Wednesday, November 14, 2012

That time when I was offered a mustache ride.

So this past weekend was a super fun weekend out with friends for their birthdays. I kind of get excited when my friends have birthdays because it's an excuse to go out AND I get to buy presents.

Three couples were all going to meet on Saturday at the Shout House in Minneapolis for dinner, drinks, and shenanigans. Obviously all three were had. It was supposed to be Matt and I, with Tammy and Chad (who we shared a hotel room with) and then we were all going to meet Emily and Cory. Good stuff. So on Thursday I was at work and our work study Amber pointed out that St. Louis Park (suburb of Minneapolis and subsequently where our hotel was) was pretty much ghetto. She then texted me a crime map that had a disturbing amount of dots. Fortunately for us, it ended up being in a really nice neighborhood near some pretty cool stuff and the hotel was nice.

Oh except for the fact the hallways smelled like the inside of a dumpster. But other than that, it was totally fine.

So here's a tip- if you are going to go to the Shout House I recommend that you get a reservation and then get there before 5. Because we were there around 4:15 and yeah- line already.
 I also recommend that you not even bother with food. It's typical bar food but your waitress isn't going to be very good and it'll take you almost 30 minutes to get your Coke. Not to mention the hour to get your chips and salsa. And then bring you your burger with no ketchup. And then not come back. And then, on top of it all, get everyone's bill wrong. BUT, the plus side is you'll walk out not paying for your husband's beers.
 But the best part, besides hanging out with some of my favorite people and singing along with the pianists and being some of the youngest people there, is that you will see pregnant people drinking beer!
Now some of you might be like, "Oh Sara- she clearly had a sandwich, that's why her belly is like that." And then I will say no, because when she turned a little more, clearly a 3-4 month old belly. I told Tammy I should start carrying around pamphlets on fetal alcohol syndrome or something.

Oh and then there was that awkward moment when a super huge guy with a porn mustache came over, in front of Matt, to tell me that he thinks I'm really hot and him and his friend Ben want to meet me. Of course, the rest of the people at the table crack up because hello- this not only happens all of the time, but this time Matt was RIGHT THERE. So I say that I didn't think my husband would appreciate if I did that, and he proceeds to tell me I'm really pretty, then says he's going to shake my husband's hand. So he does, and I'm standing there like, what the fuck, and he apparently tells Matt he's a really lucky guy and he should keep an eye out. Matt of course says nothing because he's deadpan on everything all of the time, and my friends crack up and keep teasing me about maybe taking a ride on the mustache. Because his friend also had a porno face thing going on and it wasn't working for either of them. But at least I can say I'm consistent when it comes to attracting the best the crowd has to offer.


Andrea said...

I wish you would have gotten a pic of the mustache!!! LOL!

Andrea said...

I wish you would have gotten a pic of the mustache! lol!!

Josie said...

I wish there was a picture of the porn 'stache-man shaking Matt's hand. That would have been fantastic.

Anonymous said... know I love a good mustache story!

Glad you had fun and got to see a pregnant asshole drinking beer. Is it against the law to punch them directly in the face, or do you think, because of the circumstances.....that maybe, JUST MAYBE, they might give you a medal?

If so, I know a pregnant bitch you can punch in the face.

PS: you totally are hot, girlfriend. If I was lesbian, I would try to hit that. Ewwww.....sorry, that came out really creepy and gross. But I am soooooo not gonna delete it. That's how I roll.

middle child said...

And here I was having read only the title why would you not accept a mustache ride?
I flipped back to your last post because I have been really lax on reading lately. I want you to know I taped that poop "poster" on the wall right nest to the toilet. This way, I will know how I am doing.

redmancheyenne said...

Great Blog. Glad I stopped by!

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

SLP is totally ghetto. I'm glad I'll be bypassing that hood on my trek through the cities this week.

Julie H said...

My mother in law drank beer the whole time she was pregnant with my husband. Yeah. Nice. (explains some things maybe ;))

I had a guy try to pick me up at our little corner store bar one day. The next time we went there Scott came too and the guy went over and told him basically the same thing lol. Talk about awkward!