The Nose Piercing Incident

Pretty much everyone knows I have a nose piercing. If you don't, then that means you're blind. Surely you remember my incident detailing where I said it hurt like a bitch and I would never do it again yet I posed my picture looking like I had been crying which I swear I wasn't.

Well that was a year ago. It was healed but I had never changed the piercing stud thingie because Tammy (who has the lowest pain threshold of anyone I know) said changing hers hurt. I was content with my blue little stud. Totally fine with it.

Until....

I got it stuck on my bath towel on Saturday and it pulled totally out of my nose. Now, before you cringe I will say that I didn't even feel it come out until the very end and it didn't hurt. Swearsies. But I am not going to lie, I stood on the bath mat stark naked and freaked the fuck out.

(One thing you should know about me? Is that I don't like needles. I don't like anything that could possibly involve blood. I haven't had a tetanus shot since the 6th grade and well... I'm going to be 30 in March. My cause of death is most likely going to be Lock Jaw or something.)

So I hurried and got dressed. I had a cork screw stud so I figured (wrongly) that I could just pop that bitch back in. After 20 minutes of trying to shove it back in, angling my wrist in weird positions thinking that would help, I decide I'm not giving up. I did what any self respecting 20something does when faced with a problem. I go to the Internet! Specifically YouTube! I watch no less than 28 YouTube videos on how to put a corkscrew nose stud back in. None of them are helpful!

I start looking for more info online and I see that nose piercings can close up within 60 minutes of it not having something in it's hole. Um, fuck. Because at this point? I'm quickly approaching that 60 minutes. So I call Tammy. She of course laughs at me and tells me to keep twisting it in and just shove it through. I try, but I can't because feeling the inside of my nose being poked is making me feel like I might throw up. So I decide to call Matt. At work. And claim it was an emergency. Because, it kind of is. So he comes home. He's super good with tools and small things so I thought he'd breeze through it.

Not so, as it turns out.

So I call Tammy back and she agrees to get dressed (it's almost 10 am) and come over to help me. YAY. Except then I realize that hey- it's almost 10 am and I'm supposed to be at my friend Emily's house to go shopping at 10:30. Oh damn. Thankfully, my super smarts kicked in and I remembered that Tammy and Emily live near each other (kind of) and it would make more sense to drive to Tammy's! So I call Tammy back to tell her my plan and I get into my van and drive off with my corkscrew nose thing in a Ziploc bag. I race like a demon out of hell down the road and the fact I didn't screech going around her corner is a miracle.

After I get there she informs me that my corkscrew is not going back into my nose- it's too big and that my hole is probably closing up, if not already on the inside. Luckily, she had an extra (when you buy them they come in packs of three) and she said that would work. So we trim it, sterilize it, and I try to do it myself. NO GO.

I agree to let Tammy try, but again, NO GO. Finally, her husband Chad offers to do it. Tammy assures me he got hers in so it'll be fine. Right before he does it, they both remind me that you know, we're friends and I'm basically in their dining room on my own accord. Frightening, especially when Chad essentially re-pierces my nose at that very moment with this corkscrew stud. Then because I'm an idiot, I rubbed a Qtip full of rubbing alcohol onto my newly re-pierced nose.

Guess what? That burns. It burns a lot.

Then I left and went shopping. Without makeup. At the mall. I was in a such a state of panic that I left my house to go shopping at a mall with no makeup.

But the follow up is that my nose is still sore. And this morning in the shower, the fucking thing came out AGAIN. Again, folks. This time, I was so pissed that my nose had the fucking audacity to do such a thing that I just shoved it in on my own. And it didn't hurt. Sure, it bled a little but it's fine now. The only downside to this one is that the inside corkscrew isn't much of a corkscrew? It's more of a little hook so I constantly feel like it might fall out? So I think pretty soon I will get another one that's maybe longer? We'll see.
**

In other super fun news- please, please, PLEASE check out my Etsy shop! I have a bunch of stuff on super clearance and I've reduced prices on everything. Some stuff is more than half off! There are a bunch of things that would make cute Christmas gifts so this is a good time to get some good deals. I need to make room for new stuff coming in (I only have a small area to store finished projects) and I need money for new tires. And Halloween costumes. (Speaking of which- this year to get costumes for my kids that aren't flimsy pieces of shit since it's usually like 35 degrees on Halloween and you will freeze your ass off, I might be looking at spending $75 total. ROBBERY.)

I have some Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas cards in there too. The picture frames? $5. STEAL. So go over there and snatch up some goodies.

New Stuff, Piercing

So I got a ton of stuff done this weekend to put into my Etsy shop, so for the next few posts you are going to see me pimping it out. Last night my set went almost immediately, which is awesome, so one of you needs to buy this:

Aren't these cute???? My local scrapbook store is closing (big sad face here) and so I've been going there every few days to grab up what I can on clearance. So I came across this pear stamp which was cute...but then I saw the pear paper. HAD TO GET IT. And I realize...I may never use this stamp again. But that's better than having virgin stamps. Which I totally have and WILL eventually use. So do you love them? Like really love them? Then go and buy them. You know you want to..

Anyways. For the last two weeks, Olivia has been asking to get her ears pierced. I've asked her before and she's always said absolutely not because I'm honest and I told her it would probably hurt. Apparently- she didn't care because there is another girl in preschool who has her ears pierced. And now it's what the cool kids do and she wanted it done. Matt and I talked to her about it, she knew it was going to hurt, etc and I told her fine, she could get it done.

I didn't think she'd actually do it since we have to hold her down for regular shots.

So on Saturday Matt and I took the kids up to the mall and Olivia was beyond excited. So much so that we had to tell her to stop talking about it otherwise we weren't doing it. It was seriously non-stop. We get to Claire's and when I told the sixteen year old girl about needing to get a piercing done she totally looked petrified. Which didn't help. We had to wait 20 minutes for a manager, which was fine.

When it came time, Olivia hopped up into the chair, totally bouncing when she got her ears cleaned, they put the dot on, and I'm filling out paperwork.

She made it clear to the lady she wanted to hold the bear- so there she is, clutching the bear.

We told them we wanted both ears done at the same time, which was just fine. (Thank you to everyone on FB who suggested this- you are wise and awesome) She picked out silver balls and they got everything ready. So you see the two ladies getting ready to pierce her while Matt holds her hand. And then they did it. At first...nothing. As soon as the ladies moved away...

Totally understandable. Tell me that face doesn't break your heart??

But then I kept telling her we were all done and that she needs to look in the mirror...and she was THRILLED. Seriously. Tears instantly stopped and she kept looking from side to side. So while Matt went to pay for them I took her over to the earring carousel and explained to her that if we take good care of them she could get big girl earrings.

She immediately tells me she wants the big balls (the size of quarters) and the huge feathers. Um... fashion diva?? *sigh* She is not wearing those. I couldn't have "dangly" earrings until I was 13 for god sakes.