Is it even summer?

I hate that it feels like we aren't even in summer. I mean, it does because nobody is in school, but it also doesn't because the weather has been crap and we have no vacation. I keep thinking maybe I should have just planned a vacation, even though we definitely cannot afford it, because not having something on the calendar is just depressing. I can't even lounge on my deck and read because it has either been cold and windy, or just plain rainy. I can't even garden because honestly, my plants look like garbage because they think we're still at the end of May, so they aren't doing a dang thing. 

Olivia has been busy working two jobs, so we honestly almost never see her. Jackson has been doing Upward Bound (which is like a college prep program), so he has been living in college dorms Monday-Friday for six weeks, so we hardly see him. I know this is part of them growing up, but man... I understand now when parents say they miss their kids as they grow up. They drive me nuts sometimes, but I do like having them here, even if it just means they are in the house somewhere. 

Penelope decided she wanted to get her ears pierced, so Matt took her to do just that. She truly believes she has real diamonds in her ears, so we're letting her think that because she thinks she's hot shit and it's adorable. 

I signed the littles up for summer school, so we walk there and back each day. Because of the holiday, there is no summer school this whole week, but honestly... I'm not sure if I'm even going to muster the energy to go back next week. They don't seem to be die hard about going and it's basically a glorified childcare thing, so it seems dumb. I remember when Olivia and Jackson were in elementary school, there used to be fun stuff happening in summer school. They went on field trips, had zoo animals come to school, had fun games and craft things going on, etc. and none of that happens anymore. It's kind of lame. 

We've only had like three days warm enough to swim in the pool, so that stinks. Honestly I hope we have an outrageous string of hot days so the kids get use out of it otherwise I'll feel like we spent all that money filling it up for nothing. This is also the year that Lucy can touch the bottom and I don't know why, but that made me super sad when she told me. 

We've also been going to the library like twice a week. We are flying through books in this house. Penelope finished all of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books and is now onto Dog Man, which she thinks are hilarious. Olivia read Stephen King's Insomnia, which is like 800 pages or something, in a day and a half. I can't really complain though, because at least I have a couple of kids who really like reading. 

Lucy turns six on August 1, and she asks me how many days is it at least three times every day. Needless to say, she is ridiculously excited about it. I'm working my way down into the depressive slump I find myself in every year right around then. It's hard to know if my low mood is because of stuff going on or just my body's response to our trauma anniversary. I do know that I am getting so weary. I haven't felt like this in a couple of years, but once again, I find myself at the point where I don't know why the hell I'm hanging on so hard. I finally told Matt about a week ago that if my health doesn't improve, and this is just how it's going to be, I really can't do it. I cannot do it for the rest of my life, and that's just a truth I think we all know but havne't acknowledged yet. I feel like I've done all of the things, I've seen all of the people, I have checked everything off on every list I've been given and still.... I feel no better and seem to just steadily get worse. I just don't have it in me to do this forever. It's just depressing. 

In the meantime though, summer marches on. I just keep going through every day but there is never a time where I don't just feel completely exhausted. 

Summer winding down with or without us

The worst part of summer is watching the end come so quickly. I feel like it flew by this year, and that we hardly did anything, and that's definitely our fault. We just let work and other things get ahead of us doing fun things. I've been trying to squeeze the last bit of fun into this last two weeks as I can. I know that fall, winter, and spring doesn't really get packed with fun things, not to say we're sitting at home bored though. We always seem to be on the go, but it isn't the kind of go you look forward to doing, you know? It's just stuff you do, places you're kind of obligated to be.  

Already our calendar is filling up with dance, swim lessons, driver's ed, band performances, school commitments, doctor appointments, etc, but not much room for fun. Summer has always been our fun season, so the fact we haven't done a whole lot of fun is really bumming me out. Next year? Next year I'm planning fun all over the place. Just you wait. 

The week we came back from Iowa we still had a couple of days to put some fun into, so we decided to go to the Como Zoo in St. Paul, MN. It's a free zoo, we like to go at least once during the summer and we haven't gone since 2019 because of the pandemic. You have to make reservations though so it's a bit harder to plan since we're a solid 2.5 hours away, so it isn't like we can go on a whim- it's a whole day of planning. 

I'm so glad we did it though because we had a great day. I'll be honest, the zoo isn't as nice as we remember it, and it is probably because of the pandemic. Lack of visitors = lack of donations = not as many funds for aesthetic upkeep. The animals all look well and cared for, I will say that. The other bummer? No Como Town (a small amusement park area), no animal shows (the little girls were hoping to see the seals), and of course we go on a day it's tremendously warm so the majority of animals were hanging lazily in the shade. 

Lucy was living her best life though because during our entire trip to Iowa, all Lucy wanted was a giraffe. I have no idea where the love of giraffes has come from, but it's intense and no matter where we went, she asked about a giraffe. Of course, we couldn't find a giraffe anywhere, including the zoo we went to in Iowa! One of the first areas of Como Zoo that we went into opens back up to the outdoors and there's a small gift area with, bum bum bum..... a GIRAFFE. Matt beelined it to the store, purchased a giraffe, and that my friends, is the face of a very happy girl. 

Penelope really liked this gorilla. She was pretty interested in his feet and how similar (but also different) they were to hers and she kept hoping he'd wake up and interact, but he was far more interested in his nap and honestly, I was wishing I could take a nap, myself. 

After the zoo we went to an outlet shopping center called Albertville, spent the rest of the money we had on school clothes for four kids (that isn't cheap and that outlet mall is far bigger than it looked from the road). I was exhausted by the time we were done but I managed to rally so we could go to a weird space/alien restaurant with a small arcade. The kids had a fun time, but Matt and I sat there like overtired vegetables. 

The next day we took a drive to Port Wing, Wisconsin, which is where Matt went to school. He showed the kids his old school (which was very tiny, especially considered the high school here or even just the middle school), we went to Twin Falls, and got back into the car. 

We ate lunch in Shell Lake, Wisconsin, and I managed to find a scrapbook store (I haven't been inside of an actual scrapbook store in 10 years!!) and I remembered how much I loved scrapbooking and how I really need to get back into it. Another summer bucket list item was a sunflower field. Last year was the year of dead sunflowers, so this year I told the kids I'll get it together for us to go when they are still alive. 

We barely made it but you know what? They were alive! We went to a different maze this year and it wasn't nearly as nice as last year's. At least last year there were props to take photos on and then a look out area... this place.... nothing. Literally nothing. Also, we were the only people there so it felt very horror movie-ish. The field was in Sarona, Wisconsin and if you have younger kids and need a five minute activity to stretch your legs? This is probably the stop for you. If you want more of a leisurely stroll with pretty views and fun photo areas? Go to the one we did last year for sure. I'd send us there again but then the flowers would for sure be dead. Maybe that should be our tradition. HA! 

I'm trying to decide if we do something this weekend or not, but I do have our corn maze/pumpkin patch weekend marked off already! It felt like fall the other day here and oy... I'm just not ready. 

The Strand Six: Iowa Vacation

I know I normally break our vacation wrap up posts with a couple so they aren't so long, but for the sake of time and the ridiculous list of things I have one week to get done... you're getting it all now. 

Before I go further though, everyone has asked us, "why Iowa?" and the simplest answer is..... we needed to cross it off our map. We have a goal of seeing as many states together as we can and we've done a bunch around MN/WI where we live, except Iowa. It's always the drive-through-it state but you guys- we need to collectively stop dissing Iowa. Iowa is fun and Iowa isn't getting the respect it deserves. 

We took off on Friday and I was so damn sick. No, I wasn't Covid sick, I was adrenaline crash sick. The night before was ROUGH and I won't get into that, but just know that as parents, Matt and I are dealing with a lot and it's a constant barrage of stuff and frankly, that Thursday was just really almost too much for me. Well, I guess it was because that Friday my body was like, "girl- you're done". I was on the verge of throwing up the entire day (and the next), I was in and out of consciousness, I felt like it took everything in me just to sit up straight in the car, my stomach hurt so bad and I had the worst headache. I was awful and I very much do not recommend going on a road trip in these conditions. Anyways. The show goes on, as they say. 

We stopped at Minnesota's Largest Candy Store in Jordan, Minnesota. If you've never been, it's worth the stop, the kids absolutely loved it. 

We then hauled it to Blue Earth, Minnesota to see the Jolly Green Giant Statue Park, and this was so pretty. Not only is this little town really pretty, but they have little Sprout statues all over and you can do a little scavenger hunt to find them all. I'm sad we didn't have enough time to do that. We had to hustle to get to Des Moines, Iowa because that was where we were exploring first. 

We ended up getting to our hotel late (for Pep and Lu) and our hotel was just the worst. It really was. It literally smelled like garlic bread and not even good garlic bread. Ugh. 

The next day we went to Blank Park Zoo, which was a really great little zoo. We saw a ton of animals, the zoo was incredibly well laid out and clean. It wasn't the biggest zoo we've gone to but it was worth our trip. 

After the zoo we decided to go on a train ride, mostly because Penelope asked for one. We drove to Boone & Scenic Valley Railroad & Museum because we had tickets for the Fraser Train. We got there a little early, so we explored the museum and got to climb onto a train. The museum isn't near as cool as the one we have local to us, but what they had was a little bit different so it wasn't a total waste. The train ride though? Beautiful. 

We went over a bridge and I'm not kidding, in the fall this would be STUNNING. The views are beautiful but I can say that is the highest up off the ground I've ever been while in a train!

For dinner, we took a chance on the Drake Diner (which Jackson later discovered was home to a couple of murders and I'm telling you, knowing that know makes me feel strange). The food was great and the decor/restaurant was beautiful. It's a cool little gem in the middle of a neighborhood. 

That's how we ended our first full day in Des Moines. We were exhausted but got to hear a dance party in the hotel parking lot for three hours in the middle of the night. Loved that. :/ 

The very next day we had to get up super early because we had tickets for the 9-12 slot at the Science Center of Iowa. This was a pick from the big kids because they really get into science things, but it turned out being a huge hit for all four kids. I can't hate that. Easily the best areas were the Build It area (you can make a building and see if it withstands an earthquake) and the area with circuits. Penelope really enjoyed circuits and making things turn on/off. 

We ended up getting through the entire science center in about two hours so we had some time to kill before we would need to eat lunch so..... we decided to check out a local bookstore! This is quickly becoming one of my favorite things to do in a new town, and this one did not disappoint. 

Storyhouse Bookpub was the cutest little shop I've been in. We spent quite a bit of time (and money) here and I just wanted to hang out all day. The owner and her employer were literally the sweetest people, and gave us a little scavenger hunt around this up and coming neighborhood. Unfortunately, it was a Sunday so lots of shops weren't open, but Penelope was determined! She had to find a specific book in each store and have her sheet marked off. She went right up to store employees to ask questions, get her sheet signed, etc. You have NO IDEA how proud she was to get her sticker at the end showing she's a super reader. For real, you guys- this store is amazing. 

Also? Iowa has these awesome murals all over and I could have spent entire days just looking for these. But I love this picture because it's everyone's personality and there's Pep with her scavenger hunt sheet! 

Also? I got so many pictures of our family, of Matt and I, the kids, etc. I really wanted this vacation to count. 

After wandering around, we had about an hour-ish drive to Columbus Junction to see the Swinging Bridge Park, home of the Lover's Leap Bridge. We found it easily enough, had some disagreements on how to get to the bridge, finally deciding to take this weird little path which wasn't a fun one to walk. 

We did get a view of the bridge and doesn't that look like a fun one? This one definitely counts as our adventure card of this trip. 

When I tell you this was a swinging bridge? I am not lying to you. This damn thing swung side to side but also up and down and was the scariest bridge I have ever been on. It didn't help that the people behind us started being complete assholes, knowing full well that we had four kids on this bridge. So that was fun. 

We saw this at the end. Fun. 

We were on the way to city #2, Dubuque. I need to pause though and tell you that Des Moines was maybe the prettiest city I've ever been in. Everything was so clean, everyone was so nice and helpful, I really was sad we had to go, but it made me excited for Dubuque. 

We only had one full day in Dubuque so I knew we had to make it count! I knew during my research of Dubuque that I wanted to find some of these murals and we only got photos of a couple but there were SO MANY. If you are traveling through Dubuque, I so highly recommend you drive around and find them. 

I mean, how bad ass is that? I wish more cities had things like that, tap into the artists of your city! 

First up for Dubuque was the National Mississippi River Museum and Aquarium. It's similar to the aquarium we have where we live (though that is solely focused on the Great Lakes), so I know going in that we would really love this and we did. 

We ended up getting there a little early, so we found a little walkway and decided to just watch the morning wake up over the water. It was really beautiful. 

The museum/aquarium was absolutely worth our time and money. We did everything this place had to offer and the kids were bummed by the time we were done. 

Afterwards we were going to get lunch, and I had found Shot Tower Inn online, and it was SO GOOD. It wasn't without drama though, I wanted to take the kids to take a picture of the mural and some guy, presumably picking up an employee from work, started screaming at me he was going to tow our vehicle away. I yelled at him for being an asshole and then, because I can be petty, proceeded to stand there within his view until the place opened for lunch (we had gotten there like 7 minutes early). We said something to our waitress, who made sure we weren't actually towed, and tipped her really well. She was the nicest and this place was pretty great. 

Next up? The Fenelon Place Elevator! I'm all about an inexpensive, quirky thing to do and for $4 a person, you too can ride on the world's shortest and steepest railroad! 

It goes incredibly slow, has a great view at the top, and the neighborhood at the bottom is full of fun little shops. 

We also found a Little Free Library! We didn't find anything for us that day, but it was cool to visit anyways. 

I inadvertently found a bookstore I had wanted to go to while in this neighborhood, too. When we road the elevator back up, we drove to the bottom and found some parking right out front and went in. 

River Lights Bookstore is beautiful. Again, Olivia and I bought a stack of books we don't need but you know.... buy local, am I right? 

We were going to try to go see some caves but in the end decided maybe the kids were wearing out. Our last stop for the whole trip was always meant to be Effigy Mounds National Monument. 

We literally had no idea what it was before we went and I'll be honest, we only saw three. The three at the start of the trail. 

This was something that Jackson had wanted to see and we realized it was one of the "special sights" places on our map that you cross off as you see, so it was a double bonus. What they don't tell you is the trail to see these? 

ALL UPHILL. 

Sure, there are two trails, a two-miler and a four-miler meant for a more "rugged" experience. The two-miler? Is not for out of shape folk. It's not for anyone with a bizarre leg malady we're still getting worked out, and it's not for a toddler who also seemingly has the same thing but the beginning stages. 

To sum it up? We made it .7 of a mile up the mountain before saying screw it and going back down. 

Looking at this it freaks me out because that is a straight down drop off behind Olivia and her legs kept giving out (it's a whole thing, we don't know what it is, we're in the middle of trying to figure it all out). Lucy had to be carried for awhile because her leg was giving out and she was in pain. Jackson had to hold me up. Only Penelope was ready to climb the mountain, and she let us all know repeatedly that SHE is just fine and SHE could do the whole thing, no problem. 

Penelope is not the motivational coach anyone needs. Unless being shamed by a six year old is what drives you, of course. 

We then drove like 5.5 hours home. It was late when we got home, the last two hours were ROUGH. The kids were all asleep, Matt and I had the music cranked so loud and nobody heard a thing. It was crazy. Was our summer vacation over? Nope! Tomorrow? We play local-ish tourists. 

For sure, the end of summer.

I felt like this was a pretty good weekend. We managed to actually get a lot done this weekend so it didn't feel wasted like the last few have felt like. We emptied out this giant shipping container we rented for storage (it was significantly cheaper than an actual storage space) so we can have that picked up and save ourselves $80/month. Now I have to go through it and decide, are we really going to save it or is it going to go? Fun stuff. 

We emptied and cleaned the pool out, that is all packed away until next summer. It's a bit depressing to see that out of the yard, that's for sure. I am searching for something I can put plants on that cats (hopefully) won't jump on and kill everything. We filled out every possible thing for all four kids for school and I feel like we are for real ready now. 

Plus, we did some fun stuff this weekend, too. 

First off, I wore makeup (kind of... barely... but still) both days so we had to commemorate it with a selfie. 

Matt took me to The Bookstore at Fitgers for Independent Bookstore Day 2.0. I didn't get any kid things because I really need to clean their shelves out before I add to it, but my haul was pretty great!

On Saturday we had a "party" for Olivia and her friend Claire's "Freakin' 15" birthday. They are a day apart, so it ended up being really fun. We did a painting party and I was really surprised at how well the kids kept their masks on and distanced from each other. It kind of gave me a little more hope for the school year being a little better. Plus it was nice to have all of the girls see each other again. 

On Sunday, I convinced Matt to drive us two hours to a sunflower field and that ended up being comically terrible, but I'm working on a piece about it for Duluth Moms Blog so stay tuned for that. Your teaser though is that this photo was the start. 

This was at the end. I feel like Lucy's face is all of us for 2020, to be honest. 

Yet again, we almost forgot to take a photo of us together. It should be noted that Matt is much taller than me but I am on my absolute tippy toes. He's a good seven inches taller than me, and while that's not more than a lot of people, it feels weird to me. I feel like I'm taller and then I see a photo and it's like, NOPE. I'm short. HAHA! 

OK, so this week I have some book reviews for you, I go to the eye doctor to check on my tear duct plug thingiemajiggies, and the kids start school. So, you know.... not stressful at all or anything. HA! 

The start of summer 2020

Honestly, it feels like it's been summer for months already, right? We've been home for so long we aren't even feeling that summer freedom this year. 

Since moving to the new house we've been slowly setting up fun stuff for the kids to do since we really can't go anywhere, and the stuff we'd like to do isn't even open yet. Every time I want to say screw it and book something, a rash of COVID-19 positive cases goes up and then I get nervous. I'm getting weary, folks. 

Anyways. 

Matt set up the pool for the kids. I'm just grateful our pool from last year has no holes from the move and works great because the chances of buying a new one this year is slim to none! 

The pool isn't very deep (like 30 inches, or 33 inches) so even the little girls can get in it and move around well above the water. Of course they can't go in it without someone watching them, but they are pretty good about it. We haven't had too many pool worthy days but they seem content to go out even on chilly days (to me). 

Poor Olivia hardly gets to play between Upward Bound and her job, but Jackson usually waits to go in until she can. Some days I can get him to go in early and the little girls love it. On that day the water was FREEZING and I don't know how any of them lasted as long as they did! 

I haven't done a medical update in awhile because its easier to add a lot of little things up for one post. For the last 8-9 months my hair has been falling out at an alarming rate. It isn't medication related, it isn't thyroid related, several doctors have checked various things, it's a mystery. (Honestly, I'd be more alarmed if someone had a reason for it, I'm just used to everything having no real reason.) To put it into perspective, I could only brush my hair (or wash it) (or touch it in general) once a week because it would just come out in huge clumps. My hair normally is extremely thick with a wave/curl to it and if I used a hair tie, I was lucky if I could get it wrapped twice without the tie snapping. By mid-June my hair tie felt loose with 4 wraps around. I would run my hand in my hair and have a baseball size clump. 

To be frank, if I had cancer and was on chemo, this is the point I'd consider shaving my head. 

I'm not on chemo so instead of shaving my head, I cut my hair. My hair was down to the middle of my back and I cut it to my chin. My hair is still falling out but not nearly as much so I'm hoping losing the weight of hair helps a little. I do miss my long hair though, and I decided I really don't like my hair this short. 

Oh! I forgot to share my June TBR stack! Not a very big one, but I was trying to be realistic. I have two of them done already (First & Then and Creole Kingpin), I'm working on Roomies, and then I'll squeak Haven in next week. Or maybe this week still, we'll see. 

Also, for those who asked if I was still doing the weight loss thing, I AM! I'm actually doing really well. I see that doctor again on Friday, and I'm excited to maybe get some official numbers! I've been having to go by my scale with I know is 4 pounds off but might be more, but at my last doctor appointment they told me I was 179, which is around 30 pounds less than where I was in December. I started around 212 pounds. I'm not doing anything more than curbing my diet and walking. Totally serious. I'm supposed to get 140 minutes of exercise in during the week and I've been diligently tracking how much I do. Most nights I walk with Matt and some days I get to walk with a friend, so its nice. 

For the rest of the week I have book reviews (Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday) and I hope to have some more photos for Thursday to share with you all. How is your summer starting? Do you have any plans?