Thursday, April 12, 2012

I'm about to get all Blair Witch in this bitch.

So, if you are my friend in real life you have heard my stories about Lillian. I don't know Lillian personally, and I bet she was a nice and feisty woman in her day, but the bitch is creepy me out. And before I get into this, let me just be clear- I'm a fan of old people. I like them, they are all right in my book. I'm not even against dead people, I mean- we all die, I don't think death should be something that makes you not like a person. But Lillian is creeping me out and now I think she has some friends.

First off, who is Lillian? Lillian is this lady who owned my house a long time ago. For whatever reason (she either died or she went to a nursing home to die), she sold the house to some do-it-yourself Menards employee who absolutely should not be a home improvement store employee because based on his work here, he is incompetent and maybe mentally handicapped. Anyways. So, she sold the house and when we were at the house closing as we were buying it, we had two conversations with the guy:

1. The toilet apparently "fell through the ceiling" at some point, though he is pretty sure he had fixed it. I almost shit myself because A) I had eaten Taco Johns right before and I was five months pregnant and B) not only did we not know that before we just signed our lives away but we had a very thorough home inspection because of the obvious things we knew that were wrong with the house. (Update- it turned out he was wrong, he just never installed the toilet correctly, which is why it was uneven. Idiot.)

2. Oh yeah, the house is haunted.

Now, when we moved in we really didn't notice anything. Everything was FINE. Then we started putting the addition to the house on and things got weird. We'd hear someone walking around upstairs, we'd actually see her in the living room at the base of the stairs, we have seen her sitting in a chair (the chair was like a ghost too, not like she was on our chair) looking out the window in the living room, etc. We've see cupboard doors do weird things, you get a weird feeling in the house sometimes, all kinds of stuff. Now, as far as we know only Matt and I have experienced these things. It always flares up when we do any kind of work on the house, except when we did the cubby hole- but I think that's because we were restoring a part of the house to how it used to be.

When Olivia was two we moved her into her "big girl room" because I was pregnant with Jackson so we would need the smaller room for the nursery. It made sense because then I wouldn't have to rearrange furniture, etc. Well, the room Olivia went into was our old room which was previously the master bedroom. Also, Lillian's room. I would put her to bed and hear odd things on the monitor but really, thought nothing of it. Now, Olivia has always been scared of the dark and really a shitty sleeper since the day she was born so I just assumed it's an Olivia thing. I have a freak daughter and this is something that will be endearing to her future spouse someday. I remember her telling me once when she was two or three that the "old lady sings" to her or talks to her and that's why she doesn't sleep. Again, we had a plan for her to tell the old lady that it was her bedtime and she needs her beauty sleep. For awhile, this seemed to work.

Until tonight.

At bedtime, Olivia was kind of hysterical. She doesn't want her door shut, she wants her mini blinds open, the closet shut, a flashlight and a night light. Basically, it comes down to the fact she sees "big white blobs" and they are scary. So I ask her how big they are (thinking maybe it's a light shining from the street, a shadow, a reflection, something) and she says they are like people. She said yesterday she woke up and there were people in her room. So she's asking me if I lock the doors and could I hear if someone came in the house or not.

Not even kidding you, I'm fucking freaked out.

Never mind the fact that I am terrified of the dark (not so much when I'm sleeping, but I don't like walking around in the dark no matter where I am) myself. The last few nights I have been up later than usual reading books while Matt snores and after I'm done reading, I have to pee. So I get up and have to turn all the lights on as I go to the laundry room to pee, and on my way back? I run as fast as I can and jump into the bed. What makes the last week or two different is that on my way back to my room (which is not a long distance at all), the back of my neck goes cold and the hair on my body stands up. I am now terrified in my own house. But I think about it, I was in Chicago and walked around our room in the dark and I was fine. I've walked around my mom's house in the dark and I'm fine. But every time I am in my house alone, dark or not, I feel creeped out. Oh!!! And I should make mention my cats are even more dysfunctional than usual. Batman especially, he keeps slinking around the house and making weird noises. Stumpy is kind of lazy and extra stupid, but he hissed at absolutely nothing yesterday.


What do I do? I need to tell Lillian it's time for her to go. And take her homeboys with her. Do I have any Ghost Buster readers? Do you have any suggestions for me??


Anna said...

You should apply to The Dead Files!

middle child said...

My house is over 110 years old and I have had the same issues here and there. I won't go into details but I can tell you that it is true these things tend to flair up during renovations. I don't know why. I think the best thing is to accept it and don't chow fear. I'm not sure how you can convince a child but maybe if you acknowledge that you believe her and that no one willhurt her... 'course that may back-fire. Just know you are not alonenor are you crazy. Things should return to normal once you are done with current project. No guarantees that Lillian won't come back during the next project.

Ruth said...

I have a ghost. My cat acts all weird sometimes and it has been known to play with lights and toys. It turned on my Christmas lights one night and set off one of Kiddos toys that was boxed up. That scared the crap out of me since it went off about 2:30 am and I was asleep.
My sister, who is Wiccan, used to smudge every house she moved into. To get rid of negative energy. I am not sure if that includes spirits. I don't really remember. I do know it involves burning some herbs and walking around the house.
But, you do need to find some way to get rid of them or her.
Now, I have the hebejebes!

Jennifer Kay said...

Oh my gosh dude, I knew about Lilian but I didn't know it was getting this bad! I would be in a tent out in the yard...fuck that. I would even be scared to be your NEIGHBOR.

Like Olivia needs more keeping her up at night. Pack bags and love to the homeless shelter, light that bitch on fire.

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...

I am now freaked the fuck out. Thanks for that. My house is OLD. Like... 89 years old. When we first moved in, I found a kernel of popcorn just chilling in the middle of the kitchen floor. We had no popcorn in the house. I didn't think much of it, figured the cats batted some out from under the stove or something. But it happened again the next morning. That freaked me out. But I haven't heard or seen a thing since. Maybe the house was just welcoming us? Who knows.

Ashley said...

Our farmhouse was built in 1899 and I don't *think* there's anybody there, but there have been odd the sound of the toilet lid slamming when only me and the pets were home and they were in the same room as me. Oh and the creaking sound of the front door opening but no one coming or going...

The forum on Old House Web has a lot of ghost stories on it, some threads with advice on asking them to leave.

Good luck! I'd be pissed if some opaque dead people were freaking out my kids (if I had kids, at least).

Josie said...

Thanks for freaking me the fuck out. My husband and I have been looking at houses, and I was already kinda worried about some of the older ones. My parents built the house I grew up in, but it still creeps me out. Part of me thinks it's on some sort of old burial ground.

Life Love & High Heels said...

You can always get a psychic that also specializes in helping people cross over come to the house.

Otherwise- keep verbally saying that it is your house now and although you want them to leave, they can stay as long as they behave and let Olivia sleep. And no more appearances!

Freaky though. Wow. Also- Can I spend the night??? :) Olivia and I will have a slumber party ;) but ps- I don't think I could sleep in her room alone. Whoa dude.

Julie H said...

My kids say our house is haunted but I have never seen a person. ::shudders::

Can you move? Sell that $ucker and get the heck out.

RandomRambler said...

Long comment ahead. But first I'd like to say, I have no doubt the sudden increase in sightings is because of your renovations. It probably freaks Lillian out that you're changing the house from what she knew.

Now, I know a lot of people wouldn't take this idea seriously, but I recommend calling TAPS from Ghost Hunters-for multiple reasons.

1) Their main goal is to help people out by giving them explanations. Multiple times, they've gone to houses where people are worried about paranormal activity. They are especially concerned when it comes to kids since they have their own. A link about their mentality:
2) They are serious about their work. This stuff isn't a joke to them and they're not just doing it for fun. They've been doing it for too long to be making light of it.
3) They ALWAYS try to debunk certain claims which may have an ordinary explanation. If nothing else, it may make it easier to deal with the house. So maybe if there's something you're not sure about, they can check it out and let you know whether it's paranormal or not. For example, the creepy feelings. They could be associated with faulty electrical wires. That sort of thing.
4) If you're uncomfortable with the idea, I'm sure they would not broadcast their investigation of your house. If you would still be worried, I'm sure they know of other groups who could help you out.
5) Their services are FREE. It's right there on their website, in the mentality link I gave you.

Give them a try. It may be exactly what you need to understand what is going on. And maybe they could ease Olivia's fears, as well.

RandomRambler said...

I'm leaving you a second comment with more ideas, if you don't like my first.

I also agree with the smudging idea Ruth brought up. It is supposed to clear energy, and usually it is sage that is burnt. Native Americans also do it.

If you're worried about smoke in your house, I also agree with Love, Life, and High Heels about telling Lillian to leave Olivia alone. You have to be serious and determined when you do it, though, no wishy-washiness or indecisiveness whatsoever.

Sorry, I just figured it would be less of an essay if I separated the two posts rather than putting them all at once.

Gini said...

Call the ghost hunter people. They'll know what to do!

This is so exciting! Says she who doesn't have to live there. I DID just move into a new house though, which could be haunted even though it's 30 years younger than my previous one! I'll let you know!

Unknown said...

I was going to suggest the sage thing too. Wow...that is terrifying. I'm sorry. If she isn't mean though I wouldn't be scared...just freaked out. Can you talk to ghosts? This sounds nuts, but call her by name and ask her to leave Olivia alone because she's scaring her and can't understand what is going on?
I demand an update.