Friday, May 3, 2013

Sewage, Wall-less, and What The Fuck Happened Here?

Today our house was shown to three perspective buyers, we have three showings for tomorrow as well. I'll tell you what- if this joint doesn't sell it won't be because of lack of cleaning and staging. All of my hours watching HGTV are not for waste, bitches.

But because we have so many showings in such a short period of time, it's freaking me out. Like, we might actually have to move.Which- probably should have been on my radar when we you know, listed the house. But then it occurred to me, shit. That means packing, and cleaning a new space, etc. Ugh. This also means that we should probably get our butt in gear to look at what is for sale in our area within our budget.

And it's really sad because we're left with stuff we can't afford but love, stuff we can afford that look scary from pictures, and then three houses that by pictures, we like. They have potential, could be very Matt & Sara. Until of course, you see them in person. And then it's like holy shit. SO GLAD I didn't re-do my kitchen, apparently nobody else gives a shit either. At least I try to make what I have look nice. Here's a recap: (House Hunters style)

1. Desirable neighborhood, split entry: Outside is very cute, nice yard, quiet 'hood, lots of pretty flower potential. Inside, holy no fucking room. Like, no landing to take off shoes/jackets/gear. The living room, kitchen, dining, bath, and 2 bedrooms are upstairs. Family room, another bath, and another room are downstairs. The living room is nice and big, huge window. Kitchen is alright, but the "dining room" is the table shoved in the kitchen. No way could we host holidays or entertain. The rooms are all small, tons of paneling. Oh, the paneling. The bathrooms? Smelled like sewage. The upstairs was worse than downstairs which is odd considering downstairs there is a closet that has nothing but the sewage and water pipes running in it. WEIRD. Oh, and the bathroom downstairs? Disgusting. Oh my god. No way in FUCK would I shower in there. The best part is that they have regular drop ceiling tile in the shower. Which, hello- that gets wet and it's on you. Very much not what you use in a shower. The utility room is a mess, it's freezing in there, and it smells like sewage. So disappointing. It's not even worth considering.

2. Matt's favorite, which I knew would suck: Oh hey- if you're going to say that your house has not been in a flood, perhaps you should finish putting all of the walls back up in your basement. Especially when two of the bedrooms and the family room are supposed to be down there. And maybe cover up the fact that they drilled holes between each stud to drain water. That house is handicapped accessible, has a nice deck, pretty decent upstairs. None of the bathrooms are a full bath, they only had showers, so that was a problem. Kitchen is a bit dated and I didn't like the layout at all. I think Matt held out hope and was going to convince me that this was fixable but then I had to remind him that he hates to put walls up. He hates dry wall and all that goes with it. And it would be a HUGE job. We'd sink $10,000 into it by the time we had everything inspected, installed, and totally livable. And we'd have to do that in order to move in. I'm worried about eating in Florida on our vacation, I don't have $10,000.

3. The weirdo house we're looking at just to see what the fuck is up with it: It's weird. OK, it's actually really cute and honestly? I'm pulling for it. Sure, the layout is absolutely insane with no rhyme or reason. Sure, it needs new siding, soffet and fascia. Sure, the garage is settling and we'd have to see if this is a super horrible thing considering two rooms and a landing are above it/connecting it to the house. Sure, the kitchen needs to be updated a little and I don't know why there is blue carpet in the dining room and in no other room. But you know what? It's double the size of our house. It has TEN closets, not including what's in the bedrooms. It has a fenced in yard, a cute patio/deck area, BALCONY off the master bedroom, weird craft room, gigantic workshop in the basement, and a family room in the basement. No signs of flooding though! It does need work. It's the cheapest on our list. I'm kind of rooting for it. I've got a feeling about it. It feels very much like home.

So... we'll see. I have to look on the realtor websites to see if anything new is out there but the pickings are SLIM. Unless I win the lottery or want to live in the ghetto.


Ruth said...

I really don't understand what some people do with their floors. All the rooms in my house have a gigantic square of linoleum glued in the middle of the room. We we tear up the carpet, it is either still there or you can see where it used to be. I don't know what these people were thinking.
That house sounds like it has good potential.

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

That last house sounds interesting, assuming the garage isn't in danger of collapse & taking half the house with it. The useful thing though is that if it is the seller can be persuaded to fit it or give you money off to cover the cost of fixing it, because once they know something like that they are legally required to disclose it to potential buyers (at least in VA) & most people will hear "garage about to collapse & take 2 bedrooms with it" and run the other way. The fact that you are not puts you in a position of strength.

Steff said...

This makes me not ever want to buy a house! haha I hope you get the one you are rooting for, or something even better!

Unknown said...

You reminded me of when I mention to my husband about his not criticizing my watching HGTV (when he bitches about everything else) and he commented that at least I was learning useful stuff that would help us in the future lol.

Gini said...

The last house sounds promising! Double the size is AWESOME. The insane layout can become endearing with time. :)