Thursday, January 1, 2015

Just like we're 22.

No, I won't bust out a super annoying Taylor Swift song.

You're welcome.

Instead, let's talk about what 22 weeks pregnant is like for the third time. Because what I'm learning is that no pregnancy is the same, like one can be absolute night and day. Or, in my case, two can be super easy and awesome and one can be hard and frustrating. I'll let you guess which is which.

Here's the thing folks, I'm fucking huge. I feel huge. I feel like a beached whale. Don't give me the, "but you're GLOWING!" or the "you're growing a human, so it's OK!" or any of the like because I'm tuning it all out. With my other two babies I was totally fine with weight gain and getting bigger and kind of reveled in my tummy growing. This time? No, not so much.

Here's a fun fact: yesterday? Yesterday I got stuck in a booth at the roller rink. To the point where Matt had to lift the table to get me out. Like, I was stuck. I could wiggle from side to side a little, but I was going nowhere without assistance. It was kind of mortifying. Not to mention about two weeks ago I had a complete stranger tell me I was a fat ass. Because the kicker of it, is that I don't really look pregnant. I legitimately just look fat. If I had a round belly, like with Jackson, it wouldn't be an issue. But I don't think I need a second ultrasound to confirm I'm indeed having a girl because I am carrying just like I did with Olivia and while I only gained 15 pounds in all with her, I went into labor tipping the scales at 200 pounds. Folks? That scares me. Fortunately, as of my last appointment I only was up 2 pounds in 18 weeks so that's really good.

Other than being large, here are some other noteworthy things about 22 weeks:

  • I've decided this is the exact moment in which rolling over in bed should be classified an Olympic sport. Matt is enjoying watching me try to gain momentum by swinging my leg. There is nothing dignified in being pregnant. 
  • I really am loving pizza and nachos. Except those days need to be gone because hello- cheese constipates you and I need to slow my weight gain roll. 
  • Constipation is a very real thing. I can tell you with 100% honesty I have NEVER IN MY LIFE been constipated until week 22 of this pregnancy. Which only baffles me more when Olivia chooses to be constipated. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with her? This is awful. 
  • Penelope is very active, a sure sign I have a girl versus a boy. Jackson was always super lazy and did nothing and he's kind of still the same. Olivia was always non stop and I questioned if she ever slept. Turns out, she doesn't. Thankfully, Penelope has definite rest times and definite wide awake, let's kick the shit out of mom's bladder times. 
  • Unfortunately, peak activity is from 9 p.m. until midnight. This is going to be an issue. 
  • I also have never had Braxton Hicks contractions, like ever, and I'm not even sure that's what I'm having, but there are times where my stomach feels significantly harder. Like, I'm all Flabby McGee and then bam- stomach of steel. So, that's weird. It's not uncomfortable at all so I'm not totally sure why women whine about this? 
  • Yesterday I had legit contractions though and I really considered going in. I decided to tough it out because my gut told me I needed rest, water, and more poop to come out. Which I think all three helped, but I am kind of worried this might be an issue as the weeks go on. I've got a niggling feeling that I may not make it all the way to my due date with current activity level, unlike my other two pregnancies. 
So that's where I'm at. I don't go back to the doctor until January 15 and it's another ultrasound, most likely my last. We didn't get to see much of her face or her heart for more than a second, so we need to go back. I'm sure it'll all be fine so I'm not worried. I do hope we maybe get a few more pictures for her scrapbook though, I basically only have one of her girl parts (fuzzy), a leg and an image where it looks like her foot is in her mouth. So we'll see. 

It is very strange to feel like I've already gone beyond the half way point, though. I only have like 18 weeks until my due date. Which sounds far more terrifying than May 6. So we'll see. I feel grossly unprepared and I'm trying really hard to not be that crazy mom buying everything right now before my shower. It's hard, though. Thankfully I have friends who will yell at me if they catch me doing it. HA! 


Jen Mc said...

HUGS! I hope your pregnancy flies by and gets a little easier...

jn said...

You are a hoot !! I haven't been checking your updates lately and this was tooo fun to read. You really need to write a book or go on stage. So many women could relate to you. You are so real.....