together, mom and I cook (and hate it), and by the time food is on the table I'm over it. Hurry up and eat and get the hell out, people. I look forward to Christmas so I am that person who is shopping Thanksgiving Day. So clearly, I picked this book because these characters also aren't super excited about Thanksgiving. We're like literary soulmates.

Start Without Me - Joshua Max Feldman

The author of the critically acclaimed The Book of Jonah explores questions of love and choice, disappointment and hope in the lives of two strangers who meet by chance in this mesmerizing tale that unfolds over one Thanksgiving day

Adam is a former musician and recovering alcoholic who is home for Thanksgiving for the first time in many years. Surrounded by his parents and siblings, nieces and nephews—all who have seen him at his worst—he can’t shake the feeling that no matter how hard he tries, he’ll always be the one who can’t get it right.

Marissa is a flight attendant whose marriage is strained by simmering tensions over race, class and ambition. Heading to her in-laws for their picture-perfect holiday family dinner, her anxiety is intensified by the knowledge she is pregnant from an impulsive one-night-stand.

In an airport restaurant on Thanksgiving morning, Adam and Marissa meet. Over the course of this day fraught with emotion and expectation, these two strangers will form an unlikely bond as they reckon with their family ties, their pasts, and the choices that will determine their way forward.

Joshua Max Feldman focuses his knowing eye on one of the last bastions of classical American idealism, the Thanksgiving family gathering, as he explores our struggles to know—and to be—our best selves. Hilarious and heartrending, Start Without Me is a thoughtful and entertaining page-turner that will leave its indelible mark on your heart.

We have a lot of balls in the air with this book- we have Adam, not even a year into sobriety from alcoholism, who is rebuilding his life (kind of) after the end of his relationship with Johanna and break up of the band he was in. He's a mess. He kind of reminds me of James Frey in A Million Little Pieces, he has the potential to be a lot of things but it's himself that prevents it. He has a good family who are all fully over his crap and he's almost angry about it, like they should want to deal with more of his crap. Or maybe he doesn't fully understand what his alcoholism did to everyone, he admittedly didn't want to listen to their letters at intervention so agreed to rehab... so he's kind of a jerk but I have a feeling he'd end up being a really great future husband and dad. Which seems odd to say, right?

Then we have Marissa, who is still married to her husband though they are having some serious relationship issues. She's a flight attendant and on her travels she runs into her high school boyfriend, they have sex, and uh-oh- she's pregnant! She hasn't told her husband and doesn't really want to face his family on Thanksgiving so she's stalling.

Adam and Marissa meet, it really is almost like fate because of how they keep coming together but you're rooting for them to salvage the holiday. Adam gets to meet Marissa's inlaws, Marissa reconnects with her mother (who is also a drunk and not a great mom, lets be honest), and Adam somehow ends up with his family. It's a really FULL DAY. We find out the deal with Marissa's inlaws, what happened to Johanna, and everyone connects with their family.

I finished this book rather quickly and overall, I liked it. I'm giving it 3/5 stars only because there were a few loose ends with me. I know nobody is going to solve all the problems in a day but Marissa's story line feels really not finished. I really want to know what Marissa does, what happens with the baby, does she and Adam keep in touch, all kinds of things. It took me a few days to think about it and I get that that was the point- leave us hanging a bit, but damn if I'm not one of those people who like everything neat and tidy at the end of a story. I don't do well not knowing. My imagination isn't satisfying enough, I suppose. It was a pretty good book though and if you find yourself traveling for Thanksgiving, stick this in your bag. You'll likely need it. Start Without Me is available on the HarperCollilns website and also Amazon.

OT, PT, and Rheum, OH MY!

I have so much happening medically lately that I am (frankly) really overwhelmed. I feel like it would be really great to have someone to go to all of my appointments with me but then it feels like such a pain for people and honestly, pointless? Like what are they going to do? I'm struggling with being in control of as much as possible and coming to grips that I can't be in control because I'm just not capable anymore. I am learning that it's really hard to give up things and admit it's time to let go.

One of the things I really struggled with while I was hospitalized was physical therapy and occupational therapy. Matt says I was adamant that I absolutely didn't need either, there's nothing wrong with me, having a baby doesn't make me handicapped.

Clearly I didn't have a handle on what had actually happened to me.

I've gone an entire year not needing either and my therapist flat out said to me a few months ago that maybe, maybe, I need to reconsider that. That maybe my impairments aren't going to improve, but maybe there are modifications that could help me be less frustrated and angry about it. Maybe I won't be running 5k's and training for a half anymore, but maybe there are exercises I can do to make it less painful to get out of bed in the morning.

She isn't wrong. I know it in my head, logically, but dammit. I hate that this is what my life has come to. Needing modifications and exercises to stay mobile.

So last week I met with a physical therapist, Dave, and an occupational therapist, Anne, really briefly. I'll meet with Anne more maybe sometime this week even (my appointment has to be rescheduled since Friday we had a bit of a nasty winter weather day and they didn't want me to try to drive there), we'll see. Dave the physical therapist was really great, though. He wanted to know the whole story, he wanted to know what I was like physically before and since. What hurts, what doesn't, what happens if I do this or that, what diseases and conditions are ruled out and what's still on the table. He was really great and the best part? It's happened a few times with doctors but it really makes me feel like they get it, when they look me dead in the eye and say, "Your situation really sucks. You should be dead, I understand why you still wish you were and I can't say I wouldn't feel the same." I usually always come back with, "well, it could always be worse. I could be paralyzed, or have cancer, it can always be worse" and Dave? Dave just sat there and said, "I guess. But this is pretty bad and I understand why you're at this spot. I get it. It's pretty bad."

I felt so VALIDATED.

He said he recommends me to come three days a week for at least four weeks, and that's significantly more than he recommends for most patients but that I'm kind of a problem. So I guess we'll see? I left there with three stretches to do in the morning, two before I even get out of bed and one after I pee (because let's face it, my bladder is really, really, REALLY full when I wake up) and I haven't really noticed a difference? It's only been a few days though so I'm sure in another week or two I might feel a little different. I'm hopeful.

Rheumatology... sigh. I feel like I don't have a good read on this doctor at all. Some interactions make me feel like she feels sorry for me because I'm clearly crazy, and other times she makes me feel like there is something wrong with me, she just can't figure it out. So my labs were kind of a mixed bag so she repeated a few of them this week. My inflammation one is still high but something with my muscle is OK so she started me on Plaquenil to see if that does anything for me. That's a drug used to treat Rheumatoid Arthritis and Lupus, so now I'm like- I thought you said my tests were negative, why are we doing this?! After reviewing my family history and seeing my mom has RA fairly severely, she tells me that sometimes you can still have RA and Lupus with a negative test.

Honest to god, I don't know what to think anymore. I'm not kidding.

So I've taken that for like 3 days now, feel no different. I'm so incredibly tired though and I wish we could find something that fixes that. She wanted to start me on Prednisone and I just really, REALLY don't want to do that. It's another steroid, I have never heard of or seen anyone have a positive experience with it, I don't want to gain 50 pounds in two weeks, and I'm always angry and lashing out now, I can't afford for it to get worse on that. I voiced all of that and I told her I wasn't thrilled about it and I see she did not call it in. So maybe she listened? I'm going with that versus she forgot about it, because she seems pretty thorough so I don't think she would have forgotten.

But as you are reading this, I'm at the Mayo Clinic. Today I'm taking the fat kid education class in the Bariatric Clinic (mandatory before you can see one of those doctors) and then I am going to the Women's Health Clinic to talk about my estrogen replacement options. It's an exciting day, right? Well, I'll report back on the thrilling details later. In the meantime, I really hope that my appointments end early enough for me to get on the road before noon so I can take the kids Trick or Treating. I'll be really sad to miss that.

Vicious Cycle

I bought this book at my local Barnes & Noble solely for the cover. It's been on my shelf for.... alright, it's been there awhile. But I'm on this mission to really get through the books I already have before buying new ones. Noble, right? Just know I'm failing because I already bought the next two books in this series.

Vicious Cycle - Katie Ashley

Deacon Malloy’s life is dedicated to the Hell’s Raiders motorcycle club. Tough, hard, and fast with his fists, he serves the group as sergeant at arms. But his devil-may-care approach to life is thrown for a loop when the five-year-old daughter he never knew existed lands on the club steps.

Alexandra Evans is devoted to all her students—but there’s always been something about Willow Malloy that tugs at her heart. There’s an aura of sadness about her, a girl in need of all the love Alexandra can give. When Willow stops coming to school, Alexandra’s search leads to a clubhouse full of bikers…and a father hell-bent on keeping his daughter always within sight.

The moment Deacon sees Alexandra, he has to have her in his bed—and he’s never met a woman yet who couldn’t be persuaded. No matter how attracted she is to Deacon, Alexandra refuses to be just another conquest. But it’s Deacon himself who could be seduced—into a brighter future for himself, his daughter, and the woman he’s falling for against all odds.

This book is advertised as being a good read for folks who are fans of Sons of Anarchy, and I suppose I get it. It's got a motorcycle club, we've got the good girl falling for the bad boy, we've got the bad boy wanting to be a little better but knows he's held by the balls by the club, and we have the loyal side kicks (who get their own books).

At first, I almost put this book down and didn't look back. It's starts with little Willow seeing her mother be murdered at the hands of a biker. Next chapter is Deacon murdering a fellow biker who double crossed the club. It's fairly graphic and that just isn't my thing, so it was kind of tough to stomach. (To be fair, I really loved the Sons of Anarchy show but there were a LOT of times I suddenly had laundry to do). We soon get into the meat of the story, white bread good girl Alexandra is teaching Willow at a public school and once Willow is missing a few days, Alexandra does a home check. Turns out, Willow's dad is a bad guy biker and new to the whole parenting thing. Alexandra offers to home school Willow (because there's a threat against Willow and it's a whole safety thing) otherwise she would call CPS, who would be a headache for the club. Deacon reluctantly agrees and insanity ensues.

Deacon and Alexandra fall in love (no shocker there, right?) and out of nowhere Alexandra actually has balls! Not literally, but she fights other bikers, shows Deacon two can play the game, and puts Deacon in his place. Tit for tat.

Overall? It was pretty great. I rushed through the book and I ordered the next two before I was even done with this one because I'm desperate to know how this series ends. If the sexy scenes are half as good, I'm going to be a happy girl. I'm giving this one a solid 4/5 stars. Some of it is a little hokey but I don't even care- Deacon's character surprised me in the end and made this a pretty fun read.

Beautiful Player

I'm just going to start this review by telling you I need ALL of the books. All of them.

Beautiful Player - Christina Lauren

A bombshell bookworm. A chronic Casanova. And a lesson in chemistry too scandalous for school.

When Hanna Bergstrom receives a lecture from her overprotective brother about neglecting her social life and burying herself in grad school, she’s determined to tackle his implied assignment: get out, make friends, start dating. And who better to turn her into the sultry siren every man wants than her brother’s gorgeous best friend, Will Sumner, venture capitalist and unapologetic playboy?

Will takes risks for a living, but he’s skeptical about this challenge of Hanna’s…until the wild night his innocently seductive pupil tempts him into bed- and teaches him a thing or two about being with a woman he can’t forget. Now that Hanna’s discovered the power of her own sex appeal, it’s up to Will to prove he’s the only man she’ll ever need. 

YOU GUYS. I just... I literally don't know where to even start with this one. I can only tell you that I am going to purchase this entire series. Immediately. I read the first book years and years ago and I vaguely kind of remember it but honestly, I could stand to read it again and it would still be amazing. If you want a romance with really great characters that you will shake a fist at, and some romance (you know what I mean, ladies...), this is absolutely your next read. Hands down.

In this book we have socially awkward Hanna who (after being slightly admonished by her family) decides to reach out to Will, a friend of her brother's that lives in Manhattan and asks him to basically... teach her the ways of getting out there. Being social. Dating. The whole works. Things start out awkwardly when we realize that Hanna had always had a thing for Will growing up, and the age gap (she's 24, he's 31) is kind of a biggie- they are at different points in life. Will is a bit of a man whore and though she's no virgin, Hanna isn't a sex pot. She's awkward, she fumbles, she isn't sure what to do and she (in an act of desperation) asks Will to tutor her.

And tutor he does. *Swoon* Sexy times ensue but Will finds himself developing feelings for Hanna that extend beyond friendship. He has almost no experience in a monogamous relationship and he can hardly believe he's entertaining the thought. Then we have Hanna who is convinced Will isn't able (or willing) to change his man whore ways so she (of course) makes an ass out of herself versus being up front with her feelings. Which, considering how blunt of a person she is with everything else, the sudden clam up of her feelings didn't feel genuine. That is really my only critique of the book. I finished this over last weekend and I really, really, REALLY enjoyed it.

The Blue Zones of Happiness

I am always pretty up front when I say non-fiction isn't the first thing I'll grab from the shelf. Sometimes I'll see one and think, "this is in front of me for a reason" and that's how I feel about this book.

The Blue Zones of Happiness 

New York Times best-selling author Dan Buettner reveals the surprising secrets of the world's happiest places—and shows how we can all apply the lessons of true happiness to our lives. 

In this inspiring book, Buettner offers game-changing tools for setting up your life to be the happiest it can be. In these illuminating pages, you'll:
• Meet the world's Happiness All-Stars—inspiring individuals born in places around the world that nurture happiness as well as Americans boosting well-being in their own communities.
• Discover how the three strands of happiness—joy, purpose, and satisfaction—weave together in different ways to make Denmark, Costa Rica, and Singapore some of the world's happiest places.
• Use the Blue Zones Happiness Test to pinpoint areas in your life where change could bring more happiness—and then find practical steps to make those changes.
• Learn the Top 10 ways to create happiness, as revealed by a panel of the world's leading experts convened specifically for this project.
• Boost your own happiness by applying the lessons of Blue Zones Project communities—America's largest preventive health care project, which has already improved the health and happiness of millions of people across the United States.

I don't hide my personal struggles with mental illness since the birth of my fourth child. Her birth was traumatic, I died, I was revived, and I haven't been the same ever since. My depression is the worst it's ever been, my anxiety is through the roof, I now battle PTSD, and suicidal thoughts. If there was anyone meant to read this book- it's me. I jumped at the chance to review this specifically because I'm essentially desperate to be happy. I don't even want to be SUPER happy, but anything is better than wanting to die everyday, so I went into this book ready to take notes and make changes.

The book itself is a rather fast read and it covers all major areas. The author talks about happiness in different parts of the world, things that could affect your happiness, places that happiness could happen (your job, your community, your financial well-being, personal life, etc) and of course- what IS happiness? We say we want to be happy, but what does that really mean? Of course, it's subjective- what makes me happy won't necessarily make you happy or rate high in your life and vice versa. This book sets out to help you figure out what areas you need to make changes, how to prioritize the things that make you happy, and what to do if you're stuck. Sometimes it might mean being brave and quitting that job you hate and do something that (maybe) isn't as financially rewarding, but it could open up new doors to happiness for you.

Perhaps the most interesting part of the book was discussion on building happiness within communities. Of course, it could mean the city you live in or communities could be smaller circles of people that you operate in (clubs, groups, school, etc) and what you can do to foster happiness within the community. I found it interesting because the city I live in has gained a reputation of being the lamer of the Twin Ports cities, we have a lot of bars and dingy areas, we need more jobs and essentially an entire revitalization of the city. We're making progress but when you go to city meetings or even look at the community social media pages you find two groups of people: the we've-always-done-it-this-way group who offer no positive solutions but love to give criticisms, and the dreamers, the people who have a positive outlook and are excited at the strides we're making. I find that when you have those people, and you hear their enthusiasm, it's catchy. All of a sudden I'm doing what I can to join the revolution, so to speak. So that's my really long way of saying I think this would be a really good book for young adults. Seniors in high school, college students, those just starting out in the workplace as a grown up- we (as communities and a nation) need more dreamers, more happy, positive people with the goal of making everything better.

If I had to find a critique, and you know I try to always balance a review, I didn't get a lot of information about mental illness. I'm depressed, how do I get happy? How do I turn the ship around? It's most geared towards general happiness versus specific solutions to specific problems, if that makes sense.

Overall? A solid 4/5 stars. I really flew through this and I could see this being adapted for a public speaking engagement or morale boosting sessions.