My Biggest Fear and... Book Review: THE LOVELY BONES by Alice Sebold

This is going to be an easy post because hello---it will all come into a nice little circle. If I had blog bows I'd put one on.


So today I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself that is kind of personal and not a lot of people actually know about me. (Sara loves her lamb whores--- sparkly kisses to you!)


I, even at the age of 27 almost 28, am scared of the dark. Not all dark, like I can sleep in the dark just fine with no worries unless I have to get out of bed or something. You'll never see me take out the garbage in the dark. You'll never see me walking alone in the dark. I'll be outside in the dark if I have at least one person with me but I prefer more. I won't walk around my house in the dark. I'm terrified of scary movies. I believe in ghosts but they scare me. I'm scared to be in crowds by myself.


I also have a gut instinct that has never been wrong. I have the little hairs on the back of my neck and I always trust it.


There are lots of reasons I am like this but primarily it's from my early childhood. Without going into a lot of detail that I don't like to talk about, I will say that I have seen things little kids shouldn't see. I have lived in not so great neighborhoods. I was raised in the early 80's in Florida which is when a lot of kidnappers were just snatching kids so I grew up with a mom who was scared of that. And I'm actually thankful she was like that because I believe it gave me an intuition a lot of people don't have.


But I will tell you my biggest fear of all: To be abducted. I am terrified that I will be abducted, kidnapped, murdered, etc. You name it and I'm scared of it in that scenario. I can't even tell you how many times I have woken up at night by a dream of this happening to me.


So to that end, I decided to read a book that NOBODY with these kind of fears has any kind of business to read.

For those of you who don't know- this book is narrated by the main character really, Susie Salmon who was a 14 year old girl who was raped and murdered close to her home. Her entire body is never found, only an elbow, and it's the story of her watching her friends and family go on as she's in her Heaven.

There are a few things that freaked me out. Number one was her murder. It's gruesome and I am not going to lie- I couldn't sleep after I read it. I laid in bed with my light on. Number two is how it really highlights how everyone copes differently but because of that, the family falls apart. Number three is her description of Heaven. It's not this vast white space, it's whatever she wants it to be- she decides who/what is in her Heaven. Number four is the character I identified with even though I didn't want to. The mother. I really felt a connection to the mother who isn't even that great. She leaves her family because she really can't handle any of it. And as a young mom myself, I can really relate to the "I made a mistake and I want to start over" sentiment. Not that I would ever leave my children, but I can certainly understand that feeling.

I have to say that the book was kind of slow and frustrating to me. I really wanted legal justice, and although something happens to the killer that was probably a good ending just the same- I felt a sense of remorse for the other victims. The only think I thought was kind of far fetched is also at the end when Susie is in a living person's body. I don't know. I just felt like that wasn't really needed but on the other hand it gave a closure to the characters involved there.

In all, it was a good book. It was hard to continue reading in some spots because it was slow but it was interesting. Will I see the movie? Oh hell the fuck no. I'd be up in there crying and terrified to leave. :)

Kings of Leon- one word, AMAZING

Hey yall- for those of you living in the dark, (or not on my Facebook) you maybe had no idea what a huge Kings of Leon fan I am. :) And if you aren't- I feel sorry for you. Amazing band, amazing talent, and pure love of music sums up this band.

Me and my friends, all mothers in need of a night away from home, decided we'd do a concert. And because we all work and the concert was almost 3 hours away we had to really make a day/evening/early morning of the next day of it. :) We left Superior aroudn 2:30 and after MANY stops because everyone else has bladders the side of plum we got to Minneapolis around 5:30. We ate dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe and one word for that= disappointing. Tammy and I ordered this chicken with a spicy version of macaroni & cheese. Mine was shitty as hell, too spicy, and even though my chicken tasted terrific, about an hour into the concert I knew something wasn't quite right. And by this I mean I started feeling dizzy, weak, having cold sweats and the urge to vomit was pretty bad. Thankfully, everyone in the row below us was drunk so had I puked, I doubt they would have known. :)

The opening band was White Lies, who hailing from London, England must be new. That, or I don't get out much which let's be honest- could be a toss up. They were OK. Not great, not bad. I think they are new to the American music scene which I think is intimidating for any new band. They didn't connect with the crowd and I'm sure it's because hardly anyone was in there. But I would definitely check out their record because what I did hear was pretty good.

Kings of Leon. *Swoon*. OK, so these guys aren't what you'd call the pretty boy group. They are not super hot, but they are like the attainable boy next door working a shitty job hot. I dig that. But it must be said that they put on a GREAT show and I would no doubt see them anytime I can. They rocked out with their cocks out, despite being sick (Caleb told the audience they’ve all got a touch of something and you could hear him sniffle between songs), and you could tell that they not only love playing love, but they love their music and the fans who so appreciate it.

They rocked one song after the other, transitions were great, good crowd interaction, and they did one encore with 4 songs. The other amazing thing that I absolutely love is when you go to a concert and everyone, especially those around you, know every word to every song. Those are true fans and should be the only ones allowed in a concert. :) And let me tell you- when "Sex On Fire" and "Use Somebody" came on- every person in the Target Center sang along, danced and genuinely was relishing in the moment. Amazing concert, amazing band.

I totally loved the blue. I am 99% sure this was during "OnCall"

I totally thought the black/white images of them playing was a cool contrast.

You can't see the stage good here, but they had these horizontal screens with images throughout the show. Very cool.


Caleb. :)

We had GREAT seats...AND I got to watch drunk chicks get hauled off. :)

The opening band, White Lies.


Who are those hot chicks? It's Tammy and Sara! We had a drunk guy (??) below us who thought we were the "hottest bitches here" and thank you- person we aren't sure if you are a guy or chick. The boobs threw us off.

My beloved VANS. Best concert shoes ever. Slip resistant to beer, good bottoms to ensure you won't fall when climbing over chairs...makes me yearn for my blue/black VANS from my outdoor festival days..


So we left the Target Center a little after midnight. Things I learned on the drive home:

1. I'm not a rock star anymore. Driving home at night is HARD.

2. If I didn't have my best girls with me, I would have been bored as hell.

3. Tobies in Hinckley still has awesome fucking baked goods.

4. I have the best friends ever.

I really think we need to plan another concert extravaganza. We could be the concert club. :) It was a great night out, and despite getting home at 2:30 a.m. (seriously girls...we are a bit old for this, eh??) it was so fun. Would do it again in a heartbeat. If KOL comes anywhere near here again...I am so there. :)

Book Review: VOX by Nicholson Baker

Before I even start this review I am putting up a disclaimer. If you are a virgin, please don't read this. If you are offended by profane language- do not read this. If dirty, filthy, sexually explicit language is offensive to you, do not read this.

If you continue to read this and STILL are so offended that you feel the need to email me a complaint- please expect a nasty answer back. You cannot say I didn't warn you. ;)

So I should start this review by telling you I read this book for the first time when I was 16. And let me tell you something- I was a virgin, I didn't even have my first (real) boyfriend then and it scared the shit out of me. Eleven years later it's amazing. It's not scary, it's actually a really fun read.

Basically it's a single conversation between two complete strangers. Both strangers call the 1-900 number you see in the back of dirty magazines. (One called it from the back of a Juggs magazine, the other one Forum) And it's really interesting because they hook up and talk about a lot of random things. Sexual fantasies, things that are turn on/off's all the while they are some times masturbating. I mean, I don't think I can fully review this book to give it the justice. Instead, I'm going to type you a passage. To set it up, Abby talks of a dream/series of images she had about painting the hallway of her apartment at color called paper lantern. This is only an excerpt but to leave you on a pleasant note....

"And so three painters materialized, and then suddenly there was a large hole in teh wall, about three feet off the floor, big enough so that I could fit through so that my legs were standing in the front hall and yet my head and upper body were in the living room. The hole was finished off and lined with sheepskin. I had nothing on. My hands were resting on two full paint cans. But the strange thing was the cans of paint were warm. There was one painter doing the living room, and the other two doing the hall, where my lower body was. The painter I could see didn't seem to notice me..." and it continues for a while until...

"And then I heard him put down the roller and he planted his hands high on my ass, holding my hips, and then he did an amazing thing. I felt his whole weight go on his hands, and on my back too, and he was apparently supporting himself like a gymnast, entirely on his hands, with his knees bent and his legs apart, and then a secon dlater I felt this burning blunt nub press against my Opulent Opal tockhole, and then kind of urge itself a little ways in."

Um, yeah. There's more. Like two more pages of just THAT little scene which involves something (there were three painters) in each of her um..holes. Three painters, 3 holes. Use your imagination.

SO..if you like a good dirty read- this is for you. If you aren't seeing any action in your bedroom, this is a good read. If you get grossed out and think you are corrupting yourself if you feel a little tingle down below this book is definitely not for you. ;)

Book Review- SOMETIMES MINE by Martha Moody

Hey yall- so it looks like Sunday is my book review day, doesn't it? Well I finished this one on Thursday but I'm going to post it today because I can do that. I rule this roost, yall.

Now this book was recommended by someone's online books-to-read list and I can't remember who's so if it is one of my faithful followers, thank you.

I will admit I had a hard time getting into this book because of a few reasons. Number one, I was determined not to like the main character, Genie Toledo who is a cardiologist who has been the once a week mistress to Mick Crabbe, a married man with children who is a college basketball coach. Number two, I really don't like sports (ok...I'll admit to liking hockey, I like watching Olympics, will watch wrestling occassionally, but that's it. But I would like to go to a real football game some day. But that's it). It's not the sports themselves I think is lame, but the whole thing about people going nuts about it. Like really? A ball in a hoop is your goal in life? That's what you aspire to be? It's just a fucking game, people.

Anyhoodle.

But once I looked passed these things I really liked the book. Genie and Mick's relationship was kind of endearing. You were rooting for them even though you know it would never happen. Mick loved his wife out of loyalty but it wasn't fulfilling to him. Genie loved Mick and having the once a week committment was enough for her. She rearranged her entire life to fit their Thursday evening together. And I don't think either of them understood how they truly felt about each other until Mick was diagnosed with prostate cancer and essentially chose his team over his health. Some people might think that was selfish but I also wonder if taking treatment is selfish. Who's to say you should have any more time on Earth? Maybe it's your time to go. I don't know- that's a hard question to answer. And certainly nobody really knows what they'd do until they were faced with that.

I liked the book because I could really see each main character's point of view. Genie- wanting the companionship of Mick but not everything that a relationship requires. Mick- loyal to his marriage and thinking of his wife and somehow doing right by not divorcing her, but having Genie on the side who gets him. His Thursdays with Genie is maybe how he gets through the rest of the week. And even Mick's wife, Karn, is angry (certainly) but understands that she could never provide Mick with everything he needed as a man.

So really, it almost reminded me of how some people have open marriages, where they are married and have their relationship but also have a person on the side. Now obviously studies show that isn't maybe healthy and doesn't usually work long term, but maybe it does. It begs to ask the question- is it possible to be married, and satisfied in all areas, forever. I don't know. It's hard to say. But in the end, this book was really good. I really enjoyed it and would definitely recommend it to anyone. Book clubs could really go into great discussions about it.

Get Sketchy #24

Again...I'm early. I should start posting last minute so I don't get a complex here. ;)

So this week's sketch was easy, I thought. But instead of doing like two strips of paper..I'm doing two ribbons. Because I'm a rebel. (Rebel=Fabulous....FYI)

And ew...I made a sympathy card. Because I never have any. And everytime I don't have one, someone up and dies thus requiring me to either buy a card (which is the equivalent of cutting my foot off) or coming up with something lame and spur of the moment. And everybody's third aunt's cousin's friend of a friend deserves better than that. But..I've triple matted the tree, added two ribbons (the LAST of my navy blue ribbon...must.make.list.for.michaels) and at the last minute added the blue rhinestones. Thus guarantees me the most fabulous looking card in the sympathy box. ;)