Winona.

 So on the very last day of my vacation with my friend Amy we hit up Winona. Now, I've only been to Winona briefly for work and never really left my hotel, so I hadn't really seen much of it. But it's a beautiful college town and I'd like to go back and do more of the touristy things sometime. So here are some pics of the area:

 Pretty, huh? I had a good time. The drive home was long. Like... mega long. I know Amy was tired driving from Milwaukee to Rochester and I know I was tired driving from Rochester back to my home, which was another four hours away. I ended up stopping in Hinckley (as usual) to pee and get muffins (and some caffeine) and I ended up getting home shortly after 8pm. It was a long day. I feel asleep half on my bed with my jacket still on while Matt was telling me how the kids were while I was gone. Yikes. :)

So what else.. oh, Olivia graduated 4K. I have pictures and a post coming on that. I've gotten on the couponing bandwagon and am getting so fucking pissed off trying to make a coupon binder. Nothing is really what I want and the fact I'll have to buy stuff online pisses me off. You've failed me, Office Max. FAIL. But this weekend I spent cutting coupons.

 That's only what I got out of newspapers... I have a whole other stack of computer printed ones. Matt says I've gone to the dark side. Maybe I have. But honestly? I'm ok with that. We need to save money on our month to month expenses and if this helps then I'm on board.

Then I spent a good portion of my holiday weekend crafting and putting things in my shop. Which, by the way, I have a lot of new stuff. Not only do I still sell my card sets, but I've decided to sell single cards and duos. It makes sense. Sometimes I only have the supplies to make one or two and so we'll see how that goes. But here is one set I really like, Because Nice Matters:

 And then Flamingo Kisses:

I have a couple of custom orders I'm making sample proofs for so I'm excited about that. I'm hoping I can get a few more sales so I can buy the counter top for my laundry sink. According to Matt we have everything else we need. If you care anything at all about my sanity, you'll buy some stuff. :) BECAUSE I'll take pictures of the mess and trauma that will be the laundry sink project. Oh yes. It will be worth it, babes.

In the meantime I have a ton of book reviews in the works. With some real life stuff thrown in there. And oh yeah- I'm taking a stained glass class starting tomorrow. And we'll talk about the 30/30 list and my alternate items. Oh yes. Lots of stuff is happening and being worked on.

But in the meantime...... don't forget to send me your Dear Sara questions by Thursday evening peeps. Email me at: sarastrand9438(at)hotmail(dot)com and I shall be your bitch. (At least for Friday questions.)

Assholes, Idiots, a loser Barnes & Noble employee and Jen Lancaster.

So, the whole point of our trip to Milwaukee was to go to the Jen Lancaster book signing. Two things: 1. I've never been to a book signing, so I figured it'd be fun to say I've experienced it, 2. I am a huge Jen Lancaster fan. I think I was one of the first people reading her books and have stuck with her through all the highs (Such a Pretty Fat) and the lows (Pretty in Plaid) and just think she is awesome. I think I like her so much because she reminds me a lot of me. I say stupid stuff, I pose dumb things on poor Matt (surely we all remember the cat raping incident?), and I like to spy on people.

We went to the book signing after our lunch at Frank's Diner. The signing started at 7 and it was in this huge Barnes & Noble inside of an even bigger mall. The guy at the customer service told us "if you want a seat, get here no later than 5. And buy your book before." So like good little citizens we are, we bought our books at 3:15, strolled around the mall to get me some caffeine and sat our asses down in seats at 3:30.

We sat there by ourselves until 6. Then people started milling in, but we had the best seats. We were second row, in front of Jen. So in hindsight, even though my ass hurt a lot afterwards, I'm glad we got good seats. But let's talk a minute about the people around us. First off, I will say the majority of people were really nice. Some talked to us, people were polite and asked if we had seats saved, we had a hearing impaired woman next to us with a nice interpreter, and so for the most part- people were nice.

My biggest pet peeve is with people who are late. I hate, hate, HATE late people. If you are late, please don't even fucking show up. I hate you that much. You aren't funny, you aren't cute, and if you look around- you are getting death glares. So when like 50 people showed up right at 7 and proceeded to stand along the bookshelves (meant to be a little pathway in case of a fucking fire so the rest of us could get out), I feel stabby. What also pisses me off is when people don't know when the fuck to shut up when someone is talking. When you have, let's say, Jen's ASSISTANT in front of the group giving you instructions on how to open your book for signing, shut the fuck up so we can get this done in an orderly fashion. So Amy and I ended up showing most of everyone around us what to do because they are stupid. And not to be rude- but even the deaf person paid attention and was following instructions.

But the kicker was this woman.

Not only does she come late, but along with everyone else who was late, she didn't have her book purchased. So instead of going to the table by the door with a TON of books available for purchase, she decides to just take one off the wall that's behind Jen. Totally fucks up the whole wall. Now, the person in front of us was so annoyed by this woman that she took a book from the bottom to fill in the hole at the top. So it was like this when Jen came:

It just irks me. And the woman in the hat genuinely couldn't figure out why the 40 of us sitting in seats and following directions would be irritated. I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope her tires were flat when she went outside. It's just people like that who irritate me. Why do you have to be so rude? How are you that stupid? How can you not understand why approximately 40 people are giving you death stare?? The lady next to me (wearing a ridiculous fur jacket) said she felt like slapping her. Now, I didn't quite feel like slapping but I appreciated the fact it wasn't just me. Anyways.

So Jen came. And her husband Fletch (who initially got more applause than Jen). I've seen Fletch on her blog so I knew what he looked like, but he is exactly how I pictured his personality to be.

Jen read from her new book which is a novel instead of a memoir. I've not gotten to read the book yet but it's in my pile. It sounds hilarious.

This was Fletch's face when someone asked him a question about what Jen's like to live with. And I think he went on about how she's always nagging him and I thought his face was hilarious and priceless.

Had I really thought about it, I would have thought of some questions? I feel like I kind of know her already by reading all of the books and reading her blog frequently, so I didn't know what to ask. BUT Amy and I both made her laugh. One woman asked if Jen is looking to get more cats, and she replied with something like, eventually maybe? This woman was saying Jen could have her cat, and I'm like, "It's actually out in her car" and not only did everyone else laugh, but Jen did too. I'm just happy I didn't pee myself at that point?

 After the Q&A was the book signing part. That's when the loser Barnes & Noble employee comes in. She tells the crowd (keep in mind, the people sitting have been there since a little before 6 and we've been there since 3:30) that the "easiest" way for her to do this is to let the people standing (the super late and rude assholes) go first (Sara feels stabby) and then work our way from the back to the front. (Sara feels homicidal). Guess what that means, folks? That means Amy and I sat there until almost 10pm. The fucking mall and store were closing by the time we got to leave. Literally, I think we were the second to the last out.

But we got our books signed by Jen and Fletch. I have a terrible picture because despite the assistant saying she could work a camera, she doesn't know what "zoom" means. So yeah. Sad day. But.. we got it done. We did what we wanted on this trip so it was worth it. She's as funny in person as she is in her books. It makes me feel like that could be me eventually. And you people would come and wait hours for me, right?? :)

So tomorrow... I tell you about the last day of my trip. Which is a place called Bubs, Garvin Heights and the longest drive home ever.

Milwaukee or Bust.

I've been away for the best possible reason. I had a mini vacay with no husbands, no kids, no neurotic cats, spending money I don't have, and loving every second of it. Today while doing bills I almost regret buying the most comfortable pair of pants I've quite possibly have ever owned even if they do look weird on the bottom but then again... I pretty much don't. You're just gonna have to wait student loan payment!

Anyways. ;)

I took a fabulous trip with my friend Amy to Milwaukee for the purpose of attending the book signing for Jen Lancaster's new book If You Were Here. I am a huge fan of hers and would like to be her BFF. (Jen, I'm prepared to try making friendship bracelets. I wasn't good in my younger year, but dammit-- I'll give it another whirl for you.) BUT we did lots of fun stuff along the way.

It started with me leaving my house at 4:45 am so I could get to Amy in time for us to leave and get to Milwaukee around supper time.

 We stopped at a McDonald's (in Rochester, I think?) and it was ghetto. So ghetto it had a blue toilet.

The drive to Milwaukee was really long. I was so fucking tired because I got *maybe* 4.5 hours of sleep before. But Amy and I had talked about a ton of stuff so it felt like it went by rather quickly. We stopped in Wisconsin Dells for some outlet shopping. I ended up getting the kids some toys at the Disney Store but Amy.... well she caved and bought a pair of Crocs. She tried to convince me but the flats felt like suction cups on my feet and I just didn't know if I could do it. But she did and she loves them. When the rubber meets the road, baby.

After that we made it to our hotel which was really nice. It offered free drinks and free pizza. When we checked in the nice girl at the desk (who clearly wanted to be our BFF) told us the third floor was haunted. Coincidentally, we were staying on the third floor. We went up to our room and the window looked out to the pool area. And then I saw it.

A gang (does 3 make a gang? Let's pretend it does) of lesbians. This trip took a sudden turn for glorious. Not only was there one girl who kept hitting her head (seriously- I couldn't get a good picture of her doing it but it was weird), but there was one in particular who was special. I'll apologize now that I didn't get a picture of her ass, I believe I was blinded when I saw it. BUT I did get a picture of her hiking up her boxer shorts. (Yes- you'll all appreciate my super awesome zoom because these were taken from a third floor window, while we kind of hid behind some blinds)

 And her practicing the Rump Shaker with her girlfriend.

 From afar we only suspected they were lesbians. Fortunately, on the way down to get our free pizza we shared the elevator with them. How Amy and I didn't bust out laughing, I don't know.

The next day our mission was clear: shopping so Amy could get her J.Crew & NorthFace fix, eating at Frank's Diner, and the Jen Lancaster book signing.

We shopped. Amy got a lot of cute stuff, I got a pair of pants that are amazing and weird at the same time, and I got a brown cardigan for my Vegas trip. It's super thin and light so I can wear it over my strapless dresses if I get chilly. Which I might not, but it'll go in my purse perfectly. See? I have some smarts. We got some other random stuff too but we had to hustle it to Franks before one... because after that they don't serve anyone anymore.

Amy found this place that she wanted to go to badly. Seriously, anything I write can't do it enough justice, but you can watch the clip of their diner here and it's a totally accurate description of our visit there.

 After seeing the place in action, I already want to go back. And I'm going to get the most massive pancake I have ever seen. But Amy and I ordered burgers because it was lunch time for us. Now, while I ordered a regular burger with fries (and pickle.. obviously)...

 Amy ordered a HUGE burger unknowingly. But hers had bacon and bleu cheese in the middle. She said it was really good. AND she got home made tater tots. Seriously. They looked good. So our food was amazing and we were so full. We also got a kick out of sitting right behind the grill at the bar. We got to see how they made everything and it was fun.

 And then we got our picture outside of the place.

Now... tomorrow I'll tell you about the rest of trip. Mostly because I'm tired and Blogger won't let me upload any more pictures and I have a bunch more for you.

Yeah... Dear Sara is postponed. Suck it. ;) (Not really- I'm on my period and that would be gross.)

Milwaukee.. part one

I won't give you too much for the night because I'm off to get my free soda/beer/mixers/wine and pizza at the hotel we're at. Serious. Not only that but according to the lovely the woman at the front desk, who appears to have all her faculties about her, the floor Amy and I are staying on is haunted. SO... we might have our own version of Paranormal Activity here. So yeah. Stay tuned.

But the drive was super good and despite leaving my house at like 4:30 a.m. I'm not so tired. I was really tired once I got to Amy's house but now I've rallied. The drive from her house to Milwaukee was completely full of construction... so that kind of sucked? We also missed the entrance to the hotel because the road right in front is totally tore up. So we basically drove through a giant hole to get into the parking lot. BUT... it's a nice place.

We also stopped at an outlet mall and I got a few things for the kids and I didn't get anything for me. BUT... I might tomorrow. We'll see. ;)

Tomorrow's agenda is shopping in the morning then heading over to some mall for a Jen Lancaster book signing which I am super excited about. So far we've had a good time and I'm already relaxed from a really stressful couple of weeks. I completely needed this break.

But in the meantime lovewhores...... send me your questions for Dear Sara this Friday! ;) I might also have my May Giveaway Box of Awesome to announce??? Email me at sarastrand9438 (at) hotmail (dot) com with your questions baby oats.