Weight Loss Challenge (week 16)

I can't even lie, I only worked out once last week. I did day 2 of the 21 Day Fix program and.. I don't want to sound like a nut, but I kind of liked it? I finished the entire 20 minutes so I'm pretty excited that even though I'm not working out more, what I am doing seems to be going well because my stamina is holding up.

Last week was a flurry of my doctor appointments, Lucy's doctor appointment, making a lot of calls and playing phone tag to make more doctor appointments, Jackson had a field trip, and Lucy had her toddler class. (Which I almost didn't go to but I'm glad that I did because she had a really good time and the weather was decent to the incredibly long walk into the building wasn't as bad as usual.)

This coming week (should) be better. Olivia has pictures for dance tonight, no dance tomorrow, Wednesday is nothing, Thursday will be crap because I'm busy ALL DAY, and Friday should be OK. Olivia has a dance competition this weekend so I'll be gone for that.

What do people do when life gets in the way? How do they stick to their workout routine when they are utterly exhausted? I think that's what I'm struggling with right now. The best thing though is that I'm actually really liking the 21 Day Fix workouts so I know if I could just get three (or more) workouts done in a week I'll have the momentum to keep going.

You know what else is going to suck? Easter.

You guys.

These are my weakness. I cannot walk past these in a store and not buy them. Sweet Tart Jelly Beans are maybe the greatest candy I eat over the course of a year. My friend Emily told me about them when we worked together and I wasn't sure because I like Sweet Tarts but they aren't something I'd pick to eat. I'll eat it if someone hands it to me but you know, who craves a Sweet Tart? But these are HEAVEN. I know my weakness so I did the Walmart pickup for my groceries and every thing else this week. But..... I have to make a Target run this week and you guys, I can't be held accountable. I can't and I won't. I'm not kidding, I'm thinking about them and I can actually imagine what they taste like. It's an actual addiction, I know I have a problem.... I'm just not ready to give my jelly beans up. I can't. Probably the worst thing is now I know I can buy them in bulk on Amazon all year long. If these ever get discontinued I might actually die. 

So... that's how my week is starting off. Thinking about jelly beans knowing full well I don't need them. What's YOUR ultimate craving? 

Book Review: 100 Parks, 5000 Ideas

If you're like me, you are 100% over winter. Done. I couldn't be any more done. I'm already looking forward to sunny days and ways to fill those up with adventure. This book came at the perfect time because that's exactly what I'm doing - planning a small summer vacation with my family and we want to road trip it somewhere.

100 Parks, 5000 Ideas

In the sequel to the best-selling 50 States, 5,000 ideas, National Geographic turns to the United States' and Canada's most pristine--and adventure-filled--national, state, and city parks with 5,000 ideas for the ultimate vacation. Showcasing the best experiences, both obvious and unexpected, each entry in this robust guide provides an overview of the park, detailed travel advice, fascinating facts, insider knowledge about wildlife, and expert tips for hiking, biking, camping, and exploring. From the geysers of Yellowstone National Park to the Everglades' Nine Mile Pond Canoe Trail and the stunning peaks of Banff and Jasper in Alberta, each page will fuel your wanderlust. Plus, explore the natural beauty tucked away in cities like New York's Central Park and Boston Commons, and find bonus parks with day-trip suggestions to nearby neighbors. Top 10 lists throughout highlight best-of destinations for river trips, monuments, panoramic views, beaches, and more. This comprehensive book provides all the inspiration and information you need to plan your next park visit--and make it a memorable one.

It seems like every year National Geographic comes out with a new resource for those of us desperate to get out of the winter doldrums and planning for our next big adventure. The best part about this book (and all of the others National Geographic gives us) is that they are really well researched, organized well, and they give you stunning photography throughout. You should not plan a trip in the United States without picking this us to get a feel of the place you'll be visiting or maybe deciding where to go in the first place.

The book is broken down by region (New England & New York, The Southwest, The Midwest, American Tropics, etc), and then within those regions it's broken down by state. You'll not only find information on state and national parks but also city parks, forest areas, monuments, and I found a few sanctuaries in here. Even better? Lots of sections have a "Chow Down" area with some well known places to eat the local cuisine and what that place is known for. Also included are "Lay Your Head" areas with some really authentic places to stay that are beyond your chain hotel options. A lot of the park discussions give you tips, like which routes are best through the park, to make planning a day trip less of a headache. Mentioned on the cover, the book tells you when to go to get the best of the destination. I have friends who have gone places to specifically see a great sight only to find out that it only happens over the course of 2-3 months and they have missed it. That's a bummer.

I also mentioned the American Tropics are listed, which was fascinating because I learned a LOT about them and I honestly never considered them as a future vacation destination but they are back on the some day list because they were beautiful and there are a lot of things there that I would be interested in seeing or doing. The book also features Canada, even though it's outside the United States, it's a close neighbor and if you're visiting the northern states you might consider taking a little side trip because their parks are equally beautiful and worth the trip.

Overall? I'm giving this one 5 stars. I really like these guides and I use mine a LOT. My kids really like paging through these, we've used them as a resource for school projects, and we bring them in the car on our trips because they get a say in what we do, too. I highly recommend this one if you're adventurous (or want to be!) and looking for ideas for your next trip!

Lucy versus Iron

I'm going to try to condense a lot of stuff over the last week into a little bit because it's exhausting otherwise. So way back in August, at Lucy's two year check, she had her hemoglobin tested because that's what you do at two. It was a little low, like 10.7 and the target is at least 11. Honestly, I didn't think anything about it, I'm really low all the time and I just assumed she was too. No big. Her doctor thought it was something to correct so she gave us this horrible liquid iron supplement that she for damn sure wasn't taking on its own and anything I mixed it in she would throw up a few minutes later. She couldn't handle it. I, admittedly, gave up and said .3 is not a big deal.

Fast forward to last Monday at her 2.5 year check up and I had forgotten all about the August stuff. Well, the doctor wasn't happy that I never came back for another blood check so she said we had to do it that day. Not a big deal. Lucy doesn't cry or care about finger pokes, so that's fine. We do that and it turns out, she's 10.9 and honestly, I don't think it's a big deal. Doctor gives me the option of seeing a specialist and I said no, I'm sure she's fine.

Fast forward to Friday when the blood smear came back and turns out, it says she has "normochromic, normocytic, hypoproliferative anemia" and I get a call from a scheduler within minutes telling me she has an appointment for Tuesday with a hematologist oncologist.

Slow the damn train.

This went from being a little low in iron to seeing an oncologist?

On Tuesday we went to that appointment. It's kind of surreal to sit in a children's cancer center and people give you sad smiles when they walk by. It's a real testament to my mental health medication because without it I'm certain I'd be a crying mess. With them I'm fully numb and I don't really feel anything. I know people say they'd give anything to not feel anything in certain circumstances, but having that feeling myself, I don't like it. I'd rather have some kind of an emotion running through me because this feels cold.

I will say, for as much as I don't like this hospital/health system, they do a really good job with making it feel kind of alright. Lucy had a good time playing with the toys in the waiting area.

Even Matt played awhile with her while I sat in the sunshine holding all of our stuff including notes I had, copies of her lab work and reports, and just thought about how some parents sit here having no idea their entire lives will change based on what one person says.

Lucy's appointment went a little differently. We had a great nurse and she did all of Lucy's intake stuff and had her go pick out a book to keep and that made her infinitely happy.

We had kind of a granola-crunchy doctor who really was nice. I can't say that she wasn't. We went through health history, went through family health history, talked about why we were there, etc. Eventually she stopped us and told us basically to change her diet. She hands me a checklist of items saying she needs 1-2 from each area and that would get her the daily requirement of nutrients, specifically iron. I tell her she already does. Lucy is the BEST eater. She eats a lot of iron rich foods, she gets a lot of vitamin D and C, she gets yogurt and things good for her gut, if ever there was a kid you could show as someone with a great diet, it's Lucy. Truly. Her diet is not to blame for low iron.

Then she goes into telling me about natural microbiomes and how kids who are delivered via c-section don't get this and then when you don't breastfeed you're screwing them up even more, and I had to interrupt her and say I had no choice. She was an emergency c-section and I was in ICU for a bunch of days and my pituitary gland is shot so my milk never came in anyways so yeah.... not my fault. But she keeps hammering all of that home. She handed me a LOT of handouts, all of which I don't need because we are already doing all of those things.

At this point I'm getting really frustrated. I ask her what this blood smear report means and she blows it off completely, tells me she's not worried, she's not worried why I'm here, though the fact her MCV count (I have no idea what that is) is decreasing is worrisome but "it's probably fine". She does a quick exam and tells me it sounds like Lucy has a wheeze indicative of asthma. She says her ears have fluid and asks if she has a speech delay, which she does. She tells me that this kind of fluid is indicative of hearing loss so we should have a hearing test done right away.

Annoying because her doctor didn't see/hear either of those things and now I'm pissed off. She made me feel like I'm a bad mom not getting her county services for her speech delay but this could be because she can't full hear us? Are you kidding me? So now I have to call and get both of those things checked out. 

We end up doing some more lab work that day and she had to have blood drawn from her arm and Lucy cried SO hard and I felt like the worst mom in the world. I feel guilty because I always think my AFE caused all of this and I don't even know what we're dealing with.

At the end of the day we're getting a letter but her hemoglobin is in the 10.2-10.9 range which is normal for that health system but low for ours, so I don't know where we go there. Her vitamin D levels should be at least 50 and she's in the low 20s, so that's not good. We're supposed to get some kind of supplement for that. I don't feel like we got any answers. I don't really have gut feelings anymore so I feel stuck on what to do next but I am so worried there is something wrong with her and we're all missing it. I'm so scared she's going to end up with cancer or something and I won't be able to help her. I am forever questioning why this was all put on our plate.

We saw The Meaning of Life

This past weekend went by so quickly it hardly seems like it should be over yet here we are... Tuesday. I did get together with some friends though and that normally doesn't happen so it was nice to get out for a little bit without kids.

On Friday I went to dinner and a movie with my friend Tammy and we saw Isn't It Romantic and save your money- it was completely stupid. Not even a little bit funny. We had a good dinner with good conversation and talked about parenting and how incredibly crappy it is as they get older. Truly. I know people (myself included) really struggle through infant and toddler stage and kids being general jerks but honestly- none of it prepares you for middle and high school ages. There are tons of books on handling toddlers but nothing with real life advice on what to do when they hit those ages. Like a handbook. Kid starts smoking? Page 83. Kids vaping? Page 71. Kid has a friend you don't like? Page 33. Things like that. Nothing is out there. No, don't tell me to write one because frankly, middle school is kicking my ass and I'm not mentally ready for high school in what, two years? I understand why boarding schools exist now.

On Saturday we did lunch as a family and then I drove to St. Paul so my friend Amy and I could see Kelly Clarkson on her Meaning of Life tour. It's been awhile since Amy and I have hung out so I'm glad the roads were good, weather cooperated, and I was able to come. We had a great dinner and catching up, too.

The concert itself was really good and I had a really great time. Kelly had two opening acts, Brynn Cartelli and Kelsea Ballerini. Brynn Cartelli is a winner from The Voice and I'll be honest... she was terrible. I know she's young and learning how to perform live and all that but whoa boy. She sang with a cough drop in her mouth so it sounded like marbles and you couldn't understand that. Then she talked a LOT in between songs and she spoke so fast that it sounded like one really long sentence and you had no idea what she was saying. It was just really terrible.

Next up was Kelsea Ballerini who was better than Brynn and you could tell she's obviously more seasoned with singing live but still... she's not at the level of touring on her own yet. She doesn't really have stage presence because she mostly walks the same path, goes up on the stairs a little, and I don't know. It's just not spectacular. She sounded good though and I think her last song was her song with The Chainsmokers called "This Feeling", so I had to record that quick and send it to Olivia because she LOVES that song. She was properly jealous.

Kelly came out next and she was really great. I honestly forgot how many albums she had, I didn't realize her Meaning of Life album came out in 2017, it seems like that is a recent one but then again my concept of time is really warped so it's probably just me. I also forgot how much I love the song "Meaning of Life" and no lie, I kind of teared up a little. I also love "Whole Lotta Woman" and she did that so that was pretty fun. She did pretty much all of her hits (even the depressing ones), and had a great encore worth staying for. Overall I had a really great time, I really enjoyed this concert, and I would definitely see her again.

My drive home was alright, but I did learn even my max dose (so far) of Ritalin is not enough to perk me up so I have to call about that and maybe get it changed. I stopped at my half way point to get gas and snacks so that really helped and I pulled into my drive way at 1:03 a.m. Needless to say, I felt like I was hit by a bus on Sunday. HA!

Weight Loss Challenge, week 15 (the thunk heard round the world)

Admittedly, I did almost nothing last week. I did a couple of sessions on my bike but that's about it. As it turns out, I had an incredibly stressful week and I'm kind of going into anxiety hyper mode, depression dive, and it's not good.

It's all kind of around Lucy. She had her 2 1/2  year check up last week, no big deal. She still shows as anemic after the liquid iron supplement stuff they gave her, so they referred us to hematology. Which, I really didn't think was a big deal. I'm always low in my iron levels so maybe she just has my genetics? But they did a smear of her blood and that shows she has a weird kind of anemia that could be nothing, but it could be a lot of big things like diseases or cancer. So she has that appointment this week and I am not doing well in the mental health department. The bright side is I have my therapy appointment the day after her big appointment so I've got that going for me I guess.

My goals for this week are... to get through it. I'm hoping to at least get my bike stuff done during nap times. I have so many things happening this week I just want to get to Friday and take a breath.

Despite not exercising much, my diet was really good. I got through Valentine's Day hardly eating any candy (I had a few jelly beans because I went with those over chocolate). My meals were pretty on point even the two days I went out for dinner with friends (more on that soon). I may have splurged on french fries but if I was counting calories for the day, I was well under my allotment so that was good. Also, I have hardly had any caffeine this week. My big challenge? Not ordering a soda when I go out to eat. I did both times and I realized after the fact it's so automatic for me and I have to really try to break that habit. I always order a water too, but I  need to skip the soda. It's not even the benefit of caffeine that I like, mostly because the caffeine doesn't do anything for me- I don't feel any more pep in my step or anymore alert/awake, it's the actual taste of soda. I crave the taste and the sugar of it. Back to that damn sugar addiction!

Hopefully this week you're doing something for yourself. Next week I start something fully out of my comfort zone and I'll talk about that then, so stay tuned!

Book Review: Our Little Secret

I'm slowly getting back on the reading train but I tell you, every time I see how behind I am on my Goodreads Challenge this year... it's daunting.

Our Little Secret - Darren O'Sullivan

A deserted train station: A man waits. A woman watches.

Chris is ready to join his wife. He’s planned this moment for nearly a year. The date. The time. The train. But he hadn’t factored in Sarah.

So when Sarah walks on to the platform and sees a man swaying at the edge she assumes he’s just had too much to drink. What she doesn’t expect is to stop a suicide. As Sarah becomes obsessed with discovering the secrets that Chris is clearly hiding, he becomes obsessed with stopping her, protecting her.

But there are some secrets that are meant to stay buried forever…

I have a few feelings about this book but would I call it a gripping psychological thriller? Not so much. The beginning started out promising with Chris teetering on the edge of a train platform waiting for a train to come through so he can end his life and be with his presumably dead wife. Enter Sarah, emotional from the realization that her boyfriend is complete trash and doesn't care about her, waiting to catch the train and she automatically assumes Chris is just another drunk. Except she's watching him and things aren't what they first seem and once he is desperately trying to get her to leave she realizes he's about to do something drastic so she ultimately stops his suicide.

Good deeds don't go unpunished as they say. But they also say be kind to everyone because you don't know what they are dealing with inside. Both are ultimately true for this book.

The book promises a twist, but I wasn't surprised at all because I've read far too many thrillers to know what was coming. Keeping in mind this is a debut novel I'm not knocking off any points for that, it's rare that a debut novelist has a fully unique story line.

Let's talk about what I did like: the pacing of this book is really good. You'll keep reading it because it always feels like you're on the cusp of something big happening but it doesn't, and you're not even mad because that feeling is still there. I liked Natalie's character a lot.

Things I didn't love: Sarah is an idiot. You kind of get that at the beginning as she's describing the situation with her boyfriend (is he really even that?) and then she says it herself, she makes terrible choices in men, and that record stands by the end of this book. And Chris. What can I say about Chris that doesn't give the ending away? I really didn't like him and I wish the ending had come sooner, or maybe an even better ending because maybe that ending wasn't good enough? I'm not sure. It's a little Fight Club kind of for me when it came to his character and I'm not sure how I felt about it.

Overall, I'm giving this one a 3. It's not awful, if you're a fan of thrillers and that's mostly what you read you might be a little disappointed. If you only read thrillers once in awhile for something different, I think you're really going to like this one so add it to your to-read list to get you through the rest of this crappy winter.

   

Book Review: Nature's Best Remedies

I have to say, this is kind of a timely book because I'm dealing with the worst head cold and generally feel like death is warming over, so it's probably a good idea to read through this, right?

Nature's Best Remedies

A guide to the world's most therapeutic foods, herbs, spices, and essential oils will allow the healing power of nature to energize your body and enrich your life, providing a surefire path to good health and well-being. 

This authoritative guide to the foods, herbs, spices, essential oils, and other natural substances that alleviate common ailments will enhance your life--from treating illness to sharpening the mind, losing weight, cleaning the home, enhancing pregnancy, and reducing the effects of aging. Divided into two sections--Nature's Cures and Nature's Pharmacopoeia--this beautifully illustrated guide provides up-to-date information on such timely topics as the perils of packaged foods and the benefits of phytochemicals, how to achieve major results with minor alterations in your food choices, the soothing benefits of essential oils, and the most effective methods for maximizing such natural home helpers as salts, vinegars, oils, and more. Innovative recipes offer easy, effective dishes that utilize multiple herbs, spices, and fresh foods for powerhouse results.

My first thought about this book is that it's physically beautiful. The cover is great, the pages are great, the book itself has a fantastic lay out and organized well. Secondly, the sheer amount of very detailed information throughout is pretty impressive. I have to respect people who can pull the vast amount information together and condense it into an easy to read and easy to reference format. Coming from a trusted source such as National Geographic helps, too.

The book is divided into two parts: Nature's Cures and Nature's Pharmacopoeia. The first part isn't terribly long and though it covers the different systems in your body and other primary health areas, it didn't have the basics of handling the flu, common cold, etc that so often we're looking for something to give some relief. It does have a mental health section and a short weight loss section, as well as a chapter on pregnancy with was pretty interesting, I thought. The second part goes in depth on things you can grow in an indoor garden and their benefits, things "from the sea" and then dark herbs, all of which have countless benefits. Not to exclude anyone, it does have a section on beneficial spices but also- essential oils. The other section I spent a lot of time in is the Nature's Powerful Pantry one because a lot of the things mentioned I already have so how impressive is that?! I also have a lot of friends who are getting into the green cleaning supplies and there is an entire section for that and it was very easy to follow directions that you could try right away.

Overall I really liked this and if you consider yourself a crunchy mama, this is a great reference to have on hand. It would make a pretty terrific gift idea if you know someone who is getting into herbal remedies and taking a more clean approach to living their best life.

I was provided a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange of a review; all thoughts and opinions are my own.