Monday, March 10, 2014

Eye cream and bras with extra lift? Welcome to 32.

Well. Today I am officially 32. I actually celebrated with an epic weekend out of town which I'll dutifully report on at some point this week, probably tomorrow. It was easily the best time I've had in a LONG time with one of my favorite blog friends ever. Today I worked and when I came home we went out to dinner and then had cake at home. I got a few presents, all of them awesome, and overall? It's a great birthday.

I just hate to be such a downer. I have always been that person that totally loved their birthday and believed in fully celebrating another year of life and thoughtfully looked forward to the next year and what it might bring. I am typically not that girl that obsesses over aging and I don't consider myself to be vain at all. I like to look pretty, but it doesn't take precedent over my day and I am totally that girl that will go makeup free into the world because sometimes I just don't care enough to make the effort.

But today?

Today felt different. Maybe it's because I've been sick for the majority of this year so far, maybe it's because I feel like I'm falling apart even though I'm not, I don't know. I just feel meh about my birthday. And that alone? Is kind of upsetting. I don't want to be meh about my birthday. I want to party hard. I want to have a tiara, cupcakes, balloons, the whole works. I feel like such a downer on my own birthday today.

I know in the large scheme of things, 32 is nothing. This is an age I'll look back on in 10 years and remember how good I had it. I won't lie though, knowing I now need eye cream for droopy eyelids and bras with a lot of extra lift because things are going a little more south than they should be at this age? Is really hard. And I hate to even say that because ugh, I'm not that girl. I have never been that girl to care really about what I look like and I don't know why all of a sudden I'm staring at myself in the mirror and noticing things changing. Again, years from now I'm going to watch to bitch slap my 32 year old self for being a whiny brat, I know this.

Even Matt commented about how I'm not really fired up about my birthday. Usually I demand there at least be a balloon involved. I wouldn't say no to crepe paper streamers and party blower things. My birthday also kind of creeped up on me this year and being sick I didn't really feel like planning anything out with local friends. I feel like maybe I'll plan a night out and whoever can come should and worst case scenario, at least my super close friends will come and I'll have a little night out. We'll see.

I also recognize that this might actually be a cross of daylight savings time, being exhausted, having a lot on my plate and the fact winter is dragging its ass and I feel like it won't ever end. I just want sunshine, grass, and capri pants. I don't feel like that is asking too much, right?? *sigh*


Julie H said...

It gets better so enjoy it haha. EVERY Day I'm like mother f#er why are my eye lids like that?

SpiritPhoenix said...

Happy Belated Birthday chica! And no, that isn't too much to ask.

Having Birthday Downer days do suck, but it happens to the best of us. I usually don't expect much, since any birthday plans I came up with didn't really happen. C'est la vie.

Oh well, at least you were able to celebrate with a few friends and family. You could always wait until it's gorgeous out to have a belated party.

thotlady said...

I think it is awesome that you really like to celebrate your birthday. Some years are always going to be better than others. Like you said, it really depends on what is happening around you that influences your big day.

It is difficult growing older, at least for me it is. I am 57 and each year, Yikes! I don't believe my mental age will ever catch my physical age...and that is okay with me.

Happy Belated Birthday!

Unknown said...

Girl, I'm 23. I got a Benefit brightening eye cream in my Birchbox last month and I scoffed at it, because who needs eye cream at 23? I'm sure it's just a psychological thing, but I honestly can see when I don't use it. And I hate it. Because once this sample is used up to hell if I'm paying $50+ for the full size. Because I know I'll feel like I NEED it. Damn you, beauty industry.

Ever since I moved away from home, birthdays just kind of suck for me. It's not even the whole getting older thing, which I really don't care about. It's the fact that I have no one to celebrate with. No one to even take me out to dinner. That's what sucks and makes birthdays miserable.

Also, I had this discussion with my sister last night - if I was given a gift certificate to get any plastic surgery I wanted... I'd totally get half the fat sucked out of my boobs and injected into my ass, because a) that's a real procedure, b) it has less risk since it's your own fat you're redepositing and c) I just need things to get proportional here. I have no ass at all. It sucks. From behind I look like a plank of wood and from the front I look like a 4 month pregnant porn star. I hate it.

Anyways. Happy Birthday! :)

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

Happy Birthday! My enthusiasm for mine comes and goes. On the one hand I had to buy orthotic inserts to wear with my Chuck Taylors' or my feet cramp up. And oh hello reading glasses!
But on the other hand, I'm still alive. A friend, who was 2 months older than me suddenly dropped dead of a brain aneurism 5 months ago, right before Thanksgiving. Freaked me the hell out.