Monday, October 28, 2019

Weight loss challenge: progress and one goal met!

I honestly wish I had a photo of the time my pants almost pulled all the way down in the middle of Target because Lucy would not stop tugging on them, but I don't.

The significance of that story though is that my pants almost fell off, and that's something that has not happened in like... years. I can't even remember. I've been slumming it in my size 16 and that's the biggest size I've ever wore in my life, so the silver lining is I've never gone beyond that.

Now I am in 14. In most brands. We all know that depending on the brand and the store, you can either be a size 6 or 22, you just don't know. You go in never knowing for sure you just have a general guideline in which to start when trying things on, and that's completely depressing. (I can't remember if I've ever talked about the time that I had a complete sob session in the dressing room of Maurices. It wasn't even that long ago, I don't think. I mean, maybe like 5+ but my sense of time is skewed so don't listen to me, but it was bad.)

I had purchased a pair of jeans and two tops from Torrid online that I forgot about completely because it takes so freaking long for your stuff to come. That's a rant for another day and maybe I'm spoiled by Amazon Prime, but the time it takes to get stuff from places is unbelievable. I am that person that if I am ordering it online it's because I actually need it yesterday. It means I have looked everywhere locally available, can't find it, need it, and I'm resorting to purchasing online. I hate, hate, hate buying clothes online because I really need to try things on. Example: I bought three tops online from Walmart and not one of them fit. Not even close even though I used the measurement table for each top, it isn't close at all. Trying to return things to Walmart that you bought online is ridiculous because it literally can't find my order. Even when I click the link, they can't find it. I can't return it to the store, I have to do it online. I can't do that unless I can see the order and the "start a return" button. Which I can't see at all.

Alas, the whole thing is annoying as hell.

Along with the smaller pants size though, is my weight! On my home scare I had been hovering around 215 lbs. and that's fine. The last three weeks or so, I'm between 207-209, so that's progress. My goal was to lose 5 lbs this year and I actually did it! It's kind of nice to have hit the goal with time left over so I obviously have to maintain that.

I am mostly limiting the quantity of food that I eat, not necessarily what I'm actually eating. I have seen a connection between the Adderrall and not feeling hungry. The days I've taken it I almost feel nauseous when I sit down to eat so I definitely eat much less. I can understand how people who take this stuff every day to function end up being rail thin because it's definitely a side effect. I take it very sparingly because I'm scared to get addicted to something so I try to only take it on days that I'm going to a concert and have the long drive there and back, on days where I'm completely non-functional and I can't nap and have to watch the kids. Most of the time I can just take a nap and if I'm down for 4+ hours, it's not a crisis. I can't say it works amazingly well, and I definitely don't feel anymore awake, but I don't feel like I'm going to collapse and fall asleep right there and then. It's exhaustion I can limp through, basically. (Ironically, I'm typing this as I'm totally tired and ready for a nap but it's like 2:15 p.m. and I can't nap now if I want to cook supper for everyone so now I have to be like a zombie until bed time. Poor planning on my part, for sure.)

All that to say that while the Wellbutrin I'm on has a side effect of appetite suppression, it doesn't work at all, but the Adderrall does. Which I have to mention to my psychiatrist this week when I see him.

Other than that, it's getting colder outside so I don't know how much longer I'll be walking outside. I really need to get myself in the habit of walking in the morning when the girls are both at school but usually I'm so tired (see above) and so I don't do much of anything. Motivation is definitely struggle right now for sure.


Shooting Stars Mag said...

Congrats on making your weight loss goal for the year! That's awesome. I don't really have a set goal for this year, but I have mile markers that I'd like to hit. One at a time, so it's not like "I want to lose 20 pounds" because that's a lot and will take a long time. But yeah, I need to be active more, and eat better. I'm not doing BAD on either of these, but I don't know...need to figure something out so I can start losing. It's tough. My motivation tends to suck too - and I'm always tired. haha


Unknown said...

You go girl !! I know what it's like to suffer these weight gains as a side effect of medication. Any amount you lose is a success !

Beth (Coffee Until Cocktails) said...

This is awesome Sara, way to go on hitting that goal! I hear you on walking outside, I just started a walking program in September and I don't know how much longer I'll be able to walk outside too. Hoping for a little bit yet but this is Minnesota after all!