Book Review: The Recall Paradox

Happy... May? I don't know, it feels like winter here and I'm over it. I'm desperate for sunshine and warm days. I refuse to listen to anyone complain about summer this year, I'll tell you that much. 

The Recall Paradox - Julian R. Vaca

What if everything you remember is a lie? Freya Izquierdo and Fletcher Cohen believe they’re done with top-secret memory knifing. After successfully hacking a terrorist’s memories and foiling the Memory Ghosts’ next attack, they spend their school break intending to clear Fletcher’s dad of being accused of colluding with the radical group. Exposing the truth should be straightforward, if not easy. But Fletcher’s house is robbed, and Freya makes a shocking discovery about her flawed recall. When they return to Foxtail Academy, no one but the dean and Dr. Sanders seems to remember Freya, Fletcher, and their friends Chase and Ollie. Then the Memory Ghosts make contact, and everything the four students thought was true proves false. As they struggle to shine light on the shadowy battlefield between Memory Frontier and the Memory Ghosts, their only option is to undertake the most difficult and risky knifing mission of their lives. But this time, more than their lives are at stake. In this heart-stopping and gripping conclusion to the critically acclaimed Memory Index duology , the only way out is in, and the only way to safety is through reckless danger that could wipe Freya and Fletcher from everyone’s minds . . . forever.

I really wish I had read the first book, The Memory Index, first. In fact, I'm going to tell you to absolutely read the first one first because this is a duology and I think you'll get into this a lot more. There are a lot of secondary characters in this one and I'm not sure if they were in book one and there wasn't a whole lot from the first book mentioned here so you could kind of get the idea of that so there were times I was confused and not sure why these characters were there. 

The story was a bit slow, and felt like a continuation of book one but a good bulk of it didn't really feel worth it, if that makes sense. I almost wondered if a good bulk of this could have been tossed and the rest just added to the first book. I have a hard time with duologies because I always feel like it really could be done in one book, just edited down. Not everything is worth being a duology, you know? 

Things I did like about this book, the overwhelming theme of grief and memory. I'm in a unique place because I have memory issues and it's a weird place to be in. It's really strange to look at photos and see yourself and have zero memory of it, but having people tell stories about it. It feels like someone else, it is truly bizarre. That aspect of this book is what kept me hooked, for sure. I was explaining the book to someone and she said it sounded like a cross between The Matrix and Inception, which I guess it kind of is. If you're a fan of dystopian and either of those movies, this duo is right up your alley. I will also mention the Memory Ghosts kind of freaked me out, I'm not a fan of them. Haha! 

Thank you to TLC Book Tours and Thomas Nelson Publishing for sending me a copy for review! 

Book Review: Rookie Mistakes

I love this cover so much, and I just have to put that out there. I love it.  I also have to comment that I noticed I haven't read as much nonfiction as I usually do by this point in the year, and I'm not sure if that good or not. I do have more coming up, but it was just a random observation. 

Rookie Mistakes - Kelly Bandas

In her highly anticipated nonfiction debut, comedian Kelly Bandas uses her trademark humor to recount stories of growing up and becoming a semifunctional adult in a dysfunctional world.

Raised in a devoutly Catholic home, Kelly Bandas spent her entire childhood trying hard not to tick off “the man” or the Lord. And for the most part, she crushed it. But as she got older and began to navigate what it looked like to truly live in a world where gender roles, race, and politics weren’t always so black and white, Kelly realized that her former worldview was beginning to feel like that pair of Forever 21 jeans that used to glide effortlessly over her hips but now required a lot of stretching and acrobatic maneuvering to shimmy into place. And she’s not alone. 

In Rookie Mistakes, Kelly shares stories of growing up in a church-centered, male-dominated society and how those experiences shaped and primed her for a new chapter of life. In this debut collection of essays, Kelly shares:

Funny, fast-paced, and uplifting stories 

Encouragement for women who are tired of feeling like they will never measure up—and kind of don’t want to anyway

Inspiration to find your voice, your power, and your people

Kelly shares everything from laugh-out-loud accounts of Oregon Trail-themed first kisses to heartfelt insights gleaned from navigating life as a Christian feminist doing her best not to screw up being a parent of a child with a disability, in a trans-racial family.

Rookie Mistakes is the call-to-action millennial women everywhere have been waiting for. 

Full disclosure, this does have a little bit of religious tones sprinkled about but as someone who wouldn't consider myself as religious, but I didn't think it was overwhelming in this, so go in knowing that. Also, if you love Jenny Lawson, you might really like this. They don't have the same writing style, but the comedy sprinkled into situations that probably don't warrant laughing, makes me think having a dinner date with both of them would be a good time. 

The book is comprised of several essays that span her childhood, growing up, getting married, being a mom, and then being a mom/everything during the height of the pandemic, and I don't care who you are, we can all relate to so many of these. The best part of this book is that the author shows us some of her shining mistakes, which many of us have done (or in the process of doing), but looking back on them in hindsight with humility, but also trying to learn the lesson, you know? The concept of not being so hard and judging ourselves, but also giving others the same grace, because life is rough on us all. I also really loved the nostalgia and love for the 90's in this book! I'm a 1982 baby, but I tell my kids all of the time that the 90's were the BEST time to grow up. I will forever be grateful that that's when me real growing up happened, because it definitely shaped me as a person. 

Honestly, this might be my top nonfiction book of the year. I really like memoirs anyways, but this one just really stuck with me. I could relate to the stories, and the author, and it encouraged me to look at the mistakes I've made and stop dwelling them. The other perk was that each essay isn't very long, so if you like a book with short chapters because you only get short spans of reading time, this is great for you. Needless to say, I flew through this one. The perk of my husband snoring outrageously loud is that I am getting a lot of reading in, so there's that. 

Thank you to TLC Book Tours and Thomas Nelson Publishing for sending me a copy of this and letting me jump onto this tour! 

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Book Review: More Than A Mom

If you're like me, you're already trying to plan out how you are going to keep your kids entertained all summer, but also not lose your mind. Don't get me wrong, summer is my absolute favorite, but I always feel so much pressure to make it fun, memorable, but also take time for myself, too. When I saw this book was up for review, I absolutely jumped at it because I think as moms we all need a good reminder on self care and why it's important in all areas.

More Than a Mom -Kari Kampakis

What if taking care of yourself was the first step to helping your family thrive?

If you’ve parented long enough, then you’ve learned firsthand why your personal wellness matters. You’ve felt the pain (or consequences) of devaluing yourself. Whether your wake-up call came from a diagnosis, a breakdown, an issue with your child or spouse, anxiety, or simply feeling depleted and numb, it most likely unveiled this truth: 

Mothers are humans too. We require love, compassion, rest, and renewal. Taking care of our needs strengthens us and equips us for the road ahead. In More Than a Mom, bestselling author Kari Kampakis offers a practical, approachable, and attainable framework to stay on a healthy path. You can take your kids only as far as you’ve come–and since their strength builds on your strength, you must take time to focus on you. More Than a Mom is about unleashing God’s power in your life and standing on timeless truths that will help you know your worth and embrace your purpose, build strong, uplifting friendships that you can model for your children, quit the negative self-talk and make peace with your body, and learn to mother yourself by resting and setting boundaries.

The world shaping your children is more callous and complex than the world that shaped you. Kids need to be stronger, smarter, and more rooted in what’s real. Empower your son or daughter by tending to your heart, soul, body, and mind. Give them a vision of a healthy adult–and know that as they launch into the real world, they will build on what you started.

Full disclosure, this book is written with a God-centered focus, so if that is an issue for you, know that going in. Though I don't consider myself especially religious, I still felt like I gained so much from this book and it really is a worthwhile read. 

Everything you would expect from a book like this is covered: handling stress and anxiety, resting, know your worth and making peace with your body, purpose and hope, and of course... building friendships. Every single parenting forum I have ever been is full of women saying they need friends, but honestly, how do you even make friends as an adult? I always hear that dating and meeting new people can be hard, but I feel like making friends as an adult is so much harder. Our instinct is to compare ourselves to other moms and then spiral into negative self talk, and we all know what that's like. In the chapter about friendships it talks about why it's important to maintain our friendships (but how, as well). It goes into learning what prevents friendships from forming, which we are all guilty of. I also like that it mentions the lost village, how having a village to raise our children in is so important. 

I also loved the chapter on making peace with your body and how crucial this is as a mom because how we treat our body shows our children how to treat their body (and everyone elses). As I enter my 40's, I am noticing changes in myself: my hair is changing colors, my skin is wrinkling and changing texture, I'm sagging in areas I never did before, my joints hurt, and I make noises as I climb stairs because my knees, man.... ha! The book talks about the importance of taking care of yourself but it doesn't say it is solely based on your weight and how that is just one piece of the puzzle. Our airm needs to be feeling good, not necessarily what we look like. 

Overall, I really liked this book. I know that I know all of these things, but it is so hard to remember it, especially when things get hard. I feel like this is one that I'm going to pull out when things get hard because sometimes we can't reach out and ask for help, so this is a little self-help... you see how this comes full circle? I highly recommend this, it would even make an excellent baby shower gift because what better time to learn how to care for yourself than the very beginning? Let's normalize welcoming women to ask for help without shaming her. We're all in this together. 

A massive thank you to TLC Book Tours and Thomas Nelson Publishing for sending me a copy for review, it really could not have come at a better time, my heart really needed it. 

Book Review: 100 Days of Adventure

Being a mom means that you reach the point of a school year where you just need the year to be done. You need a break. Of course, that is usually when the panic sets in because once school is over, we are most likely going to hear the dreaded phrase, "I'm booooooooored!" no less than 500 times per kid every day. Thankfully, this has arrived just in time. 

100 Days of Adventure - Greta Eskridge

Turn off the screen and turn on the creativity as second-generation homeschooling mom Greta Eskridge shares 100 hands-on learning activities for kids that will connect and enrich your family through adventures, small and big.

Have a meteor slumber party, attend a symphony concert, take a hike in the rain, preserve colorful fall leaves, and make nettle pesto as children explore a love of nature and venture into the great, wide, real world. From backyard bugs to farmer's market veggies, children will unplug from electronics; explore the world; and learn about nature, art, music, and themselves through STEAM projects and new experiences.

100 Days of Adventure will spark curiosity in 6- to 10-year-olds with indoor and outdoor seasonal activities, projects, experiments, crafts, recipes, and field trips. Free and low-cost activities, with options for different kinds of groups and locations, step-by-step directions, nature journal prompts, tips, and checklists, beautiful photos and helpful illustrations children can bond with parents and siblings, learn new skills with individual investigations, or explore with friends in an educational or homeschool group with this full-color activity book. Also included is a note to parents with encouraging start-here guidance on growing a family culture of curiosity and adventure. Whether your family is looking for fun activities for school breaks at home, road trip vacations, or everyday ways to learn together, this collection of interactive educational activities will help your kids get creative, get into nature, and get closer to each other.

To be honest, I have a love/hate relationship with summer. It's kind of how I feel about motherhood too, I suppose. I love my kids, I love all of the moments and the snuggles. I'm not a huge fan of the exhaustion, tears, and entertaining. I had no idea how hard it was going to be to continually plan activities for kids. 

As it turns out, I always start out enthusiastically at the start of summer and as we approach July, I am absolutely over it. I end up exhausted, and I really just want to read my book in my favorite chair in the sunshine. 

Thankfully, Greta Eskridge has done all of the hard work for us and in one fantastically creative compilation, provides 100 days of adventure that span every season. If ever you have absolutely no idea on what to do with your kids, this book is going to save you. If you're ever stuck watching other kids and feel like they are going to take over, this book will save you. 

My youngest two immediately grabbed this from my desk and started making a list. They made me a list. While that's great because I have a game plan for the summer, but now I feel like there are expectations. Yay me! Ha! Topping the list for them is rock painting (to make The Perfect Pet, page 20) and learning about rocks (page 69), becoming an Insect Expert (page 30). They also want to pick and dry apples (page 66), so we're going to incorporate this into a trip to an apple festival in the fall. Topping the list for both Penelope and Lucy, is going on a Rainy-Day Ramble (page 78). They have asked about going out into the rain dozens of times and honestly, nothing sounds worse to me, but this mom? Is going on a rainy day ramble with a couple of little girls who really want to go shopping for waterproof pants. We also are going to make a book nook (page 114) for our summer reading. 

The book is so well organized, your kiddos won't have any problem going page to page and making their own list. You are surely going to be mom of the summer (and every other season). Thank you to TLC Book Tours and Thomas Nelson Publishing for having me on this tour and sending me a copy for review! I secretly love roping my kids into book reviews, and any time I see them get excited when new books come, is the absolute best. 

Book Review: Fierce Love

I don't know what it's like where you are, but it is absolutely freezing where I am. I hate even complaining because honestly, it could be (and has been) worse, but woo- it's a nippy one. 

Fierce Love - Susan Scott

Often in our romantic relationships, we long for deep connection, but we don't know how to communicate well and sometimes withhold what we're really thinking and feeling. This can lead to fighting, resentment, or, worse, complacency--where you are just going through the motions, more like roommates than two people in love. As Susan writes, "It's as if we've pulled off our own wings." As couples, we don't stop to think how important our conversations are. And we certainly don't understand that what we talk about and how we talk about it determine whether our relationships will thrive, flatline, or fail.

In Fierce Love, New York Times bestselling author Susan Scott guides couples through eight must-have conversations that lead to deep connection and lasting commitment. Through the use of true stories and hands-on exercises, Susan helps us understand that the conversation is the relationship;

identify and dispel five relationship myths that mislead and derail us;

learn eight conversations that are critical to enriching relationships; and

stop fighting or ignoring issues and start connecting in a deep and meaningful way.

After a season where many relationships were tested and tried, where some relationships thrived and others have exposed cracks couples didn't even realize were there, or realized but didn't acknowledge, now is the best time to learn to communicate well. By having honest, compelling conversations with our partners, we can foster true connection and a fierce love that will withstand the test of time and grow stronger over the years.

I've read a lot of articles about celebrities breaking up and divorcing since the pandemic started, and in real life, I know of a lot of couples who I thought were solid were actually in the middle of a divorce. Many blame the pandemic and basically too much together time, and that feels like an excuse. It's not the pandemic or the time, it's the issues that have been there all along, but were easy to ignore in the day to day life that keeps us all busy. 

Marriage, and relationships, are hard. I heard a song the other day by Spencer Crandall called "Made" and in it he says that soul mates aren't found, they're made, and I thought that was so spot on. I always thought the idea of us finding our soul mate was so impossibly daunting in a world as big as ours, but so was the idea of us really deciding that THIS was the person because what if... what if we're wrong? Well of course that's the basis of most reality TV shows, right? But I really believe the song, our soul mate is made, we make it by putting the work in. We have really great days, really bad days, everything in between days, and we always wonder if we made the right choice, sometimes we wish that person would change instead of us reevaluating our expectations. If there is one thing Matt and I can say about our marriage, its that we have literally gone through every one of our vows. Sickness and health? Yup. Good times and bad? For sure. Death? Um, yeah, we've actually been there and done that. I will say there was a time that I was convinced we were going to get divorced. I had a plan going forward and figured I was young enough, things would work out for me. Of course, life happens and things change. Fast forward 13 years and we've been through even harder things, things that would shake any couple, and I've finally come to a space where I know Matt is it. He's my one. I know that no matter what, Matt has my back and he's going to be there as my rock, and vice versa. I feel my safest with him, I feel like I am home with him. 

Oh but what a road to get there. 

In Fierce Love, author Susan Scott talks about communication and how your communication actually is the relationship. If it's shallow, so is your relationship. If you can get deep into it, so does your relationship. I also love that she gets into the conversation we all need to have (and should) but we know that it could change everything, and really think about that, what is something you need to talk about with your partner but you know that if the answer isn't great, it's going to change the relationship for sure, but maybe even the trajectory of your life? 

My absolute FAVORITE part of this book is part 2 and she goes into the five myths that basically sabotage us. Honestly, look at your social media and you can find a handful of friends who have "met their soul mate" or "the love of their life" a few times now, and truly, you need to throw this entire book at them with this entire section highlighted! To sum all five myths up: nobody else can complete you, true love isn't unconditional, nobody will fulfill your list/meet every requirement, they love you and probably don't know, and love isn't all you need. I was literally screaming at this entire section because it is all so very true. 

No book on love and relationships could end without giving you something to work on or to do, and this one is no different. The last sections are eight conversations you really need to have. It's important going into them knowing you both have to be truthful, and you both have to accept the results of the conversations. I guarantee your partner is going to say something that might hurt, or might sting, but it doesn't mean everything is going to hell and you pack their stuff, it means you've got a springboard to getting into deep communication, and that's what every relationship needs. 

Whether you're already married, or maybe thinking about getting married, this is definitely a worthwhile read. Thank you to TLC Book Tours and Thomas Nelson Publishers for having me on this tour and sending me a copy for review! 

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Book Review: Getting Good With Money

 Hey... raise your hand if adulting really sucks! Ha! If you are like us, dealing with your financial situation is such a daunting, and stressful, experience and you never really feel like you have any kind idea of what is going on. If you set a goal of being in a better financial position in 2022, this book is for you. 

Getting Good With Money - Jessi Fearon

Certified financial coach and mom Jessi Fearon leads the way for overwhelmed readers struggling to get a handle on their finances and lays out the doable steps her family underwent to pay off all their debts--even their mortgage!--and pursue their dreams, all on a $47,000-a-year salary.

Jessi Fearon vividly remembers the day she broke down, knowing that her family could not pay the bills with a second baby on the way. Like many Americans, they were overwhelmed by debt and living paycheck to paycheck, wondering if it was possible to ever get ahead, or even catch up. But on that day, something changed, and she and her husband decided to make a drastic lifestyle change that would put them back on the path toward their dreams. Their decision not only allowed her to stay home with their children, but in two years, they were able to pay off their consumer debt and, in six years, they paid off their home mortgage--all on their $47,000-a-year income. And now she shares what she's learned with others who are struggling just like she once did.

Getting Good with Moneyis written for the busy, overwhelmed reader who wants to manage the money she does have while still giving her family a good life, even if she doesn't have a finance degree or a six-figure income. With been-there wisdom and step-by-step help, Jessi shows readers how to take control of their finances with practical first steps to budgeting and understanding debt; identify the four different ways people struggle with money and how each one affects the way they manage--or mismanage--their money; replace the lies they've believed about money with the five Money Truths to overcome barriers and better understand how to make their version of the American Dream a reality; and discover various money-saving apps, financial tips, and ideas for generating additional income to pay off debt more quickly.

Getting Good with Money will inspire, encourage, and equip readers to achieve the real-life changes they need. More than just a "how to budget" book, this is a comprehensive roadmap to financial freedom from an average family making things work on a middle-class salary.

The great thing about this book is it came at the absolute perfect time for us. About four months ago Matt and I bit the bullet and decided to switch over to a cash envelope system, which I'm not going to lie, is tough for awhile. Now that we've done it for a little bit, it is not only getting easier, but we're seeing it make a big difference. 

I love that the author talked about how, despite blogging and sharing about their budgeting and financial journey, everyone assumed they had some kind of secret that they were hiding from others. Not just that, but she compares racking up debt to gaining weight, it just happens because it's easy and you're not really thinking about it until oh hey.... the bill comes (or you step on the scale) and you think, oh crap. The rule we still struggle with from time to time? Not using any form of debt. I find that things come up, like Olivia's car needs a repair and we really need to get that fixed, I want to just swipe a credit card and get it done, move onto the next crisis, you know? I know I am that kind of person that I can't have things sitting on a to-do list, just waiting to be done, it makes my anxiety go through the roof. 

I absolutely loved this book so much, it was so easy, it felt like a good friend who knows what she's doing sitting with you at your table and telling you what you're going to do. Do you know how some budgeting and financial books almost sound.... condescending? I don't think they mean to be, but it is what it is. Getting Good With Money is the absolute opposite. Not only is it full of practical information throughout, it has questions that every person is thinking in their head and the answers we need to hear. If you think you don't have what it takes to budget, and slow your roll at Target, I promise that you absolutely do. 

Thank you so much to FSB Associates and Thomas Nelson Books for having me on this tour and sending me a copy for review. I keep referencing this one because it's so easy and concise, we could all use this one. 

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Book Review: The Flirtation Experiment

Well, I'm behind in life... as usual. Actually, all of this week was mostly spent laying in bed because vertigo strikes again. I also started having tremors but only in my torso, arms, hands, and head, so that was fun. I have no idea what is causing them, but I've increased my cortisol treatment in the hopes I've just got some weird thing and my body needs extra help fighting it off. I have no idea, it's really just a guessing game anymore. 

The only good part was I got to read a little more! Well, at least until the tremors made the book move too much and I got dizzy. I'm a super fun time, y'all. 

The Flirtation Experiment  

Lisa Jacobson and Phylicia Masonheimer

Romance novels, Hallmark movies . . . the immense demand for romantic stories reveals a deep, unsatisfied longing that can be found in many marriages, but does it have to be that way? Is it possible that the best marriage has to offer can grow, rather than fade after you say “I do”? Lisa and Phylicia say, “Absolutely yes!” 

So what is the secret to a happy, thriving, loving marriage, where the fire of romance and close friendship do not fade? While The Flirtation Experiment includes the frisky side of marriage, it’s far more than a good romp. By degrees, each chapter takes you to a deeper place, covering themes every beautiful marriage has in common, such as covenant, healing, and hope. 

After reading The Flirtation Experiment, wives will be filled with hope and encouragement for how they can make a powerful, positive change in their marriages, become empowered to pursue their husbands romantically, understand the Bible invites women to be proactive in their marriages, be motivated to consistently love in creative ways, and forge closeness and intimacy in their marriages. 

In June Matt and I will celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary, and that seems crazy to me. It's equal parts of feeling like it's been an eternity with him, and then other times I feel like it can't possibly be that long already. I always tell people that anything that could be thrown at a marriage has been thrown at us at some point. We've done the richer or poorer thing, we've done sickness and in health, we've dealt with financial highs and lows, literally every milestone people our age could deal with, and we've definitely had good times and bad, but we still keep plugging along. Not that it has been a smooth or easy road, but I think we just both made a conscious decision we were going to make this work, somehow, some way. 

One of the challenges that we, and most other couples, face is keeping that spark alive. I always laugh when I hear people say, "I love him but I'm not in love with him" because to me, that's insanity. The love you feel at the beginning isn't meant to last. Things change as you change, and you just have to go with it. 

So let's talk about this book, it is a rather quick read, so I'm confident you can get through it in a weekend easily. Matt and I aren't particularly religious so while the book does feature a Christian approach to marriage, there is still a lot of things to take away from it that you'll find useful in your own marriage. One thing that was a huge learning moment for me in our early years of marriage is that a fear of intimacy can manifest as anger. The authors mention that "anger can be a gut-level response to fear of loss, fear of intimacy, or fear of failure. In my case, I lashed out at Josh whenever I felt like I was failing." 

Hi- I'm fully guilty of that. I know that I get angry with or towards Matt when I'm stressed out, I'm overwhelmed, I'm anxious, I feel like I really suck at life. I think we all do that at some point. It's taken me a lot of years to make myself pause and really ask myself WHY am I so angry right now? Does yelling at anyone really help this situation? Do I get it right every time? Good lord no. I try really hard though and I think that's something that comes with getting older and gaining maturity, too. 

Overall, this was alright. I'd give it a solid 3 stars for me but I think that's also because again, we aren't particularly religious, so a lot of the Bible references weren't relevant to us. I think if you have a relatively good marriage, this might be helpful to make it better, or work on some areas that need improvement. If your marriage is really struggling, this isn't going to get you out of the ditch, so to speak. It is a pretty quick read though, and the humor throughout really helped this from feeling like a self-help but rather, an informative counseling session with a friend who has been there and done that. 

Thank you to TLC Book Tours for sending me a copy for review and having me on this tour! 

 

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Book Reviews: Night Night Angel, and Slothy Claus

I am so grateful we are staring down the end of the week because honestly I'm not sure if I could handle any more week, you know what I mean? Friday is going to be an insanely busy day and, once again, I failed to really look at my calendar before agreeing to things.  It's OK though, I'm basically helping people all day long so I can't hate that, I just need to really take time to listen to my body and take a damn break when I need to. Which, ugh- that's a whole other post... maybe for next week. 

Anyways! I have two children's books for you today and if you know anything about me, you know that Christmas is my absolute favorite EVER. I'm already itching to wrap things, but I'm really trying to hold out a little longer. On Monday I'm putting my office Christmas tree though, that's all there is to it. 

Night Night Angel & Slothy Claus

First, let's talk about these covers because I love them so much. As soon as I heard the title Slothy Claus, I was completely in because sloths are the absolute best and I just really want to hug one. Will it claw my face? Probably. Would I still give it a good try? Absolutely. I can't remember if I mentioned that Penelope is an amazing little artist at age six, and her favorite thing is to recreate covers of books, so I included her version of a Slothy Claus cover. Night Night, Angel has an equally adorable cover because illustrated animals are the sweetest things ever. Again, it makes me think I can go hug animals in the wild, but Matt assures me I absolutely cannot do that because he ruins all of my fun. 

Slothy Claus- Jodie Shepherd

What will children do when a sluggish Slothy Claus doesn't make it to their home in time for Christmas morning? This charming story helps kids learn that Christmas is about more than just presents under the tree.

Slothy Claus has lots of presents for good boys and girls this year, but how is this notoriously lethargic animal supposed to travel all around the world in just one night? You guessed it! Slothy takes his sweet time, and when kids wake up to empty stockings and bare trees, it feels like Christmas is ruined! How will they ever find happiness without their chocolates and toys?

I'm going to start by telling you that not only did I love this story, but so did Penelope and Lucy! The story features Slothy Claus, who is like Santa but for animals. He's packing his sleigh but is slower than molasses, which only lets down the animals wishing for Slothy Claus to bring them goodies. Of course, everyone is disappointed when Slothy Claus doesn't come, but they soon learn that Christmas about gifts but instead, of being together. Eventually though, Slothy Claus does make it.... just not on Christmas. 

Lucy thought this was funny and Penelope looked slightly concerned when I told her this year Santa is taking a break and Slothy Claus is actually going to take over. These girls 100% believe in Santa and everything about it so their first thought was who do they write their wish list to? HA! Of course I told them it was just a story but we had fun talking about the what if's together. Loved this one!

Night Night, Angel - Amy Parker

'Tis the season for joy! Celebrate the family fun and season's blessings of Christmas with a young arctic fox as your family remembers that Jesus is the best gift of all. Amy Parker's delightful rhymes and Virginia Allyn's sweet illustrations make Night Night, Angel the perfect read-aloud for toddlers and preschoolers enjoying the Christmas season.

Little fox loves all the excitement that Christmas brings to the forest: making creative presents, placing the star on the tree, and making sure she is spotlight-ready for the big Christmas play. But soon she realizes that the perfect gift has already been given through the baby who arrived on the first Christmas night!

Honestly, who doesn't love a good board book? These are perfect for Lucy because sometimes she has a hard time turning pages even still, her little fingers just can't quite do it some days. Again, this isn't very long and is a great one for beginning readers to practice on- it's full of sight words! 

In here we have all of the animals getting ready for Christmas by doing various tasks that we all enjoy doing as we prepare, baking, making a snowman, making gifts for others, decorating a tree, etc. I should include that in this book it does have a Christ centered approach so if that isn't your thing, know that going in. Our family is particularly religious but we still enjoyed this book quite a bit. 

The girls thought it was hilarious because there is a part that mentions that hanging lights is Daddy's favorite part, and in our family... Daddy strongly dislikes hanging lights! Every year it becomes a thing and it'll likely become a favorite childhood memory of theirs for sure. 

It's a gentle story that is sure to make your little one sleepy, and you, too. 

Thank you to TLC Book Tours for having me on this tour! It's never too early to shop for the holidays, and I am a big advocate for including books with any gift for children, and these would both make excellent picks!

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Book Review: Checking In

How are you? I mean, how are you really? I feel like there are so many people on both my Facebook and Instagram feeds really struggling. I know I have good days, which aren't good but aren't as bad as bad days so I'm calling them good days, and I have bad days. Some days are just really bad. Some days are good and out of nowhere become a bad day. Sometimes I think those are the worst. If you're like me and struggling, this is a GREAT book to settle in with. 

Checking In - Michelle Williams

“I need help.”

Those three words saved Grammy Award–winning singer Michelle Williams’s life. After decades of sweeping her anxiety and depression under the rug—even during her years in the spotlight with Destiny’s Child—Michelle found herself planning her own funeral. Realizing that she needed immediate help and could no longer battle her anxiety and depression alone, she checked herself into a treatment facility. When she came home, she was energized and determined to check in on a regular basis with herself, God, and others.

Practical, engaging, and full of wisdom, Checking In helps us understand that building walls around our vulnerability can hinder our healing; we need to reject the lies of anxiety and depression and replace them with the truth of God’s Word; joy can be found when we release toxic thought patterns;
childhood wounds need to be healed; freedom can be found when we forgive ourselves and others; and
a beautiful life comes from living honestly. An uplifting, behind-the-scenes look at one woman's path to healing, Checking In reminds you that you are not alone, and that God is not yet finished writing your story.

I remember, vaguely, after I had Lucy. I was in no shape at all to be doing anything, let alone being a mom to anyone. I wasn't healthy, I was still recovering from a harrowing birth, I was crying all of the time, and I was a mess. It wasn't the first time I had post-partum depression, but I was pretty confident it was going to be the worst, and I was right. I remember going to a follow up appointment with the doctor who actually delivered Lucy to get a run down of what the hell happened to me, and at some point she asked how I was doing. I think I just started crying and saying I was fine, which clearly, I was not. I remember her holding my hand and saying she really thinks I need to see a therapist who specializes in trauma and maternal health. I was in straight denial about it but there was this hot second that I just agreed and said, "Yes- I need help" and it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. I know for sure that had I not started therapy and worked with a psychiatrist to get onto the right medication, I would be dead right now. 

I love how this book feels like you are sitting down with Michelle, having some coffee, trading stories about depression. She is so funny, so real, and so endearing, you just want to be her best friend. Invite her over to watch murder shows and stuff (I see you, girl!). I think that's what makes this book so relatable- she's a regular person dealing with problems we all struggle with, and even the rich and famous aren't immune. 

My favorite part was when she talked about understanding feelings versus intuition. I needed this so much. I often don't do things because I have a feeling and it doesn't seem right. I struggle with knowing the difference between it being regular anxiety versus my intuition sounding the alarm. I have to consciously ask myself a series of questions to figure out which one covers my hesitancy, but it is really hard. She also talks about having depression in her younger years and how it manifested itself differently, which was interesting because the longer I go through therapy, the more I am able to look back on my younger years and things make more sense to me now that I know more about mental health. 

I will say, if you are familiar with Michelle Williams, you know she's a spiritual person and is connected with God in every way. Her strong beliefs are reflected throughout the book, so if religious discussion turns you off, this isn't the book for you. If you can still find value around that, I highly recommend this one. I loved the conversational writing, it makes the book so fast to read and I got through this in one night. It probably helped that this was something I could relate to and left me thinking about areas in my life that I need help in. I mean, being able to say "I need help" is the first step, but it's also the hardest step. 

Thank you to TLC Book Tours and Thomas Nelson Publishing for having me on this tour and sending me a copy for review. I absolutely loved this and man- Michelle can come hang out with me anytime. We'll eat snacks and watch murder shows. I'm down. 

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Book Review: It Is What You Make Of It

How is it only Thursday? I mean, I'm asking for real. It's weird because it feels like the week just started but also, I am fully over this week. Matt and I started our nightly walking again and lord alive.... I am out of shape. So.. I'm not looking forward to going out tonight, but I need to because my pants are tight and I refuse to buy bigger ones. Not going to happen. 

It Is What You Make Of It - Justin McRoberts

“It is what it is”—a common phrase you hear and maybe even say yourself. But the truth is that there is not one square inch in the whole domain of our human existence that simply is what it is. Justin McRoberts invites you to embrace a new mindset: it is what you make of it.   

With warmth, wisdom, and humor, McRoberts shares key moments from his twenty-plus years as an artist, church planter, pastor, singer-songwriter, author, neighbor, and father, passing on lessons and practices learned about making something good from what you’ve been given rather than simply accepting things as they are. 

Thought-provoking but actionable, It Is What You Make of It declares that love doesn’t just win, mercy doesn’t just triumph, and light doesn’t just cast out shadow. Rather, such renewal requires the work of human hands and hearts committed to a vision of a world made right (or at least a little better). When we partner with God in these endeavors, we love the world well and honor the Creator in whose image we are made.

We will not be remembered for who our parents were or where we were born or what our socioeconomic circumstances were. We won’t be remembered for our natural talents and strengths or the opportunities we were given or the challenges we faced. In the end, each of us will be remembered for what we made with what we were given.

One of the most annoying things I hear personally about my struggles is "it is what it is"... that is right up there with "it could be worse". Every time I hear it my eye twitches and I want to go completely off on the person but I don't because I know people say it with good intentions. Usually I think they don't know what else to say so it's a conversation filler. I think as humans we have to really try to listen to the words we say and just know sometimes the only thing you can say is, "I'm sorry, that is just awful." and be done with it. 

I sometimes have a hard time with non-fiction like this, and I think it is from having been through significant life trauma and knowing that the majority of people cannot relate to what my reality is. Not everybody survives death after giving birth and are left with a multitude of ailments that disables you, including memory loss that leads to loss of some independence. 

I mean, if there is a support group for that specifically, I have yet to find it. 

One of the healing things that helps many is a support group, a place that you can relate to others in your situation and get validation. When you don't have that, it can be incredibly lonely and upsetting, especially when most people around you have no idea what you are going through. It's really hard to be a half-full kind of person in that scenario. That is where this book comes in, it gives you a lot of interesting suggestions on how to turn negatives into positives, or at least a new perspective in looking at things. 

The great thing is that it's rather short, just under 200 pages, and it makes a great read for people graduating, maybe embarking on a new adventure, stepping outside of their comfort zone, or maybe people generally just stuck in a rut and don't know what to do. The author brings humor to heavier situations, which makes this a lighter read and easier to get through. 

Also, I just have to share that there is such a thing as a competitive event involving Shakespeare. And it's kind of like a rap battle but with... Shakespeare verses. I mean, I finished the book and I keep thinking about this because it's bizarre but also... I mean... you've really got to be smart to get through that, right? 

Back to the review though, I just had to include that because it's so strange and I can't stop thinking about it. The book does have a Christian theme to it but it isn't overly Jesus, so if that isn't your thing, I think you can still take something away from the book as a whole. I think this would be a particularly interesting book for high school students to read and have a discussion with it, especially now when we put so much pressure on teenagers to make big life decisions, what are you going to do after school?, when most adults have no idea what their grand plan for life is. How can we expect a 17 year old kid to know? 

Overall? I'm giving this a solid 5 star. I don't normally do that high of a rating for a non-fiction but honestly, this one had me thinking about the times I've been rejected in a new light. It actually gave me the permission to close the door on some things that had really bothered me and it was because I was looking at them the wrong way. Or at least, I was missing some obvious questions I should have asked myself as to why things were the way they were. I just really got a lot from it and I think you will, too. 

A big thank you to TLC Book Tours and Thomas Nelson Publishing for sending me a copy for review and having me on this tour! 

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Book Review: Everybody Fights

I know it feels like I'm the world's worst blogger as of late, and I kind of am. I'm kind of the world's worst everything lately, so I guess I'm excelling at that. I won't even tell you life is busy because it is for everyone, but I will say I'm really struggling to keep up with life. I feel like even when I take things off of my plate, it doesn't help- it just moves priorities around and I still feel like I'm a mess. When I think about what life would be like if I had no priorities, no responsibilities... even that stresses me out because I'll always feel like there's something I should be doing.  

It's really a no win and I need to find better ways to manage this. Clearly my lists and reminders aren't enough. 

Everybody Fights - Kim & Penn Holderness

My wife drives me crazy sometimes. My husband should already know what I need. Is our marriage in trouble if we fight all the time? Is it possible to learn how to fight?

For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness have done the hard maintenance and the research. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?

With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their ten most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and wrap up hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way.

In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to

• conjure the magic of metacommunication
• break free of secret contracts
• banish the three Ds—distraction, denial, and delay
• carry their own individual baggage while helping each other deal with theirs

Penn and Kim metacommunication want people to know they’re not alone. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it. 

If you've been on Facebook anytime in the last couple of years, I guarantee that you have seen the Holderness Family and their hilarious music videos. Honestly, the ones made in the early days of the quarantine gave me life and I just remember one where he's rolling the garbage cans down the driveway and Kim is like, "garbage came last week" and the look on his face was all of us. To this day I cannot tell you if it's garbage week and I've stopped trying to figure it out. 

What's endearing though is that you can tell this couple love each other and get along really well, genuinely have fun with each other- but we all know that cameras turn off and doors close.... then what? I love that they have written this book because one of the things I'm most proud of is how hard Matt and I have worked at keeping our marriage going. I say it often, but we have LITERALLY tested each and every vow at least once. We've had bankruptcy, infidelity, miscarriage, unplanned babies, me dying, me being not well, discovering we have WILDLY different ideas on a lot of different things, and then a bunch of good times, too. Of all of the people we know who got married the same year we did, we are the only ones still going strong. Not to say we're some super couple, sticking together out of spite at this point, but we have worked so hard at making it work. I tell people all of the time that absolutely nobody realizes going in that marriage is harder than anything. It's harder than parenting, and we're in the middle of doing that times 4, marriage is by far harder. You know why? 

Because someday the kids will move out (hopefully) and then it'll just be Matt and I. We don't want to get there only to realize we don't even like each other anymore. 

If you are at all married, wanting to be married, might be getting married, struggling in a marriage, divorced and wondering what's wrong with you, etc.- you need this book. Reading this book is like sitting with the best marriage counselor you can find. No, it's like watching people you know end up on a daytime psychiatrist show and knowing what they need to do but still watching it to the end to validate you were, after all, right. I always know what other people should do but when it comes to me... it's a mystery. 

One of the BEST pieces I got from the book, that I know is my worst fault: "..when you're trapped in a fight, you can't bounce around all over the place trying to find a way out. We had moved on too quickly to the next issue before we had the first one resolved." This was early in the book and it was after they argued over chicken. Well, actually a bra. No, she was cooking chicken, she took her bra off, he was having a bad day, he was sick of chicken and said let's go out, and she's like, "no- my bra is off" and from there it went down to "you never help", "but I did what you asked", "why did I have to ask, you're so selfish", etc. 

I know for a damn fact Matt and I have this argument at least once a month. 

Other sections that really hit home? The one about snuggling.... I'm not a big snuggler. I think I used to be and that's what gave Matt the impression that hey, "this girl likes to the cuddle and hug!", but since dying and such? Yeah.... stop touching me. I don't like hugs that drag out, not even from my kids. If I want to snuggle, I'll initiate it but good god GET OFF OF ME. 

We're still working through that. 

Also? The chapter on money. I think the face that Matt and I have been together since the beginning of our 20's makes us a bit different. We were never really financially set on our own, and never really figured out responsibility and future planning on our own, so trying to learn all of that WITH someone at their pace? 

It's been..... a challenge. 

Some years he's our super saver and financially fiscal person. Some years he falls off the wagon and it's me, the chronic spender trying to guide the ship and that's no good. Getting on the same track at the same time has been really hard, even more so now that he's the only one working and the money dynamic is different. I feel like money is so hard because it's the easiest thing to turn into a weapon. 

I could go on and on about this book, but I'll end it with I love their suggestion of being your partner's publicist. I know people get annoyed with the "my husband is amazing" posts but you know what? I love them. I don't look at it as making it look like our lives our so great, it tells me your husband did something pretty cool and that you want others to admire him for it. Maybe it doesn't have to be a public thing, sometimes just a note in his lunchbox that says, "I'm thankful you work so hard for our family. I love you for that." is enough. We are not telling each other the things we like or appreciate about them and it does amazing things. One compliment can turn someone else's entire attitude around. 

A huge, HUGE thank you to TLC Book Tours for having me on this tour and Thomas Nelson for sending me a copy for review. This is maybe one of the best books on marriage I've read, it's a fast read and easy to get through but also apply to your own relationships. 

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