Saturday, June 26, 2021

Book Review: In Hindsight

I am so behind in life right now and I just realized next weekend is the Fourth of July. I mean, WHAT?! I have always felt like once the Fourth of July comes, summer is basically all down hill from then. I hate that because we haven't done anything, I don't have anything planned, I'm just forever playing catch up and feeling overwhelmed. I don't understand how it even gets this way. 

In Hindsight - Sharon Bonanno & Lisa Scott

Lisa and Sharon are sisters who grew up together in what appeared to be a typical suburban family. After their parents divorced, they lived with their mother in the same house throughout their childhoods and visited their father every other weekend. From the outside, everything looked fine. But by their twenties, their lives diverted radically. While Sharon moved into a career, started a family, and embarked on her adult life, Lisa tumbled in a downward spiral of lying, addiction, depression, and shame.

In this woven memoir, the sisters share the memories of their childhoods and examine the differences between their personalities and perspectives that led them down such different paths. Through it all they shared a bond that kept them connected and allowed them not only to overcome trauma and challenges, but to achieve overwhelming success. It’s their hope that with this book, you too can see that it’s possible to not only overcome your situation, but ultimately thrive and become the person you want to be.

For me, this was an interesting read and it really begs the question, is it nature or is it nurture? In this case, we have sisters from the same background, who go through the same issues, but they each go in wildly different directions. One goes on to be successful and living a rather great life, while the other sister goes on to struggle with addiction and depression and would definitely not say her life was great in any way. Because of this difference in lifestyle, their sisterly relationship takes a hit and it takes them a considerable amount of time to work through that. 

That's the gist of this book. 

One of the best lines in this book that had me screaming, "YES!!" was on page 51: 

"It is devastating not to be offered help. I know this is in great part my own fault. I look capable; I look like I'm in control. I put off an air that tells people, "Stay out of my way and let me take care of things." Independence is freeing and also isolating." 

I have never connected with a line of a book more than that one. I know in my own struggles with disability, I look just fine. I look like I can run circles around everyone, but if you put me to the task? I will fail. I will also go into a depression spiral because feeling like I can't do it is such a blow to my self esteem and self worth, and that is when I am reminded that I'm not the same anymore. 

It's really hard to accept that. But it's also hard for people to accept it because gosh, I just look like I'm dandy. 

I haven't even been addicted to drugs, but I felt like I really could relate to Lisa the most. Her feelings of inadequacy throughout really hit home and I found myself nodding along in agreement. On the other hand, I understood Sharon at the same time because I was that kid and I know I struggle to understand, and relate, to others who need help. I can be too trusting at times and sometimes think I can fix someone. It's really a terrible trait because I inevitably get walked all over and then wonder why this always happens to me. 

I really think no matter the kind of person you are, you can relate to one (or both) of the sisters. I loved this book, I got through it in one sitting. It's only 165 pages and is written in an easy, conversational tone. If you are someone who is battling addiction yourself, or you have someone close to you is addicted, this is a really hopeful, encouraging book for both of you. Sometimes we can't get others to understand our point of view, and this will definitely do that. 

Thank you to Claire McKinney PR, Sharon Bonanno and Lisa Scott for having me on this tour and sending a copy for review to me.  

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1 comment:

Why Girls Are Weird said...

I always find books about nature vs. nurture to be really intriguing. I think I became obsessed after reading We Need to Talk About Kevin. Will add this to my list.