Where the Wild Cherries Grow

Sometime I get books in the mail by surprise, this was one of them. It's always a mixed bag, sometimes they aren't something I'd normally pick (like this one) but end up being unexpectedly good.

Where The Wild Cherries Grow - Laura Madeleine

I closed my eyes as I tried to pick apart every flavour, because nothing had ever tasted so good before. It was like tasting for the first time. Like discovering colour . . .

It is 1919 and the war is over, but for Emeline Vane the cold Norfolk fens only are haunted by memories of those she has lost. In a moment of grief, she recklessly boards a train and runs from it all.

Her journey leads her far away, to a tiny seaside village in the South of France. Taken in by cafe owner Maman and her twenty-year-old son, Emeline discovers a world completely new to her: of oranges, olives and wild herbs, the raw, rich tastes of the land.

But when a love affair develops, as passionate as the flavours of the village, secrets from home begin blowing in on the sea wides. Fifty years later, a young solictor on his first case finds Emeline's diary, and begins to trace a story of betrayal, love and bittersweet secrets that will send him on a journey to discover the truth...

Alright, this book reminds me of Little Women, kind of. That's what I kept picturing as I read this. We have Emeline, who picks up and leaves her life at just 19, and her family assumes she's died. It's post war, it's chaos, anything could have happened to her. In an effort to find out, they hire solicitors to figure out what happened to her so that they can take care of present day estate issues. The story flip flops between Emeline and the man charged with finding out her fate, Bill. The more that bill digs into history, and Emeline's diary, the more he's convinced she is still alive despite her story. Secrets are uncovered, history isn't what it seems, and despite what he's hired to do, Bill continues on. I can't really give you more without revealing Emeline's fate, but I will tell you if you love the history flip flop, if you love secret love stories and root for the women to change the course of their life, this book is for you. Absolutely.

My only complaints? Some of the story is a bit slow, the descriptions of the lands of France are time consuming and cumbersome. We get it, it's gorgeous, does it warrant repeating often? I don't think so. It's a slow moving mystery and my favorites are the ones that are fast paced and have you gripping the book in suspense. This definitely isn't that, it's a slow burn. Overall I'm giving this one a 3 1/2 stars. It was beautiful, I loved the fate of Emeline and how we discovered it, my only quips are the slowness of the pace and some of the redundant descriptions. I almost chose to not finish it but my curiosity won out.

   

In Every Moment We Are Still Alive

This book was so hard for me to read. I had a lot of break down moments.

In Every Moment We Are Still Alive - Tom Malmquist

When Tom’s heavily pregnant girlfriend Karin is rushed to the hospital, doctors are able to save the baby. But they are helpless to save Karin from what turns out to be acute Leukemia. And in a cruel, fleeting moment Tom gains a daughter but loses his soul-mate. In Every Moment We Are Alive is the story of the year that changes everything, as Tom must reconcile the fury and pain of loss with the overwhelming responsibility of raising his daughter, Livia, alone.

By turns tragic and redemptive, meditative and breathless, achingly poignant and darkly funny, this autobiographical novel has been described as ’hypnotic’, ’impossible to resist’ and ’one of the most powerful books about grief ever written’. 

If you are a long time reader of this blog you can probably imagine why this book hits close to home. Long story short, during the birth of my fourth child, I died on the table during an emergency c-section from an Amniotic Fluid Embolism. Matt and my mother were just down the hall, oblivious that I was fighting for my life and that a team of doctors were doing the impossible during an event so rare most who practice medicine never see it. Nobody knew if I would be walking out of that hospital. When Matt learned what was going on, I can't even imagine what he was thinking and feeling. But this book? This book gives me a pretty good feel for the helplessness he must have felt.

In this book, written in a prose style so the dialogue isn't separated from the text. It's very similar to James Frey's A Million Little Pieces, except there is the occasional punctuation throughout. I really hope that isn't corrected in finished copies (I have an unedited ARC) because it adds to the desperation of the story, it makes it feel like this man was jotting this all down in a journal, almost. It's an autobiographical novel which, for me, takes it to another level. This is the story of a man, who should be nervous about impending fatherhood but is instead thrust into the unknown world of leukemia when he learns that his wife has the illness while pregnant and they learn of it while in full crisis mode. She's forced to deliver her baby via emergency c-section early, and Tom is managing his wife and illness and fatherhood to a very premature baby. Add on the stress of their families and being the only go-to person for questions, it's a LOT to take in and handle. We know that Karin (his wife) dies almost immediately and Tom is left to care for this child on his own, without his support system there but also while trying to grieve through his substantial loss. This should be the happiest times of their lives but instead it's the lowest point of his.

The book is powerful, it's gut wrenching, it's beautifully written. At first I had some issues reading it just because it isn't written in a traditional manner but after awhile I found my legs and was able to continue on and I am so glad I did. It gives me a new perspective of what my husband handled when I was in my situation. I cannot recommend this book enough, it's an amazing highlight on the human plight of suffering but also of persevering. Five stars, no question.

   

Scrappy Saturday: Pages & Cards

Once upon a time, I used to make cards for every thing. Every holiday. For every one. I still feel shame that I sent a photo card for the holidays this year, I don't know if I'll ever get back to making 100+ cards at a time again, but I recently made a few for Valentine's Day. 

I'm not sure who is getting them yet, and maybe I'll make some more.. I don't know yet. 

I also worked on some scrapbook pages. I'm trying to do small batches at a time because my attention span isn't great.  

 As it turns out, I have a lot of dance photos I hadn't gotten to. 

 But it's pretty fun to see how much Olivia has progressed from year to year. 

 She still looks so little, though. 

 It'll be interesting to compare these from last year to the ones they are taking soon for this year. 

It was also fun to see pictures from a few Christmases ago. 

 And I forgot to share with you my projects from a recent string art party I went to. 

 I did that top one with the arrows at the party, LOTS of nailing. 

Then I made a teal survivor ribbon for AFE at home. I still have the stuff to make a pineapple, I just don't know when I'll do it or where I will put it. I wish I had more string to make it stand out more but doing it with string versus something on an actual spool is 1000 times harder! 

Pretty soon I am going to a painting party where I'll make some glasses and then another string art party. I might go to a pallet party too, we'll see! 

And then Jesus gave us charcoal?

Every once in awhile I see ads on Facebook for some bizarre fad and I think it's because I sometimes end up in a wormhole of weird when I'm bored, so the Internet believes I'm into this kind of thing. But lately I've had some serious insomnia and so I often find myself on Amazon. 

The Amazon app is worst than Alexa could ever be. Because I find one thing I like and suddenly I'm clicking through the "You might also like..." and all of a sudden I have a cart full of crap. I'm adding things to my Wish List. I'm debating whether or not I really need this and then I see it. 

Activated Charcoal Toothpaste. 

I remember my Facebook ads. The twenty something babies (Yes, if you are under 30 you are a baby to me. You don't even know what life is, darling.) smiling with their freshly brushed teeth, blindingly white, I remember these ads and I think yes. Yes, I do need activated charcoal toothpaste with additional teeth flossers and bamboo toothbrush. 

 I sure do. 

Then I start researching it and I start to second guess my logic on this because where the hell am I going to warrant white teeth? Like freakishly white? 

Nowhere. 

But it comes and I was scared of it for a solid two days. On day three Matt tells me I need to use it or return it. So I try it. 

 Here's what I know: it has no flavor. It's a weird texture and I think that's what gets people. But a little bit goes a long way, don't go loading up the brush.  

The stuff makes a damn mess. I have to wash my sink with cleaner every single time I use it so my bathroom always smells like bleach, which isn't a bad thing. I'm alright with that. You do need to brush your teeth following it, which makes me wonder if its really the charcoal whitening your teeth or the vigorous brushing you have do to get it off your teeth? I have no idea. 

I've used it once a day for a week now and I notice no difference. Some people say I need to do it twice a day and give it more time but I don't know, I feel like some progress should be happening. 

I think I'll stick to toxic white strips. 

Sisters Like Us

If anyone knows about sisters, it's me. I myself have none, just one brother, but I'm raising three girls and a boy but every single one of those girls are as different as the next. The only thing similar are looks (kind of), their feet, and the fact they all have two middle names. Everything else about them is different and though I'm a long ways away from their teenage years (the younger two, anyways) I know that they are going to give me the run for my money. Literally.

Sisters Like Us (Mischief Bay #4) - Susan Mallery

Divorce left Harper Szymanski with a name no one can spell, a house she can’t afford and a teenage daughter who’s pulling away. With her fledgeling virtual-assistant business, she’s scrambling to maintain her overbearing mother’s ridiculous Susie Homemaker standards and still pay the bills, thanks to clients like Lucas, the annoying playboy cop who claims he hangs around for Harper’s fresh-baked cookies.

Spending half her life in school hasn’t prepared Dr. Stacey Bloom for her most daunting challenge—motherhood. She didn’t inherit the nurturing gene like Harper and is in deep denial that a baby is coming. Worse, her mother will be horrified to learn that Stacey’s husband plans to be a stay-at-home dad…assuming Stacey can first find the courage to tell Mom she’s already six months pregnant.

Separately they may be a mess, but together Harper and Stacey can survive anything—their indomitable mother, overwhelming maternity stores and ex’s weddings. Sisters Like Us is a delightful look at sisters, mothers and daughters in today’s fast-paced world, told with Susan Mallery’s trademark warmth and humor.

The great thing about a Susan Mallery book is that you know going in that it's going to be something you can relate to in real life and it's going to be funny. You'll find yourself smiling and nodding your head because you get it, and she's telling it like it is in the nicest way possible. I didn't realize how much I was going to connect with this book but when I started the first chapters detailing Harper's excessive need to be over the top, do more than expected, juggle every plate, keep in touch with all the family (even the ones who aren't her own), do it all because that's what you do. Early on in the book there was this:

"Harper did her best not to scream. Of course she needed help! She was working sixty hours a week in a desperate attempt to stay afloat financially, taking care of her house, dealing with a sixteen-year-old, decorating for the holiday and getting ready to cook a fancy meal. Help would be nice. Help would be grand. But, in Bunny's world, the woman of the house did not ask for help. No, she did it all herself, seemingly effortlessly. Family came first. The measure of a woman was how well she looked after her family and so on."

I can relate to this. Bunny is Harper's mother, but unlike Harper, it isn't my mother putting this pressure on me. It's all me. How screwed up is that?! I don't have a standard to live up to, no that isn't true. I suppose I do, but my circumstances are wholly different than my mother's. But in my head I have this ideal of what a mom should be, I have things I do simply because I wish at some point they were done for me, and it's completely selfish the reasons I do these things but I cannot help it. So when I try to level those expectations with my limitations now, it's upsetting. I feel like I am sub par, I'm not fulfilling my duty as a wife and mother. I fully understand Harper in this book.

Her sister Stacey, not so much. She's terrified of being a disappointment but more so the reaction from their mother, she's never ready for it. But she's 40 now, with an exemplary career, the problem is that she's pregnant. Six months pregnant, to be exact, and she's just not told her mom for fear of the reaction. Her husband. Kit, plans to be a stay at home dad, leaving his teaching career behind, and that just is NOT done so Stacey isn't sure if she can handle everything bound to come her way.

We have a lot of twists and turns, some you see coming and some you don't. But I just... I just really have a special spot for Harper in my heart. I wonder if this is me in a few years? We're not far off in age but I imagine if Matt up and left me for a much younger woman, I don't know how I would stay afloat, I just haven't planned on that. I don't have that side fun because I won't need it, divorce just is not an option, so I imagine I would feel much like Harper does.

Overall? I'm giving this 4.5 stars. I can only knock it down because it was just a little longer than I like normally, but it makes up for it in humor. It's a funny book and while you could wait to read this on the beach, as the cover invites you to do, it's worth snuggling in a warm spot thinking of beach days and reading it now. If you're a fan of Dorothea Benton Frank, you'll love Susan Mallery!

   

Workout Wednesday: So maybe my lungs AREN'T so hot.

I can't remember when I talked about maybe needing an inhaler because I didn't do so hot with my pulmonary function test. As it turns out there is something to that. I tried to do a walk/run on my treadmill after a particularly stressful afternoon and I could not stop coughing afterwards. Not just that but the cough felt wet, like I had fluid in my lungs. 

I can only assume that's not normal. 

So back to doing minimal working out until I can figure out how to deal with that. I've been trying to do the Beachbody YouV2 program and man... that guy is so annoying. Ugh. 

 On this particular day I finished day one but I could only do it by muting him and playing my own playlist. Infinitely better. 

I continue with my recumbent bike and as you can see I do it among the chaos of toys. Sometimes I read while I'm doing it and that helps make the time pass without me counting down the time miserably. Sometimes I'll text someone or peruse Facebook and Instagram and catch up on what my friends with lives are doing. I really can't wait until spring and I can walk outside. 

We filled out an application for a scholarship for a YMCA membership and I'm kind of scared but I think it would be good for me. It would give  me an excuse to leave the house, and I know enough people who take classes that I could buddy up and not be alone should I pass out or something crazy. 

A Shade of Vampire

Alright, so a week or so ago a friend tagged me in an ad on Facebook about a book that rivals Twilight, and if you've been around this blog long enough you know I had a slight (alright, full blown) Twilight obsession, I was a Twi-hard. I still am. I was Team Edward (because Jacob is a pedophile who licks his own butt) and I had a plethora of Edward Cullen and Robert Pattinson things. Sadly, I had to downsize because everyone was creeped out from my six foot cardboard cut out but don't you worry, no landfill will take my Edward! He's in my closet. Sometimes he keeps me company.

Don't even try to judge me. I'm almost 36, I can do what I want.

So as soon as Tiffany told me about this, I was all in. Book two is on the way because I can't even handle this. I'm going to fly through these!!

A Shade of Vampire - Bella Forrest

On the evening of Sofia Claremont's seventeenth birthday, she is sucked into a nightmare from which she cannot wake.

A quiet evening walk along a beach brings her face to face with a dangerous pale creature that craves much more than her blood.

She is kidnapped to an island where the sun is eternally forbidden to shine.

An island uncharted by any map and ruled by the most powerful vampire coven on the planet. She wakes here as a slave, a captive in chains.

Sofia's life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn when she is the one selected out of hundreds of girls to join the harem of Derek Novak, the dark royal Prince.

Despite his addiction to power and obsessive thirst for her blood, Sofia soon realizes that the safest place on the island is within his quarters, and she must do all within her power to win him over if she is to survive even one more night.

Will she succeed? ...or is she destined to the same fate that all other girls have met at the hands of the Novaks?

I can see right away why people are giving this two, sometimes three stars, it's slow. It doesn't get really great until maybe 3/4 of the way through and it feels like a mad rush to the end and then you're like, REALLY?! You leave me like that?? Well hot damn, let me order book two right now so that I can spend my week doing this instead of you know... cleaning my house, watching my children, adulting type things. I see that books 1-7 are Sofia and Derek's story but that there are an obscene number of books in this series, like 55? More? I have no idea but right now I'm going into it invested in Sofia and Derek.

I'd like to think if I was captured by a coven of vampires I would be like Sofia, cool under pressure. Able to woo the Prince himself and save my damn ass. You know what you do? You comfort the girl next to you before you're all slaughtered and that catches the eye of the Prince, and then you say something ballsy about not being a victim, and that saves you.

Unrealistic? You bet your damn ass. Worth a try? You bet your damn ass.

Assuming it works you become the head of the Prince's harem, his head whore except you aren't having sex, and you kind of start to fall in love (you think) and it feels wrong because he's a vampire and you're not. You realize he is protecting you, he knows you're special but doesn't know why, and everyone is uneasy around you. Except his douchebag of a brother who is just the worst. I can't give more away on that because it ruins a major turning point in the book.

But I know it's slow, you guys. I feel like this book was giving us a lot of base information, setting everything in motion for the rest of the series, so I'm willing to reserve judgement on the series as a whole. Let me get through book two and then I'll see if I feel differently, but right now I'm giving this a solid 3 stars. Not a lot in the way of romance, it's very Beauty and the Beast in a way, but I was trying to absorb information knowing I would need it as we continued the series, and it's almost sweet, the relationship of Sofia and Derek. I'm kind of loving it and I don't hate her as much as I did Bella in Twilight, so there's that.