Wednesday, January 9, 2019

And suddenly it all came to me.

I've really been struggling lately and I think I've gotten to a point where my angry is at full steam. As it turns out getting to that point has been beneficial because I've been writing like mad. So much so that I am ALMOST DONE WITH MY BOOK. I am not even kidding, I am legitimately almost done with it and I cannot believe it. My goal is to finish it by my birthday (March 10). It won't be edited and proofread yet of course, but the core of the book will be finished. In order for me to get to that point I still have a few things I need to do:
1. Regression Therapy: I've read a lot about regression therapy and I've seen a lot of trauma survivors use this as part of their recovery. I have also seen that it's a mixed bag of results. Some people find tremendous value in it and it gives them the clarity they were seeking. But on the end of the spectrum there are the people who either don't find any benefit from it, or worse, it's reliving the trauma and detrimental and damaging to them. For every good story you find two more bad ones. Basically, I'm really taking a gamble by doing this but I really want to try it. I'm already passively suicidal and in the depths of depression, how much worse can it get at this point? If you aren't familiar, regression therapy is a form of psychotherapy that, through hypnosis/deep relaxation, they bring you to an earlier time or even a past life to help you resolve issues from then that could be beneficial to you now. My therapist didn't tell me I was nuts but I got the feeling she isn't totally sold on it, so we'll see.

2. Email interviews with two doctors: I have some questions that Matt can't answer and as soon as I found the paper I wrote them on I'm going to email my doctors and get their take on it. I've talked to some nurses already to get some memories or comments from them, because in my research of nonfiction books that get published, they want input from people other than the person writing it. And that makes sense because of my favorite nonfiction that's been true.

3. Make sure the book has the correct timeline of events: I went through my entire medical record for 2016 AND 2017 and made a time line of notes, appointments, milestones, etc. It was actually pretty daunting and reading some of the doctor notes broke me down a bit. Some of the notes from the doctor the day of my AFE are heartbreaking. I know what a tremendous event it was but every time I read it all I cry and I have a hard time processing it. It still feels like I'm reading about a stranger that it couldn't have happened to me. It makes the feeling that I'm in the wrong body feel stronger and I feel more crazy.
4. Query letters. You guys. I've been reading about query letters, how to write them, and what to do with them. I know that I'm going to get a LOT or rejections and not hear from even more, but I feel like I'm going to throw up on my desk thinking about actually sending them out. I  just don't want to mess up. I really want to be published. I don't let myself think about the what ifs because I know anything about that end of the book world and I know it's not a fast process at all, and I just really want this to be a thing that happens in my life. GAH! So yes. I'm thinking about all of this. Obsessively.

So yes. I'm writing. Do you have suggestions on something you really want to see in my book? Like if you came to read one thing, what would it be? 


Shooting Stars Mag said...

Whooo- go you! My WIP in progress is fiction, but my goal is to finish that this year. You're already leagues ahead of me though. LOL I like that you're going to interview a couple of your doctors. Getting other people's memories and thoughts is definitely a good idea for nonfiction. And query letters are daunting - I queried a manuscript years ago - but I just KNOW someone is going to want your story. I'm happy to help with anything!!


Jen said...

Hi, just found your blog thanks to the group on facebook.
I wish you all the best with your book, you've done so well. I hope you feel proud! One of my goals this year is to finish a first draft of a novel I've neglected. So I can appreciate how great it is and how daunting to work on a book. I'd love to know more about it.

mypixieblog said...

Dude, that is amazing that your book is almost done!! You should feel so proud ❤️❤️❤️ Also I’ve heard a bit about regression therapy but certainly not enough to weigh in: I’m sure that you and your doctor will decide what’s best for you and what will help you heal the most. I hope this helps you!

Sending all my ❤️, sweet friend.

Beth (Coffee Until Cocktails) said...

Way to go on almost finishing your book, I am so impressed. I know it will be hard to put yourself out there with the letters, but I think your story is one that needs to be told. I will be sending all the good vibes your way for all of what comes next in this process between the therapy and everything else. <3 <3 <3

Midnight Cowgirl said...

Yeah for being almost done with your book!

Anonymous said...

That's so awesome that your book is almost done. Way to go! I'm really interested in learning more about regression therapy. I am definitely going to do some research and see if it could help me with some things I've been working through.

San said...

Wow, do you realize what an accomplishment is to finish a book. You should be a so proud of yourself. (Also, we share a birthday, yay!)