Sunday, May 31, 2009

Such a Pretty Fat

No, it's not how I am describing myself (today at least), it's the new book I just finished reading. If you don't know who Jen Lancaster is, then you are totally living under a rock. Her and I have the EXACT SAME personality, which is a tad creepy. It also makes me feel more normal, which is always a welcomed thing.

Also in reading this book it has given me the motivation I really needed to get my ass moving. So this week I have really tried harder at exercising- I went to Curves once (I swear I'll go at least 3 times this week) but more notably, I walked for at least 30 minutes using my iPod. Good songs to listen to while walking- Xhibit, GUnit, The Living End, etc. Stuff that you shouldn't walk to- Jewel, Celine Dion and pretty much anything that is in regular rotation at a pop station. I really wanted to kill myself for the two blocks it took me to figure out how to rearrange my songs. And thanks to Matt for uploading 85 of my CD's for me. He only has like 600 to go. :) Then I'll really be cooking. AND, I even walked in the dark last night. For those of you who know me, that's huge because I am terrified of being outside in the dark. But it didn't matter, because I had 50 Cent and GUnit jazzing me up to pop a cap in someone's ass in case I needed to. I totally could have taken a mugger down last night should the occassion risen. Oh, and I tried running. I just want to apolgize right now for the people who live on the 53rd block of Banks Avenue- if you happen to be outside or looking out your window, it was my jiggling ass attempting to run. I made it a block before my calves felt like they would spontaneously combust. But hey, a block is better than nothing. Right??

So back to my original reason for blogging today- read the book. I laughed a LOT during this book so much so that Matt politely asked me to read in another room because my uncontrollable laughter was annoying to him. Ass. But it's totally worth it. And my new favorite line that I cannot wait to use- "I'm sorry, are you having a seizure? Because I know you didn't just roll your eyes at me." HAHAHA!!!! I feel like if I met Jen in real life, she and I would totally be new besties. Seriously. Watch out world.

OH!!!! And because her memoirs are so incredibly popular, one of my 30 things before I'm 30 is going to be- write a memoir. You so know you want to read about my insane life. Seriously. I have more hilarious things that happen to me in one week than would happen to a normal person in a year. It's kind of sad, but my life basically is a sitcom. I'm waiting for the day I walk out of my house to see the TV crew, can lights, and booms hanging over me. Just a matter of time I say. Hopefully they weren't filming my loser attempt at running....

Friday, May 29, 2009

Just Beachy/Men's Birthday

Here is another card I whipped up today- just because I loved the paper and figured I should use up some scraps to justify buying three packs of paper...

and here is the card I made for my monthly card group for our Men's Birthday challenge:

TPE Challenge!

I have been quite crafty today and here is my creation for the Pink Elephant Challenge which ends tomorrow (I'm a day early!!)

and if you just love this card so much and want to make it your very own, well all you have to do is buy it! My ETSY shop is open and over the next few weeks I will get more stuff added to it. :)

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Next Thing On My List- by Jill Smolinski

I finished another book today, in just under three hours. No kidding. I told you I am a speedy reader!! I read "The Next Thing On My List" by Jill Smolinski and I have to say- it is a terrific book. Absolutely a must read. It seemed kind of quirky and fun but I had no idea how thought provoking it would be. It is a story centered around June, who is stuck at a ho-hum job but doesn't really seem to be doing anything with her life. She's kind of a wall flower because of her doing nothingness. (This kind of resembles me lately). She unfortunately is involved in an accident that kills her passenger on the way home from a Weight Watchers meeting but discovers that the girl who was killed (who she barely knew) had a list called "20 things to do before I turn 25". So June, out of guilt, decides to take over and complete the list in her passenger's honor. So I really thought it'd be kind of a corny book but it really was very good. Lots of the things on the list were silly such as kiss a stranger, go on a blind date, go braless, etc. but some of them were more serious like change someones life. The book was actually super funny. I laughed A LOT and I don't know if the story itself was funny or if it was funny because June's luck mirrors my own. Everything that would happen to her would likely happen to me!! So if you are looking for a good book- this is one I would definitely suggest.

Wuthering Heights- done

Well I finally finished it. Please don't quiz me because to be honest- I have no real understanding of what I just read. Greatest love story ever? Not so much. But it is eerily similar to Twilight and New Moon- and I can see where the references came from. But Twilight and New Moon are so much better. I'm pretty sure everyone died. Now I'm off to start "The Next Thing on My List". Literally- that's the title of the book. I was going to start the Jane Austen collection, but I think I should move to something light hearted and easier to read so I don't give up on my summer reading list before June starts. HAHA!!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

What the hell- Emily Bronte?!

OK, so I'm reading Wuthering Heights. I'm trying really hard. The main problem being that it took me 4 hours to get to page 94 because I have no idea what the hell I'm reading. Here's a sample that literally- I gave up on:

"Nay, nay, he's noan at Gimmerton," said Joseph. "I's niver wonder but he's at t' bottom of a bog hoile. This visitation worn't for nowt, and I wod hev ye to look out, miss-yah muh be t' next. Thank Hivin for all! All warks togither for gooid to them as is chozzen, and picked out fro' th' rubbidge! Ya knaw whet t' Scripture ses."

And this was one of the easier ones because I could kind of sound it out and Matt was getting really frustrated trying to ignore me.

Seriously- does anyone know Yorkshire translation??? If it weren't such a damn classic and a supposed great love story- I'd throw this shit back into the library return box. I feel like such an illiterate dumb ass trying to read this. Have I past the love story part? I have no idea because I can't understand 90% of what I'm reading. Attempting to read this book alone makes me realize how crucial reading and writing is. Seriously- are there people who speak and write like this now?? This is horrible. Ugh. I'm totally rethinking my reading list. And the fact that I have a super tattered and worn copy of "The Complete Novels of Jane Austen" sitting underneath Wuthering Heights on my table doesn't help. It may take me all summer to finish this pile at this rate.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


Yes that's right folks, the city girl you all know and love is actually going to do an outdoors trip requiring physical activity. You can at least wait until I'm not here to snicker. I realize that kayaking involves a lot of paddling, but luckily we'll be in double kayaks, and Matt is fully aware that he'll be doing 90% of the paddling. :) Look who's snickering now!

Anyways- so we have the trip planned, have babysitters lined up for the kids which required more effort than I want to think about. We are going on this trip with two of our friends, Tammy and Chad. Tammy is afraid of water, but Chad is going to kayak with Matt and. The itinerary sounds fun, but grueling.

Experience sculpted cliffs and spectacular Lake Superior sea caves. Your day will begin with an orientation to kayaking skills, safety, and equipment. Our double kayaks will provide comfortable, stable vehicles with which you'll glide across the emerald waters surrounding the sea caves. The trip is 6.5 miles in length and includes a lunch stop on an isolated beach. Trips include equipment, guide, instruction and lunch. They depart daily and are arranged by reservation, Memorial Day through Labor Day. Participants must be 14 y/o or older.

I also noticed it also recommends "Prior Conditioning" such as sit ups, push ups, swimming, cycling, rowing, canoeing, etc to strengthen your upper body and whatnot. Guess what? I'm as limp as a noodle. The entire left side of my body has zippo strength and isn't even coordinated. I'm convinced the only reason I have a left arm or leg is that it's designed purely for decoration.
Matt and I are doing this on June 6 (a Saturday) and then spending the night in Ashland. Then on Sunday we're meeting up with Tammy & Chad to tour the Apostle Islands. (The kayaking & Apostle Islands stuff is in Bayfield, by the way). I'm looking forward to the tour because I've never gone on it and I have always wanted to see the Islands.
This trip is a mini vacation for just Matt and I for our anniversary, which is June 12. We've NEVER done anything on our anniversary and since this is our 5 year, we figured perhaps we should try to celebrate.
I'll update you on the trip and post pictures the following Monday, if I'm alive and able to use my hands/arms of course. If you don't hear from me, feel free to contact my mom if there's anything of mine you want. :) Jennie and Kelli get first dibs on my scrapbook stuff, though. HEHE!! But seriously, this week's agenda is to get myself the proper outer wear for the trip and to order my XShot so that I can take pictures of everything, including myself. Because if I'm going to enclose my ass into a little kayak, there will be pictures to prove this.