Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Maybe not a beach body but better than current?

If you are a long time reader of the blog you know that I have struggled on and off with my weight all my life. You might even remember me doing my walk/run thing on the fuckmill (treadmill) and successfully completing a bunch of 5k's. I was never fast, or skinny, but I was actually enjoying what I was doing and looking forward to races. 

Which sounds down right CRAZY TOWN to me now. 

I do know that I have some stumbling blocks to overcome. Things like my actual health, how I'm not supposed to exert myself too much and I will dehydrate alarmingly fast. I have an auto immune disorder so if I do anything too strenuous I will pay for it for several days, I'll have limited mobility and high pain. I also have diastasis recti, which just means my abdominal muscles never moved back into place after my last baby. Well, I don't think they ever went back after any of the babies, but I'm just now learning about it. I always look to be pregnant and I've had people ask me how far along I am. 

It's embarrassing. 

Right now, I vary between 3-6 months pregnant looking depending on how I feel, how much I hydrated the day before, etc. 

I decided that I would join Beachbody, try out a few programs to see if I can at least get some kind of jump start on feeling better. I have very low goals, 5 pounds lost this year, but that's going to be an uphill battle. I might lose 10 right away but my weight fluctuates wildly from day to day but the weight on file is 203.8. My heaviest ever was 212, so I'm right back where I started my first weight loss challenge. 
 So here is my obligatory "before" shot so you can kind of see where I'm at. 

I'm starting with the YouV2 program because it's low impact and really the most ideal for people who are grossly out of shape. Each session is like 30 minutes long and on day one I made it 17 minutes before almost passing out. 
 Lucy was proud anyways and kept giving me encouraging pats to my butt and then gave me total slobber kisses as I lay on the floor wondering if a tummy tuck would just be easier. 

I've legitimately thought about surgery but seeing people's drains and scars... I get the willies thinking about it. I just truly don't think I can do it. 
Here is the photo of me the day after that top one is taken, just so you can get an idea of how much I fluctuate. My pants, I never know what size I need that day so I have three sizes in rotation right now. Thank god I never got rid of any of them! 

So here we are, I'm trying. I'm expecting all of you to properly shame me if I fall off the wagon and/or drag my ass back onto it. 

(I got my shirt from Meowingtons, but you can also get them on Amazon)


Shooting Stars Mag said...

I love that shirt so much, and I get that sometimes it's way more about you feel and having energy, etc. but I DO think you look awesome! To be honest, I'm about the same weight as you and that's down from last year when I first started my weight loss program (it's through a local hospital). I'm definitely feeling better, but I know I have a ways to go still. It's a process, but we can do it! I think weight fluctuates a lot for women in general too.


Life Love & High Heels said...

Weight loss is a bitch. I’m fighting sugar cravings right now and struggggggling. I swear I know how it feels like to be a smoker giving up cigarettes. Stupid urges. Lol I’m back to joining Beachbody as well, but will be starting Monday.

Beth (Coffee Until Cocktails) said...

My girlfriend had diastasis recti too and had surgery for it, but it didn't sound fun, so I don't blame you not wanting to go that route. You got this! And also, that shirt? Amazing. Love it.

Julie H said...

I wonder if i have that with my stomach. Even at my lowest around 150 I got asked more then than ever if I was pregnant. If I get my weight down again I am seriously thinking about getting a tummy tuck. I could care less about how my boobs look but my stomach has always been a problem.