Monday, September 16, 2013

10 years is a biggie.

I was recently talking to my friend who recently celebrated her ten year wedding anniversary with her husband and we both realized that of our friends, we're the oddballs. Matt and I will have been married ten years this coming June and I've long felt that if we made it that far- we should celebrate. The fact is, ten years is a long time. Then when you take into consideration the divorce rate and how willy nilly people are to get married, it feels like an even bigger obstacle.

Matt and I got married knowing it was going to be difficult, we may not always agree or even like each other, but so long we could keep the foundation steady, we would be OK. And no doubt, we have had some serious challenges along the way. I was only 22 and he was 23 when we got married so we were practically babies. I think back to what we were like at those ages and how inexperience at life we were and I often wonder why anyone would agree to let us get married in the first place. How could we possibly understand the commitment and the real work it takes to keep a marriage going. But the fact is so many people don't know until they hit a rough spot and they realize they didn't have what it takes as a couple to weather it.

And by all means, getting through infidelity, betrayal, lying, financial issues, parenting, etc is really tough. It's not easy, it's really a difficult path to go and not everyone makes it. Most don't.

Matt and I did.

So as I look to our ten year anniversary I want to do something that celebrates that, and gives us a good send off for the next ten and beyond.

I thought about a vow renewal, but quite frankly, it's like a wedding re-do and we don't have the money to do that. I thought about having a dinner with some of our closest friends and family, but we also can't pay for everyone and then you run into the etiquette issue of having a dinner and asking people to pay their way and I don't know how I feel about that or what the proper way of handling that is. Then I thought about having something just at our house and while I love my house and love to entertain, I don't know if that's quite right either. Any ideas?

The other thing we've decided is that him and I are going to go on a vacation, just the two of us. We did it for our trip to Las Vegas a few years ago and we really had such a great time. It was really nice to remember when it was just us and our mini-trips and how much fun we had. So I think we'll do something similar but this time maybe head towards Arizona and do some beginner hiking and see some random things.

And I realize ten years isn't a big deal to most people, but it really is for us. There was a time where I didn't think we'd make it to ten, much less five, yet here we are. When I think of how hard I have worked at this relationship, and how hard Matt has, I'm proud of us. We aren't perfect, we still struggle, but we're trying together and that's all that you can really ask for.


SpiritPhoenix said...

You know what they say: "A perfect marriage is two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other."

I know what you mean about it being hard work. At first I thought it would be a bit trying. But whew, after 6 years together, it really is hard work!!!!

Congratulations to you both for making your relationship a priority!!!!

Brenda said...

You should be proud! Being with the same person for 10 years is big. And weathering the storms together is huge.

My husband and I have been married for 20 years--together for 22. We had our first child when I just turned 22 and my husband was 21. Man, the odds were against us for sure.
Has it been perfect? LOL, riiiiight. Not by a long effing shot. Money probs, etc, etc, have really tested us, but so far we made it together. Are there days I hate the sight of his face? The sound of his voice? The annoying way he chews his food? Bloody rights there are. And I know there are days I annoy the living crap out of him. And have to admit, there are days I do it on purpose. But we love each other. We can't imagine being with anyone else. We have history and hopefully a future. We've raised--still are--two awesome boys.

Yeah, be proud, dude. 10 years is a lot.

*raises a coffee mug* Here's to 10 more years(+ more) together!

Jandy xx said...

yay for you guys! i'm glad that coming up to 10 years gives you a chance to look back and realise that despite everything, and because of everything you are meant to be.... heres to many more 10 year anniversaries!

also, i think the trip together would be a great way to celebrate :) xx

Steff said...

That's awesome! My two year anniversary is today, and ten years seems sooooo long away haha You should definitely take a trip for just you two! I wouldn't want to pay for anyone else to enjoy my anniversary. ;)

Martha Hokenson said...

Congrats to you, and here's to ten more years! Marriage takes work, but it's so worth it.

Jen Mc said...

Marriage IS work! I know you two have had a rough road but you're still standing together. You should be proud!
Take a little weekend away for your 10th. It's a milestone (aren't they all?!) but I think 10 is the first big one.

FinnyKnits said...

YES IT IS HARD WORK. 10 years is no slouch, which I say as Bubba and I come up on our own 10 year anniversary next year.

I don't know what we'll do to celebrate, but I hope it will include a trip of some kind and a LOT of drinks.

Congrats, doll :)

Kattrina said...

I think ten years is awesome! Congrats!!! And kudos for working so hard - marriage is tough stuff.

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

We're at the 20 year mark come November and have been discussing this anniversary since our 10th, when I was much to pregnant to fly to Vegas or have any fun while there. So we said "ok we'll do it at 20." and now we have to follow through on it but it's so complicated what with childcare & where to do our vowel renewal (elvis? the drive through? camelot? personally I'd like something geeky like Star Wars or Firefly themed but they cost too much even for just the two of us without entourage). We made it 20 years and I want to have some fun dammit!
You should to, pick whatever is the best combo of price & lack of work for you. Having something at home catered might be a good option.

Ruth said...

Why not celebrate? I did have friends that had a big party at their house for their 10th. And than went to a dueling piano bar. For my 10th, we took a trip to South Dakota. Went to Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse, and to a pow-wow. We wanted to do a few more things, but didn't have the funs. This year was our 16th and didn't do anything. But, we are thinking something for 20. We didn't do a wedding when we got married so who knows.