Christmas traditions: Bentleyville

It's December, it's full on Christmas season, I am in full mom, make-Christmas-special-and-memorable-for-everyone mode, so the first stop? Bentleyville, of course! 

If you've never been to Bentleyville, it's a huge outdoor light display in Duluth, Minnesota and it is totally free and kids 10 and under get a free hat after their visit with Santa. It's kind of amazing, and you can find it on TikTok (Bentleyville USA), it's all over social media, and you'll find it featured on all kinds of shows. We go every year and it's always a gamble on when we go, we try to go on a warm night because it is right next to Lake Superior so when its cold, it is COLD. Oftentimes if its a warmish night, we will drop everything and go then because I'd rather miss something than stand in the Santa line for an hour and dance with hypothermia. 

The little girls love the giant tree, but it is so hard to get a really good picture of it. 

This was the first year we didn't have all four kids with us, Olivia was out doing her own thing and it really hit me that pretty soon we'll be down to three kids at home, then two, then one, then none. It is so weird to have this process start. As a parent it seems like a far away destination but Matt and I are approaching it and it is the strangest feeling. 

My favorite (and the little girls', too) are the arched walk ways. There are a couple of them you walk through and I just love them. 

We went to Brainerd, Minnesota this year and went to Paul Bunyan Land, so Pep told me I had to take a picture of Paul Bunyan and Babe!

Lucy insisted on wearing her Minnie ears, which predictably, became an issue so Matt got to wear them through the last half of the walk. 

Even though Jackson and I were able to go shopping before leaving but Pep and Lu were fading fast since it was past their bedtime, so by the time we got home they were totally out. 

We can cross Bentleyville off our list, next up is baking cookies. I'm not trying to bake with the kids because nothing will send me over the edge than baking with my kids, so that's going to be a solo project. I also want to try to do a few more things but our weekends are already filling up and I always feel like we don't have enough time, you know? 

I am super excited for Christmas though, I feel super organized and like I have a good grip on things. I have our Christmas cards done, I just have to print our letter and put them in the envelopes and I'm good to go. I'm even getting started on my wrapping, so I feel like I've got a good handle on things right now. Here's hoping I can keep it up, right??

'Tis the damn season

Halloween is done, Thanksgiving is done, and it is officially the damn Christmas season. I am going to fully enjoy this month, that's all there is to it. I feel like I haven't really loved the last few years of the holidays and I think it is stress and being broke. I mean, I still have stress and I am still broke, but I feel  so much more organized this year. I wish I could share with you the gift tracking system I came up with this year but alas.... I'm not trying to spoil anyone's gifts. Obviously. 

I can share that we are fully decorated! All of our trees are up this year, we have the kid artwork tree in our front porch, the red/white/green tree in the dining room, our big tree, and then the tree in my office. Which, honestly, I think I might keep it up. All year. Is that crazy? It kind of feels crazy but I also kind of love it. 

Isn't she a beaut? It's just so cozy and happy when its really the only lights on in here, and it's just happy. 

Also, can I brag on my son? If you know Jackson, you know that he really got into crocheting last year but he's really gotten good at it. He keeps trying new projects and after some encouragement (and harrassment), he finally made me a Yip Yip Alien. Honestly, if you don't know who the Yip Yip Aliens were, I don't know that we can even be friends, because there were the hit of Sesame Street in the 80s and I don't care what anyone says. #yipyips4life But isn't it the freaking cutest?! 

Let's talk about our family's new ornaments! If you're new here, every year we have new ornaments join our hod podge big tree in our living room and they have to be related to something to that year. 

We actually had quite a few this year, so that was fun. First one was the gondola from Lutsen Mountain, where Matt and I went to this fall to see the fall colors. It was a fun date for us, definitely a highlight of the year for me. 

OK, this one technically isn't a memory of the year, but it's an acrylic cutout of Lake Superior, which is basically our backyard. It's just super pretty that it only seemed right we have it on our tree. 

This summer we took a quick summer trip with our friends to Brainerd, MN and we went to Paul Bunyan Land, which was a fun weekend away. 

Way back in March, Olivia and I went on a fantastic trip so I picked up ornaments on all of our major stops, so here was Ellis Island, 

the Empire State Building, 

Mount Vernon (George Washington's house), 

the Statue of Liberty, 

and just the monuments in Washington, D.C. I will have to find new ones because I'm going on the same trip with Jackson this spring, but I'm excited for it. 

Olivia went to a Van Gogh art experience this year and she got me an ornament for my birthday, and it's so pretty. 

Oh yes, and we didn't get to go into the 9/11 Memorial (sadly, I really wanted to go through it and see all of the things and learn more), but we did get to see the exterior and the memorial fountain. 

Earlier in the year Olivia went to Boston to compete for Harvard Model U.N. and she brought home an ornament. 

Isn't it so fun? Each of the kids has their own box that has the ornament they pick out themselves each year, which can be anything they choose. We always have a good time picking them out but even more fun unpacking them each year and trying to remember why they picked it. Someday though, they will grow up and move away but they'll have an entire box of special ornaments to take with them to their homes. I will be sad to not see these year after year though, I can't lie. 

Also, has anyone had experience with a cat who had pink eye? What about a cat who has pink eye in both eyes? I have had cats almost my entire life and never once have I had one with pink eye, but our newest cat, Pickles, has somehow gotten pink eye in both eyes. He's a hot damn mess and I feel like him having pink eye is the most logical way to end the year for us. It just seems pretty on brand for the Strands. 

Is it even summer?

I hate that it feels like we aren't even in summer. I mean, it does because nobody is in school, but it also doesn't because the weather has been crap and we have no vacation. I keep thinking maybe I should have just planned a vacation, even though we definitely cannot afford it, because not having something on the calendar is just depressing. I can't even lounge on my deck and read because it has either been cold and windy, or just plain rainy. I can't even garden because honestly, my plants look like garbage because they think we're still at the end of May, so they aren't doing a dang thing. 

Olivia has been busy working two jobs, so we honestly almost never see her. Jackson has been doing Upward Bound (which is like a college prep program), so he has been living in college dorms Monday-Friday for six weeks, so we hardly see him. I know this is part of them growing up, but man... I understand now when parents say they miss their kids as they grow up. They drive me nuts sometimes, but I do like having them here, even if it just means they are in the house somewhere. 

Penelope decided she wanted to get her ears pierced, so Matt took her to do just that. She truly believes she has real diamonds in her ears, so we're letting her think that because she thinks she's hot shit and it's adorable. 

I signed the littles up for summer school, so we walk there and back each day. Because of the holiday, there is no summer school this whole week, but honestly... I'm not sure if I'm even going to muster the energy to go back next week. They don't seem to be die hard about going and it's basically a glorified childcare thing, so it seems dumb. I remember when Olivia and Jackson were in elementary school, there used to be fun stuff happening in summer school. They went on field trips, had zoo animals come to school, had fun games and craft things going on, etc. and none of that happens anymore. It's kind of lame. 

We've only had like three days warm enough to swim in the pool, so that stinks. Honestly I hope we have an outrageous string of hot days so the kids get use out of it otherwise I'll feel like we spent all that money filling it up for nothing. This is also the year that Lucy can touch the bottom and I don't know why, but that made me super sad when she told me. 

We've also been going to the library like twice a week. We are flying through books in this house. Penelope finished all of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books and is now onto Dog Man, which she thinks are hilarious. Olivia read Stephen King's Insomnia, which is like 800 pages or something, in a day and a half. I can't really complain though, because at least I have a couple of kids who really like reading. 

Lucy turns six on August 1, and she asks me how many days is it at least three times every day. Needless to say, she is ridiculously excited about it. I'm working my way down into the depressive slump I find myself in every year right around then. It's hard to know if my low mood is because of stuff going on or just my body's response to our trauma anniversary. I do know that I am getting so weary. I haven't felt like this in a couple of years, but once again, I find myself at the point where I don't know why the hell I'm hanging on so hard. I finally told Matt about a week ago that if my health doesn't improve, and this is just how it's going to be, I really can't do it. I cannot do it for the rest of my life, and that's just a truth I think we all know but havne't acknowledged yet. I feel like I've done all of the things, I've seen all of the people, I have checked everything off on every list I've been given and still.... I feel no better and seem to just steadily get worse. I just don't have it in me to do this forever. It's just depressing. 

In the meantime though, summer marches on. I just keep going through every day but there is never a time where I don't just feel completely exhausted. 

Summer 2022... kind of.

I have gotten really bad at being a blogger and have not been great at updating literally anyone. Ever. 

Sigh. 

I'll get better. Someday. At least I'm pretty sure. Until then, let's talk about what has been happening around here lately. I feel like it's so much that it is hard to keep up but I'm really trying. 

1. Kindergarten Graduation

Lucy officially graduated kindergarten and she was so excited. She had a pretty good school year and could not love school more. She's starting to read books, mastered her sight words, is a whiz at addition and substraction, enjoys art, has adorable handwriting (though she writes her 'y' backwards and it's the cutest), cannot rhyme anything to save her life, and make great strides in speech therapy. 

This was also the year that she started physical therapy and has been doing such a great job. She has some progress to make, but she LOVES going to 'exercise class'! She will continue with speech therapy next year and already misses her kindergarten teacher, her speech teacher, and her friends. 

2. School is out.... for summer

I don't post about the bigger kids much because 1. they hate it and 2. they are literally busy all the time and I don't always get pictures. I need to really try harder because I'm finding my memory is starting to slide a little more. 

But.. Olivia finished 10th grade with amazing grades. She did so great in AP World History, she loved biology, but her journalism class was by far her favorite. She learned a lot from her teacher who I hope becomes a mentor for her because that was a great last minute change to her schedule back in the fall. She's working two jobs this summer, flying through books at breakneck speed, and getting her license as soon as we have time to do it. She even managed to go to Washington D.C., New York City, and Boston for school. Jackson finished eighth grade and is literally chucking deuces at the hell hole that is middle school and is heading to the high school next year. He learned to crochet, play Dungeons & Dragons, and is literally the funniest kid of our bunch. He has my sarcastic personality and I always have a good time hanging out with him. Him and I are doing the DC/NYC trip next spring break (same one I did with Liv), so we at least have that to look forward to. Penelope finished first grade like a boss and is an amazing reader and is excellent at math. She's hoping for "harder math" in second grade. She gets that from her dad because math is the absolute worst. And we already talked about Lucy. 

3. We all scream for ice cream

You know summer has officially started when the ice cream truck starts it's weekly visit. We planned last week entirely around it coming and it was worth it. 

4. Plans?

Normally I have some kind of plan for our summer, but this year I'm stumped. I really WANT to go on a roadtrip but honestly, we need to work on paying down debt and putting money away. I'm really struggling with the "be a responsible adult" versus the "we only get 18 summers, they grow so fast, life is short so take the trip" argument. In my head, of course. I haven't settled it and I really need to make a decision soon so we can appropriately plan and people can take time off. 

If we don't do a roadtrip (which really would be a bummer), I guess we can do some short day trips on the weekends or something. I don't know. I just hate being the only one really delegated to any of this because of our group, I'm literally the last person who should be in charge of anything. I can't make decisions, I can't organize thoughts, and god knows I can't remember anything. The thing about cognitive impairment is that learning to live with your newly acquired shortcomings is really hard and incredibly frustrating. It's like running into a table as you walk by, multiple times and knowing full well that if you just move over a little you would be fine, but you continue to run into the table and it makes no sense. 

So that's my life. 

Hopefully yours is going better, or you at least have any kind of idea of what's happening next. That would be nice. 

Book Review: 100 Days of Adventure

Being a mom means that you reach the point of a school year where you just need the year to be done. You need a break. Of course, that is usually when the panic sets in because once school is over, we are most likely going to hear the dreaded phrase, "I'm booooooooored!" no less than 500 times per kid every day. Thankfully, this has arrived just in time. 

100 Days of Adventure - Greta Eskridge

Turn off the screen and turn on the creativity as second-generation homeschooling mom Greta Eskridge shares 100 hands-on learning activities for kids that will connect and enrich your family through adventures, small and big.

Have a meteor slumber party, attend a symphony concert, take a hike in the rain, preserve colorful fall leaves, and make nettle pesto as children explore a love of nature and venture into the great, wide, real world. From backyard bugs to farmer's market veggies, children will unplug from electronics; explore the world; and learn about nature, art, music, and themselves through STEAM projects and new experiences.

100 Days of Adventure will spark curiosity in 6- to 10-year-olds with indoor and outdoor seasonal activities, projects, experiments, crafts, recipes, and field trips. Free and low-cost activities, with options for different kinds of groups and locations, step-by-step directions, nature journal prompts, tips, and checklists, beautiful photos and helpful illustrations children can bond with parents and siblings, learn new skills with individual investigations, or explore with friends in an educational or homeschool group with this full-color activity book. Also included is a note to parents with encouraging start-here guidance on growing a family culture of curiosity and adventure. Whether your family is looking for fun activities for school breaks at home, road trip vacations, or everyday ways to learn together, this collection of interactive educational activities will help your kids get creative, get into nature, and get closer to each other.

To be honest, I have a love/hate relationship with summer. It's kind of how I feel about motherhood too, I suppose. I love my kids, I love all of the moments and the snuggles. I'm not a huge fan of the exhaustion, tears, and entertaining. I had no idea how hard it was going to be to continually plan activities for kids. 

As it turns out, I always start out enthusiastically at the start of summer and as we approach July, I am absolutely over it. I end up exhausted, and I really just want to read my book in my favorite chair in the sunshine. 

Thankfully, Greta Eskridge has done all of the hard work for us and in one fantastically creative compilation, provides 100 days of adventure that span every season. If ever you have absolutely no idea on what to do with your kids, this book is going to save you. If you're ever stuck watching other kids and feel like they are going to take over, this book will save you. 

My youngest two immediately grabbed this from my desk and started making a list. They made me a list. While that's great because I have a game plan for the summer, but now I feel like there are expectations. Yay me! Ha! Topping the list for them is rock painting (to make The Perfect Pet, page 20) and learning about rocks (page 69), becoming an Insect Expert (page 30). They also want to pick and dry apples (page 66), so we're going to incorporate this into a trip to an apple festival in the fall. Topping the list for both Penelope and Lucy, is going on a Rainy-Day Ramble (page 78). They have asked about going out into the rain dozens of times and honestly, nothing sounds worse to me, but this mom? Is going on a rainy day ramble with a couple of little girls who really want to go shopping for waterproof pants. We also are going to make a book nook (page 114) for our summer reading. 

The book is so well organized, your kiddos won't have any problem going page to page and making their own list. You are surely going to be mom of the summer (and every other season). Thank you to TLC Book Tours and Thomas Nelson Publishing for having me on this tour and sending me a copy for review! I secretly love roping my kids into book reviews, and any time I see them get excited when new books come, is the absolute best. 

DC/NYC, we've seen it all.

Olivia and I finally got to go on the DC/NYC trip we were supposed to go on in 2020, which kept being rescheduled because of the pandemic. Honestly, the whole month before the trip, I really thought about just not going.  

I don't know what my problem was, it was probably just a lot of anxiety and generally not feeling well. In the end though, both of us went and I'm glad we did. We literally saw and did all of the things in both cities and I'm glad I had that time with Olivia. 

I wasn't prepared to walk 12+ hours every day, even though they clearly said we would be. I think it's one thing to be told something like that and actually doing it are two very different things. I honestly don't know how I made it every day, but by the time we got home my legs were in rough shape and I really hurt. 

I do wish we could have spent another day in Washington, D.C. though. I do really want to go back because while we got to see everything, I would really like to go back and spend a little more time at a few of the places, specifically the Korean War Memorial and the Vietnam War Memorial. We saw both of them, but it was night, and also sleeting, we were all completely miserable and frozen, so I definitely didn't get to really take it all in like I should have. 

I'm also bummed that we didn't get to go into any of the federal buildings, which I totally understand why we couldn't, but damn... I really hope someday we can do that again because I just want to really experience the awe of all of them. 

I am so grateful that my kids are all great travelers, because Olivia is all about learning about the things we're looking at, and she is generally excited to see and do things. I really appreciate that about her. 

I think Liv would agree, but maybe my favorite thing to see in DC was George Washington's home, Mount Vernon. It's an absolutely beautiful estate, and I wish we could have had another hour at least to see things, but we made it through the home, some of the grounds and outbuildings, and George Washington's tomb. We also got to experience ridiculously rude students from a different school and that was pretty crappy. 

I have to talk about our tour guide super quick, her name was Liz and she works with EF Tours (the company our trip was through), and she was phenomenal. I literally would go anywhere Liz wanted to take me. She knew everything about everything, she knew her way around everywhere, and it was just amazing to watch her expertly get us around with ease. I'm so glad we had someone so fun because I learned a ton, and I hope the kids on the trip really appreciated that, too. 

We did see the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and were lucky enough to watch a wreath ceremony and it was just super moving and I am so glad we were able to see that. I also saw Ruth and Marty. 

After a half day in DC, we rode a bus to NYC and went to the Empire State Building on our first night. Honestly, the view was beautiful, we saw a sunset and we could not have been there at a better time. I will say though, I didn't love it, and it kind of reminded me of the St. Louis Arch. It's cool, I can say I saw it, but it isn't anything I'd tell you that you need to see/do. 

We also saw Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty, and I'll be honest, we liked the Statue of Liberty a lot more. I really thought Ellis Island was going to be my favorite but I think not being able to see all areas of it was the key. I also wanted to know more about Ellis Island specifically, but the museum was a lot of information about immigration in general, not just Ellis Island, so it wasn't really anything we didn't already know. 

We were super grateful for the great weather though, it was a little over 70 and I was all about the sunshine because DC was freezing the entire time. 

New York City was.... a lot. 

I knew it was going to be a lot, I already kind of prepared myself for it, but honestly, NYC is a level of stimulation you literally cannot prepare for. 

I almost had a full breakdown in Times Square. Plopping a person with cognitive issues, memory loss, and issues with too much stimulation in the middle of Times Square and telling that person to have fun for two hours, that is really just... too much. I kind of panicked and I didn't really go anywhere off of the block we were meeting at because I was absolutely terrified I would get lost and I had no idea what I would do. I won't even talk about being dropped in China Town because that was even scarier. Thank god for McDonald's, that's how I would sum that up. 

Oh, and we saw a Broadway show! We saw Paradise Square, which was so good! Olivia and I both really enjoyed it, plus we learned a whole lot about a time in history that we just never learned about. 

We also saw the courthouse used for Law & Order episodes, and I loved it so much. Ha! 

The trip was good overall. There were some bumps, there were some real high points, I also had blisters which ended up incredibly infected. I had no idea that could even happen, and I went the entire week thinking my feet were just sore but no, I was walking miles and miles on infected blisters. Shout out to my doctor who called in antibiotics for me to start as soon as I got home. I won't even talk about the awfulness that was our trip home, I can sum it up by saying LaGuardia is just the worst and I will avoid that place at all costs for the rest of my life. 

I already have wanderlust and want to go somewhere else. I'm considering a summer road trip for us, but that's kind of up in the air right now. Maybe if I plan it, the universe will make it happen.... 

Book Review: I Just Want To Pee Alone

You know what I did last week? I ran errands and got to go out to lunch and read.... alone. It was as glorious as you think it was. 

I Just Want to Pee Alone

Motherhood is the toughest – and funniest – job you'll ever love. Raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful – you can't even take a bathroom break without being interrupted with another outrageous demand. Hasn't every mother said it before? “I just want to pee alone!” I Just Want to Pee Alone is a collection of hilarious essays from 37 of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the web. Including: People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Insane in the Mom-Brain, The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva, Baby Sideburns, and Rants From Mommyland. Read hysterical essays like: Embarrassment, Thy Name is Motherhood A Pinterest-Perfect Mom, I am Not And Then There was that Time a Priest Called Me a Terrible Mother So She Thought She Could Cut Off My Stroller.

You guys... this book is funny. It was a good way to fill some kid-free time and didn't require my brain to do any work. Not only did I finish this book in one hour, but I was smiling or laughing the entire time and almost choked on a french fry. What a way to go, lambs. Early on there is an essay about Disney World and honest to God, it is so spot on, I had to call my friend who is planning a first trip... she's worried. HA! Also there is an essay about her husband getting a vasectomy in lieu of her being on birth control the rest of her life, which is something I see on mom blogs and forums all the time. Frankly, stand your ground, ladies. On page 34, 

Physician: [mouthing vaginal shrapnel] "So, are you interested in an IUD?"

Me: "I find it best never to owe people money. Especially family. IOUs can be so tricky."

Physician: "I have a feeling you may not be ready to discuss any vaginal procedures."

Me: "Hasn't my vagina done enough for my family?"

and further down the page: 

"I was pouring a glass of red when this commandment was spoken. 'Catholics don't do that. You can use the rhythm method.' As he said, 'rhythm method', I pointed to baby number four. Any other pearls of wisdom, Father? The conversation soured as I glared at my husband over loudly chewed bites of steak. Looking at my knife, I pondered if Googling DIY vasectomy instruction would initiate any red flags or calls to the local authorities. 

My husband, not necessarily a believer in the actual tenet of no vasectomy, yet, thankful for an argument against it tried to proceed cautiously. 

Husband: "Did you hear what Father said about ahem the surgery?"

Me: "I did."

Husband: "And?"

Me: "Are priests still unable to get married? Unless you plan on marrying him, I think you should consider keeping your appointment."

Husband: "Honey, please put down the steak knife."

I mean, absolutely spot on. I remember after I had Lucy, who shouldn't exist because birth control was used, and I died giving birth to her, I was adamant that I was not going on birth control. Frankly, I've done my duty. If I can die while giving birth, and deal with the awful aftermath for the rest of my life, the very least you can do is get a snip snip and go back to work. Oh yes, ladies, I made him go back to work. Again, if I can push a watermelon out of a small hole and have to start walking around right after, you can go to work. No sympathy will be given here. 

Is this book hysterical? No, but will it make you smile? Will you find yourself relating to at least a couple of the essays? You bet. Each one is rather short and read more like blog posts, which makes sense since they are from mom bloggers, some of which I've read before, but not regularly. I feel like the book also highlights each mom's style so if you wanted more from any of them, you at least know what you're kind of getting into as far as content. 

Overall, a fun little book. It would definitely be a cute one to throw into a new mom gift because I think any of us could have used something funny to read as we're stuck on the couch with a sleeping baby who you know damn well is going to scream for hours if you wake them up now. Been there, done that. 

If you saw on Instagram the other day, this was one of the books Matt got me for Christmas. If you want to see some of the others, head over there and let me know what you think I should read next!

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