Under pressure.

So it's week 29! I feel like this last week has gone the fastest of all of the weeks so to me, that feels like it's all going to snowball to a triumphant finish now.

• I have gained 20 pounds this pregnancy total. Which, to be honest, is a lot. At least for me. With Olivia and Jackson I gained 15 pounds each with them. I guess the blessing here is that it is literally all in my stomach. I can still wear my pre-pregnancy skinny jeans, I'm not puffy or swollen anywhere (like I was with Olivia), and my face hasn't spread. Which happened more with Olivia than with Jackson. I think my issues with Olivia is I was pregnant mostly during warm months and I just retained water. 
• I can still tie my shoes and shave my legs! I'm going to keep documenting this because so many women say they can't and I feel like they are totally milking it. Sure, depending on the shoe I have to get creative but I'm still rocking cute shoes. 
• Oooh... except I bought these really cute shoes from Maurices that are slip on. I have almost nothing to wear with them but they were on clearance and I love them so. 
• The most notable thing is all of the pressure. At my 28 week appointment last week she checked my cervix and all is well, locked up tight. BUT, she said she could tell there is a little more room which makes her think most of what I'm feeling is just stuff moving to accommodate being able to birth a baby down a tiny little hole. It essentially feels like I have been kicked in the vagina all day every day. It's really kind of awful. I never had that with Olivia, but Jackson I did only because he was head down, ready to go from week 24 or so all the way to the end. Penelope is not head down ready to go, she's a fan of sitting on my bladder, bouncing on it, and trying to push up into my boobs as often as she can. 
• I passed my glucose test! I have literally no idea how I did that, but I don't care because yay for not being diabetic! Bring on the cake!
• I start going to the doctor every two weeks now, so my next appointment is actually next week for week 30. I feel like it's going to start happening so fast now. Which is very exciting. 
• My baby shower is this weekend and I am so excited. I basically am itching to buy baby things and it is so hard to not just free for all while in a store. I did register for it (that was super fun) and according to the website, I have 79 days until my due date. EEP! 

Overall though, I'm feeling good even though I'm exhausted. I'm not getting a second wind at all, I'm just trying to plug through the things I need to do before Penelope comes. The kids are super helpful and are really excited about her coming soon. 

Much to do, all to do.

I feel like since this week will mark the first week of my third trimester, that my time to get projects and things I've wanted to get done are really starting to loom over me. I mean, I have 12 weeks left. That sounds like a lot of time, but I know that it is going to fly by. I have to buckle down and just tackle the projects one by one. I showed Matt the list yesterday and he says I'm insane.

1. Clean the pack and play. I bought this used pack and play off of a Facebook group a few months ago for next to nothing. Admittedly, I haven't taken it out of the bag. It could be the grossest thing in the entire world and I'm kind of scared. Best case scenario, all it needs is a good cleaning. Which I found a good tutorial on Pinterest on how to clean one, and every one featured pictures of gag worthy bath water. I'm trying to pawn this off on Matt and so far, he doesn't seem to want to do it.

2. Scrapbook the photos I have printed. At least finish our vacation albums from our last trip to Florida and then South Dakota. I feel like if I can get those done, I'll have the world in my hands.

3. I have been given some clothes that will fit Olivia and Jackson in another year or two. I got these months ago and I have just been stacking them in a closet near my bedroom. Well that closet is now completely full. I need to sort which items go to which kids, and buy enough hangers to hang them up in the appropriate closet. It'll be nice to reclaim the closet by my bedroom again.

4. I need to get Matt to move the china hutch out of the dining room and into the garage so we can sell it. Mostly because with the carpet in the dining room gone, the floor is slanted. Not a big deal, but the china hutch is VERY wobbly. So to solve that issue, and keep the storage we need, we purchased kitchen cabinets and a nice counter top that Matt is going to install in the dining room. I'm secretly thrilled because during the holidays I realized how badly I actually need a counter top in the dining room to place trays of food. SO, we'll get that back. But I want this all done before Penelope comes because I have a fear the current china hutch will fall on a kiddo.

5. Finish the basement living room area. Seriously. I was on such a roll and then I took a break and basically gave up. But I think it'll be nice to have that totally completed so the kids can play video games together down there and not worry about being too loud for Penelope during nap time.

6. Clear out all of the toys and outgrown clothes from both kids' rooms. Seriously. It's out of hand. I know once Penelope is here, I won't have the time it takes to do this and poor Olivia's closet is cram full. I'm saving a lot of her stuff for Penelope obviously, but that means I need to make room the basement. I can see now how people fill their basements. It's terrible.

7. Prep for a yard sale. Yes, I know it's absolutely CRAZY to try to do a yard sale a few weeks after giving birth. I get it. I can either do that, or sell things one by one out of the garage and basement. I don't know what is going to be less of a nightmare, but I know it has to go because we need to be able to use the garage, bare minimum.

8. Make some freezer meals. Granted, I have wanted to do this for quite some time, but haven't been ambitious enough to really look into it or do it. But I feel like the chances of me wanting to cook are going to be non existent, and when I'm in the hospital, Matt still needs to feed himself and the kids. So if you have a freezer meal that doesn't taste like leftovers, is easy to prep and make, or tips for freezer meals- share them with me.

Nesting is absolutely in full effect. I am trying to get things done now so I don't feel like I have to do it while trying to sleep with a newborn.

Nesting. It's kind of a sickness.

So this weekend I had my first real surge of "nesting". I said this to Matt who demanded to know how that differs from every other day of my life and I refused to acknowledge that.

Mostly because he's right, and we can't let him think I'm slipping.

But the other day I got to wondering where my boxes of things I kept from Olivia and Jackson's first few days home. I could mentally picture the boxes- hers was pink and his had stripes and a green top. And I know I wouldn't have misplaced them, I'm pretty diligent. So I looked in my closet.

Not there.

Weird.

So I looked through my scrapbook stuff.

Not there.

I went to the basement and may or may not have tore the place up.

Not there.

I won't say panic set in, but it was pretty close. But then. THEN I remembered that when we moved in there was a weird, random box I didn't unpack because it wasn't dire and I put it way in the back of the closet in my office/scrapbook room under the stairs.

And I was right. Conveniently labeled "baby keepsakes". I kind of am a genius.

And when I opened the box, I found two boxes I was originally looking for AND I found my photographer's album from our wedding, a random plate with our wedding date on it and the stand, and a picture from my elementary school baton days, not sure why I even have that as it was on the wall at my mom's house.

But then I figured it was probably something the kids dragged home. Every time they go to my parent's house, they bring random things from there like little hoarders.

The important thing was these boxes. And then I absolutely had to open them up.

I mean, I'm nothing if not thorough.

Olivia's box had a LOT more stuff in it. I had her coming home outfit, which was Classic Winnie the Pooh theme (like her nursery) and it said, "Are you friendly, little bees?" on the top. I had her first rattle, which was a Piglet one. Her first winter hat and mittens, her hospital hat and bracelets (and mine). Her ultrasounds, first footprint, random pictures, a sweater and matching hat Matt's grandma had made her, her first birthday candle, her first pacifier and her first pair of teeny tiny yellow duck socks. Oh, and the Dr. Seuss book I was originally on the hunt for. More on that tomorrow.

Jackson's didn't have as much stuff but then he was a far easier baby and didn't require a pacifier or rattle and the like to keep him happy. He just wanted snuggles and food. Which, coincidentally, is very much like he is now. But his box included his coming home outfit, also a Classic Pooh ensemble because his nursery was the exact same as Olivia's. His hospital hat and bracelets (and mine), pictures, a sweater Matt's grandma made him. The little sign Olivia insisted we buy for his door. And the blue sweater someone from Matt's family's church made him that he wore until he was 3 (I'm not kidding- that was the miracle sweater that stretched!!). The best part is not only did it have his name on it (though I would have preferred it to say "Jackson" and I get pissy when people call him Jack because that is not his name.), it zipped in the back AND  the zipper started at the top of his hood. Basically made it the easiest sweater in the world for a little boy who liked to run. I could zip one handed and run with him.

I so wish I could remember who made this for him because I would love a sweater like that for Penelope. Seriously. He couldn't wear this until he was about 6 months old, and it was a bit big, but it was the best thing I had. I can't ever get rid of it. All of my favorite memories of him at the park for the first time include him in this sweater.

Which brings me to nesting, phase 2. In my tearing up the basement frenzy, I found a box of his old clothes. A few of each size, just a random box. Probably left over from a yard sale or something. But I had started folding it nicely thinking I'd sell it on a garage sale site on Facebook and then couldn't. On Saturday, in my dining room, I had a bit of a breakdown not being able to part with any of it. No, none of it would be Penelope worthy because it's all very boyish, but still.

What if I decide to get CRAZY and go for a fourth baby and it's a boy? What if? I can't rule that out yet. I don't know how I'll feel once Penelope comes. Maybe she'll get here and I'll be like, woah- three really IS company and we are done. But maybe I'll feel like we're still missing someone.

Of course, my absolute luck is that the next pregnancy would be twins, we'd then have 5 and we'd be uneven, not to mention, completely out of freaking room. Seriously. I have NO idea where I would house five children. None. I mean, Matt and I literally might have to move to the basement, which I would absolutely not want at all. Logistically, five kids would be a nightmare for a lot of reasons. So it'd be a real roll of the dice to try for four because nothing in my life works out nice and even like that.

But still.

What if. That's all I keep thinking.

So the box is neatly packed, back into the basement.

Just in case.