Recovering.

SO much has happened and I'm sorry I haven't posted. To be fair, this month has kicked me so hard in the ass, so I have legitimate excuses. I'll give you a quick list of what has happened:

• I had Lucy! She's born, she's beautiful, she came into the world in a very eventful way on August 1. 
• I almost died. Twice while giving birth due to an amniotic fluid embolism. More on that later. 
• I actually remember nothing because I was in a coma and I sustained a whole list of damage from the AFE and subsequent surgery to save my life essentially. 
• I start my follow up appointments today- first up, neurology. I'm hoping I can get some answers and start feeling like a normal person. 
• Until then, I can't be left alone, I can't drive, my activity is limited, and I basically feel like a prisoner but I understand why. There have been times where I have seriously wondered why I was even allowed to leave- I'm obviously in no condition to be on my own. Thankfully I have a ton of friends and family dropping off meals, helping with the big kids, basically making sure I don't live in filth here. It's really nice. 

So more soon. I didn't want to go too many days and have you wondering if I actually died. Almost, but I'm not quite ready. 

24 weeks already or is that all?

Depending on who you talk to, me being 24 weeks pregnant either feels like it's flying by or it's at a snail pace. And truly, I flip flop on that as well. I am officially due on August 8, and according to our ultrasound at the last appointment, it's yet another girl.

And I'll take the unpopular road and be honest when I say I'm not super excited. I had really hoped for a boy and it's just not in the cards. It's interesting how I always get the people who remind me I should just be happy with whatever but then I'm a seasoned pro at baby making at this point and I'm able to roll my eyes and keep it moving.

Because bottom line, sometimes people are assholes, and if your personal feeling isn't "normal", it's like involuntary thing to just beat a person down.

Anyways.

24 weeks

Sorry it's a blurry picture, our camera pretty much sucks and Matt isn't great at taking pictures in general. But there we go- I clearly have a bump now. I'm pretty  much the same with every pregnancy bump wise as all of my others. 

Overall I feel fine. I've started having pressure where it feels like I've basically been kicked repeatedly in the vagina. That's super fun. So if you see me walking like I've loaded my pants, it's because it hurts. I don't really have any cravings, and I don't feel the baby move so much. Every once in awhile I get a very light, small movement, but that's it. Which is a bit disappointing. I had been banking on that kind of making me feel connected to this pregnancy but no such luck. I worry about that. I just really, really want to get to a point where I'm excited about this baby. I really want that so badly. 

Anyhoodles. My weight is good, I've only gained six pounds so far which is pretty standard for me. Baby is measuring on target, heartbeat sounds good, my blood pressure is being maintained well with my medication that I'm on anyways, and next appointment is my glucose test which sucks. I hate that. But it's weird because that'll be 28 weeks and that means I start going to the doctor every two weeks, which means this baby is coming FAST. 

I am not at all ready. I am that nut who likes to be over the top ready months in advance and the fact I'm not is really stressing me out. But at the same time, I have zero motivation. I put together a registry on Amazon because Matt wants to try Prime for the free trial, and if I did a registry I could get some kind of baby sample box. Which, yay free stuff. 

I have a toddler bed for Penelope that I will be painting this summer. I also have a dresser that both girls will share since Penelope's current dresser is really too small so there is no way I can get two girls' things in there. So that also will get a snazzy paint job this summer and cleaned out. I really need warmer weather so I can just work on something. 

I was given a double jogging stroller by my in-laws for my birthday, so I'm ready there. Then my over the top, amazing friend Amy got me a double umbrella stroller for my birthday/Mother's Day. Which is going to be so great because the jogging one is pretty large even when folded and takes up the entire back of my mini-van. The umbrella one is going to be so great for trips to the mall, or anywhere I anticipate needing more trunk space. So I'm very grateful that basically my two biggest things are taken care of. I am going to start getting some of the clothes that Penelope outgrew back tomorrow so I will need to figure out what I still need to buy. I anticipate I'll be starting over because the season of clothes I had don't match what I'm going to need so that's kind of frustrating. 

But yeah. That's where I'm at for 24 weeks. I'm kind of all over the place, right? Oy. 

Things are looking up! *knock on wood*

Seriously folks, 2014 can just kiss it as far as I am concerned. I have to be honest and say this has been one of the most difficult years we've had in awhile and I am so ready for it to be over. I'm not one to wish days away, but I've just about had it and I can only think that 2015 is going to be good to us. Surely we can't have a streak continue, right? But here are some things that are happening in the land of Strand this week:

* there is a slim chance that some of our medical bills are going to be re-submitted to insurance. As it turns out, my prenatal appointments from earlier this year weren't actually coded as such, which is why I have been paying on a ridiculously huge medical bill all of these months. There is a chance, if the hospital agrees to re-code them and resubmit them, that they will get taken care of and I'll be paid back some of what I have already paid. Not by Christmas, I'm sure, but hell- I'll take it when I can get it.

* I honestly think I'm done with the nausea. Sure, this morning I threw up a lot but I think that had more to do with waking up with a raging headache. Anytime I wake up with a headache, I will inevitably throw up during the day, not related to anything else with me or what I eat, but that the pain level just gets to the point where I will throw up.

* I'm 15 weeks along this week! Seriously, next week I'll post a picture. Swearsies. I have to stay consistent with when I took pictures with the other two because I can't have that crazy un-evenness in my scrapbooks. Surely you understand.

* I accepted a part time job at my kids' school as a library assistant. It feels like it's going to be a perfect fit. Right now I am hoping I can keep both part time jobs, at least for awhile yet to catch up on bills and get ready for baby, but we'll see. If I can't make the schedules work, I have to make some tough decisions and I don't like that. I feel guilty no matter what, and I know I shouldn't.

* I am getting ready for Christmas and I kind of love it. Christmas is my favorite holiday, my favorite time of year, and no matter how bad things get- I always look forward to it. I'm trying to plan some fun holiday/winter outings with my kiddos to get every bit out of fun I can out of it.

* I don't think I mentioned how great Matt and I are doing right now. Seriously. We have been spot on with our communication, we feel like a team, and I am blown away at how helpful and supportive he is with this pregnancy. I keep telling him that this is amazing and I love it, and I love him. It feels good to know that I made the right decision when I decided to stick it out through the really awful years, because we are at an amazing spot right now.

OK- more soon. I have some picture updates coming for you... just as soon as I remember where I put my camera. As it turns out, pregnancy brain is an actual thing, and the third time is obviously the charm because this is the first time I've had it. (Did I tell you I keep putting random things in the freezer? Like all of the time, yet have no recollection of it at all?) So I'll find it. I have to. Mostly because I need it soon and we only have the one. But I'm going to look again before asking Matt for help- I think he's starting to worry I have dementia or something. HA!