Laundry room update: DIY gone bad.

Honestly, if this were anyone else's house it would be funny but because it's mine it's just sad and tragic. Yes, we are STILL trying to get this mother fucking laundry room done and every step forward is really seven steps backwards. And lots of swears.

For you newbies out there, please go here to see what the laundry room started out as.

One of the biggest problem with the laundry room, aside from the ghetto sink, is the door. Our laundry room is right off of the kitchen and off of the laundry room is a really hideous, purple, uninsulated back porch. In the winter it gets so cold in there that the actual back door stops functioning. (Matt assures me he is pretty sure he fixed that but time will tell.) In order to save ourselves from hypothermia the door between the laundry room and the back porch needs to be an exterior door. Which, no big deal.

I once again sprung money on Matt during a Home Depot trip and he was again, not impressed. Especially as he's trying to fit an exterior door into my mini van on what had been so far, the coldest day of the fall and it was super windy. It also probably didn't help that both kids were crabby, I had to pee, and we're all telling him to hurry the fuck up, we're hungry.

He's a good sport. He sure is.

Anyways.

You can imagine that he was equally impressed when I told him that YAY, you can install that bitch today. The thing with Matt is that you have to almost be really mean and yell at him to get the project done RIGHT AWAY otherwise it'll sit in the garage and he'll likely burn it in a bonfire and then think maybe it wasn't a good idea. (You laugh, but any one of my friend can tell you about the time he randomly burned our fence. True story.)

So Matt started taking down the old door. Easy peasy. Only to realize that the door? Was never actually installed. And by that, I mean that it was screwed into short pieces of random cut wood, and the wood was just kind of there.

Which completely explains why the door never functioned properly and you sometimes thought the wall was going to come down when you opened the door. Because the wall actually COULD have come down when you opened the door.

Lots of swears started happening and then Matt made his first run of the day back to Menards to obviously get more wood. Apparently, he would have to rebuild the entire wall.

Guess what Matt really hates doing? Building and repairing walls. Only because he hates drywall and sanding and painting and building a wall leads to that.

 So this is door removed. You see above the door how there is literally no support above it so the door doesn't bow over time?

This is the door and frame gone. See? No bracing above the door, nothing to the side, nothing. Matt was not happy.

So lots of swearing, measuring, cutting and bracing the door and making sure it's level, and it's installed.

Of course, the deadbolt set we bought had an issue. We had it keyed to match our other house keys but when Matt started putting it in (at 7:30 p.m.- keep in mind this project started around 1 p.m.) he noticed the screws and the switch plate were gone. So poor Matt had to race to Home Depot before they closed and then all was right in the world.

But the best part is while Matt is bitching about how everything in our house was done so fucking half assed and horrible I came along and reminded him that HE was the one who wanted a fixer upper. HE wanted to make it ours and do all this home improvement stuff so really? He's living his dream right now.

I was almost killed with a power tool at that moment. You see, when Matt's stressed and pissed off he does not appreciate my witty humor. It just makes him more angry but makes me laugh.

So obviously, I win.

But that was like two weeks ago now and I don't think I need to even tell you that the drywall hasn't gone up yet but he assures me he has everything he needs. I also don't think I need to tell you I don't believe him.

The moral of the story folks is that if you don't know how to install a door? Don't do it yourself. Because the next homeowner will wish he had your current address so he could beat the hell out of you.

The only halfway ghetto laundry room.

I'm not going to lie, if we did nothing else with our laundry room, the current state of it is a complete 180 from what it was. Let us all click on that link and re-live what once was.

I also cannot state my proud enthusiasm at running water, a washing machine that no longer drains into my sink, and the fact Matt got it right on the first try.

But you know I settle for nothing less than perfection, so although Matt feels his great strides in that room qualify him for another 7 year break on it, I continue with my encouraging project management skills to keep him going. We still need a door, a ceiling, flooring, another cabinet, and more paint, but other than that we're kicking ass.

 Oh god, isn't it glorious? I would by lying if I told you I haven't petted the sink every day since it's been in. I love it so. Plus, my walls are going to be a much lighter yellow color so it doesn't quite look like urine. I also have some plants and pictures of my kids being cute that are going to go on the ledge above the sink- it was still drying on it's second coat of paint. I have pulls for the cupboards, but I just haven't gotten to it yet. Mostly because I'm not sure if I love them enough.

 But we (and when I say "we" always know that I really mean "I") decided to switch out the wire rack shelving for actual cupboards. It just looks so much cleaner in here and it'll be nice once the other cabinet is on the other wall.

And Matt wanted me to show off the home improvement project he hasn't done in the seven years we've lived here so that you don't all feel like he's a total slacker.

We have shiny new house numbers on a plaque on our house. Versus the rusty version nailed to our ghetto wood steps which will be gone next summer- mark my words. And the 5 fell off a few years ago so it looked like our address was 716. Classy. But now we're all fancy with numbers that match the light fixtures.

(Which you know was my doing, because if Matt had his say the numbers would be the cheapest brass pieces of shit or even worse, the reflective sticker ones. Shudder.)

The Laundry Sink Project. Or, what happens when you nag a person to death.

I've been all talk and no bark for seven years on this laundry sink project. Some people asked me if it would ever happen. Some people asked me why don't I just do it? To that I say yes, and not on your life. I barely passed shop class two years in a row and that was only because I stole someone else's project and passed it off as my own.

And I don't feel bad because I have never once needed to make a wooden car or a metal box in my life so suck it.

But one thing I'm known for is getting shit done. In this case, I think I drove Matt to the brink of crazy and he started the project that (of course) has turned out to be much larger than anticipated.

It started with a good stare down with old sink. As it turns out, a concrete sink is heavy as fuck and I could not lift said bitch with Matt's help. Within seconds we knew we needed help. Thankfully, my brother came over to help and the sink is now sitting upright in my backyard in true white trash fashion. It's a long haul to the side of the garage, folks.

 Before Travis got here, Matt decided that the wall needed to go. Considering one wall is already gone as it the ceiling, I figure why the hell not?

 It's a hot fucking mess up in here. At this point, Matt took out the old water hookups, replaced the copper that was in the wall because (shocker) it was not done right and it was old and yeah. It was just easier to replace. So Matt replaced EVERYTHING in the house.

 Do you see those water hooker uppers? They are new, they are shiny, the hot and cold are now on the right sides, and they are ready to be put to use!

 Matt put the new sheet rock in, we had a heated discussion on the cabinet placement and we've decided to do this but there's trouble brewing on that (another post) already and he was busy hooking shit up. He also then went under the house where two hours of swears and alternating banging and sawing was happening. The kids and I left because it obviously was not going well under there and I didn't want to be here when a sewage pipe was ruptured.

As it turns out, it took Matt two hours and four tool batteries to cut through a cast iron something or another that water flows into so he could then replace all of the deteriorating plumbing. Keep in mind, Matt was in a crawl space with only enough room to hold his power tool thing and having to wear a jumpsuit... in 104 degree weather with 100% humidity.

Obviously, my decision to leave and go shopping was really smart on my part.

But it worth it because folks?

My washing machine will no longer dump its water into my sink! NO! It has its own little pipe that will now take water wherever water goes when it goes down this pipe. The other bonus is that all of Matt's plumbing worked on the first try. Sure, I had no water for almost eight hours and his method of shoving a dish cloth down the pipe so the house doesn't smell like sewage didn't work, and we now need more drywall, flooring, and an upper cabinet not to mention a new door so he can finish the walls to complete this project, but I have this fancy water sucker downer tube. I also have a new sink! Which is not attached to the counter top, functioning, or has a faucet but god dammit- my future is ghetto sink sludge free!

In other words, the project has been started, indefinitely stalled because of everything we still needed but Matt forgot about, and my house is a fucking mess. But, I can at least do laundry and not scoop out sludge. I'm still marking it as a win.