Sunday, July 31, 2011

2 kids + a motorcycle

I bet you were hoping for a Vegas post, weren't you? Well don't you fret your balls because I have plenty of Vegas pictures and stories coming your way this week. But I forgot about these pictures and wanted to share.

Because I'm a giver like that.

Anyways. So my kids (mostly Jackson) love to play on my dad's motorcycle. And it's a shame my dad isn't home to ride it more often, but when he is home he usually goes out for awhile. And I know Jackson is itching to go with him but he's just not big enough. So instead, they play on it.

 Olivia prefers the helmet.
 While Jackson prefers the goggles.
 And we have to keep taking turns who gets to be in the front.
 Jackson tried the helmet, but he doesn't like things clasped under his chin so he quickly gave up.
 The kids absolutely adore my dad. They call him Pa Jay and even though he isn't home a lot, they talk almost every day on the phone and ask him where he is that day since he's a truck driver. Then they get out the map and try to find what state he's in.
And of course my kids are absolute goof balls. But adorable. Which thank goodness because I'm convinced their adorableness (especially Jackson's) saves them often.

I'm skipping Weight loss Check In Monday tomorrow since *obviously* I did nothing while on vacation except walking the Vegas strip. But tomorrow I'll start posting about my trip. ;)

Thursday, July 28, 2011

It's a special day....

... because my baby brudder is officially 27! YAY!

I have to tell you that my brother is awesome. He's a million shades of hilarious, I adore him to bits even though he did body slam me on a coffee table once (ok... a few times), and he's a great guy. If I called him right now and told him to bail me out of jail, he would do it without asking any questions. He might look like hell and obviously rolled out of bed doing it, but he would absolutely show up.

We're besties for life. (Folks- this will be the only time I'll flash boob for you. FYI)
 And I've always been the boss of him. Which was easy when we were younger and I was bigger than him. Look at me schooling my infant brother on how to play toys. I look like I'm yelling at him. Me- age 2 1/2 and Travis was 6 months old.
 But clearly karma really is a bitch because he's much taller than me and could absolutely beat me up.
Travis has seriously been my pillar through some of the worst times of my life. When I was at my lowest low, Travis was the only one who maybe thought I was crazy and stupid but never said it to my face. He just supported me and for that I will always love him to bits. I love that we have all kinds of awesome stories our parents don't know about. I love I can hang out with him and know I'm going to laugh my ass off. I love how he pays to get my friends drunk. I love how good of a sport he is with just about anything. I love how great he is to my kids. I love how he will make a complete ass out of himself and get stuck in a little kids coin operated ride at the mall just because he can. I love how he is a complete smart ass and can always find a way to piss someone off just by walking into a place. I love him. He's the bestest brother in the whole wide world. And I'm the bestest sister ever. You want to know why? Because I give the best gifts.

Behold, the most amazing treasure that came out of my mother in law's attic that Kate tried to sell at the yard sale that I immediately knew belonged in my brother's bachelor pad he shares with his friend Phil. I just really hope they let a girl shower at their house before doing the walk of shame so this is the last thing she sees:
 It's a great way to start your day, homies.
 Look- you have options. I'm sad I couldn't get the man head one.
Look how happy that guy is! Come on! I only want my brother to be happy.

And of course, you know I can't stop at just that. Oh no. Oh hell fucking no. One thing I know about my brother? He loves gummy bears. More than he loves cheese puffs. So when I was watching TV in the middle of the night and saw this commercial? I knew I had to buy it.

Yeah. It really is the greatest flipping gift ever. It really is fucking huge. And heavy. It was also $42 after shipping so by fucking god- I bought his groceries for the week. So there you have it. Don't you wish I was your sister? Yeah. You bet you do.

So happy birthday, Travis. You are awesome, I love you to the moon and back, I'm mom's favorite, and I'm glad you have dental insurance.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Weightloss Monday Check... on vacation (and WINNER)

Oh bitches you KNOW I wasn't going to be exercising on vacation. Although I did for a brief moment think maybe I should bring my running gear but then realized it was the humidity getting to me. Thankfully, I'm back to my senses.


So instead of exercising and preparing my very first 5K which is on August 6, which is what I absolutely shoudl be doing, I'll be here.
 And hopefully swimming here.
I'll have a few posts ready to go for this week but I'll definitely have all kinds of Vegas stuff to talk about and pictures to share for you when I get back and organized. Until then.. ciao lambwhores!

(Oh wait... I bet you want to know who won the Centuries of June book giveaway don't you? Well using random number thingie, it was #3. Which is... DANIELLE! I have your email so I will contact you. YAY!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Domestic Bitch Saturday! (The pre vacation edition)

As you can imagine, most of my week consisted of getting ready to go on vacation, pay bills, freak out when I realize how much was really on our credit card that I had to pay off so we could (hopefully) eat in Vegas, clean, and then of course.. spend way too much time on Pinterest.

And because I kind of chumped out on you yesterday, I felt like I should at least continue on with Domestic Bitch. So let's start with some freebies:

Huggies Diapers
Carefree Liners
SnackChicks Chickpeas

So.. there wasn't a whole bunch of awesome freebies this week. And I had gotten a bunch of free cereal samples in the mail that I decided I didn't want, so I ended up giving them to the food shelter in my food donation bag. So if you are able, I suggest requesting samples you think you can donate to other organizations or people.

I also didn't try any new recipes this week because this was our ghetto meal week. Next week I'll be able to tell you (hopefully) about awesome stuff I got to eat in Vegas. Which might be just a fancy chicken strip because I have the palate of a toddler.

But I *did* do a cool project. And this is kind of idiot proof! All you need is an empty Nesquick container (I used the smaller sized one), some matching paper and some do-da's. Oh, and some adhesive obviously. Now, I recommend finding stuff that match the obscene yellow color, but you do what you want.
Measure the height of your container, cut your piece of paper. Put a whole ton of adhesive on that bitch, and then stick it to your container.
 Add your do-da's wherever you want. I decorated my lid too but that involved a lot of tracing and then some free hand oval cutting.
I actually made two of these since I had two containers and enough stuff to make two. So one of these I'll put some treats into for a teacher's gift for Olivia's Kindergarten teacher.  The other... well that is in my Etsy shop if you're too lazy to make one but want to look like a super put together mom everyone envies. Oh yes, that can be you for the low price of $10 (plus shipping). Wow. I sound almost like an infomercial. YAY.

So that was my week. If you haven't started couponing yet, I suggest you look at the Couponing 101 site tonight, specifically the drug store coupon match up posts. I only have a Walgreens near me, but there are a LOT of freebies to be had this week at drug stores, and they'll help you get those freebies (or at least really reduced prices on stuff). Even if you walk out with one freebie, you'll get a little high. Who knew you could get high from free toothpaste?

Friday, July 22, 2011

Centuries of June + GIVEAWAY

*I know it's a Dear Sara Friday, but I'm skipping it so I could get last minute stuff for my vacation... deal with it lovers*

Centuries of June- Keith Donohue
Centuries of June: A Novel
Set in the bathroom of an old house just before dawn on a night in June, Centuries of June is a black comedy about a man who is attempting to tell the story of how he ended up on the floor with a hole in his head. But he keeps getting interrupted by a series of suspects—eight women lying in the bedroom just down the hall. Each woman tells a story drawn from five centuries of American myth and legend in a wild medley of styles and voices.

Centuries of June is a romp through history, a madcap murder mystery, an existential ghost story, and a stunning tour de force at once ingenious, sexy, inspiring, and ultimately deeply moving.

First off, I want to say I think this book hits almost every book genre within it's pages. You've got mystery, you've got sci-fi/fantasy, you have romance, historical, etc. It hits them all in a really interestingly told story that bops between characters. The characters being the man who starts the book on the floor with a hole in his head, and then all of these women. Each character has a very different voice because they are from different centuries but are all inexplicably tied to this man.

Very entertaining, very interesting, extremely well written.

You know I never ask you to rely on just my thoughts, but I encourage you to see what other tour bloggers are saying about this book HERE. You can visit Keith's website, Facebook, or Twitter as well!

And guess what? I have one copy to giveaway! YAY! Leave a comment with your email on this post and I will draw a winner (US/Canada only) on Sunday!

Happy reading!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

(Winner) and Random Awesomeness.

I forgot to draw the winner of the Shut Your Eyes Tight book giveaway. I did the random number thing and out of 13 entries...

#12 Melissa is the winner!

So Melissa, I shall email you since you left me your email you little rockstar. Don't you worry little bitches, I have more giveaways happening soon.

Anyways. Here are some random awesome things I'm going to share:

First, I got two new pairs of shoes on clearance recently. Mostly because my other flats are falling apart and quite honestly, when you can see the bottom of your foot, it's time for a new pair.
 These brown ones are my favorite because they only hurt my toes, whereas the black ones hurt my whole foot.
 The plus side to being mad at your spouse and them knowing it is that miracles DO happen and suddenly, they find time to do projects you beg for years about. I finally got my shelving put up in my laundry room.
 Which is filling up from coupon stockpiling. Sadly, the laundry sink isn't happening. I still hold out hope, though.
 Then on my way home from work the other day I saw this. You can't see it well but it's a home made wheel chair. The chair part is the EXACT same material/cushion as a rocking chair I once had that turned out to be a complete piece of shit. We threw ours out when the whole thing fell apart. But this person took their piece of shit chair cushion and strapped it to what looks like some bike tires on a really bizarre frame. I seriously hope a legit disabled person isn't riding in this and if so- that tells you right there that the health care in this country has gone down hill.
 And apparently, if you are fat and full of fur, the best place to lay in the heat is on top of my dining room table.
 And look at this ugly green thing! I found it for $5 at a thrift store. Um, LOVE it and it's ugliness. So it's on my table holding my fake apples the cats think are toys.
 And I found this on Pinterest and I love it. I want it as my screensaver.
And lastly, I have a LOT of 30/30 items to be crossed off of my list soon. I'm kind of excited about it. But most importantly--- I am going on my Las Vegas trip on MONDAY. Monday, folks. I have a house sitter, I have a baby sitter, I have a cat sitter, and I have a sad little budget to make this trip awesome. I'm set. Ideally, I'd like to have more money to go on this trip and I've never been this broke on a vacation, but I feel like it's a challenge and I'm going to try to have fun regardless. I had my yard sale money but quite honestly.. Olivia needed school clothes and supplies. That's more of a priority. But it'll be fine and I will have fun.


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

My gripe about weddings.

Let me start this post by saying I'm married and I had a very lovely, very low key wedding. We had about 50 guests at the ceremony and about 150 at the reception. The cost of the wedding was split between my parents, Matt's parents and us. I think the grand total of everything was $6000 or less. And quite frankly? I look at that number now and think- what the fuck was I thinking?

For that money we have a gorgeous book of photographs we've only looked at once. I have a beautiful dress sealed into a gigantic box shoved into a closet in my mom's house I'll never use again. I have a box of mementos and things I thought I wanted to keep shoved into the far corner of our garage. I can't even tell you what's in there since I haven't opened it since I sealed it.

I have friends who are getting married, who are in weddings, and I see these shows on TV and I just think quietly to myself that 75% of them are going to be divorced within five years. What a effing waste of money. And really, what's the point? To out do family and friends married before you? To prove your fabulous taste in unnecessary things?

I have to be honest when I say I kind of look down at the people who feel the need to validate themselves or their relationship by having some outlandish wedding. I have been to quite a few weddings and honestly- I don't remember much from any of them. I remember what I wore (sometimes) and I remember the food, mostly because it's either really good or really bad. Or I remember who I sat with at the table.

I've only been asked to be a bridesmaid once because most of my friends had really small or destination weddings that I wasn't able to go to. But the one time I was asked I had to bow out because after seeing the $300 price tag on a dress, plus alterations, plus the $120 shoes that made my feet go numb, plus having to get my hair, makeup and nails done.. I bowed out. I offered to help in any way possible but there was no way I was spending that kind of money to watch the wedding but with a better seat. I got them a really great gift and helped with her showers and made appointments for everyone and I felt like I was better utilized in that capacity. But I really don't understand how some bride's have the balls to be so demanding of their friends. I was probably anti-Bridezilla. I let my bridesmaids (I had two) pick out the dress. I just asked that they be a blue color, I didn't even care which shade of blue. I told them to get whatever shoes they wanted, do their hair however, but just please be on time. And everyone was. I genuinely felt bad that the dress they picked out was $120. I mean, shit. That's a lot of money.

Don't get me started on Bridezillas. In fact, I am really surprised that some of these weddings even happen because quite honestly, that kind of behavior is unattractive and if I were a groom- I'd run as fast as I could. If she's that out of control over a god damn wedding- imagine child birth. That's all I have to say. Child birth.

I had a conversation with a friend who has a friend getting married and that bride insists that being in some one's wedding is an honor that people should beg for. Really? Because I secretly hope I don't get asked. I've made it known to friends that I just can't afford to spend that kind of money. I have kids, I have a mortgage, I have real bills. I'll get you a gift and support you on your big day and I'll even pay for my meal if you want, but please don't make me buy a dress and ugly shoes I'll never wear again.

And in retrospect, I really wish I had just eloped. Just our parents, a couple of witnesses, a simple dress and the beach. It would have been better because when I think about our wedding- most of the people who came? We don't talk to. They were friends of family and people that didn't really know us as a couple anyways. And that's where I think couples lose the whole meaning of a wedding in the first place. A wedding isn't supposed to be outlandish. You shouldn't be taking out loans to get married. You shouldn't be fighting over flowers or caterers or scripture. I feel like the over the top weddings is a perfect example of how the childhood lesson of the value of a dollar is lost. People don't even blink an eye at $1000 for flowers for a wedding. Unless you have the kind of income that can provide you with the cash to pay for that out right and not use a credit card or take out a loan, you should not be spending that much. It's just crazy.

And please god, don't get me started on rude brides and bridal registry's. Seriously, do NOT get me started.

So what are your thoughts on this? Do you think that weddings are over rated? What do you think about the high expense being in a wedding, not your own?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The time Matt almost let Jackson drown.

I was going through some pictures on my computer and I realized I completely forgot to tell you about the time Matt almost let Jackson drown. Matt isn't known for being super cautious with the kids and that's worrisome, but some offenses are worse than others. The time he almost killed them at the zoo was bad, but this is probably worse.

It started off like two or three weekends ago. It was a really nice day and I thought hey- let's go to the pool. And by "the pool" I mean the pool I used to swim at when I was little in Cloquet.  A lot of awesome memories were made there, like the countless times my brother almost drown, or the times my friend Jessica and I would swim out to the middle and stand on the tire for hours. For no reason. (Yes, they put a old tire on top of a drain on the bottom of the pool and the "cool kids" would just stand on it.) So we went.

And honestly? It was kind of chilly there. Like, a good fifteen degrees cooler than in Superior which was unusual because Cloquet is further from Lake Superior and therefore... should be warmer. Anyways. The kids were excited and that was fine. They have two little kid slides in the shallow end of the pool and they both wanted to go on it. I was helping one kid get out and make sure that they weren't getting pushed by bigger kids and Matt's job was to stand at the end of the slide and catch them. Since neither kid can swim.

The kids each go down the slide a couple of times and before we move on to something else, Jackson wanted to go one more time. So he goes. Keep in mind, I'm not next to the bottom of the slide because I'm helping Olivia with her bathing suit which was giving her wedgie after wedgie, so I didn't see him go. Matt was standing right there. What I do see is Jackson go completely underwater and Matt's ridiculous delay time of getting him. So I literally fly over there and get Jackson who is PISSED OFF that Matt completely failed to catch him. He's crying, he's got boogers all over his face, he's clinging to my neck so hard my lips were going numb, it was nuts. So after that he refused to go anywhere with Dad. He would not go back down the slide and wanted to sit on the beach area by himself but I told him he had to stay in the water.

Mostly because I paid $12 for our asses to get into the damn park, we're getting $12 worth of swimming out of this.

So I ended up walking around in the water with a three year old choking me to death. Fun for all.

Then we got out and that's when I realized how fucking cold it really was.
 Olivia obviously looks thrilled.
That's Jackson when a breeze came. Hilarious. Right after that, he got up to inform us we were leaving. HA!

Can I just say I wish I had the camera? Because the women's bathroom was DISGUSTING. Every toilet was overflowing with poop. I understand that water will sometimes make you poop. I get it. But JESUS CHRIST, let's maybe do a courtesy flush, huh? Do you have to back up every toilet??? People are pigs.

So yeah. That's the time Matt almost let Jackson drown. Now is the time where I'd say I was CPR certified and have the Red Cross card to prove it, but I let that expire and quite frankly? I didn't pay attention. It turns out if you just show up you can get the card. So yeah. I am not certified to save anyone.

32 Candles

If you loved the movie Sixteen Candles, love a good but funny chick book, or need a fast and fun read? This book is for you.

32 Candles- Ernessa T. Carter

Davie Jones—an ugly duckling growing up in small-town Mississippi—is positive her life couldn’t be any worse. She has the meanest mother in the South, and on top of that, she’s pretty sure she’s ugly. Just when she’s resigned herself to her fate, she sees a movie that will change her life—Sixteen Candles. But in her case, life doesn’t imitate art. Tormented endlessly in school and hopelessly in unrequited love with a handsome football player, Davie finds it bittersweet to dream of Molly Ringwald endings. When a cruel school prank goes too far, Davie leaves the life she knows and reinvents herself in the glittery world of Hollywood—as a beautiful and successful lounge singer. Just as she’s about to ride off into the LA sunset, a million miles from where she started, the past comes back with a vengeance, threatening to crush Davie’s dreams—and break her heart again. With wholly original characters and a cinematic storyline, 32 Candles introduces Ernessa T. Carter, a new voice in fiction with smarts, attitude, and sassiness to spare.

You know what else I loved about this book? Is that the main character Davie was really bullied in school and she just suffered quietly. And after she runs away and starts her new life, it eventually follows her back in some sick twist of fate. But what impacted me was that people don't always appreciate what their behavior as a young person does to a person all through their life. I know I didn't have it easy in high school but I certainly didn't have it as bad as other kids. And at our reunion I tried to not think about it but it was hard. Later on I had comments saying that they were kids and it's been ten years. Yeah.. that's true but it still sucks. It still hurts knowing I was excluded from things for reasons that were beyond my control and you can't just brush it off and say, "Well, I was only 17 then." It doesn't work that way. So I really liked how Ernessa takes a fairly serious subject a lot of people can relate to and make it funny and entertaining to read.

I hope Ernessa keeps writing books as awesome and funny as these- because she's got a talent for them. This book might be on the holiday shopping list for some of my girlfriends. :) But I do think you'll like this book if you're in the need for a light hearted, funny book reminiscent of a John Hughes movie.

I also encourage you to check out Fierce and Nerdy, where Ernessa blogs, or see what other bloggers are saying about this book HERE.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Winners and Runners

Heylo bitches! It's Weightloss Check In Monday. Normally I have a whole post for you.. but I felt hte vlog was sufficient. Enjoy lovers.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Shut Your Eyes Tight and GIVEAWAY!

It's been awhile since I've read a legit thriller and GOOD LORD this one was good. And creepy.

Shut Your Eyes Tight- John Verdon
Shut Your Eyes Tight (Dave Gurney, No. 2): A Novel
When he was the NYPD’s top homicide investigator, Dave Gurney was never comfortable with the label the press gave him: super detective. He was simply a man who, when faced with a puzzle, wanted to know. He was called to the investigative hunt by the presumptuous arrogance of murderers – by their smug belief that they could kill without leaving a trace. There was always a trace, Gurney believed.

Except what if one day there wasn’t?

Dave Gurney, a few months past the Mellery case that pulled him out of retirement and then nearly killed him, is trying once again to adjust to his country house’s bucolic rhythms when he receives a call about a case so seductively bewildering that the thought of not looking into it seems unimaginable—even if his beloved wife, Madeleine, would rather he do anything but.

The facts of what has occurred are horrible: a blushing bride, newly wed to an eminent psychiatrist and just minutes from hearing her congratulatory toast, is found decapitated, her head apparently severed by a machete. Though police investigators believe that a Mexican gardener killed the young woman in a fit of jealous fury, the victim’s mother—a chilly high-society beauty—is having none of it. Reluctantly drawn in, Dave is quickly buffeted by a series of revelations that transform the bizarrely monstrous into the monstrously bizarre.

Underneath it all may exist one of the darkest criminal schemes imaginable. And as Gurney begins deciphering its grotesque outlines, some of his most cherished assumptions about himself are challenged, causing him to stare into an abyss so deep that it threatens to swallow not just him but Madeleine, too.

Desperate to protect Madeleine and bring an end to the madness, Gurney ultimately discovers that the killer has left a trace after all. Unfortunately, the revelation may come too late to save his own life.

I will say that I'm pretty good at figuring out who actually did it, and I nailed it this time, but the reasoning behind... holy good lord it was creepy. And kind of frightening. Which made this book hard to put down and kept you on the edge of your seat. I realized shortly after starting it that this is the second in a Dave Gurney series (Think of a Number was the first) but it didn't matter, I didn't feel like I missed any key information to keep me out of the loop on this story since there wasn't much carry over from that investigation to this one.

But this story touches on some unique topics, primarily serial sex offenders... mostly women. It's interesting that the story is based around this since it's not something you hear a lot about in your news coverage but it's obviously a very real thing.

In some stories there is always at least one character that I'm never really excited about and wish they were left out all together, but not this one. Every character in this book had their own thing going for them and I never got bored with any story line or dialogue, which is maybe part of the reason I was on edge and devoured this book. John Verdon did such a great job weaving such a bizarre story line together that you don't know where it's been or where it's going, but you know it'll come together for a great moment at the end. And I have to be honest, when that moment came- I didn't realize it would happen then. I thought for sure some more information would come to light first. But I was wrong and I was glad. This was a great book.

Fortunately for you, the publisher is offering my readers a copy of the book for their very own! Leave me a comment on this post (US/Canada only) with your email address if you'd like a chance to win! I will draw for a winner on Wednesday, July 20 so you need to hurry!

See what other bloggers are saying about this book HERE.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Domestic Bitch: 700, Buttons, Chops and Furniture Haulers.

For my 700th post (right here, hence the "700" in the title..) you are going to get a whole bunch of random which is.... Domestic Bitch Saturday.

First up, free shit.

Alpo Dog Food
Garnier Shampoo/Conditioner
Honey Nut Cheerios
o.b. trial pack (this is cute and fits in your purse)
U by Kotex
Shout Wipes (facebook offer)

Next up, food.

This week I tried a new marinade that was made for chicken on a Rachael Ray show, but since we're having pork chops a ton in the next three weeks (buy one, get one!!) I decided I could make it work. So you need: about a 1/4 cup of olive oil, a spoonful of garlic, a chopped onion, a shit ton of parsley, meat and a good squirt honey.
 Mix all of your stuff (except for meat) really well, then add meat. Let those bitches do dirty but tasty things in that bowl for like... 20 minutes.
 Then grill them. Or cook them in a pan... we grilled. It was yummy.
My crafty project this week was something I saw in a store that I wanted, but was clearly something I could make on my own because I am awesome. But yourself a plain old wood mirror.
 You are also going to need a super duper glue (I am kind of scared of a hot glue gun, so I use this E6000 for EVERYTHING. I happen to know that it's strong enough to glue a person's butt to a chair.), and an assload of buttons. 
 Before I start gluing buttons on like a crazy lady, I painted my wood frame first. Mostly because once I got to thinking about it, I realized I wouldn't be able to cover up all the wood and the wood isn't cute. So I used a pale yellow color (called Banana.. even though I don't think this is really the color of a banana), let that dry and then glued like a crazy lady. And if you're too lazy to make this or can't glue something without wanting to eat the glue, you can buy it in my shop HERE.
 And my other major project this weekend was cleaning, reorganizing, and rearranging both Olivia and Jackson's rooms. If you don't have children you can't appreciate the awfulness of this task. Kids have a way of keeping the most random collection of shit, shoving into every hiding space and crevice, and then refuse to part with it. And I swear to you- Olivia is a hoarder. Or at least the beginning stages of hoarding. I found wrappers, broken toys, erasers chewed on by a cat (or Jackson- jury still out on that) and a god dam SANDWICH in her room, and she cried, and I mean CRIED, when I threw it out. When I tell you that it took me five hours to do both rooms, I'm not kidding. And when I tell you about three of that was spent explaining the reasons we don't need to keep juice box straw wrappers, I'm not kidding. But here's the finished product:
 And we moved her bed away from the wall too. Her room is quite large, and this makes it seem less empty.
 And Jackson's room. Oh my. That boy is just messy. He really enjoys sweeping, mopping and dusting, but not so much putting stuff away. So I spent a LOT of time in his room just putting the pieces back to toys and puzzles. And I turned his bed around so he has more playing room.
 And I realized that this is the first time you've seen these paintings.. even though I've had them for... like two years. Oh man. But I changed each kids room over from baby to big kid room when they turned two. And I knew I was going to do a car/truck theme for his room and I really hated all of the artwork I was seeing in stores. So I asked my super talented and amazing and lovely and adorable blog friend Jamie if she'd be interested in making three paintings and I pay her. She did, and they are awesome. They match his bedding perfectly and they are definitely one of a kind. She rocks.
 So that was my week and weekend. I have a couple of other recipes I'm going to try next week so hopefully those don't suck and I have something yummy to share with you.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Dear Sara---- the un-emo edition.

I'm not emo tonight, pinky swears and glitter poop.

Tonight is Dear Sara and before I get to my other questions, here is my vlog question WITH the winner of the Long Journey Home giveaway:

2. I've never had kids but my friend who has a six month old keeps complaining that she pees her pants when she sneezes or laughs. I think she's just gross but she swears it's because she had a baby. Is that true or she messing with me? Well, while I can't speak for every woman who's had a baby (in particular those who've had a c-section) I can tell you that as a person who has push two babies through my vagina that yes, that's absolutely true. Now, for awhile I held the hope that eventually I wouldn't be at risk for pissing myself when I sneeze, laugh, run, lightly jog, jump up and down, bend over, etc... but I've been told that it's something I get to deal with forever. I do my Kegels, I keep my shit tight, yet I will still pee myself. It's awful but it's the sad truth. Buy your friend some light days pads when she has a cold, she'll need them.

3. Who is your favorite author and your favorite book? I can't say I have a favorite author but I can say I have a favorite book. Which would hands down be Linda Howard's "All The Queen's Men" because I love her books (romance/mystery novels) and her character in that book, John Medina, would be like my ultimate fantasy guy. Yumola.

4. What is your most and least favorite thing about yourself? I guess my least would be my anxiety/shyness when meeting new people. Sometimes I'm OK but other times I clam up. The most favorite thing is my honesty. I don't believe in hiding anything from people and I wish more people had the balls to just be upfront and honest.

5. I was talking with my married guy friend yesterday and we had sorta gotten onto the topic of threesomes. He is recently married within the past 7 months. My opinion is that threesomes are for those that are bored with their sex life or aren't fulfilled by their significant other. He replied to that saying, "he's married, not dead." What are your thoughts on threesomes? Or newly married guys bringing them up? I don't think he was asking me to have a threesome with him, but I get the vibe he wasn't 100% joking on the matter either. Thoughts? Well I can say I *probably* wouldn't participate in a threesome. I guess it would really depend. I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing for a married couple to partake in such things, but I do think it's a bit strange that after being married such a short time it's come up. Unless it's something that's been discussed prior and now that they are married they feel more comfortable bringing in a third person? Either way, I've known a few people who have gone that route and it has never ended well so I would advise your friend against it.

6. I recently discovered my husband of one year has cheated on me. He says it was only one time, but I think it might have been more. Neither of us really want to get divorced but I don't know if I can forgive and forget. So should I just throw in the towel because cheaters will always cheat, or try to work it out since we've only been married a year? Well, I don't think the amount of time you've been married makes a difference, so just forget that. Things you should keep in mind: cheaters aren't always cheaters if they don't want to be. I don't know if you've started marriage counseling (it's a good idea to start) but usually when something like this happens you want to know why they did it. Please know that you will NEVER like the reason why they did it. Sometimes they'll blame you, sometimes they'll blame something or someone else, but the bottom line is that your spouse couldn't keep himself in check. No matter how awful you are or were, it doesn't justify what he did. So, keep that in mind too. Next, you should never forget it, but you should forgive. Forgiving doesn't mean you forget it, it just means you've accepted it's happened and you are going to move onto the solution and work together to make things better. That's what marriage is. It sucks and it's hard but that's what it is. I have been in this boat before and I know it's hard. I do suggest that you think about all of what you're dealing with and separate it all, then work through that list and decide what it is the MOST that bothers you. It might not be that he talked to a person, that he kissed a person, or even had sex with the person. For me it was about the fact he thought he could lie about it. That piece is what bothered me the most about Matt's infidelity. But you work through that (with marriage counseling- it's easier) and grow. And you know what? If at the end of the day, after counseling and talking together you decide that it's not fixable, THEN consider divorce. I think people throw the towel in too soon a lot of the time. Marriage isn't meant to be awesome all of the time. When times get tough (like they are this week for me) I think about my vows. I remember each and every line and know that I agreed to that, and my job is to work through it and make it better. So you can do that too. It's hard, it sucks and it's not easy, but it can be done.

Phew! Kind of a long Dear Sara! ;) If you have questions for next week.... let me know!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

It's one of those... weeks. Or months. I can't even tell yet.

I've had a pretty rough week and I'm at the point where I just want to ask someone what the hell. Seriously, what the hell. I don't understand why everything in my life has to be so fucking hard. I can't go an extended time where something doesn't drop on my lap when I least expect it.

I try so hard to be a good mom, a good wife, a good daughter, a good friend and just a good person. I do. I try really hard and for the most part I feel like I do a good job at balancing everything and everybody. But sometimes... I just don't know. I've never been shy when I talk about the issues in my life and the things I deal with and there are lots of big things I've never told you all and some things I've never talked to anyone about. And maybe I won't... I don't know. But I feel like the purpose of my blog was never to get validation from other people, but just have you all as a sounding board. Like a group of friends I vent to and get feedback from. And that's helpful.l So for tonight.. I'm just going to vent.
  • Sometimes I feel completely unloved and not respected at home. I work just as hard as Matt and sometimes I feel like because I'm not working full time that I'm not regarded as working as hard. But aside from my part time job I am the sole person running this house, taking care of the kids and keeping everyone moving and happy. It's hard work.
  • I don't like being lied to. I wish people would understand that when you lie- it will ALWAYS come out eventually. I don't know why a person feels like they have to lie to me. I'm pretty laid back, open minded and understanding.
  • And hiding something is just as bad as lying. Again, I will ALWAYS find out.
  • My definition of cheating is when you do something you won't tell another person. If you have to hide it, you shouldn't be doing it.
  • I feel disappointed in the choices I've made- I feel like maybe I wasted a part of my life on something that was never going to change.
  • I don't want to talk to anyone and hear that they told me so. That doesn't help me or anything.
  • I'm stressed out about Olivia starting Kindergarten. I feel like a part of me is getting older far beyond it's time.
  • Sometimes I want to run away.
  • I'm undecided how I want the rest of my life to play out.
  • I just really want to not have to worry about another person's actions because it's always me that deals with their consequences.
  • I don't know why people have to be so selfish.
  • I don't understand how a person who say they were my friend could just disappear as if the friendship never meant anything at all. Without even being an adult and just talking to me. And then wonder why they are so lonely in life.
  • I can't keep giving and not get anything back.
  • I'm glad I have a really great group of core friends who make me smile and try to keep me going.
  • I don't like marathon training.
  • I miss living by an ocean.
I'm in a funk, yall. I don't know. But in times like this I usually rely on my brother to just talk stuff out with and I can't because we're both busy. We're both tired. But I miss him anyways. This song always makes me think of him. 

"Oh brother, I can't, I can't get through.
I've been trying hard to reach you because I don't know what to do.
Oh brother, I can't believe it's true.
I'm so scared about the future, and I want to talk to you."

I hope this all blows over as quickly as it came because quite honestly, I just can't handle everything at once. I know people say God can't give you more than you can handle and that's just simply not true. It just really isn't.

I'll rally and bounce back for you tomorrow. Tomorrow is Dear Sara, with a VLOG (oh yes, it shall be back), so send me your questions at sarastrand9438(at)hotmail(dot)com or leave me a comment in this post. Ciao, bitches.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

What I was doing when I was cheating on you.

Pretty much the entire month of June on Wednesdays I was cheating on you. I wasn't posting those night and I didn't tell you why. But it's OK because now I have something fancy to hang.

Basically... I'm trying to try new things and experiences. My friend Emily and I joined a stained glass class and figured it'd be a cool thing to do one night a week, end up with hopefully a not lame ass project, and just try not to cut ourselves a lot. Fortunately, it was all that. And a shit ton of hard work.

Day one started with picking your pattern and your glass and some first steps. Emily and I were the only ones who came early (like we were told) to do those two things. There were three other women in the class and by the end of day one, both Emily and I decided maybe we were the smartest. At least the most efficient and able to understand instructions. Fortunately, I had a brilliant moment and asked which pattern would be the easiest- mostly because I'm lazy and all about the easy. So I got that, and the glass:
 Then we had to cut out our pattern and glue onto our glass. We didn't get any further because of the slow people who don't understand the concept of tracing and cutting. They truly looked at the instructor like an idiot when she told us to trace and cut. And their faces when she handed them a glue stick? I seriously at that moment thought maybe I should be in the advanced class.

Day two was cutting glass. Not going to lie, this was kind of scary. You have to score it then break it, and yeah. It was kind of hard. I'm not good at cutting things with curves. I can do it, but it's kind of a pain.
 Then you had to place your pieces on your pattern to see how much you have to grind.
 Then you grind and try not to fuck your pieces up. But I kind of loved grinding. I could have grinded all day. And the other three did. Emily and I though.. super efficient. We were feeling pretty confident with our stained glass skills at this point.
 But then MOTHER FUCKER, it came to the part where you wrap your pieces (easy) and soder (hard). I will be the first to say this was my first attempt at sodering anything. It's harder than hell. And so now when I see a tiny stained glass piece for an astronomical price? I totally understand why. This is quite possibly, the worst activity ever. Not only should you not have low blood sugar and the shakes when doing this, but you should just not get too excited about melting metal. You know why? Because then you are forever trying to clean up the globs and lumps. I think I spent a solid two classes trying to fix my soder so it didn't look like someone with Tourettes was doing this.
 I kind of failed on that. Because it's really hard. This was the best I could do.
 This is my finished piece. Because I'm really stupid, I sodered my chain hooky things to the wrong god damn side and was too lazy to change it. Oh well. So my piece would hang backwards. I say "would" because it's been on my counter since June 30. I'm just not sure where the hell I'm going to put it.
So all in all... we had a good time. I like doing things with Emily because she's laid back, she's funny, and she isn't afraid to try new things. Even if they do end up being way more expensive that we were initially told. The class fee was $45 plus supplies. On the first night we paid $40 for supplies. But every single week there was more and more stuff to buy. I think in the end I ended up paying like $120? Or more? It's an expensive piece of artwork. That doesn't even look that great. Oh well. HA!

The next thing we're doing is obviously the 5K in August. Then in September we're going to do a cake decorating class. Confession: I suck shit at baking cakes, getting them out of the pans, and then frosting. Good lord I can't frost. So if there is ever a time I'll make an ass out of myself it'll be in this class. I'll take pictures of my um... creations.

In the meantime.. I have something SPECIAL for my vlog on Friday. But I'll only be doing one if I get a few more questions for Dear Sara. You need to email me (sarastrand9438AThomtailDOTcom) by tomorrow evening or leave a comment on this post of something you'd like me to answer. Anything at all, lovelies.