Week One

Is it weird we start the countdown all over? It kind of feels weird. But Penelope is one week and one day old as of right now. I wanted to get this post out yesterday, which would have been her due date, but I actually didn't leave the couch and I haven't mastered typing with an infant yet.

So let's take a look at what Penelope's first week of life has been like.

We learned that Penelope absolutely, will not, sleep on her back. The closest you can get to that is doing it while holding her slightly inclined or on a boppy or something. Needless to say, most of her naps take place while being held. Thankfully, Matt wins dad and husband of forever because he has done 100% of the night feedings and screaming fits of refusal to sleep in her crib. He's logged in a lot of hours on the recliner in the living room. He goes back to work on Monday, which means I'm basically screwed.

Jackson has taken his role as big brother pretty seriously. He runs when she needs a diaper change, but seems to be fine with crying. Which is weird. He's slightly annoyed that she can't do anything other than lay there.

Olivia is a great big sister as well. She is all about helping and while she's a little hesitant to do anything, she likes to watch and see what I'm doing.

So far, the only family picture we have. It's really bizarre to see so many people in the photo. But by gosh, it's still kind of amazing.

Sometimes, Penelope looks cross eyed and I kind of love it. It usually only happens when she's trying to poop. Which makes it even funnier.

She won't sleep on her back but she's totally OK being completely squished up. Explain THAT, people. Explain it.

She had her first doctor appointment on Monday. She was basically a champ the entire time. She is back up to her birth weight (8 lbs, 15.5 ounces) and she grew 3/4 of an inch.

She also went on her first walk outside. She has no idea since she slept through it.

The pets have all gotten used to Penelope. The only one who seems a little depressed is Twinky. Probably because he's not getting all of the love in the world right now since usually either Matt or I are holding Penelope. But he has now started coming near her and has licked her feet a few times. Yesterday he actually sat by and then started laying down by her. At least until she kicked him in her sleep.

Today I managed to get out of the house by myself with her. Well, I've taken the kids to school each morning on my own with Penelope, so maybe that's not a totally accurate statement. But today I stopped at my old bookstore job to say hello and show Penelope off. I got home just in time for her next feeding, so that worked out really well.

As for me, I'm alright. I'm not great, but I'm also not at my worst. I don't know if I have post-partum depression or if it's just baby blues but I definitely have moments where I feel overwhelmed with life and cry in the bathroom. But then I also told a friend that this is the first time where I ever considered seriously not going back to work. Like I can't get enough of her and I just want to soak up every single second with her. Which is a really strange feeling, to be honest. I was never that mom who wanted to be a stay at home mom and I would dread being home with them for long stretches by myself. But this time... I don't know. It just feels different. Maybe it's my brain mentally preparing me to be totally done with babies and telling me I better enjoy it now? Who knows. But it's definitely something I think about.

Physically I feel like a mess. My back is killing me. I cannot emphasize that enough. The back pain I'm experiencing is really horrible. I don't know if it's from my epidural, if it's from two shit nights of sleep in the hospital on what is the equivalent to a kindergarten nap mat, if I pulled something while delivering her, or all of the above. But it is absolutely horrible. My vagina is now super itchy right where my stitches are. That's super annoying. I also remembered why five days of stool softeners is a dumb idea. My whole intestine system is not back to normal so I kept taking them thinking I should maybe get back on a pooping schedule. Well. Let's just say, there was a critical situation in the middle of an 8 am feeding yesterday and I learned quickly how to go to the bathroom while feeding a baby. Which sounds disgusting but trust me when I tell you it was an emergency. Nonetheless, I feel like I lost maybe five pounds right there. And I am not taking any more stool softeners because that was not a fun situation. Had I been out and about in the world, it could have been just like that scene in Bridesmaids where Mya Rudolph's character craps herself in the middle of the street. Imagine if that happened in Target. Mortifying.

Anyways.

Week two will be hard. Matt goes back to work on Monday. I expect to be a hot mess of tears, boredom, and loneliness. Maybe it won't be so bad. But it's been really great to hand her off to Matt so I can have a good cry in the bathroom. So we'll see. I expect to get more weepy as the weekend progresses knowing I'm on my own on Monday. This is maybe the only time in my life where I'm such a lame ass and dependent on someone. I really need Matt for my mental health sometimes, but I also recognize the bills need to be paid and having one week with no overtime is going to be AWFUL on his next paycheck. So here's hoping we don't starve.

Penelope has arrived!

I feel like such a slacker for not getting this out sooner for my blog readers, but I promise you I have a good reason.

Penelope is here and she is adorable. And amazing. I seriously can't even.

It all started Wednesday. When I woke up on Wednesday morning I very clearly had the "bloody show", though it wasn't as much as I thought I was going to have. But I felt alright, so I continued on with my day. I went for a very short walk with Twinky and when I came home, had even more blood, so I figured I had better double check my bags and be ready.

Around 2 p.m., I started having contractions though they weren't bad at all. They were similar to what I was having the night before so I didn't think much of it. I text Matt and told him to come home at 4 because the kids had a birthday party at 4:30 to go to and I didn't think I'd be up for driving them. I picked the kids up from school at 3:15 and had two contractions on the drive home that were painful enough that I white knuckled it the rest of the way home. Once home, I got the kids ready for the party and started timing them.

Matt came home at 4, got the kids to the party by 4:30, and was home by 5. Once he got home at 5, I told him that he needed to call his parents and have them drive into town because this was it and that he needed to get himself ready, I wasn't sure how much longer I was going to wait it out at home. So he proceeds to take the longest shower in history while I'm downstairs trying every relaxation technique I've been practicing. He comes down, totally nonchalant and I'm hugging my exercise ball for my life and he starts dicking around on his mom's laptop that he's working on. I had him call my mom and let her know we were leaving for the hospital and that she could meet us there, and then we called his parents and said we were leaving NOW.

Then I embarked on the longest car ride of my life, all the while doing my breathing and visualization and literally none of it is working because this really hurts and he's not driving as fast as I would have been, and I felt like I was going to have her in the car.

Thankfully, I did not.

We got to the hospital at 6 and after what I'm sure was a comical view of me trying to cross the busy street mid-contraction and stopping cars in their tracks, I got settled into our lovely room with a view of the lake. Turns out, I was dilated to 4 cm and 60% effaced at that point.

This is obviously between contractions. 

It was quickly after this that I decided hypnobirthing is a bunch of shit and I am not cut out for that. Not one of my relaxation playlists were doing anything, breathing through them wasn't helping, and I figured I am not a hero, there is absolutely no reason to be in that kind of pain and hate the experience. So I called for an epidural and that was able to happen at 8. Which by then, I was 100% effaced and dilated to 6cm so thank god because I didn't think I could make it another minute. 

The really great thing? Is that I got a GREAT epidural because I still had full use of my feet and legs, something I hadn't had with my other two epidurals, so I was so happy about that. I definitely didn't feel like I couldn't do much, it essentially took the edge off though I could still feel abdominal tightening, I could feel the waves of the contractions, it just wasn't painful at all. Easily the best labor experience I have ever had. 

By 9:30, I was dilated to 9.5 and I felt glorious. They started wheeling things into the room and getting everything set up. My doctor wasn't on call that night so I was going to get whoever and I'm always totally fine with that. So that doctor comes in and asks me to do a practice push just to get the hang of it and I ended up moving her quite a bit. He announces that I am a pro and tells me that not only am I at 10cm, but she made pretty decent progress down so this won't take long. I did say I wanted to just wait until I felt more of an urge to push, and that came at 10:30. As it turns out, I am a pushing champion. Between my mad pushing skills and my uterus being a rock star, after 6 sets of pushing and 20 minutes, Miss Penelope Rose Mary Strand was born at 10:52 p.m. on Wednesday, April 29.

The best part of all of it was that not only did I feel her come out (unlike my other two), but I was angled just right that I got to see her come out. And immediately, this girl was so alert. She hardly cried. They put her right on my chest and I was in love.

She just stared at me intently like she just totally knew I was her mama.

The strange thing? This was the first time I ever wanted to hold a totally goopy baby on my chest. Usually I'm fully grossed out by it but I wanted her immediately. 

After a little while I had them weigh her. 

 Turns out, Penelope is a god damn MOOSE. She was 8 pounds, 15.5 ounces and 20 inches long. To give you perspective? Olivia was 7#, 10oz, 21 inches and Jackson was 7#, 7oz, 19 inches long. I absolutely KNEW she was bigger. Did I not say this repeatedly? Poor kid literally had no room left in me.

The great thing is that I think she looks like Olivia, but has Jackson's personality. So far, she's really very mellow and hardly cries. She's very alert and watchful, she enjoys warm bottles and constant snuggles. She nuzzles herself on your neck or chest and seriously, your heart melts.

Matt did amazing as well. He didn't get woozy, he didn't pass out, he didn't even feel faint (unlike with Jackson) and he did a great job counting to 10 for me while I pushed. So that was great.

We got to come home yesterday (Friday) and it was weird. I had a lot of mixed emotions. I felt so great Wednesday and most of Thursday. By Thursday evening I found myself randomly crying, to the point where I literally couldn't stop. I cried on the way home on Friday. I cried a good portion of Friday evening, to be honest. I was doing really good today but then early evening I started crying again. I don't really feel sad or anything, it's just that I can't stop. I think Matt's worried, so I am going to call the doctor on Monday. I thought once I got home I'd be better but no, it's just more of the same. Matt will take this entire next week off so that will help me a lot. I'm scared for when he goes back to work and I have to just hold it together. I can't fall apart because I've got the other two kids that need me too. So I'm going to do my best.

I have tons more pictures for you, including from when Olivia and Jackson came to visit and meet Penelope. Seriously, they are so damn sweet. More soon!

His Name is Killian

So, this review has taken me awhile to draft because I've got some varying opinions.

His Name is Killian - Ella Adamian

Killian Stone paints harpies.

Killian Stone is not into vanilla sex.

Killian Stone suffers from mood swings.

Killian Stone has done something very bad.

The day the painter approached her on the bridge and asked her to pose for him was the beginning of a lust Melissa wouldn’t be able to bridle. When he offers her a month of submission, she’s already too captivated to turn him down. His unhinged sexuality lets her explore her own dark fantasies, but his anger outbursts are scary and devastating. As the time goes by, Melissa realizes there’s something more than just irritability and anger. He has done something which doesn’t let him rest. 

So first and foremost, you know that I will read basically anything. There isn't much that freaks me out and I've read some fairly dark material. This is maybe the first book I've read with a BDSM story line in which I was genuinely scared for the female and I genuinely felt uncomfortable. Whereas when people read things like Fifty Shades they say, "that's not a love story" whereas I see it as one. I get exactly what the author was trying to portray and I think she did it well. This book, this book very much is NOT a romance. When it says it has explicit scenes, it's not messing around. There were points in this book where I felt so uncomfortable I seriously debated on putting it down all together because it's beyond what even I am comfortable with. 

BUT. 

I really wanted to know what the hell was up with this guy. Because he goes from nice guy, c harming, and seemingly normal to incredibly angry and terrifying in no time. 

Then we have Melissa, who is seemingly naive to basically everything. She agrees to model for Killian for two weeks and once that's over, she finds herself missing him. So he comes back and basically tells her it's a D/s relationship or nothing and she blindly agrees. The first thing that struck me as odd was at no point was a safe word established so right away I'm scared for her. Because hello, you need a safe word. But she very much wants to learn more about Killian and she finds herself craving him although she at times is also very scared of him. 

I really questioned whether either one of them were right in the head but for very different reasons. I think he opens something up in her she didn't know was there and I think he clearly has disturbing things in his past that prevent him from chilling out. So Melissa starts investigating him because it's clear something isn't right and I won't tell you what she finds but I can say there is a sequel to the book coming. So the story isn't totally over. There's more to come and to be frank, I'm a little scared .

If you think you are up for a challenge, I really want to hear what you think about this. The book is available on Amazon and you can connect with the author on Google+. I am giving this book a reluctant 3 stars. Mostly because if the point of the book was to push the boundaries of what is acceptable of BDSM or to give you a hard limit of what is acceptable to read, it absolutely succeeded. If you haven't read any other BDSM books I do think this will turn you off of them all together and scare you proper. So if you know that going in, you will likely come away from it differently than I did. 

39 weeks: Fake outs and freak outs.

Well lambs, here we are. Week 39 of what feels like the Longest Pregnancy Ever. I can't even believe we are in the last few days of April, it really feels like April just got started but no. We're at the end, which means we're also at the end of this pregnancy. Technically my due date is May 6, but at every doctor visit I hear the hopeful lie of "any day now". I've basically stopped resting these last two weeks because I feel pretty exhausted and anxious. I don't want to wish for the pregnancy to be over because it very well could be my last, but I think every woman hits a point where you are physically, mentally,and emotionally done.

39 weeks. Moo. 

So this week I've been walking quite a bit. The downside of being home all day is that Twinky believes I am at his beck and call all day every day. Which is not going to happen once Penelope is born. But him having to pee all of the time means it gives me incentive to get out and not only walk around but to get some fresh air and sunshine, both of which I'm in desperate need of. So that's been kind of nice. 

The biggest excitement actually came yesterday. Actually, it started in the morning. After I dropped the kids off at school, I came home and had kind of a big breakfast. I'm on a breakfast kick right now. So I eat that, got some blog work done, book review stuff organized, checked my emails, and then Twinky began his daily whining and acting as if his little bladder is going to explode. So I decided that while I normally walk him at lunch time, I'll go a little earlier and maybe get a nap in before picking the kids up from school. So we head out. Almost immediately I realize that what has become my normal two mile walk was not going to happen, I mentally tell myself it's going to be a one miler. So we start off. I get to the point where I am about eight blocks from my house when I realize that the side cramps that were annoying but not bad were quickly turning to worst-cramps-I've-ever-had. And not contractions, but more like the cramps you'd get if you drank a ton of soda and thought you could run a 5K with no issues. So I end up sitting on some stranger's front steps for about 10 minutes all the while calling and texting Matt because I didn't think I'd make it home and I figured he works a mile away, he could take a break and come get me. 

Except he DOESN'T ANSWER HIS DAMN PHONE. Like not at all, folks. NOT AT ALL. 

So after 10 minutes I decide I can't sit here all day and now I had to pee, so I start hobbling. And by hobbling? I mean I looked like one of those Weeble toys (weebles wobble, but they don't fall down) making my way down the street. It takes me almost a half hour to go eight blocks. By the time I get home I think to myself I might actually be starting labor. 

But I wasn't. 

So I decided an hour later to go shopping with my mom and run to the bank. Nothing notable or exciting happens, no cramping, all is well. 

I get home and realize I have zero energy. I have literally done nothing all day and the act of getting up to pee feels like it's just too much. To the point where I wonder if peeing my pants is acceptable. I went to pick the kids up from school and I feel basically like crap. Like every ounce of energy I had was gone. 

By 6pm, I started getting those weird cramps again though I was doing nothing but laying on the couch. They progressively got worse and I could feel them in waves and I think- holy shit, I'm having actual contractions. So I start timing them. They end up being an average of 4 minutes apart, lasting anywhere from 45-60 seconds. But they aren't horribly painful, I can talk through them, I'm not feeling like I really need to take action. But I manage to fold some laundry, move my bag to the door, start the dishwasher, and I figure I'll take a shower and lay down and rest. I knew that they'll either go away or get exponentially worse. 

Well I fell asleep and they apparently went away. I woke up at 4 am to pee and it was then that I realized that nothing had happened and they were gone. Cue disappointment and irrational rage, and possibly some swearing that wakes Matt up. 

I ended up going back to bed and I woke up at 6 and when I went to pee again, my pad had a brownish goo in it and when I wiped it was a light brown. Like the color of a tan crayon, but no blood. But I haven't had anything since. I have had super random contractions and I'm now debating on taking Twinky for a short walk around a block or two or just resting. I did manage to eat breakfast, so I'm waiting until my orange juice needs to be peed out, which should be any minute. 

So that's the fake out portion. 

The freak out portion is where I realized last night my floors are in a terrible state so I also have plans to mop it today. I figure between that and a short walk, if that doesn't get labor going I don't know what will. I'm scheduled for my 39 week appointment tomorrow.... so we'll see if it's an office visit or her delivering baby Penelope. 

Keep your fingers crossed! 

Narvla's Celtic New Year

I've been on a roll with reading, can you tell? Lots more to come!

Narvla's Celtic New Year - Therese Gilardi

Narvla’s life is as precisely choreographed as the routines that have made her a national step-dancing champion. She has a loyal best friend, a devoted boyfriend, and a lock on admission to her dream college, the University of Notre Dame. Until her mother is named U.S. Ambassador to Ireland, and her life unravels. First Narvla receives a disturbing picture of her boyfriend and her best friend. Then she struggles to qualify for the Irish elite step-dancing squad, and her grades plummet.

But the biggest obstacle in Narvla’s new life is Dublin Boy, a cheeky musician with a disdain for academics and a distrust of Americans. Although Narvla is upset when she’s paired with Dublin Boy for the most important semester of her life, her real concern is the growing attraction she feels toward him. As the Celtic New Year unfolds, Narvla is pushed to abandon her lifelong need for control and embrace the charm of the unexpected. 

When I started reading this book, I wasn't totally sure how much I was going to love it. It starts kind of slow for me, but it does pick up, so don't give up so quickly on it. Narvla basically has the perfect life. She's a dance champion, she has great friends and an even better boyfriend and she's super smart. Then it all basically goes to crap when her mother's job forces them to relocate to Ireland, which let's be honest, not the worst place to be relocated to. At least you have a rich culture and history to take it and countless opportunities to be a tourist where you live. But the move is the catalyst for everything previously great about her life going to crap. And it does. In big ways. But then she meets Colin. Who is a bit of a jerk. He's that kid in high school who is too cool for school and comes off as an arrogant asshole because that's basically what he is. He is the complete opposite of the boyfriend she had at home, but since that's clearly not working out, she develops a romance with Colin, though reluctantly .

The really great thing is the author does a great job with character development because we obviously see Narvla growing into the young woman she's meant to be and we see all of these internal changes in her, the real challenge in this story is Colin. He is introduced as a character that is VERY hard to like or even root for, but the author really does a bang up job developing him. He goes from asshole to someone you find endearing once you realize how his start in life sets him up for shutting others out. And I really did not want to like him, I didn't want to root for their relationship and then I was forced to agree, it's kind of adorable. 

Dammit. 

The only gripe I have with the book is that some of the conversations are a bit too teenager for me. Which I understand sounds ridiculous considering this is a YA geared book. I know. But I wonder if because I've read quite a few YA books that sound more adult that it was hard for me to look past that? But overall? Solid book. You can pick this one up on Amazon. But as always, if you want to learn more about the book and the author, head over to Therese's website. 

Re Jane

I'm kind of on a roll with books considered to be "re-telling's" of classic literature, aren't I? Well this one is a re-telling of Jane Eyre, which I realize is going to make you love it or hate it.

Re Jane - Patricia Park

Journeying from Queens to Brooklyn to Seoul, and back, this is a fresh, contemporary retelling of Jane Eyre and a poignant Korean American debut
 
For Jane Re, half-Korean, half-American orphan, Flushing, Queens, is the place she’s been trying to escape from her whole life. Sardonic yet vulnerable, Jane toils, unappreciated, in her strict uncle’s grocery store and politely observes the traditional principle of nunchi (a combination of good manners, hierarchy, and obligation). Desperate for a new life, she’s thrilled to become the au pair for the Mazer-Farleys, two Brooklyn English professors and their adopted Chinese daughter. Inducted into the world of organic food co-ops, and nineteenth–century novels, Jane is the recipient of Beth Mazer’s feminist lectures and Ed Farley’s very male attention. But when a family death interrupts Jane and Ed’s blossoming affair, she flies off to Seoul, leaving New York far behind.

Reconnecting with family, and struggling to learn the ways of modern-day Korea, Jane begins to wonder if Ed Farley is really the man for her. Jane returns to Queens, where she must find a balance between two cultures and accept who she really is. Re Jane is a bright, comic story of falling in love, finding strength, and living not just out of obligation to others, but for one’s self.

I'm going to be honest, the first group of people I think that will enjoy this book are people who are Asian and have family who identifies with the old country more than they do America. Because the entire book kind of circles around that with Jane being half-Korean and half-American, but living with her very Korean uncle and his family since her parents are long gone. I also have to be honest that I am not a huge Jane Eyre fan and I can't even lie and tell you I finished it. There was a summer a few years ago where I planned on reading several classics to say I did it and I failed miserably and decided maybe it was a good thing I didn't go to college to study literature after all. But this book? I enjoyed. It's funny, there are a lot of one-liners in it that made me laugh and I kind of felt sorry for Jane. 

Her uncle is kind of a jerk to her but it's hard to tell if it's because he doesn't actually like her and only took her on in his family out of familial duty versus wanting to make sure she grew up OK, or if his personality is such that he's just that way with everyone. She's kind of like Harry Potter in a sense. Sure, they take care of and provide for her but they don't really want her there and they hold her mother's indiscretions against her, though her mother has been dead for years. So it comes as no surprise that as soon as an opportunity to leave her uncle's house comes up, she takes it despite not being totally sure she wants to do it. 

Which is how she becomes an au pair for a Brooklyn family who recently adopted a daughter from China. Her "interview" and the discovery that not all Asian looking people hail from China, is kind of hilarious and then you immediately feel bad for laughing because it feels like you're laughing at a minority. But I wasn't! I promise! 

The book itself is very chick-lit and modern, something that would appeal more to a younger generation versus the original Jane Eyre. I can't draw comparisons between the two obviously, but I think even if this wasn't being marketed as a re-telling, it would be a great read for anyone. It's engaging, it keeps you wondering what's going to happen to Jane, and the family dynamics of her uncle's home versus the Mazer-Farley family (who she is an au pair for) are so completely different and seeing Jane navigate the two is kind of hilarious. I mean it's like being in two totally different countries though you're only really in different boroughs. And of course, Jane meets a guy. I can't tell you what happens with said guy because it's a major spoiler, but it really is refreshing for an author to say, "You know what? I'm not going with the obvious, and I'm not going the easy route because every one else does." and ends up doing something that makes you want to high five her. THANK YOU for not going the obvious route. 

You can get your very own copy of Re Jane either on Amazon or Barnes & Noble. And of course, if you want to know more about Patricia Park, head over to her website! 

Still Pregnant. Maybe she's stuck.

Oh yes, with only nine days until my due date, each and every day feels like it should be a "Yes, I'm still fucking pregnant." post. Clearly, it's a good thing she's still incubating if she feels she needs to do so a little bit longer. Obviously I don't want her born before she is fully baked. But I do know that my pelvic region hurts a whole lot right now and that third babies are no joke.

I can't even tell you how many times I've searched Google for ways to induce labor. We've done sex, I've done copious amounts of walking, I've eaten spicy foods, and I even tried raspberry leaf tea. I had two sips and called it good because I don't like hot drinks in general and tea is foul anyways. I also didn't do castor oil because that sounds horrific and then I think, meh- what's a few more days? The only promising thing at this point is that I can tell things are happening. Kind of. I'm a teensy bit dilated (as of last Wednesday, maybe I'm more now?), I've lost my mucus plug and one evening it was streaked with brown so I got hopeful. Yesterday I had ONE drop of blood. I mean, nothing major but at this point I feel like anything is something and worth getting excited and anxious about. Then Saturday and Sunday evening I had some light cramping. To the point where I thought I had better get to bed early in case I'm awoken at 2am with real awful contractions, but nothing. It's totally disappointing to get up in the middle of the night to pee and realize the cramping is totally gone. Lame.

So at this point, I'm cursing my mandated "rest". My doctor made it seem like I absolutely had to make it to 37 weeks and t hat she wanted me to take it easy. And I hate taking it easy, so I really struggled but then I thought well, I don't want a premature baby if I can  help it. But now here we are and nothing. It's like she's decided she's just fine in there and who cares if I feel like my pelvic bone is going to shatter. No big deal.

In the meantime, I'm just making sure everything is ready. The house is as clean as it gets. I could and should mop the kitchen floors and the bathroom ones as well. Maybe I'll do that this evening once the kids are in bed. A lot of the projects I wanted to get done are done. I just didn't get to do my South Dakota vacation scrapbook, but that's because I haven't had money to get the photos printed. So that'll get done when it gets done. I am caught up with book reviews and that's always a good feeling, for sure!

This weekend I had the kids help me pack the hospital bag for Penelope. Here's what we came up with:

1. A package of wipes. 

2. A couple of newborn diapers. 

3. Two receiving blankets. If she's anything like her siblings, she'll be a spitter at every feeding. YAY. 

4. A thicker, fluffier blanket to cover her up in the car seat. 

5. Jackson gave her his blue dog toy. That was his car seat toy when he was a baby, loved it. 

6. Olivia insisted we bring two cute rattles in case Penelope gets bored and wishes to be entertained. 

7. Her going home outfit, of course. It's hard to see, but it's a cream outfit with little gold hearts all over it, with a mint green cardigan and mint green headband. And of course, super cute warm booties. 

That bag is in the van, ready to go, along with her car seat. My hospital bag is far less exciting, but that also is ready to go. We even have a third bag ready to go full of kid activity things should we have to go and don't have a sitter readily available. Olivia and Jackson will have snacks and things to do in the family room until someone is able to come sit with them or take them home. 

So we patiently wait. Still. 

*sigh*