Book Review: Queen Bee

You guys.... it's only Thursday. It feels like it needs to be Friday and I need to be excited about sleeping in tomorrow. But no. It's only Thursday and I have one more hellish day of this incredibly long week. Ugh.

So I say this every June I think, but it isn't summer until I have the latest from Dorothea Benton Frank. It's always one of my go-to reads to kick off summer and her books always make me happy. 

Queen Bee - Dorothea Benton Frank 

A woman wounded by her past comes to Sullivan's Island, South Carolina to find new meaning in life and to find herself. As she takes up a new hobby of beekeeping, she begins to come into her own and rebuild her life. When a new friend comes in and she finally allows for something more than just "friendship", everyone will realize that life could use a little taste of sweetness.

In what is sure to be another classic, Dorothea Benton Frank weaves a fun tale of self-discovery, love, and friendship with her signature charming wit, indelible poignancy, and hallmark themes.

The thing about Dorothea Benton Frank is her books are always fun. You can always relate to them, you love the characters, as flawed as they sometimes are, because they are always like people you know. This could be your family and she always expertly nails what a personality is, what that personality would say or do in any given situation, and she can have you laughing and crying throughout the same book, and this one wasn't any different. 

So this one is a book around two sisters and a mother who really is demanding and Holly is the one left to care for her after her sister Leslie left the island. Well Leslie is back because she's had a pretty big shakeup in her life, but coming into the routine and life that Holly and their mom has isn't easy. They butt heads but ultimately they reconnect to each other and that's the main piece of this book. We also have a little romance thrown it, but don't call this a romance novel, we have bees (and Holly- who talks to her bees all of the time), the cute little boys next door, and tons of times where I laughed out loud. All of the characters are so completely set in their ways and aren't necessarily open minded (looking at you, Leslie) and throughout the book things change and happen and you can see them (slowly) turn more laid back and willing to roll with the punches versus "my way or the highway" and that's what makes you feel like this could be your family.

It really was the best, light, summery read to basically kick off my summer reading list. I also want to mention how much I love these books because every time I read them I want to go to this place. I feel like I've read enough of them that I would fit completely in with these fictional people and it would be totally normal. 

It should be noted that while this is Lowcountry Tales #12, you don't have to read anything before this, these really are stand alone novels, and I suggest you read any/all of the ones you can get your hands on! I really, really enjoyed this one and if you're looking for the perfect summer read for vacation, the beach, your backyard, wherever? This is the one you need. 

   

Thank you to TLC Book Tours and William Morrow for my review copy, all thoughts and opinions are my own. Let me know what you think of this one! This post contains affiliate links and that helps this blog keep going. What is on YOUR summer reading list? 

15 years of pretty alright.

So as of 2:30ish this afternoon, Matt and I will have been married for 15 years. We've been together since January 2002, moved in together July 2002, engaged October 2002, and married June 2004. Honestly, we would have gotten married sooner but I have a thing about doing big things on odd years so we had to wait and the fact he even went along with that is a testament to Matt's patience. We met at Campbell Lumber where both him and my mom worked and she told me about this cute guy she works with around my age. It turns out that fall he was transferring to my college and we'd say hello in the hallway. I actually broke up with my fiance (don't ask) that September, started dating a much older guy who turned out to be the worst ever (don't ask), and by Thanksgiving 2002 I was moving my stuff out of my first apartment with my ex-fiance by myself, in the snow, (I am a testament that you should ALWAYS live with someone before you get married) and really depressed. I spent Christmas alone and pretty depressed, not sure what I was going to do in general. I sent out Christmas cards to some of my friends and family and took a chance and put one on Matt's windshield at work letting him know I hope his first semester went OK and if he had any issues with class start up, let me know and I could try to help (I was a work study in financial aid and student services). Right after New Years I ran into Matt again when he was working (I was visiting my mom between my two jobs) and he asked me if I wanted to hang out on a weekend he wasn't working and just watch movies. I said sure, he picked me up, we rented some movies, got him a sandwich at Subway, went back to the house he was renting a room in, and watched Pearl Harbor (unnecessarily long and completely lame) and The Fast & the Furious (pretty alright), and then I think he started Star Wars in his room but I actually fell asleep. 

And did not wake up until the next morning. I'm not even kidding. We had a second date I think the very next day (which was my dad's birthday so I stayed for cake and then left) and the rest is history. I knew I loved him within two weeks. I thought he was the cutest guy I had ever seen, he could fix my computer for school, he had a job, he was funny, he liked to do touristy things with me, he was as broke as I was, we had similar life plans, and we just clicked. 

We graduated college together that May. We knew we wanted to live together and started looking for places and he had heard about a one bedroom apartment above a video rental store in south end, with a garage and free laundry, and was only $425 a month in rent and that included all of our utilities. It felt like fate so we took it. Those were two of the best years of my life. I loved that little apartment and I remember crying when we had to leave even though we had bought our first home because I got pregnant six months after we got married. 

In just 15 years of marriage we have dealt with: depression, infidelity, job loss, bankruptcy, marriage counseling, new jobs, selling our first home and buying a new home, five pregnancies (one miscarriage and four babies), more depression, me dying during childbirth and becoming disabled, more depression, and now we're here. I know I'm missing a lot in there because I always say that if it can happen, it has happened to us and it wasn't easy but we've made it. 

We had some really rough years, yes YEARS, and there have been a lot of times where I've wondered if we were even going to make it. Perhaps the only positive that has come from dying and coming back is I know with every fiber in my body, Matt is my ride or die (literally) and I am his. We're older now, we're definitely not wiser, we always feel like we're winging it, but I know with 100% certainty that if I called Matt right now and told him I need him, he would completely drop whatever he is doing, wherever he is, and he would be here. He wouldn't question it, he would never make me feel bad for calling for him, and he would do it again in a heartbeat. 

Sometimes I see "what would you tell your younger self" type questions but if I had to tell this couple some stuff, it would be this: 

1. This joy you feel on this day is fleeting. It goes away. Sometimes it lasts a couple of weeks, but it will always go away. It isn't meant to last because that's not what love is. 
2. Always, always, ALWAYS put each other first. You will think you can focus on kids and family first and then your partner later because they'll be there, but that's not true. It has to be the other way around. I have fun with friends but if he says no to something, or he'd rather I hang out at home- I always do. I can think of only one time in all of these years he did that and it was right after my AFE and he didn't want me to go to the mall alone. Instead, he let me hang out at home and he took all of the kids out because all I really wanted was to be alone. 
3. Even the relationships on the best foundation will crack. Marriage is THE hardest thing I have ever done. Harder than giving birth. Harder than any schooling I've had. Harder than any physical training I've done. Harder than recovering from death. Harder than ANYTHING. Every single day I go to bed I think about how I could have been a better wife. Some days I'm a really terrible wife. Some days he's a really terrible husband. But those are just singular days. 
4. Two wrongs don't make a right and you can never go tit for tat. If your relationship becomes a place where you can compete who can hurt who more in an effort to "show them how it feels", you are doomed from the start. It's not about hurting them, it's about showing them how it hurts you so they understand and (hopefully) don't do it again. 
5. We are always a united front. I might 100% disagree with his parenting style but I will always back him up (obviously unless safety is concerned but that's never been a thing with us, so calm the hell down). I will back him up and when it's our time after everyone goes to bed, I'll tell him that was stupid and why. He does the same.
6. Accept who he is. To be fair, I still struggle with this and that's on me. I knew going in that Matt was not romantic. Pretty much not at all. I might get flowers, but they are the $5 bunch that look like weeds. I  might get a date once a year but I know it's dinner and a movie (if I'm lucky) and that's it. I will never be whisked away on a trip.... unless I plan it completely. I won't ever get sweet notes, cards, or texts with declarations of how he loves me. I won't ever get a birthday or Christmas gift with sentimental value because that's not how his brain works, he's very utilitarian so I will get something I've asked for very specifically or something he thinks I need. 

There is probably a lot more advice I could give but lord knows I can't remember it. HA! I just know that marriage is really hard, and that the honeymoon phase really is just a phase. You'll get bored with the person, they will drive you crazy, and you will wonder if this is as good as it gets, are you missing out on your soul mate out there? And I'll tell you that it does get better. If you had told me way back in 2007-2012 that things will get better and I will be happier than ever with him, I would have thought you were nuts. Completely nuts. 

But here we are. 

Matt is really the only person in the whole world who has hung by me on my worst days and my best days. He's the only person who is here every day and sees my short comings that I try really hard to hide from everyone. He's the only person who loves me just the same and never makes me feel like I'm a failure, a bad mom, a bad friend, a bad daughter, a bad person. Every single day he tells me he loves me and he never makes me feel like I'm missing the mark as a wife. He is proud of every accomplishment I have, even if it's just walking the neighborhood and getting home on my own. He has his flaws and we have our problems, but I know that at the end of my life, he'll be right there. No matter what. The only thing I'm really scared of in life is him dying before me because he absolutely, 100% is my rock. I depend on him for everything. He's my person. 

This will always be my favorite picture from our wedding. It was right after our ceremony, people had filed out and were waiting for us to get into the limo but we were waiting for our witnesses to sign the marriage paperwork. The photographer just snapped this quick and to be honest? This is the only moment from my wedding day that I still remember. The ceremony and reception? Is gone. But I look at this picture and we look so young (I was 22 and he was not quite 24) and it looks like we were just waiting for life to happen. 

And happen it did. 

Happy 15th, babe. I would pick you over and over again. (Even though your project management skills are terrible, you get the wrong stuff at the grocery store, and you snore so loudly. The fact I can overlook all of that is a testament to how much I love you.)

Book Review: Dear Bridget, I Want You

So right now I am most likely getting things organized at home so I can leave and go to the New Kids on the Block concert with my friend Tammy. I'm not even kidding. She really wanted to go and I'm meh on it because I already saw them when I was 9. That's how cool I am. I did order a shirt for the occasion so I'll try to get a picture of it. She is super excited and I'm just hoping Salt-N-Pepa are there because I fully intend to "Push It" like it's nobody's business.

Anyways.

I am giving you this book review now because I LOVED IT SO MUCH. Your welcome.

Dear Bridget, I Want You - Penelope Ward & Vi Keeland

Dear Bridget,

I'm writing this letter because it's highly doubtful I'll ever garner the courage to say this to your face.

So, here goes.

We're totally wrong for each other. You're the proper single mum with a good head on your shoulders. I'm just the carefree British doctor passing through town and temporarily living in your converted garage until I head back to England.

But here's the thing... for some bloody reason, I can't stop thinking about you in very inappropriate ways.

I want you.

The only reason I'm even admitting all of this to you right now is because I don't believe it's one-sided. I notice your eyes when you look at me, too. And as crass as I appear when we're joking around about sex, my attraction to you is not a joke.

So, what's the purpose of this note? I guess it's a reminder that we're adults, that sex is healthy and natural, and that you can find me just through the door past the kitchen. More specifically, it's to let you know that I'm leaving said door cracked open from now on in case you'd like to visit me in the middle of the night sometime.

No questions asked.

Think about it.

Or don't.

Whatever you choose.

It's doubtful I'll even end up sliding this letter under your door anyway.

--Simon

I'm going to start and tell you there are not enough stars in the world for this book so I have to give it 5. Secondly, this is my first book by Penelope and Vi and absolutely won't be the last because I enjoyed this book SO MUCH. Yes, I'm yelling it. If you know me in real life you would know I'm telling you about this book while waving my hands around, giant grin on my face, random squeals, and me tapping my feet and legs like a child getting candy because it was that good. I loved it. I loved it so much.

*Deep breaths*

In this book we have single, widowed mom Bridget, who is in a bit of a dry spell. We have Simon, super hot doctor who is looking for a place to stay. Their mutual friend Calliope arranges for Simon to move into Bridget's guest area and they "meet" while she is stark naked and passed out in her bathroom. But it isn't their first time meeting so Bridget is properly mortified. The entire book is their conflicted feelings of wanting the other person while not thinking it's the best idea to do so. Bridget is worried about getting attached knowing Simon is leaving at the end of his residency and she doesn't want her son to get attached. Simon doesn't want to get tied down and doesn't really want kids. They each have some tough baggage and there are a bunch of obstacles in the way.

Now, there are some fairly big plot points that in any other romance book it would derail the romance, there would be the cliched "get the hell out" and later the "I over-reacted, I'm sorry" trope WHICH I HATE AND THINK IS SO STUPID. In this book they work through things together and it was so incredibly refreshing and I loved it immensely. I won't tell you any more but know that the story ties up so well that the gift at the end? I never saw it coming and I teared up. Sorry, not sorry. I really enjoyed these characters, I loved Simon in his doctor roll but also not-at-work-take-charge roll, and this book had me laughing, made my heart squeeze, and had me tearing up. I really couldn't put it down. It was amazing. You need this. Like right now.

I purchased this baby (thank god because I intend to re-read it A LOT) but all thoughts are on my own. This post does contain affiliate links, help me not be poor. 

Book Review: The Midnight Call

This morning I am going to try to suck it up, give my anxiety the finger, and try to go to a play group with Penelope and Lucy. It's an hour and a half long but honestly, I need to get these kids doing something because just hanging around the house pretty much sucks. That and Lucy said the most heartbreaking thing EVER. Olivia was talking about seeing her friend and Lucy says, "We have no friends" motioning between her and Penelope.

You guys.

I felt terrible. So I'm going to try really hard to embrace my anxiety and just go to the dang play group. It's at a public park and I'm pretty sure there's a place I can sit (knowing I really can't stand the entire time) and it'll be fine. I can do this. I think.

Anyways- let's do a book review. Also, if you read any of the books I review- let me know. I really want to know what you think about the book, too!

The Midnight Call - Jode Millman

Could you ever suspect that your mentor was a cold-blooded killer? 

Attorney Jessie Martin couldn’t– at least not until she answers the midnight call. 

Late one August night, her mentor/confidante and popular high school teacher Terrence Butterfield calls, admits he’s killed someone and pleads for Jessie’s help. Out of loyalty, she rushes to his aid, unaware that she’s risking her love, her career, her life and that of her unborn child. 

When the police arrive, her presence raises questions as to her role in the gruesome slaughter of the teenage boy found in Terrence’s basement. Did Terrence call her as a lawyer or a friend? Was she somehow responsible for the murder? 

To dismiss the murder charges Terrence betrays Jessie, making her wonder whether he’d been a monster in disguise all along.

To prove her innocence, Jessie must untangle the web of betrayals and the shocking truths behind the homicide. This quest turns out to be the fight of her life. 

If you are a fan of legal thrillers, this is going to be right up your alley. Is it cream of the crop legal thriller? No, but there's enough talent here that I think this author is moving in the right direction and gaining traction to really get going. I will say that the legal aspect of this book is so well done because the author is an attorney herself and you can really tell she pulled a lot of that expertise into this book. It feels kind of like an episode of Law & Order, but the second half where it's the D.A. trying to piece together a case.

So the book starts with a fairly brutally murdered boy in the basement of Terrence, who is a close friend of Jessie. The details are murky, at best, by Terrence is sure that he did it (you'll find out why it wasn't a concrete yes or no). The characters all kind of know, or know of, each other so that kind of makes this an interesting whodunit story where nothing is really as it seems and you look at people you know differently. How well can you really know a person?

I'm giving this one a solid 3. I really liked how fast of a read this was, the conclusion was kind of out there enough that I don't think I really saw it coming. I'm knocking points off because the love triangle aspect was a little strange for me because Jessie is really pretty pregnant. That's not to say a pregnant woman can't have a banging sex life and find the love of her life, I'm just saying it's a trope you don't often see in a book, at least I can't think of one off the top of my head. Also, this would probably make for a cool Lifetime movie you know you'll binge on a lazy weekend. I will say the very last line of this book automatically sets it up for a sequel, and I'm not sure that it's needed? But dammit if I'll say no because you know I'm a sucker for a series and I can't stop myself. Ha!

   

I received an advanced copy of this, special thanks to Meryl Moss Media, but all thoughts and opinions are my own. This post does contain affiliate links and that helps this blog keep going, thank you for supporting it! I'm excited to see what you think of this one, too- let me know!

The Great American Family Vacation (Planning): Missouri

Every year we try to do something that we can call a "vacation". We only get to be bums on a beach once every five years if we're lucky, but we do like to do road trips. Thankfully our kids are pretty accustomed to being in the car to go anywhere fun, so that's pretty helpful.

This year we knew that we wanted to do something but we couldn't afford to go real far. We have this goal to see all 50 states so we decided we would go to a state that's far enough to feel like a big trip, but not too far where we're gone for almost two weeks and spending a ton of money on gas. I'm finding that my ability to coordinate a trip for a bunch of days is REALLY difficult and I almost always bungle it and screw something up and Matt has to patiently try to fix my mix up and I spend the rest of the trip completely confused. We live in Wisconsin, we're in Minnesota all of the time, and we've been to Illinois, South Dakota, and Nebraska, so it kind of narrowed down our options, which is kind of nice. We settled on....

I know, it doesn't sound exciting. Missouri has never been a place I was super excited about visiting, but it IS a state and it IS on the map and if we want to see all 50 we have to see Missouri. May as well get 'er over with. AmIright?

We don't have a bunch of days because hotels in the summer are kind of ridiculously priced. For perspective, I spent more money on five nights of hotels in Missouri than I did in a two bedroom condo for 7 nights in Florida on the damn beach.

Who do you think you are, Missouri?

So the game plan is pretty loose right now and we might say screw it and do things completely different, but this is what Olivia and Jackson suggested as they diligently paged through a visitor guide and things online:

Silver Dollar City.... which is JUST AS MUCH as a damn day at Disney and quite frankly, this looks like a really watered down, not as magical Disney (a lot of similar rids like Dumbo and tea cups but this is like the generic version). For us to go is almost $300 for one day. I'm not kidding. But it's cheaper than Six Flags in St. Louis and gets better reviews so that's what they picked. 

MY pick was a show boat! So this is super dorky and I see you rolling your eyes and laughing at me. But a long, long time ago when I was in elementary school, I had a music teacher who made us memorize composers and their most famous pieces but in between that she made us watch musicals. (Honestly, I thinks she is the reason I think musicals are stupid as an adult and I don't like theater.) Anyways, so I remember one which actually maybe was called Show Boat or something and I just remembered thinking the boat was super cool. And the whole ambiance of it. So when I saw an actual, for real show boat was a thing- I decided we are all going to go so I can say I've been on a show boat. It's completely stupid, but there it is. 

We are going to stop in St. Louis on our way home (and spend like two nights there) so I knew I absolutely HAD to see the Gateway Arch. To me it's like the Bean in Chicago, it's weird, but you just have to say you've seen it. Actually, I'm fairly certain I have seen it when I was little and we drove from Florida to Minnesota as we were moving but it would have been in the distance so that doesn't count. Matt informed me he's already seen it so he's not interested but I reminded him the REST of his family wants to go. The kids were alright with it but when I told them we are 100% going to the top, Jackson looked like he was going to puke.

Obviously, we're still going because that is how childhood memories are made. 

Olivia and Jackson are interested in weird things so I thought we could go to the Science Center because it's technically free but I wrote down $30 so we much be doing something there that is $5 for each person. My plan was to do this on our last morning, poop everyone out, eat lunch, and then power home and have people take a decent nap the first chunk of the drive. 

Oh! And we were going to go to the St. Louis Zoo because the little girls LOVE animals and they have a bunch of different things to do and it looks fun.

I have a few other maybe things, some restaurants to maybe eat at, and some indie bookstores that might be fun (don't pretend you didn't know I'd sneak at least one in). I booked hotels and I'm considering buying tickets for things in advance so I don't feel like we're shelling out money like crazy and maybe able to avoid lines at things.

So if you live in Missouri, in the Branson or St. Louis area, and know of a thing that kids ages 3-13, me, and a crabby adult who doesn't like much, would like to do that is free or cheap..... let me know.

Book Review: Pieces of Us

Despite how many books I've been reading lately, I'm STILL behind on my Goodreads goal. Which is insane but man- I'm trying. I picked this one up because I needed a quick read and that it was.

Pieces of Us (Confessions of the Heart #3) - A. L. Jackson

Maxon Chambers has a way of stealing all the attention. 

All my affection, and all my dreams. 

What I needed to remember was he’d stolen my good judgment and my virginity, too. 

When he broke up with me, I ran across the country and swore I’d never return to Broadshire Rim. 

But here I am, thirteen years later. 

Maxon is all grown up.

Sexier than sin and more tempting than ever. 

A detective on the Charleston force, he lives on the outside of safety, devoted to protecting the people of his city.

But with the way he’s looking at me now? I’m pretty sure what needs protecting is my heart.

Can we mend the pieces of us? Or will he leave my heart shattered forever . . .

To be upfront, I should mention that I did not read the first two books in this series, and I don't think it really mattered? I know some people said I should but I am too lazy and too broke to do that so I didn't, and I think I'm OK with it and now having read this... I'm not going to bother. A. L. Jackson is one of those hit or miss authors for me and it's either one that I'm going to absolutely love or it's going to be kind of a dud for me, and this wasn't a dud but it's not something I'm going to rave about.

In this book we have Izzy and Maxon. They used to be a couple when they were younger but we have the classic good girl/bad boy mix and they break up. He thinks he's not good enough, she desperate to cling on, and yeah. It ends up she's got a pretty big secret she kept from Maxon and yeah. He's not pleased about it. I'm going to say, this is maybe my #1 pet peeve in a romance- when a woman holds this kind of secret from the guy. I hate it because it's selfish and horrible and I hate it, so when I got to that point in the book I was just about done with it.

I ended up finishing it and the ending was really... I mean come on. Hokey. Not to mention there were a bunch of unanswered questions and I didn't feel like it was finished. It feels like the author kind of lost track of where she wanted to go so tried to wrap it up and it just doesn't work for me. By the time I finished this book I just was kind of over it. I liked Maxon, I really couldn't stand Izzy because she acted like a child and I couldn't deal.

Overall? I'm giving this one 2 out of 5 stars. I do think if you're a big fan of A.L. Jackson you're going to really enjoy this because it's pretty on par with the rest of her books, but for me.... I just really wanted more out of this.

   

I purchased this one on a shameful middle of the night book buying spree. Whoops. All thoughts are my own, and affiliate links are used to help keep this blog going. Happy reading! 

Med Update: Probed and Poked!

I feel like I haven't really given you an update on how things are going with me health wise. It isn't terribly exciting, but I am still plugging along. It's really interesting because life post AFE has been really challenging and I don't think anyone thought this is what my life would be like when they saved me, but here we are. I think a hard thing for me is that there isn't a blueprint to follow for this, it's really dealing with one thing after another as it pops up. Some of us have similar issues, some of us have different issues, some of us have no issues. It's just really frustrating because there isn't one person in the whole world who has the same bag of issues and sometimes I feel really alone. It's hard to not have anyone to compare things with and talk to about it, and maybe get advice or suggestions from them.

Anyways.

Some of the things I've been handling are the same as other people so that's been helpful. I had to have my follow up endoscopy and a colonoscopy recently. I don't know if I blogged about it last year and I can't find it if I did, but last year I had a panic attack during an endoscopy. It wasn't the procedure itself, it was laying on a table for twenty minutes waiting for anesthesia, and it just reminded me of dying on the table during my AFE and Lucy's birth, and I couldn't handle it well.

So this year I was a little anxious about it and I wanted to just get through it. But it turns out that was nothing compared to colonoscopy prep. I knew going into it it was going to be horrible but man.

They aren't joking when they tell you that.

I barely got through it. I threw up more than I ever have in my entire life. It was horrible. It was 4 liters of drink and I only made it through just shy of 3 liters, I took 3 laxatives, a Linzess, and took some Miralax and I swear- I pooped once. Literally. Almost nothing came out so I was so worried I wouldn't be able to do the procedure and god----I couldn't even do the drink again. I couldn't. 

So the day of, I was so anxious and I just wanted to be done. I got prepped, all of my questions answered, they take my blood to check my potassium and blood sugar levels (because of my diabetes insipidus) and we enjoyed the fact they just kind of left it there. It was "extra" and I don't know why but I kept laughing and laughing at that. 

My doctor had an emergency so my procedure ended up being delayed almost three hours, so we got to watch cable TV which is basically making this feel like a damn spa. 

Overall, the procedure went OK. Despite my worries, apparently my colon and intestines were empty so where the hell it all went, I'll never know, because it didn't come out of me. Which really, that makes me a little angry because I drank all of that for nothing. Gross.

The purpose of my procedures was to follow up from last year's endoscopy to check any changes with my Barrett's Esophagus. As it turns out, it looks like a little different so they took biopsies of that. I have gastritis and they took biopsies of that area as well. I was having trouble swallowing as of late so he ended up stretching my esophagus and so far, that's really been helpful. The colonoscopy resulted in finding polyps so those were taken out and a few areas biopsied so now I wait. I go into the office in a couple of weeks so I'm hoping those all come out OK.

The cool thing though is the lead anesthesiologist came in to introduce herself and tell me how the procedure was going to go. But she mentioned that she didn't know my name or face, but she knew my case and my medical history, and wanted me to know that my AFE event spurred a lot of education, learning new procedures, and new protocols. I thought it was cool, but Matt said, "Some people hope to do something big in their life, and you did. You alone made a big change that matters to thousands of people." and that was kind of sobering because he was right, but also because that was the most profound thing I've ever heard from him and about me, no less.
***
Other than that, I officially have osteoarthritis which is super excited. She pushed on something by my shoulder and I damn near fell off the chair. So that kind of sucks. BUT! My rheumatoid arthritis seems to not be in a flare right now so I'm happy about that.
***
I continue in therapy. I really look forward to it but I'm realizing I need a LOT more help in other areas. The good part is that I can sometimes recognize things and think of what my therapist would tell me about it. I can sometimes recognize a situation and know that it is bad for me. So I keep trying and I keep plugging along.
***
Weird thing is that when we were in Florida a few years ago I got sick after being in the sun after just a half hour, I thought it was strictly the heat that did it. Turns out, I think it's the actual sun. The other day I sat out in the sun for about 20 minutes and all of a sudden I got really sick, really dizzy, and all of a sudden incredibly tired. I had to go back into the house, get an ice pack, and lay down. I didn't feel "right" the rest of the night and that was awful. So now I'm starting to wonder if there's a reason for this and which doctor I even tell this to. But that's the other annoying part- having doctors in different specialties is really helpful but also I never know who to tell what.

So that's the scoop. Cross your fingers that my biopsies come back boring and normal. I have zero time for a bigger issue, I'm just trying to handle what I have already.