The Jello Incident.

Last night's post was pretty heavy and so tonight I want to shake it up and tell you about The Jello Incident. I hesitate in telling this story because if my mom ever reads it, my brother and I may get into trouble. But it's worth it because it was hilarious and we are idiots. But this year my Grandma made my kids the Jello Easter eggs and the story all came back to me.

It all started one Easter... several years ago. I mean, it was a long time ago.. maybe even 15 years ago. Holy cow. I'm old.

Anyways.

One Easter our Grandma made us these Jello molded eggs. Like these:

You see the big ones to the left? Well.. for whatever reason, Travis and I each took one and went upstairs with them. The upstairs to my mom's house used to be an attic but people renovated it and there were three rooms: mine, my brothers and the neutral territory room in the middle we called the play room. Well, the stairs to go upstairs has a weird ledge on one side but the ceiling is HIGH. I mean.. really high. So high that in order to paint it you have to have scaffolding set up on the stairs. So.. you get how high this is.

Anyways. So we each have this blob of an egg and we decided that it would be a good idea to throw them around like balls. Now, I'm like... 14 or so and Travis was around 12. Again, we were idiots. Travis threw an egg too high for me to catch and the sucker flew up and hit the wall... really high up.

And it got stuck.

I'll be honest- we panicked. Not only did we hear our mom scream "Knock it the fuck off up there" but we knew if she came upstairs and saw the egg stuck on the wall.. she'd be pissed. So we decided we had to get it down and never speak of it.

Logically, we found a yardstick and with careful maneuvering we knocked the egg down onto the stairs. Which was gross. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to clean Jello off of carpeted stairs without using a vacuum.

When I looked up I realized we had a bigger problem. The Jello egg stained the wall. Folks- that wall had a huge, I'm talking baseball sized reddish colored stain of Jello on it. We were going to die unless we could clean it.

Again, we put our genius brains together and devised a plan. We would take the Christmas shaped Avon soaps we got from Grandma at Christmas (which were never used but the boxes were still on our dressers), somehow attach it to the yard stick. We ended up using a ton of masking tape. Then we figured... the soap has to be wet in order to properly clean, so we got a soaking wet washcloth and secured that on top of the soap, which was taped to the yard stick. The whole thing seemed completely flawless.

I sent Travis back on the ledge (because he's taller than me) and made him scrub.

Unfortunately...

we failed to take into consideration that the soap itself was red and hey... the box clearly states the soap is supposed to turn the bath water colors.

Fucking FAIL.

We were now working with a stain the size of a honeydew melon on the wall.

Fortunately, our parents never came upstairs often so our mess went undiscovered for years. It was always this joke Travis and I shared because we knew if our mom knew what we did she'd be pissed.

Fast forward to a year or two ago and Mom moves her bedroom upstairs. I happened to get there right after all the heavy lifting was done and my mom says something to me about the stain, and did I know how it got there?

I told her it had been there since we moved in. I completely lied to my mom, but most importantly, she bought it.  I immediately had to call Travis and tell him and he of course laughed hysterically. And agreed that continuing to lie was probably our best option.

So this year when my Grandma brought Jello eggs for the kids I made DAMN SURE they ate them in the dining room under close supervision.

Sorry about the wall, mom.