Monday, January 18, 2021

Medical update, weight loss, and cat butts.

I haven't done a medical update in kind of awhile, not because I have nothing to report, but because I'm trying to figure out what's next. Let's go by department, shall we? 

Psychiatry: I see my new guy in March. I am grateful I even have a new guy considering the ridiculous lack of mental health resources anywhere, let alone quality ones. I'm a little bit nervous for this because my last psychiatrist was amazing and if I could still see him (even though he's in a state far away and a totally different health system), I would because he was the one I trusted with all of my medications. Part of my psychiatry visits is to monitor all of my medication use because I am considered "high risk medication use", so I have to be monitored. Yay. He would always tell me what would happen with a med, how I would feel, when to call, and he believed me when I would report weird side effects. Having a doctor believe what you're saying is huge and I am already missing that a lot. So send all of your Care Bear vibes my way that this is a good fit for me because my other option is less good, we'll put it that way.  

Neurology: This guy. If there has ever been a department that blatantly says, "I don't care" and can walk out and nothing is done about it, it's neurology. My really great neurologist has left, and I hear rumor that she's setting up shop somewhere else so I have to do some sleuthing on that because this guy is THE. WORST. I went for migraines, and he was mildly helpful with that but I ask about the nausea, and flat out say that Zofran doesn't work, he prescribes me Zofran. It's like, are you deaf or dumb? Which one? I ask about my memory issues, and he says, "that's too bad", and GOT UP AND LEFT THE ROOM. That's it. That was the end of my appointment. In the notes he says I'm depressed and that's my problem. And you know, I 100% acknowledge that I am depressed, absolutely no question. 


I am actively seeking treatment and I am 100% compliant with my treatment, so he can jack off. And I say that as nicely as possible. I've had two doctors mention this note and to them I say, perhaps I wouldn't be so depressed if any one of my health issues could be fixed, or maybe if I could remember my address and how to get home, or I could remember where my kids are during the school day or when to get them? It's pretty bad that I rely on my 15 and 12 year old to tell me where I need to be. 

But you know, that's too bad. 

Rheumatology: Honestly, I don't know why I even go anymore. Well, that's not true, I go because I have to in order to get medication refills each month, and they monitor my lab work. My lab work looks great, by the way. My inflammation is down with a slightly higher dose of Methotrexate, but if this starts to not work I will need to go to an injectable version and that does not please me. I'm afraid of needles so the idea of me doing it myself is ridiculous. I could have Matt do it but he isn't always gentle, and I know this because he helps me after any medical procedure and yeah, the level of gentleness is not something we agree on. So I'm not excited for that. I think honestly though, I'm going to just not say if I hurt any more and wait on that until I get really bad, if I ever do. I asked about my fatigue, the extreme fatigue, and she had no idea. She suggests maybe I do mindful and deep cleansing techniques. 

Weight loss: Admittedly, I've dropped the ball here. I haven't been exercising and I haven't see that doctor in almost a year. I know, it's bad. At this point I'm almost afraid to make an appointment knowing full well I'm going to get yelled at. The bright side? I'm still losing weight, but I'm certain that's because I'm sick to my stomach and nauseous all of the time but hey- no big deal, right? Sigh. 

I am currently 169 pounds depending on the day and when I started this, I think I was 212, so if those numbers are right, I've lost a little over 40 pounds. The goal was for me to get to 160, check all of my lab work, and see if I moved myself out of the pre-diabetic group, and then talk about long term maintenance. I am so close, and I need to just make the damn appointment already. That orange shirt, though? I bought that in 2015 when we were in South Dakota and it was a little snug. It is currently a little loose and I don't hate it. 

Gastroenterology: I still tear up when I think about my last two GI appointments, mostly out of anger. If you've been following along, you'll know I've had a ridiculous amount of lab work, endoscopies, colonoscopies, scrambled egg test thing, the CT scan thing, ultrasounds, MRI's, and x-rays. I feel like I have done it all aside from a barium test and I had already decided I would refuse that. HARD pass. Anyways. 

All of it says I'm normal. All of it. All of my lab work is within normal ranges and I keep saying to my doctors that what is normal for you, or the general population is not my normal. My body doesn't process anything normally, I don't absorb things normally, nothing, and that's some my old psychiatrist was firm about, he totally believed me and was absolutely fascinated by it. Anyways. 

The GI doctor in a very nice, but matter of fact way, said he has no idea and he can't help me. He said he's ruled out pretty much everything. 

Apparently, being constipated and then having the worst diarrhea of your life, both of which make leaving the house an absolute nightmare, is normal. Abdominal pain almost every day, sometimes so bad that you have to lay down and do breathing techniques like you would if you were in labor, is normal. Being so nauseous out of no where, throwing up for no reason, having no appetite and being unable to it, is all normal

Primary Care: I had my physical, I went over literally ever issue and of course, she has no idea either. We did learn that when Endocrinology took me off all of my vitamin D supplements, I was right, and my numbers are in the single digits. *sigh* So now I'm taking my own supplements and he can go ahead and yell at me when I see him in March, too. But I had my mammogram, the boobs are good, I was referred to pelvic floor therapy, which I see this week, and then I was referred to the University of Minnesota for GI. 

Oh, but don't get excited. I cannot go there physically, it is virtual only, but because I live in Wisconsin and they are not licensed outside of Minnesota, that's too bad

I also got referred to the other hospital in town here for Neurology, and they have changed my appointment 6 times in the last week, so who knows when I'll actually see them. 

Endocrinology: It all comes down to the doctor who always insists I pee in jugs for no actual reason. There is nothing wrong with my urine output but that and my vitamin D levels are basically all he cares about. Every doctor has told me to take my list of complaints to him because they are all likely from my adrenal insufficiency and hypopituitarism not being managed correctly. I have zero faith in this doctor and honestly, I don't know what to do about it. I'm just over it. 
But you know what I do have? Kitten butts. This is George, he likes to climb around my head anytime I'm on the computer. 
He's pretty great. George and his brother, Banana, are pretty great. I don't know if you know this, but having a kitten cuddle up on you and purr very loudly is great when you aren't feeling so hot. It's been a mood lifter for sure. 


Why Girls Are Weird said...

Ugh girl, I feel ya on the weight loss. I've stalled as well. I miss going to the gym. I can't believe I'm saying that but I do. I just don't feel the same amount of focus working out at home.

And kittens in general are pretty great. We had one in yesterday at work, Obie, and he just had to let EVERYONE know EVERYTHING he's thinking. It was hysterical, but super cute as well.

Shooting Stars Mag said...

Whew, you just cannot catch a break. Has Gastro looked at Celiac or IBS? I recently got tested for Celiac (negative) so they assume it is IBS. I was diagnosed in middle school so I wasn't sure if that was correct or not. I'm doing my final week of no lactose and then I have to do two weeks of no gluten and see if that helps at all. I'm also going to see a Rheumatologist next month - fingers crossed they're better than what you've had to deal with. That's so messed up that all these doctors are just all "nope, you're normal, goodbye" or "I can't help you, goodbye." Good grief! Keep figuring it out!!!! I hope you have a really great new psychiatrist that believes you - because YES doctors that actually believe what you are telling them is so important.

Sigh. I hate that this is a never ending battle for you.

Yay for two cute kittens though. They really do make things much more joyful, don't they??


jn said...

OMG girl ! How does anyone keep all that straight? Yet you write it with just the right amount of humor. I admire that. I too will be going to a new psychiatrist the beginning of February. I think we had the same one that left....I hate change. I also have a new therapist cuz my other one is not covered under Medicare. She actually is pretty darn good. I am stalling on my physical cuz I haven't been good and I don't want to know what my A1C is. Dumb, I know. You are looking great. I'm sorry the rest of it isn't going so well. Just keep praying (if you so)'s what helps me.