Sunday, September 27, 2009

Book Reviews: Burn (by Linda Howard), The Girl She Used To Be (by David Cristofano), If I Stay (Gayle Forman)

I have read so many books lately, but here are three that stand out:

Burn: Linda Howard

You know I love me some romance novel, yo and Linda Howard always delivers for me. She really is one of my favorite romance novelists and not only because the stories are always so hokey, but because the men described are usually what I'd like in a guy. Nevermind my husband is not like any of her characters- which let's be real, is probably why I read these. :) But Burn is a really fun, quick read. Is the story plausible? No- but who gives a damn when you get kidnapped by a hot guy who you end up having great sex with and he falls in love with you? Oh yeah- very cool. Plus, anytime Linda write about Black Ops/Secret Agents- I'm there. Secretly- I'd like to think I'd like that kind of job being all secretive. :)

The Girl She Used To Be: David Cristofano

I have to be honest with you here. I cried on this one. I usually don't read the backs of books to see what they are about, as I've mentioned several times I judge books by covers. I totally do. I don't have a lot of time to read, so if the cover can't catch me it's screwed. So this cover kind of reminded me of myself- staring down at my options, figuring out what to do. Coincidentally- the book really isn't about that, it's about a woman who has lived most of her life in Witness Protection and tries to get out of it, but then the book takes a turn into a love story. A sad, but really endearing love story. I'd like to think there would be a part 2 of this where the characters get together..but I suspect David will keep me waiting. I wish he wouldn't be such a bastard and just write a sequel though! :)

If I Stay: Gayle Forman

Some are asking, "jeez Sara, if you judge books by covers- why did you pick this one?" Because I really like the color blue, bitches. Don't get all technical on me.

This book is a "Young Adult" book which means nothing because it is FANTASTIC and you MUST read this. I don't get all strong willed about a book, ok- that's a lie, I feel the same way about this book (which if you haven't read it yet- I'm disappointed in you). But this book is about a young girl, on the brink of so many great opportunities in her life who's family is taken away from her. She's in an accident and basically has to decide whether to fight for her life and live, or give up and die- in order to be with her family who've already died. Talk about heart wrenching. You are right there with her, weighing the pros/cons and thinking about what would you do. The amazing thing is that I got this book done in THREE HOURS. I could not stop reading. I started at bedtime just to get a few pages in and literally could not stop. Needless to say I looked terrible at work the next day- but it was totally worth it.

My favorite parts of the book are when the nurses are talking to her remaining friends and extended family and keep reiterating that it's up to her. They can only do so much as medical staff- but it's up to her to decide. Most heart wrenching moment that made me burst into tears and wake up my husband? When her Grandfather talks to her (she's not awake, she's in a coma) and basically says he'd like for her to stay, but understands if she needs to go, thus giving her the permission she needs. OH.MY.GOD. Cry like a mother fucking baby. And I agree, I think people do decide when to go. At least I would like to think I have some control over it. :)

These are GREAT reads and I highly recommend them!

Get Sketchy Wit It- You Know You Want It

It's that time of week again- (you'll notice I said 'week', not 'month') it's time for the Get Sketchy Challenge! Yes- I did it again. The threat of winning free stamps is what sent me over the edge. It's like, "Alright already...I'll make something. Put the stamps in an envelope and stop waving them at me."

So drumroll folks...

I found some pearlized cardstock at Michaels...on clearance folks. Yes, clearance. What would have been $19.99 for the pack only cost me...(wait for it...wait for it....) $3. I know- bow down you jealous bitches. I am 99% sure this was a fuck up made by a newbie overly zealous with the sticker gun (and really? I think we've all been there with our label makers so let's know jeer this person too much.) But I also go the cardstock on clearance so yeah- this is like a ghetto fabulous card. And we all know I'm all about ghetto fabulous. ;)
Anyways- so there it is. Let's hope I win. I'm also not above "we feel sorry for her" winnings- I'm all for those. :)
AND, because I know you love the card so very much...I know you want to buy it. Along with it's 5 siblings. That's righty-o folks, I made not one, but TWO sets of 6 of these because I was really on a roll last night. So if you want to purchase these- head over to my Etsy shop to do that. And support my children. They'd like a Christmas this year I'm sure and I'm not sure if saying Santa was affected by the recession will work. :)

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Toe In A Hole

Fell into a hole that has been next to my front step for about a year. Matt promises to fill the hole with dirt everytime I or one of the kids falls because we're idiots and apparently can't remember there's a hole there. Well, I fell. Again. Tonight- while putting a Halloween sign in my yard. Yeah- pretty sure my right big toe is broken. Again. AND, I ripped my pants. Mother fuckers. The sign looks nice though.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Thank you, Thank you- You're Far Too Kind

What are you people going to do once I get all Diva on your asses? Nothing different, I hope! Yeah- yet again, I'm a winner, a cool kid, a fantastic role model. My blog buddy, Sourav has presented me with this award. And because you love me, surely you should check out his blog: And Sourav- I'm glad you like my blog. I like it too. It's a fabulous place to vent about my kids, my in-laws, my husband who tears stuff up (and cat), my likely unhealthy obsession with Robert Pattinson, poop, and more poop.

Thank you, my fans, my probably not mentally stable stalkers. Even if you are bat shit crazy, I love you anyways. :) The crazier the better I say!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Dear Jennifer/Blog Contest- WINNER/New Header

So I had some really fun pictures to post on how I drew the winner. Actually, my daughter Olivia drew the winner, but Jackson ate the piece of paper, so through process of elimination, I had to figure out who no longer had a piece of paper. I'm sure if I waited a few days it'd come out in a diaper, but nobody really wants to see that, right? No, I don't either. Anywho- I accidentally deleted all of the pics off my camera. I pushed a new button when I thought, "Hey- I wonder what this does.." Yeah- well it deletes your memory card. What kind of fucking moron thought THAT would be a useful feature? Should be shot.

So the winner..without any delay is...


OK- so that's even more funny that it was her paper that go eaten and is in the process of turning into poop. (Cross it off your list, Jera!)

So the book that I am almost done reading is "The Motel Life". It's kind of sad, but interesting. I think the good parts are coming up shortly- so I will finish that baby up tonight so I can mail it Tuesday. So email me at with you mailing address so I can get those goodies out to you.

And stay tuned...because those who are aren't total losers. I am going to give away ANOTHER book from my fabulous freebie present. Once I finish reading it, of course. :)

For those of you who are awesome, you may notice that I have a new header. Because I am not in any way talented enough to do this on my own- (and let's face it...I can't even change my damn background without losing all my widgets), I had someone do it. OK, so that's not really what happened. I was actually a loser on Nikolett's blog: Better Than Coffee. And because I was a loser, she made me and a few others winners. I think she actually felt sorry for us, but I am not about to pass up free awesomeness yo. So THANK YOU Nikolett- you did an amazing job with very little imput from me because yeah, you rawk like that. AND...because you are awesome, and I don't feel sorry for me with YOUR mailing address and I'll mail you some goodies! :)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

You Like Me! You REALLY Like Me!

I'm a winner, bitches!! That's right- I go a Kreativ Blogger award from Holly over at Her Southern Heart! Thank you! :)

Now there are *rules* (yawn..eye roll..huffing noises...) and I could ignore them and totally hog it for myself. I could. I want to. I might yet...

OK, stop your jeering and gasping. I'll share. Because I'm a giver like that!

The rules:

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4. Name 7 things about yourself that people might not know.
5. Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6. Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they have been nominated.

7 things you may not know about me:
1. I was born in Florida and act like a Floridian even though I've lived in Minnesota/Wisconsin for oh...almost 20 years. :)
2. I sleep in just a tshirt. No matter the season.
3. I like to eat pretzel rods. Just for the salt. I could literally lick the salt of and throw the pretzel part away.
4. I don't drink coffee or any other warm drink. Need caffeine? I turn to you, Pepsi.
5. I still have my beloved Furfy (a Smurfette) who when I'm really sick or upset, I hold when I sleep.
6. I rub my feet together in order to get to sleep. Matt hates it and it drives him insane. I also sleep with two pillows under my head, one between my legs, one on both sides of me. No reason- just like it.
7. I am the PICKIEST eater you will every know. Examples of things I don't eat: anything orange, vegetables (except iceberg lettuce, cucumbers, and corn niblets), fruit (except red seedless grapes), anything with a white sauce, condiments (except ketchup), soups, pie (pumpkin pie is edible..if I'm really hungry and have no other option), potatoes, stuffing, ham, onions, mushrooms, most cheeses, anything Chinese or foreign, things I can't pronounce, just to name a few. Is this driving you mad? Are you curious about a food? Leave me a comment and I'll let you know. People, for whatever reason, find the fact I eat hardly anything fascinating.

Passing the award on to 7 Kreativ Bloggers:
1. Finny @ Finnyknits
2. Jera @ Jerasphere
3. Nikki @ WhimSylove
4. Teresa @ The Treadler
5. Charmed @ Charmed and Dangerous
6. Sourav @ love with me and life
7. Sony @ Why Are Girls So..

(Disclaimer: the listing is in no way an indication on my opinion or amount of love for each blog. I love them all, among many others! But please do visit them because I said so. And you will love it. You will love them all. Or else. I'm not sure just yet what the or else is, but it'll be bad. It may involve public humiliation).

Monday, September 14, 2009

Get Sketchy #5

Yay! I actually remembered to get my sketch done for this weekend. (golf claps, yo)

I am totally loving this card. As soon as I did I'm like, "Holy shit, Sara. It's actually super cute". GO FREAKING ME. :) Paper, Ink, and Stamp= Stampin Up, the rest is just scraps laying on my desk. Simple and cute. :) Like me. Go figure.

Friday, September 11, 2009

The 30/30 List- FINAL VERSION

Ok, I know that I have promised this for awhile. It has taken me a LONG time to think of 30 things that I can do before I'm 30 (March 10, 2012) that is within my budget and reasonable. My life's bucket list is obviously much larger, but I need to have something to ease me into the transition to 30. (*hold me*)

So here it is:
1. Go kayaking- DONE
2. Go parachuting
3. Go on a sailboat ride
4. Write a book-- in progress
5. Take the kids to Disney World-- scheduled for October
6. Try snorkeling again- try not to drown
7. Learn how to play one song on a piano
8. Take a road trip with friends
9. Go to Las Vegas with Matt
10. Run a 5K-- I'm training. Kind of.
11. Learn how to knit something
12. Attend my 10 year High School reunion (note to self, renew anxiety meds. LOL!)
13. See 10 concerts before I’m 30-- one in September (Kings of Leon) * Paramore in October
14. Go on a helicopter ride
15. Dye my hair
16. Trip to another country (Canada counts)
17. Lose at least 15 pounds
18. Go camping. Outside. In a tent.
19. Visit the Grand Canyon
20. Wear a bikini (preferably after losing the weight) (note to self: being drunk may help)
21. Read 500 books before I’m 30
22. Create a family tree book for the kids
23. See the Northern Lights
24. Go tubing and/or canoeing
25. Take kids to the Wisconsin Dells--tentatively scheduled for summer 2010
26. Hike through the sea caves in the winter
27. Road trip weekend with Matt to anywhere
28. See a waterfall I’ve never seen before
29. Try skiing
30. Be happy

I hope I can do these. I know I can- I am just really lazy. So I will periodically keep updating you on this. Feel free to cheer or jeer. I will post pictures of each thing I finish as proof. :)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

It's on like Mother Fucking Donkey Kong Jera!

So because I tagged my new bloggie buddy Jerasphere like last weekend, in retaliation, I have been tagged back. Fine- bring it on.

How bad are you?

Have you ever stolen?: Yes, I vividly remember stealing like Easter Candy and getting my ass beat. And then my dog bit my dad.

Have you ever cheated on a test?: Oh yeah. I think that's basically how I got through Geometry.

Cheated with someone else?: No, I have never cheated on anyone, but I have been cheated on.

How often do you use four letter words?: Too fucking much according to the family. But fuck them bitches.

How often do you drive above the speed limit?: UM, it's a mother fucking miracle I haven't gotten a speeding ticket. 35 mph= at least 50 mph. I take pride in getting to far away destinations in remarkable time. Ashland in under an hour? EASY. I got pulled over like two weeks ago on my way to excuse? I had my period and need to get to the store for supplies. I got a warning. :)

Have you committed vandalism?: I like to call it "Neighborhood Revitalization". Yes- my friend Allena and I vandalized the park by my mom's house- which is where my kids play. AND, ever park visit I get to see the "S.K. loves T.R. " And the bonus? T.R= Tony Rusk, who lives behind me, with his wife and two kids, and is still hot.
Ran from the police?: Yes, a few times. But my problem? I usually laugh hysterically when I run, which makes me super easy to find.

Skipped class?: No, but I tried. I faked a note to get out of class my senior year- and totally fucking spelled my name wrong. Yeah- luckily, my mom didn't beat my ass but she did suggest that I learn how to spell my name since I was a senior and all.

Run over an animal?: No, I'm the idiot who swerves for squirrels.

Watched pornography?: Yes, and ironically- wish I could convince my husband to watch with me more often.

Made a prank phone call?: Yes- love doing that. I could have been on the original Crank Callers. Most memorable call? Calling Bergstrom Gifts asking if they sold scandinavian vibrators. :)

OK Jera- I think that's all of them. :) Now, I'm giving you (and everybody else) an open invitation to ask me whatever. Happy blogging!

Blog Candy Happening

Think you can be a winner? Well I'm already a winner - I think we all know that - but maybe you can be a winner! Here are some contests that are happening!

A Walk On The Mild Side has some Halloween goodies up for grabs..

Laurel's Place has stamping goodies..

and last, but mostly certainly not least- a new lamb has joined our flock- Charmed, of Charmed and Dangerous is hosting a giveaway as well!

And I have goodies- book goodies, so if you're interested in being a winner- this should keep you busy. :)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Labor Day Weekend Recap

OK, so this post is really picture heavy at the end, so enjoy those. But first, let's recap the weekend. It wasn't great (anyone surpised??).

So the party on Saturday was really fun. Olivia had a fabulous time, got great gifts, I enjoyed schmoozing with people and Matt was practically throwing a tantrum when I told him to run after Jackson who started running down the alley. Yah- because I'm a bitch for making him round up our 17 month old while I did the games. Obviously, being a responsible parent is so pase.

After the party, I decided that I had NO energy to really clean, so I left it for Sunday. Sunday I got up, did the dishes, put stuff away, moved other stuff around to avoid putting it away, packed all of us up to go to the Twin Cities for the night and Monday. Supposed to be going for a family gathering that night, family reunion on Monday. Super. So we hit the road at noon. And guess what? NON STOP CRYING from not one, but TWO kids the entire way down. BUT, we did see a lot of corn and soy bean plants. AND, I got to see a wind turbine up and actually working, AND I got to see one of those super huge crop watering things that like spin around or whatever. I consider myself educated now.

So we get to Northfield, check into the hotel room, which is yah- a dump. I should have taken a picture of the breakfast area, because that was so lame I couldn't believe it. It had horrible colored couches (oh, I'm sorry, it was just one that appeared to have some stains on the seat). The floor probably hasn't been cleaned in weeks. The breakfast eating area consisted of two really crappy fold up tables, no chairs. Our room was a handicapped one which was great because you could actually get dressed in the bathroom, but the carpet in the main room was damp. No, I take that back- it was wet. (Lisa- flashbacks of our hotel room in Burnsville from our famous nightmare ValleyFair trip came to me...). We first called Matt's parents who have conveniently turned the cell phones off. Matt's sister informs us she has no idea what's going on, has not heard from them either. This is around 3.

At 5, we decide that fuck it, we're hungry- we're going to Perkins yall. We had the RUDEST super pregnant waitress ever. Like she literally slammed our plates down, and my coke, which splashed all over my food. And left. Yah- no tip for you bitch. We finished our food, went back to the hotel. It is now 6pm.

Called the phones again- no answer. SO, we decide to go swimming. I literally shoved all my excess loveliness into my swimsuit and gently remind myself I either need to starve myself for the Florida trip or hope to God there is a store down there with better swimsuits because this one? Not comfortable and not cute. We get down to the pool (picture below) and yah- fucking disgusting. (Again, Lisa- flashbacks to Burnsville...) the water was freezing, which you know- I can deal with. The sanitariness of the pool is something all together different. Now, if it were just Matt and I- we'd not risk our health by getting in. But the kids were SO excited, talked about this for days, and I figured that their feet would not touch the ground so we'll wing it. But let me tell you something- when you get into a hotel pool and instantly think "yeah, this feels like an unkept lake" that is not good. It was gross. I almost puked because as I actually got in, the bottom was slimy, and um...chunky? Yah- chunky is the best way I could describe it. My foot slipped a few times pushing Jackson around in his tube thing, and when I bumped the side of the pool helping Olivia try to swim, I had stuff on my arm. When we got out, my feet were greenish. Like disgusting. You better believe I made us all get in the shower- I scrubbed my kids until they were red, and then rubbed Germ X all over them. I sat in that shower for a good 30 minutes- washed my hair 4 times, and it still felt disgusting and straw like.

So this is now 7:30. No call- no word from Matt's parents. At this point, to say that I'm pissed is really toning it down. I was going to go balls out if they called because how freaking rude to basically demand us to come down, and then not tell us what's going on. So we try to get the kids to bed. Olivia and I share a bed, Matt and Jackson in the other. You'll not be surprised to hear that neither kid fell asleep until 12:30 a.m. Jackson finally fell asleep around 2, only to be woken up by Matt's snoring (with the rest of us) at 3. Jackson climbed into my bed, and fell asleep with his ass in the air, head in my armpit...drooling. THAT is a gross feeling.

We are awakened at 7 am by Matt's mom demanding we meet them in one hour because they are pissed that we didn't do the family gathering the night before. Really? How can we do something that we know NOTHING about?? Matt tells her one hour is not going to happen since we need to wake up, get dressed, eat, and pack yet. Finally, after two phone calls and not so nice words, we decide that we will meet them at Matt's aunt/uncle's house to get a freezer. Very nice to get a freezer, we have no problem hauling it back, but really? Do I want junk that other people picked over already? And can I just say- HOW FUCKING RUDE IS IT to pick over someone's stuff who isn't dead yet? That is cold. I don't care who you are or why you think you should/can do this- cold and rude. And I'm sorry- but grandkids should get last pick, all of the children should get first pick (and this should be done together) and then grandkids get what's left...when the person dies. Anyways.

So we do that, go to Como Zoo. Nobody is really there yet so we let the kids play for a bit. We decide since we have to leave at 1, that we are going to take the kids over to see the animals. Well guess what? It's really busy on a holiday weekend, so it took us longer to get to everything. We realize at noon that the kids are hungry and hot, so we decide to eat in the zoo cafe because Olivia needed to get out of the sun because of her antibiotics (another story) and Jackson was looking a little flushed. AC was what they needed. We decide to go back to the picnic grounds after lunch to sit and chat with people. Now, let me just enter here that I know that the majority (not all, but most) of Matt's family does not care for me- his mother being the worst of the bunch. And I don't know why, but whatever- I don't really care. I'm not changing who I am for them. I happen to like me, and so do a lot of other people. BUT, his mom was so rude to me I couldn't believe it. Matt's brother's girlfriend came, and I really like her. She's normal, seems fun, and my kids adore her. But as soon as she came, Matt and I were blatantly ignored. So we left. I figured that if nobody wants to socialize with us, fine. I don't feel like it should always be us coming down to see them. I get that Matt's parents always did that for whatever reason, but it isn't fair. Of all of the people down south, Matt and I are the least financially able to travel. To travel to Minneapolis/St. Paul for us is a lot. PLUS, Matt works a lot. More than most people realize, so taking a weekend off means that we are losing at least $300 plus whatever it costs us to go down. So that sucks. I just don't think I ever got a fair shake with most of them (and again, I say most, because I genuinely like some of Matt's cousins/spouses and I really wish that we had a relationship) but Matt's mom has never really cared for me and I think that's part of the problem. Nope- I'm not a church goer, and Nope- I have strong opinions/views, but you know what? I am respectful when I'm with them. I don't think I've ever done anything that made them think, "Holy shit- where did she come from?". Maybe I have, but yeah- resonable people have the balls to say something.

Anyways- so yeah- the trip back was slightly better, but we had a rough bedtime routine, Matt and I didn't get to bed until 2:30 Tuesday morning because we had to clean up and unpack, and get ready to go to work on Tuesday. Matt had to be at work at 4:45 am, so he got no sleep. I was up at 5:30 to get ready for work- so yeah, hardly anything for me. Another shitty weekend down the tubes. BUT- here are some pictures!

Jackson on a leash!

Me and my 4 year old baby (*tear!!!*)

CORN! Finny- I saw a ton of corn, and I totally thought of you. Someday, this could be you!

How gross is this pool? Seriously?

Jackson and Olivia totally ready to go back to the room.

*finally* I got to see a wind turbine assembled and working!

SCARIEST thing to see on your GPS. Guess how many times Matt looped around?

Olivia is smiling but don't be fooled- gripping my thigh so hard I had finger marks.

Jackson apparently doesn't like carousels or the circular motion.

initially clapping when the lions woke up..

,,,after seeing the lions hit the glass- he was scared.

Olivia and Jackson sitting on the turtle- Jackson thought it was going to move.

Jackson pooping...working hard.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Happy Friday...and Labor Day Weekend

Hey yall! OK, so this weekend I am up to my eyeballs in non stop things going on. Here's what is on the menu:

Saturday: Olivia's birthday party (my baby is turning 4....I'll probably cry. No, I will most definitely cry.) (and her actual birthday is on Sunday so yah...will probably cry then too) And once again, I am not at all ready for her party which has now been switched to my house (long story) and so I am in the throes of major cleaning. Ugh. I have this weird compulsion to just clean until my fingers are raw if I know people are coming and I have to make sure my house looks and smells good. Which is why I'm going out to buy new pillows for the couch. yah- because these ones aren't as nice anymore and yah- I'm a freak. What can I say. This also means I'll be a cooking fool tonight getting food ready so I don't have to do it tomorrow.

Sunday: Clean up from the party (because you KNOW that I'm not cleaning after) and then I have to pack for all 4 of us to drive down to Minneapolis/St. Paul. Despite suggestions from Matt's family- we are leaving after lunch so the kids can sleep in the car because I refuse to deal with crabbiness from two kids while down there. They don't do well in new places and since we'll be sleeping in a hotel, I want to tire their asses out so I don't have to hear them complain about not having their own beds. Plus, not looking forward to sharing a bed with Olivia because she rolls around (a lot) and I usually get kicked in the head repeatedly.

Monday: No work, yay!! BUT, we're going to Como Zoo in St. Paul, visiting with Matt's family and again, leaving around nap time so we can get home at a decent time. BECAUSE, I have to work on Tuesday, so I have to clean, do laundry, cook, and make lunches for Tuesday and I would like to get some sleep at a decent hour because I know damn well I'll get very little on Sunday night.

Things I would like to happen:
  • I would like Matt to come home with a pleasant attitude. If I have to deal with him being an asshole for one more weekend- blood will be shed.
  • I would really like if (please, please, please) Olivia continue on her accident-free streak because I REALLY am sick of cleaning out underwear she has pissed and shit in. She's 4...I am out of patience.
  • If Lenny could just go ahead and stop puking everywhere and then eating random things, that would be swell. Because I just cleaned the mother fucking floors and I am not doing it again. Guests be damned.
  • If it rains tomorrow and I have to have 20+ people in my house- I. WILL. LOSE. IT.
  • I have to go to Walmart today which means I'm hob-nobbing with the white trash, no jobs/living on public assistance for no real reason aside from laziness, obnoxious folk that live in this dump of a town. Ugh. I'm dreading it. You know what? Fuck it- I'm going to Target. At least there it's clean and I don't have to worry about my shoes sticking to the floor and wondering what the fuck is sticky on the floor. Gross.

OH!!! In what is being labeled as a bitch slap in the face from Mother Nature, the leaves on trees are already turning here. I know- it's like really? Are you that fucking hateful of summer that you must bring on fall and then winter immediately?? Anyways. SO, since I know a lot of people live in areas that don't have the freakish weather we do, thus resulting in colored leaves- if you want must email me at: . I will collect leaves when we go to Gooseberry Falls next weekend (a little trip Matt knows nothing about and he won't until last minute so I don't have to hear his complaining for a week). I do this for other people so if you want leaves- let me know. I'll mail them to you all flat and in wax paper and you can either tell people you have a fantastic blog buddy or flat out lie and say you went to Minnesota/Wisconsin to get them yourself. Your call. I won't judge you.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

1-10 Tag (thanks, Sourav!)

Well my buddy Sourav has tagged me and because I am a good friend, I am going to participate. :)

1. I only have 1 personality (funny/crazy/sometimes sane)
2. I have 2 awesome kids (Olivia, 4 and Jackson, 17 months)
3. I have owned 3 vehicles in my life (88 Ford Taurus, 98 Chevy Lumina, and 07 Ford Freestar)
4. Jackson's birthday is the 4th of April
5. I remember having 5 pets as a kid (Charlie the cat, Odie the cat, Willie the dog, Blue the cat, and Lenny the cat)
6. Olivia's birthday is the 6th of September
7.I am reading book 7 in the Sookie Stackhouse series (I LOVE hot vampires. A weakness of mine)
8. I am in my 8th year at my current job...still loving it. (most days...i mostly love my red swingline stapler. ) :)
9. I usually go to bed around 9 (if I'm really doing well!)
10. My birthday is the 10th of March

OK- so I have to tag people...oy. I'll tag the following: Nikki, Jerasphere, Ann, Theresa, Jen, Sara, Finny, Elena, and man- I think I'm stopping at 8. :) And don't feel obligated...but I did since I do like Sourav I will play along. Check out his blog- it's very interesting. :)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Let's Educate Ourselves/Dear Drivers

I'm all for learning something new every day:

(this photo was jacked from

Dear Drivers:
On my daily commute to work each day I struggle with road rage. I struggle because you, the assclown who is driving 27 mph in a 35mph area where everyone else is doing at least 45mph. Do you realize that by being under the posted speed limit, and dangerously under the rest of us that you are a road hazard?

I am also asking that those of you driving semi-trucks or other vehicles that can't "go" at a green light to please get in the lane farthest to the right? Yah- because you are in my way and I am likely late for work. And really? You being slow prevents me from stopping to get my daily orange juice and jumbo chocolate chip muffin and NOBODY will want to deal with me if I don't get my breakfast. Because I am chunky and hungry.

If you are one of those drivers that drive with your music super loud with the windows down- mor power to you, I do it myself. BUT, if you are going to do that, at least have some mother fucking cred and listen to something cool. Michael Bolton blasting out? Not so cool. That makes you a loser. Instead, when you see me pull up in my mom-mobile minivan, shut your shit off so you don't interrupt my music. Because really? Xhibit trumps Bolton. Period. In the words of Snoop Dogg, "Bitch please, you must have a mental disease".

And green lights? Green means go. The gas pedal is on the right please just use it. Um, thanks.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Get Sketchy #3/Thank You Ann

So this is a two fold post because both go together even though it happened to be a coincidence.

#1. In this post I mentioned that I was officially a winner. Ann from Creative Antics had a blog giveaway happening and I managed to win. Because yah- I'm cool like that. So I got my prize (which was a mystery until I got it) just the other day:

#2. And as you'll notice from Ann's blog she makes awesome cards. Like the rest of us pale in comparison because she is so awesome. So I decided that I would make cards, using the supplies she so graciously mailed me. Please turn your head to the left to see these properly.

Um, Blogger? If you could just stop fucking with my pictures..that'd be great. THANKS.

#3. So then I see on her blog that she's a guest designer for Get Sketchy, and somehow I know I knew this but I tend to surpress things that I can't use day to day. Because really? There's only so much room. So the sketch this week is:

Um I inadvertently did the sketch (without even knowing what it was), using the supplies Ann gave me, who just happens to be on the design team for the sketch challenge.

DIVINE INTERVENTION I tell you. If I don't win or at least get top 5 this week- I may lose my shit. You can't tempt fate folks. :)

And in a very sad turn of events, my cat Lenny ate my "You Rock My World" stamp and later puked it up on the kitchen floor. So I am mourning the loss of my cool new stamp that I only got to use two times (inside of each of the cards I made), but happy he puked on the kitchen floor instead of the carpet. Again.