Sunday, May 31, 2009

Such a Pretty Fat

No, it's not how I am describing myself (today at least), it's the new book I just finished reading. If you don't know who Jen Lancaster is, then you are totally living under a rock. Her and I have the EXACT SAME personality, which is a tad creepy. It also makes me feel more normal, which is always a welcomed thing.

Also in reading this book it has given me the motivation I really needed to get my ass moving. So this week I have really tried harder at exercising- I went to Curves once (I swear I'll go at least 3 times this week) but more notably, I walked for at least 30 minutes using my iPod. Good songs to listen to while walking- Xhibit, GUnit, The Living End, etc. Stuff that you shouldn't walk to- Jewel, Celine Dion and pretty much anything that is in regular rotation at a pop station. I really wanted to kill myself for the two blocks it took me to figure out how to rearrange my songs. And thanks to Matt for uploading 85 of my CD's for me. He only has like 600 to go. :) Then I'll really be cooking. AND, I even walked in the dark last night. For those of you who know me, that's huge because I am terrified of being outside in the dark. But it didn't matter, because I had 50 Cent and GUnit jazzing me up to pop a cap in someone's ass in case I needed to. I totally could have taken a mugger down last night should the occassion risen. Oh, and I tried running. I just want to apolgize right now for the people who live on the 53rd block of Banks Avenue- if you happen to be outside or looking out your window, it was my jiggling ass attempting to run. I made it a block before my calves felt like they would spontaneously combust. But hey, a block is better than nothing. Right??

So back to my original reason for blogging today- read the book. I laughed a LOT during this book so much so that Matt politely asked me to read in another room because my uncontrollable laughter was annoying to him. Ass. But it's totally worth it. And my new favorite line that I cannot wait to use- "I'm sorry, are you having a seizure? Because I know you didn't just roll your eyes at me." HAHAHA!!!! I feel like if I met Jen in real life, she and I would totally be new besties. Seriously. Watch out world.

OH!!!! And because her memoirs are so incredibly popular, one of my 30 things before I'm 30 is going to be- write a memoir. You so know you want to read about my insane life. Seriously. I have more hilarious things that happen to me in one week than would happen to a normal person in a year. It's kind of sad, but my life basically is a sitcom. I'm waiting for the day I walk out of my house to see the TV crew, can lights, and booms hanging over me. Just a matter of time I say. Hopefully they weren't filming my loser attempt at running....

Friday, May 29, 2009

Just Beachy/Men's Birthday

Here is another card I whipped up today- just because I loved the paper and figured I should use up some scraps to justify buying three packs of paper...

and here is the card I made for my monthly card group for our Men's Birthday challenge:

TPE Challenge!

I have been quite crafty today and here is my creation for the Pink Elephant Challenge which ends tomorrow (I'm a day early!!)

and if you just love this card so much and want to make it your very own, well all you have to do is buy it! My ETSY shop is open and over the next few weeks I will get more stuff added to it. :)

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Next Thing On My List- by Jill Smolinski

I finished another book today, in just under three hours. No kidding. I told you I am a speedy reader!! I read "The Next Thing On My List" by Jill Smolinski and I have to say- it is a terrific book. Absolutely a must read. It seemed kind of quirky and fun but I had no idea how thought provoking it would be. It is a story centered around June, who is stuck at a ho-hum job but doesn't really seem to be doing anything with her life. She's kind of a wall flower because of her doing nothingness. (This kind of resembles me lately). She unfortunately is involved in an accident that kills her passenger on the way home from a Weight Watchers meeting but discovers that the girl who was killed (who she barely knew) had a list called "20 things to do before I turn 25". So June, out of guilt, decides to take over and complete the list in her passenger's honor. So I really thought it'd be kind of a corny book but it really was very good. Lots of the things on the list were silly such as kiss a stranger, go on a blind date, go braless, etc. but some of them were more serious like change someones life. The book was actually super funny. I laughed A LOT and I don't know if the story itself was funny or if it was funny because June's luck mirrors my own. Everything that would happen to her would likely happen to me!! So if you are looking for a good book- this is one I would definitely suggest.

Wuthering Heights- done

Well I finally finished it. Please don't quiz me because to be honest- I have no real understanding of what I just read. Greatest love story ever? Not so much. But it is eerily similar to Twilight and New Moon- and I can see where the references came from. But Twilight and New Moon are so much better. I'm pretty sure everyone died. Now I'm off to start "The Next Thing on My List". Literally- that's the title of the book. I was going to start the Jane Austen collection, but I think I should move to something light hearted and easier to read so I don't give up on my summer reading list before June starts. HAHA!!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Updated Kid Pictures

I figured since my kids are still being incredibly cute, I'd post some recent pictures of them for those of you who are keeping tabs on their cuteness. :)
Olivia & Mommy
Jackson in his summer gear. LOVE the sandals! :)
Chef Olivia and her Sous Chef Old Lady Bear

Jackson enjoying his Elmo Cherry Applesauce

Olivia enjoying her Push Up

Jackson eating dandelions again- and guess what? When you eat dandelions- they come out whole in your poop. Lovely find at 5 a.m.
So there are the most recent of my kiddos! Aren't they totally adorable? :) The last picture of Jackson is really great- because he looks EXACTLY like my brother. I just think it's so cute. At least if he follows Travis's footsteps, he'll be a lot taller than me, muscular, and very handsome. We may have a problem with the girls coming over! And how beautiful is Olivia? She is going to be just gorgeous when she gets older. And smart as a whip. She is super sassy, which can really get to you after awhile, but my mom says she's just like me. Which is great for her, because I'm perfect so that'll work out. :P

Saturday, May 23, 2009

What the hell- Emily Bronte?!

OK, so I'm reading Wuthering Heights. I'm trying really hard. The main problem being that it took me 4 hours to get to page 94 because I have no idea what the hell I'm reading. Here's a sample that literally- I gave up on:

"Nay, nay, he's noan at Gimmerton," said Joseph. "I's niver wonder but he's at t' bottom of a bog hoile. This visitation worn't for nowt, and I wod hev ye to look out, miss-yah muh be t' next. Thank Hivin for all! All warks togither for gooid to them as is chozzen, and picked out fro' th' rubbidge! Ya knaw whet t' Scripture ses."

And this was one of the easier ones because I could kind of sound it out and Matt was getting really frustrated trying to ignore me.

Seriously- does anyone know Yorkshire translation??? If it weren't such a damn classic and a supposed great love story- I'd throw this shit back into the library return box. I feel like such an illiterate dumb ass trying to read this. Have I past the love story part? I have no idea because I can't understand 90% of what I'm reading. Attempting to read this book alone makes me realize how crucial reading and writing is. Seriously- are there people who speak and write like this now?? This is horrible. Ugh. I'm totally rethinking my reading list. And the fact that I have a super tattered and worn copy of "The Complete Novels of Jane Austen" sitting underneath Wuthering Heights on my table doesn't help. It may take me all summer to finish this pile at this rate.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Poop Update, Summer Reading List- In Progress

I have gotten quite a few emails about the progress of poop in our house. Again, not something I thought would be a popular topic but thank you, adoring crowd for caring about Olivia's poop. I'm sure she'd appreciate it if she knew I was even talking about it to other people. We'll save the humilation for now.

But so far so good. She went for the two week follow up and yes- she just has severe constipation. And guess what? She never cleared out. No folks, my kid is still plugged up with poop. Of course she is. Why not? So we continue with the Mirilax but on the bright side- she's had three, yes three poops that did not explode out of her butt. I'm going to be cautiously optimistic and say "Yay" because that apparently is good news. Explosions are bad. And not just because I have to clean it up- which by the way- if you are looking for stock options I'd choose the companies that make Shout! Stain Remover, and Lysol Toilet Cleaners and other disinfectants. I've been buying it like mad. If those went up in value, it's solely because of our house. I'm averaging a bottle of stain remover a week at this point, and then about two bottles of the toilet cleaners a week and about 4 of the disinfectants over about a week in a half. No joke. My house is so clean and germ free at this point I'd consider having a dinner party on the floor. With food sitting on the toilet. So what are YOU doing this weekend? Stop over if you are hungry. :)

And for those of you who don't know, I have been bitten by the reading bug AGAIN. Except instead of a mild irritation and light scratching, it's full blown disease. Sorry. So I am compiling a list of books I want to read this summer. I'm going to get all smart and smarmy I just know it. I can feel my little brain cells twitching with excitement. Here's the partial list so far:

Wuthering Heights
East of Eden-John Steinbeck
The Story of Edgar Sawtelle- David Wroblewski
Beautiful Lies- Lisa Unger
The Sound & The Fury- William Faulkner
Love In the Time of Cholera- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
The Next Thing On My List- Jill Smolinski
Pride & Prejudice- Jane Austen

I know, right? This is all I could cram on my little 3x3 post it note. I have a whole sheet at home. now had I gone to a 4 year college I'm sure I would have had to read most of these for a literature class or something, but then I don't know if I would have liked them. I am about 60% done with reading True Betrayals by Nora Roberts, and earlier this week I finished Death Angel by Linda Howard. Do you have any good books for me to read? Post a comment and I'll add to my list! I really prefer mystery/romance, but at this point I'm open.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Super Fun Contest

OK- so to all of my bloggie friends out there- I am going to tell you about a fabulous contest going on RIGHT NOW over at The Treadler she does such great work with wool creations that you should check out the blog anyway to see what you wish you could do! Anywho, Teresa is holding a contest for you to have your very own wool finger puppet, your alter ego if you will. All you have to do is leave a comment on her blog with a description of the general appearence and personality of your puppet and she will choose a winner! That winner will receive their finger puppet so you can play with it in private or public. It's really up to you. But you should maybe not talk to it in public. People may get the wrong idea. Not that I would. Just sayin.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


Yes that's right folks, the city girl you all know and love is actually going to do an outdoors trip requiring physical activity. You can at least wait until I'm not here to snicker. I realize that kayaking involves a lot of paddling, but luckily we'll be in double kayaks, and Matt is fully aware that he'll be doing 90% of the paddling. :) Look who's snickering now!

Anyways- so we have the trip planned, have babysitters lined up for the kids which required more effort than I want to think about. We are going on this trip with two of our friends, Tammy and Chad. Tammy is afraid of water, but Chad is going to kayak with Matt and. The itinerary sounds fun, but grueling.

Experience sculpted cliffs and spectacular Lake Superior sea caves. Your day will begin with an orientation to kayaking skills, safety, and equipment. Our double kayaks will provide comfortable, stable vehicles with which you'll glide across the emerald waters surrounding the sea caves. The trip is 6.5 miles in length and includes a lunch stop on an isolated beach. Trips include equipment, guide, instruction and lunch. They depart daily and are arranged by reservation, Memorial Day through Labor Day. Participants must be 14 y/o or older.

I also noticed it also recommends "Prior Conditioning" such as sit ups, push ups, swimming, cycling, rowing, canoeing, etc to strengthen your upper body and whatnot. Guess what? I'm as limp as a noodle. The entire left side of my body has zippo strength and isn't even coordinated. I'm convinced the only reason I have a left arm or leg is that it's designed purely for decoration.
Matt and I are doing this on June 6 (a Saturday) and then spending the night in Ashland. Then on Sunday we're meeting up with Tammy & Chad to tour the Apostle Islands. (The kayaking & Apostle Islands stuff is in Bayfield, by the way). I'm looking forward to the tour because I've never gone on it and I have always wanted to see the Islands.
This trip is a mini vacation for just Matt and I for our anniversary, which is June 12. We've NEVER done anything on our anniversary and since this is our 5 year, we figured perhaps we should try to celebrate.
I'll update you on the trip and post pictures the following Monday, if I'm alive and able to use my hands/arms of course. If you don't hear from me, feel free to contact my mom if there's anything of mine you want. :) Jennie and Kelli get first dibs on my scrapbook stuff, though. HEHE!! But seriously, this week's agenda is to get myself the proper outer wear for the trip and to order my XShot so that I can take pictures of everything, including myself. Because if I'm going to enclose my ass into a little kayak, there will be pictures to prove this.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Dear David

Dear Uncle David,
I know that you can't read this, but if you were to be able to, these are the things I wish I could have told you before you left us.

I am sorry that I didn't write to you every day like I promised I would. I was only 9 at the time, and didn't realize how hard that would be. I want you to know that even though I didn't write every day, I missed you every day. I am sorry that I didn't come to see you when you were dying. I know you would have wanted me to spend my money on college rather than coming down. I kind of glad I didn't because I want to keep the picture I have of you in my head. I want to remember you with your flannel shirt and jeans, even when it was too damn hot to be wearing them! I didn't want it to be replaced with death. I want you to know that I love you. I always have and I always will.

I am sorry that you didn't get to see me get married. You were missed that day and the milestones that have passed since then make us miss you more. That hole can never be replaced. I am sorry that you will never meet my children. Mom says Jackson is a combination of you and Danny.

I want you to know that I remember playing with you when I was little. Travis misses you terribly too. We're sad that we never got to see you as we grew up but know that you understand. We remember playing at your house when you lived down the street, and Travis vividly remembers you and Danny tossing him like a ball. :) Danny took Matt & I to see your tree (it's huge and beautiful now) when we came down for our honeymoon. I remember talking to you on the phone once and you laughed because you said I lost my southern accent and sound like a valley girl. I try to incorporate my "yall" into conversations just for you. :) I didn't forget where I came from- it's always with me.

I want you to know my mom misses you every day. It's easier now, but she still isn't the same. A little piece of her left when you left. It makes me sad because I know there isn't anything I can do for her and I wish I could. We know that you watch out for us and we're thankful for that. I know she feels guilty and feels that she could have done more to help you. I wish there was some way that you could reassure her that she was a great sister to you.

Oh David, nothing is the same. We aren't a complete family without you. We are so sad you've left us, but we know you are in a much better place. I hope you're there holding the door open for us when we see you next. Watch out for us until then, and know that no matter how much time passes until then, we love you and we miss you terribly. It's been a long seven years without you.

Love, Sara

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Poop Weary

Well I'm sick of poop. I am actually sick of anything remotely related to poop, which includes laundry. I can't tell you how much laundry I have done since Poop Watch 09 ended and Poop Fest 09 started on Sunday. Poor Olivia- I really do feel bad for her and I have refrained from taking pictures of this horrible (and probably traumatizing) event in her life that is constant pooping. She has gone from being so full of poop that it was all stuck, nothing moving, to being basically a poop faucet. Just imagine the fun I had. I know, you're jealous. I knew you would be, which is why I hesitated posting. I apologize that you can't live vicariously through the pictures that could have been, but I figured I'd like a relationship with my daughter when she is older that is more than a"I'm nice to my mom because she's my mom but I hate her for documenting every horrible moment of my childhood" type relationship.

But it's really been bad. We had to put her back in pull up's after hearing her beg to not be a baby again. She also told me several times that she feels dirty (I'd agree- she kind of smelled bad, too) and that the pull up's were giving her a wedgie. Not much I can do there, kid. I only gave her the pull up's after it very clear that she had no warning and no control over the poop, and I had washed all 27 pairs of her panties and gone through two entire bottles of Shout stain remover. Oh- let's not mention the 27 times I cleaned the toilet and everything around it because of leakage. Not that you care to know that.

So now we're on this routine for awhile yet. We have to wait until she is entirely cleaned out (could take weeks) before we can ween her off the laxatives she's on. Yikes. Never in my life did I think I'd be cleaning this much poop- really, that was nowhere in the "Congratulations, you're pregnant" bag you get at the doctor. I'm sure of it. It should be. Nobody should go into parenthood without some basic medical training, at least.