Book Review: Don't You Forget About Me

I have some photos and even funnier stories to share with you but I need to get myself in order before I can do that, so be patient. I'm really having a hard time getting myself into a comfortable routine with the kids in school, dance, book stuff, house stuff, me stuff, and so I feel like I'm on a bicycle with a wobbly wheel when you know the damn thing is going to fall off eventually.

That's basically my life.

Don't You Forget About Me - Mhairi McFarlane

If there’s one thing worse than being fired from the grottiest restaurant in town, it’s coming home early to find your boyfriend in bed with someone else.

Reeling from the indignity of a double dumping on the same day, Georgina snatches at the next job that she’s offered – barmaid in a newly opened pub, which just so happens to run by the boy she fell in love with at school: Lucas McCarthy. And whereas Georgina (voted Most Likely to Succeed in her school yearbook) has done nothing but dead-end jobs in the last twelve years, Lucas has not only grown into a broodingly handsome man, but also has turned into an actual grown-up with a business and a dog along the way.

Meeting Lucas again not only throws Georgina’s rackety present into sharp relief, but also brings a dark secret from her past bubbling to the surface. Only she knows the truth about what happened on the last day of school, and why she’s allowed it to chase her all these years…

I know I've read two other books by Mhairi McFarlane (It's Not Me, It's You and Who's That Girl?) and I enjoyed them but they weren't ones I was going to re-read, you know? Now we have Don't You Forget About Me and this one was pretty dang cute and this one is one I will likely snuggle in with again because I really enjoyed reading this start to finish. 

We all have a first love and that's what this book jumps on with Georgina and Lucas. I'll be honest and tell you the reason I picked this one was because I really am drawn to stories where a character has a bad day that just gets exponentially worse because if you know me in real life you know that I always say, "No wait, it gets worse!" and anything on that premise sells it for me. Georgina is having a really bad run of luck but it gets to a point of humiliation when she has to take the first job she can which means her first love?

Would be her boss.

That's bad enough but he has absolutely no memory of her.

Now... think back to your first love. I know mine and I have to say, if he didn't remember me after all that... not a confidence boost, friends.

The best part about this book is you can completely relate to Georgina and you can really empathize with her feelings and her situation in general. You want to be pissy with Lucas but honestly? You can't because they are adorable and I wanted them to be together. (No, I'm not going to tell you if they are or not, just trust me- it's worth it.) So not only do we have a romance and some comedy in here, there is some drama thrown in so this is a little bit of everything for everyone. You are going to really enjoy this one.

You can head over to HarperCollins website to find this one (HERE) but also Mhairi's other books, which are just as fun! Happy reading lambs!

   

A big thanks to TLC Book Tours and William Morrow for sending me an ARC of this one! This post does contain affiliate links, so be a dear and order from those so I can keep this little 'ol blog rolling. 

Purple fingers, season change, and pills

It's been awhile since I've talked about what's happening health wise. Not that I think anyone really cares, but it's been nice for me to constantly have this to check back on when I forget. Between my blog and Facebook memories, that's really the only memories I have. Is it weird to say I'm grateful for social media for that? Anyways.

So it's fall, and as I look back on this time of year the last three years I see that this depressing slump I'm in is pretty par for the course. I had therapy last week and I went in as a wreck. An hour no longer seems like a long enough session and she said maybe down the road I might consider going weekly because I seem like I could benefit from it.

That's probably true, but I'm getting tired of always waving the flag. Every threshold I've had in the "I'm not that bad" column I seem to be crossing off and it's frustrating and defeating.

It's fall now and I can feel depression coming in like the cold weather. Any motivation I had to try to do things is pretty much gone. My interest in pretty much everything is gone. My appetite is gone. I'm so tired all of the time that all I want to do is sleep. Even with my medications it's just.... gray. Everything feels gray.

Have you ever been to the blog Hyperbole and a Half? Anyone who was anyone in the world of blogging 5-10 years ago had visited this blog regularly and she just did it so well and ended up writing a book and it is great. Anyways- she did a blog about depression that was so SPOT ON and honestly, if you  have never seen it, please-please-please go, read it, and come back.

Go HERE.

OK, so that's kind of what it is. It feels much worse some days. It dawned on me the other day that the idea of dying or being dead no longer scares me. I think for a little while after my AFE the idea of killing myself or being dead was scary because I had never had the feeling of wanting to be dead. I think when you first register yourself as someone struggling with suicidal ideation (which is different than being suicidal, don't freak the hell out, people) it's kind of alarming. More alarming though is being in it right now and know that you had a couple of weeks/months where you didn't think about it and you never realized how good you were having it right then because you depression is still bogging you down. Then you realize that's it is really depressing that that moment in time becomes the goal, knowing that you are fully depressed and feeling awful but at least you didn't think about wanting to die everyday.

That's a really depressing goal.

It also makes me wonder why am I even hanging on if that's my goal, that's what I'm working towards. Because that couple of weeks/months wasn't great at all, it was just a period of nothing. I felt nothing, but I wasn't raging. Realizing that my brain functioning makes no sense to me but is also really difficult to manage is just.... it's defeating.

Aside from that though, the medical situation is just as bad.

Auto Immune stuff: My inflammation lab work is still very, very high despite taking my methotrexate every Wednesday. I was on 8 pills on Wednesdays and then she had me do half in the morning, half in the evening to see if my body absorbed it better. It didn't seem to make a difference and the lab work showed that. Now I'm up to 10 pills on Wednesday, split doses again, and still- I feel no different. I've become one of those people who are like a weather barometer- I can feel the weather. Last week was pretty rough and I normally feel like I'm getting the flu but last week I felt like I was on day 3 of the worst flu of my life. That was every day and there isn't a thing I can do to deal with it. Plus, my fingers are almost constantly purple so hello, fall.

Gut check. I continue to have really horrible abdominal pain. I've done so many tests, scans, and lab work and nobody has any idea why my entire abdomen area hurts. It's not heartburn, it's not my gall stone, it's not my liver or appendix, it's not cancer, it's not any weird disease or syndrome, it's not a diet issue, they legitimately have no idea. Which is just great. They said I could "come back if I wanted to" later this year and it's like YES- BECAUSE MY ENTIRE MIDSECTION HURTS EVERY DAY TO THE POINT OF HAVING TO LAY DOWN AND DOING BREATHING EXERCISES AS IF I WAS IN LABOR TO GET THROUGH THEM. So yes, I want to come back. Fucking fix this. Jesus. I mean, I get not knowing, but ask another doctor, send me somewhere else, literally do anything at this point.

Busted. In not sexy news, my entire reproductive system and parts seem to be busted. Intercourse hurts and it's all for nothing because I can't feel anything and orgasms aren't happening. I know that this is probably really normal for my situation but the last three years has been... crappy. I see my primary care doctor in November for my physical so that's on the agenda but yeah. It's busted. Also, the hot flashes are getting SO MUCH WORSE. I only get a period once a year (which is just fine) and this year I got it maybe a month ago and it was so painful and I felt like someone was actually stabbing me for an entire day. It only lasted for one full day, and so I'm grateful for that because it was painful.

Neurology. I won't get into it much here but just know, my memory is not improving. For awhile there I thought maybe it was but that was like a false oasis because it's gotten worse. At first you think it's just little things like your car keys or phone go missing, you forget to put the milk away or shut a cupboard- all stuff that regular people do everyday. I know people blow that stuff off when I talk about it but for me, that's irregular. That is not my normal, those are not things I normally would do. Then it kind of morphs into other stuff. I'll forget to take my medications, I'll sort them all wrong or forget to have Matt check them, I'll forget to wear my CPAP mask at night, forget to shower or how to wash my hair, I couldn't remember how to tie my shoes last week. I dropped Penelope off at school and couldn't remember how to turn my car on and then how to get home. The forgetting where I live thing is starting to happen more and more. I had a bigger incident that I know Matt kind of brushed off and said, "well you remembered- and that's what matters" and I'm like, NO- the fact I forgot IS A BIG DEAL.

Sometimes it feels like a split personality. Where fog Sara is kind of in control and at the wheel but then old Sara pops in to say, "danger! danger!" and nobody listens. Like some little part of my brain knows I'm in murky waters but can't get me out.

I'm really afraid that I'm going to just progressively decline. I'm doing all of the puzzles and exercises, I do them all of the time, and still- it's not working. The closer I get to the 5 year mark (which is when I should be at my "peak recovery"), I'm getting scared, like I'm going to just miss the target.

Ha ha. I saw in Facebook memories that a few months after my AFE I was like, "god, I hate taking all of these meds" and I was only on 4 things. FOUR. That's nothing.

I've got all of my steroid replacements, my beta blocker, my acid reducer, my mental health medication, and my vitamins. And this is only my normal day, when I get to Wednesday I have to add 10 more in. 

That's my typical morning. I'm so used to it now that I don't even think about it but at every doctor appointment I ask if I can stop any of these. I know the answer will be no because my body doesn't produce any of this stuff or function without them, but I ask anyways.

I'm just in a really awful spot. Yes, I have my kids. Yes, I have things to look forward to. Yes, I have a great husband. Yes, I have family and responsibility. I know all of this, and I get all of this. But I also know that I'm tired. It's like asking an amputee to just drag themselves a little further through a desert when they are straight exhausted. I feel like I can't keep dragging myself around.

But I do it. I'm medicated and even-keel so I can keep going.

Book Review: Almanac 2020

Anything National Geographic does, I want to be a part of it. I've been lucky enough to be on a few of their review tours before (and I have a few more coming up!!) but when I saw Almanac 2020 up, I had to get on it because one of my favorite things to mindlessly page through is an almanac.

Almanac 2020 - National Geographic

The latest dynamic annual for the 21st century, featuring high-energy pages packed with facts, photos, infographics, time lines, and maps that capture today's world. Perfect for ages 12 to 112.

An almanac like no other, this book offers everything you need to know about the world in 2020--from science and nature to history, world cultures, and the environment. Filled with exquisite National Geographic photography, informative infographics, illustrated time lines, and authoritative maps, this striking new edition will celebrate the 50th anniversary of Earth Day with practical tips for improving your own sustainability habits.

The book begins with trending topics in science, technology, and culture, then moves into fascinating chapters on travel, exploration, earth and space, biology, culture, and history. Recurring features include inspiring quotes, revealing facts, photos from National Geographic's Instagram, and a Quizmaster trivia feature. With new discoveries on every page, this cutting-edge book brings you the world, no matter what your age.

I should tell you that if you want to encourage even a reluctant reader to pick up a book, have a National Geographic book on your table. If you've never perused the NatGeo online store you are missing out because you could probably get all of your Christmas shopping done right there. In Almanac 2020 there is a flamingo picture on page 195 that my daughter is obsessed with (flamingos are her favorite animal of all time) and she wants it as a poster or something for her room.

Anyways.

Almanac 2020 will make you feel equal parts dumb (because there is so much we don't know) and smart (because you will finish this knowing so much more information about a huge variety of things), and that's the best part about the book. The book is sectioned out as follows:

• Trending 2020
• Exploration & Adventure
• This Planet & Beyond
• Life on Earth
• The Science of Us
• Yesterday to Tomorrow
• Our World

Throughout the book they have a "quizmaster" page and it's a list of questions you think you know the answer to (spoiler, you most likely won't) and tells you which page you will find the answer on. My favorite section was Exploration & Adventure because our family is trying to make a state by state bucket list so we have a starting point for future road trip planning. (Bonus? I found a road trip playlist in the book!)

Fun Fact: Lake Superior stretches across 31,700 sq miles of the US and Canada making it the largest lake by surface area. (I already knew this because Lake Superior is only five blocks away from my house!)

My son really liked the section on fossils because the idea of something forever preserved in a rock is bizarre to him. My oldest daughter liked the page with animal tracks on it, she goes on "woods walks" with Grandpa (who worked with the DNR so he already knows this stuff), but she has been trying to identify what she sees out there. Same with the caterpillar and butterfly pages, our backyard becomes a caterpillar nursery for a good chunk of the summer and it's a serious enterprise they have going out there.

Also, there is a really FASCINATING section on understanding gender.There is actual science to that and I had no idea and didn't really understand it before but it was very cool to learn about. 

Not counting the index, it's 381 pages of JAM PACKED information. If you are a school librarian or even a classroom teacher, pick this one up and have it for that reluctant reader. The short sections and facts might be enough to keep them turning the pages. Also, if you home school your child(ren) this might be a great resource to have on hand. Every year these are so full of information and I wonder what they will include the next year and it continually blows me away. Not to mention the photographs are stunning, as usual, but I'm telling you, I made it through this book in just a few hours. My kids have been picking it up every time they sit on the couch. People who have come over automatically pick it up and learn something. It's a very cool book to have out.

Also, on page 316-317 it shows all of the variations of the American flag. Did you know the United States has had 29 versions of the flag? Each image shown lists the dates in which that flag was used and some are incredibly... interesting. All but one is the stars and stripes theme, but the design of the stars area has changed pretty radically over the years and that was pretty interesting.

I could go on and on with information in this book but I'll end this with telling you this is absolutely a 5 star read, no question. It's well organized, the information throughout the book is relevant to topics we see on the news but also just incredibly interesting. I think you'll really enjoy it!

A huge, huge thank you to National Geographic and TLC Book Tours for sending me a beautiful copy of this book for review! This post also contains affiliate links. 

Book Review: 1001 Dark Nights: Envy (An Eagle Elite Novella)

You know when you just want to read something really quick but don't have the time to invest in a whole novel? That's when I grab a novella. It's shorter (this one was only like 164 pages or something) and I flew through this in one night. The other great thing about the 1001 Dark Nights series is that it gives you a taste of an author. You can see if you like their writing style, the feel of the series, etc without having to go through a bunch of books. Rachel Van Dyken was a new to me author and HOLY COW I loved this book.

1001 Dark Nights: Envy An Eagle Elite Novella - Rachel Van Dyken

Every family has rules, the mafia just has more....

Do not speak to the bosses unless spoken to. 

Do not make eye contact unless you want to die. 

And above all else, do not fall in love. 

Renee Cassani's future is set.

Her betrothal is set. 

Her life, after nannying for the five families for the summer, is set

Somebody should have told Vic Colezan that. 

He's a man who doesn't take no for an answer. 

And he only wants one thing. 

Her. 

Somebody should have told Renee that her bodyguard needed as much discipline as the kids she was nannying. 

Good thing Vic has a firm hand.

How many novellas can you name that is 5 stars? Seriously. I can't think of any... until now. I have to say this has been on my shelf a couple of months now and I wasn't sure if this would be my thing but I was in between books and just needed to read something quick so I usually go for the smallest book I could find, so this was it. 

I have to tell you right up front that this book is around the mafia/mob scene, there is some violence, and it's thrown in there rather casually so if that kind of thing makes you squeamish... might want to steer clear OR try this novella to see if you could handle the rest of the series. I say that because even I'm like.... I'm not sure, man. I don't know if I could handle the series myself and you know I'm pretty open to anything. Even with that, this was 5 stars for me.

The story centers around Renee who is a nanny for the summer for a major mob boss, and she's there because her dad is in the mob and she's known this lifestyle since she was little. Enter Vic, who everyone knows is the guy who kills people for the mob, that's his sole job and rightfully so, Renee is terrified of him and avoids him at all costs. It's not hard to do because anytime he's around the hair on the back of her neck goes up, goosebumps, the whole bit. Well... stuff happens (how's that for vague?)... and suddenly Renee finds herself quarantined with Vic basically as her 24/7 bodyguard. And then.... stuff happens.... and they get cozy because they both realize they kind of have had the hots for each other for awhile.

BUT.

It's not that simple in the mob because it turns our Renee is an important person and there's a reason she's a "nanny" and at the end of the summer she finds out that she has no say in what happens to her.

You guys. I flew through this book. I cannot say that enough. A couple of hours this took me because I kept getting interrupted and I absolutely loved Vic (sure, he kills people for a job but you know.... he's still a good guy!), I loved how this all came around, and now I kind of want to read everything but I'm also completely terrified because I don't know if I can handle it. I mean, I've watched Mob Wives, it's not a fun lifestyle.

I'll keep you updated. In the meantime, you should absolutely pick this up and tell me if I should keep reading. I also need to know I'm not the only one who loves Vic. (I should and kind of feel like those women who fall in love with a serial killer in prison.)

   

I actually won this in an Instagram giveaway from author K.K. Allen, so that was really fun. Also this post contains affiliate links and I'm supposed to tell you that. 

Book Review: Chaser (Dive Bar #3)

I have to check but I think I only have one other book from this series and that is Twist, and I gave that one 4/5 stars. I got this one as a Christmas gift and I'm trying hard to work on my back list of books and let's just say it's kind of extensive but I'm making a real effort.

Chaser (Dive Bar #3) - Kylie Scott

Given his well-earned bad boy reputation, Eric is having a tough time scoring.. When single Jean moves to town, she seems heaven sent by the sex gods. Only problem is, she not only wants nothing to do with him, but it turns out that she's pregnant.

Starting over in a small town, Jean is determined to turn her wild lifestyle around and be the kind of mother she always wished she'd had. Since local bar owner and all round hottie, Eric Collins, is now determined to steer clear of her pregnant self, it should be easy. When she goes into labour during a snow storm and her car slides on some ice, it's Eric who comes to the rescue.

There seems to be a bond between them now, but is it enough? And can Eric give up his manwhore ways to be the man Jean needs? 

Full disclosure, I feel like Brittainy C. Cherry has ruined me for all other others because her books are amazing and blow my mind, so I'm not sure anything is going to live up to her and so you need to know that going into my review.

In this book we are following Eric, basically the man whore of the group from the Dive Bar. He's made some not great decisions and part of those play out in book one (which I haven't read but having read book two and three now, I don't really need to read book one since I've gotten the run down). Part of those bad decisions is Nell, who used to be pregnant with his baby and miscarried, and they are still friends but it's a little rocky. In walks Jean, she's fresh from Florida looking to make a new start and of course Eric is instantly attracted and tries to hit on her but is instantly rebuffed once he learns that Jean is Nell's friend AND Jean is really very pregnant. Like seven months pregnant.

Despite that, he's pretty attracted to Jean and even though Nell has made it very clear he is to steer his penis away from Jean, Eric finds himself spending time with her. Through a series of events, Eric unexpectedly finds himself as Jean's birth partner and the sparks are flowing though both of them are adamant that they are only friends. Can they be friends with benefits? How can this play out long term now that Eric forms attachments he's not at all accustomed to?

Overall, I kind of really loved Eric. He admittedly has no idea what he's doing and he is genuinely trying to do the right thing with Jean. What drove me nuts through the entire book is how terribly people treated Eric. He was probably a little immature but they act as if he's wholly incapable of being a good guy. Nell is the absolute worst but they all really shoot him down every time he tries to step up and I felt really bad for him and I got to thinking, if everyone put you down with every attempt, what would be the motivation to get better? So that was irritating for me throughout.

I would have to give this one a 3 1/2 star but I'll round it up to 4 for Goodreads. It was good, I'm not going to tell you to drop everything and buy this, but if you're looking for a solid romance with some steamy scenes and a good story line, this is a good option. It was also a really quick read and sometimes that's just what we need.

   

Just so you know, this post does have affiliate links which means when you purchase something from them, I get a couple of cents (literally) and it comes at no cost to you, and those cents add up (eventually) and it helps me keep this blog going. 

Book Review: Legacy and the Queen

A couple of months ago this book came in the mail and I'm like.... Kobe Bryant? What the hell is this? Then I got to paging through it and realizing it's focused around tennis (and magic) and I can't think of any other fiction book around tennis, so that's pretty cool. It's a neat book, and as we're going back to school, you might want to pick it up.

Legacy and the Queen - Kobe Bryant & Annie Matthew 

Game – Tennis means life and death for the residents of the magical kingdom of Nova, and for twelve-year-old Legacy, it’s the only thing getting her through the long days taking care of the other kids at the orphanage. That’s all about to change when she hears about Silla’s tournament.

Set – Silla, the ruler of Nova, hosts an annual tournament for the less fortunate of her citizens to come and prove themselves and win entrance to the Academy, where they can train to compete at nationals. The prize is Silla’s favor and enough cash to keep open the orphanage, and Legacy has her heart set on both. 

Magic – What Legacy has yet to know is that the other players have something besides better skills and more money than she does. In Nova, tennis can unlock magic. Magic that Silla used to save the kingdom long ago and magic that her competitors have been training in for months already. 

Now, with the world turned against her and the orphanage at stake, Legacy has to learn to use her passion for the game to rise above those around her and shine.

What an incredibly interesting book. I wasn't sure if this was going to be my cup of tea since magical realism and all of that isn't my go to trope or genre but I was immediately interested because my son is learning to play tennis and tennis as a major theme throughout a book isn't something I'm familiar with.

In this book we have Legacy, a 12 year old girl finds herself in a tennis tournament that could gain her a spot in the Academy. (It's like.. the Divergent series in a way, if you are one of the chosen and can prove your ability, your rank in this society increases and you are afforded better opportunities... just without all of the crazy violence in Divergent.) As it turns out, she's pretty good and even though her father is dead set against this, she goes anyways to the infamous Academy. She quickly realizes that tennis is the key to unlocking/becoming more magical and she learns that everything is basically riding on her ability to do that (and quickly).

I have to give this book an A for effort because the basic premise isn't new (disadvantaged kid in a new society they don't belong and are an underdog, but they save the day), the concept of excelling at a non-violent sport/craft to unlock magic and be more powerful is, at least to me. At the end of the book you realize this is very much a girl power inspired book, a stand-up-to-the-man if you will, book and I think that's a really inspiring message to send to kids (especially in the middle grade reading group, though I think kids as young as fourth grade would enjoy this). I really liked that as a mom of three daughters (and one son, who is actually reading this now and enjoying it), I'd like to see that message in more books.

A few missteps along the way, it felt a little hokey with the magic aspect of it, but like I mentioned above, that isn't really my go-to trope or genre and so just because I think it's a little cheesy, doesn't mean it would be to readers who do enjoy that. I hate to say it didn't feel real enough for me because it's a book about a magical land, but that's kind of how I felt.

Overall though? I'm giving this a solid 3 stars. I liked the book, I thought it was cute, it would probably be a fun read aloud/bedtime story, one-chapter-at-a-time book, but also one to have on hand in a classroom or library for that reader still trying to find their favorite genre of book, this just might peak their interest, it did mine.

   

Thank you to Granity Studios for providing an ARC of Legacy and the Queen for review! This post contains affiliate links. 

Weight Loss Journey: Bring on the professionals!

Admittedly, I didn't do a damn thing last week. I am really struggling with the season change and I always forget how tough the fall is for me until I'm in it. I feel my depression getting worse, my stress level going up, my anxiety going up, and everything on my body hurts. You know that feeling when you feel the flu coming on? You're achy, it's like your insides start to feel warm but you're actually cold, and you get that dull headache?

That's my every day.

It just progressively gets worse and worse until summer. So... that's a long haul. But it's true, I feel like I have the worst flu of my life for nine months of the year so that's really exciting and super fun to work through.

I have kept my diet pretty good and I haven't been overeating, or over snacking. I actually eat much smaller portions at meal time (I'm becoming notorious for eating half a sandwich and people are making fun of me but truly, even a half is just... too much.)

I do need to do more exercise but this week the kids go back to school and I will have about two and half hours of kid free time (not as much as I was hoping for, but I will absolutely take it!) and the plan is to absolutely do some kind of exercise. Whether it's a walk, a BeachBody workout, something.

Since having Lucy and losing huge chunks of memory, the first thing that I do every morning is check my Facebook memories. I know some people roll their eyes and think that's dumb but it's actually been so helpful because I get to see stuff I know I've forgotten. (Which only reminds me that everything I share, good and bad, on Facebook will be helpful for me later. Every time I post a status that worries people- oh well, because I know in a year from now, I'll be able to know where I was at the previous year.)

The other day, this picture showed up.

It blew me away. It's from a trip to Chicago in 2012 with a blogger friend at the time and our families. I don't remember the trip at all, but Olivia and Jackson do and they said we had the best time. But I look at this and think, holy hell- I look amazing. It's weird to think at the time I was running two to five miles every day and I was so unhappy with how I looked. I felt like I had so much further to go.

I'll tell you what- I wish I was that fat now. Honestly.

It also is startling to see me so happy and glowing and know this person would be dead in a few years. It's stuff like that that always freaks me out.

Anyways.

So when I was at my rheumatology appointment last week we're going over my lab work and she tells me my inflammation markers are much higher than they have been even though my methotrexate should be bringing them waaaaaaay down. She's increasing my methotrexate to the max level and I'll need tons of lab work for awhile and if this doesn't work I'll be on injectables and that's a whole other thing I'm upset about but that's another day.

She asks me how I'm doing with exercise and I tell her what I've been doing and how I'm really upset that I'm not losing weight. She is putting in a referral for a doctor locally who is a bariatric doctor that doesn't deal in surgery, but is also a family practice doctor. He essentially looks at ALL of your diagnosed issues, looks at all of your medications, and helps come up with a plan to lose weight.

A requirement for this is to read his book (and yes, this feels weird to me too but whatever- I want to see this doctor:

   

It was only like 76 pages or something so you know I flew through this in a day and there was some interesting information in it and I have a better idea where this doctor is coming from and kind of what to expect when I meet with him. 

So I'm just waiting to hear back and make an appointment. But I'm kind of nervous. The information I got says you meet with him monthly until you hit your goal weight and then every one to three months for maintenance. He sounds really in depth and thorough and I'm really, really hoping this helps. 

Cross your fingers they call this week to set this up!