Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The Secret Life of a Submissive

Before my family freaks out, just know this is not me. I am not a practicing submissive. Anyone who knows me in real life knows how incredibly laughable that is. But here is an incredibly TRUE STORY that you should read.

The Secret Life of a Submissive - Sarah K
The Secret Life of a Submissive

When Max comes into Sarah’s life — charming, handsome and deliciously brooding – she can’t stop herself. Before long she has surrendered to him in every way: becoming his submissive, yielding her body to his every desire, powerless to fight his sensual temptations.
As Sarah pushes her mind and body to its limits, she begins to realize that she’s in too deep. Pleasure and pain have become her world. She’s addicted — to the adrenalin, to the sensation, to Max himself.
Now she’s in serious danger of giving in to the ultimate temptation: falling in love…
Daring, evocative and thrilling, but told with wit and honesty, this is the explosive true story of life as a submissive, and of a secret world in which only a few dare to play.
I should mention that I mostly read this book while at indoor soccer for my kids. I'm fairly certain those parents think I'm some kind of freak. Matt even picked it up, read a few pages and while looking a mixture of confused and scared while asking me if I was into this. Even my seven year old read a page when I wasn't looking and wanted to know what a flogger was. 
The lesson here is to not leave this book unattended. 
Basically this is the true story of Sarah, a writer who was married for quite some time and raised her children. Things in life change and after her divorce she is finally feeling like she can explore the things she basically kept hidden because her husband didn't share the same.... interests as her. So instead of just regular online dating, she starts doing research on the BDSM phenomenon after being commissioned to write an erotica novel. Realizing you write better when you write from experience, and recognizing that she is really interested in BDSM, she embarks on a journey. Who knew there was the equivalent of Match.com for people who want to find a Dom or Sub? I certainly didn't, but it completely makes sense. 
So she meets Max. Max is an experienced Dom, he's handsome, he's charming, he does everything that would sweep a girl off of her feet. But he is a Dom and he makes that clear and he has expectations of Sarah. They sign a contract and she starts. 
I will be honest with you. What you read in Fifty Shades is not anywhere near this. This is so much more... gritty. It feels so much more violent. In my few days of BDSM research most would balk at me saying that this is violent but in my mind, there is no other way to explain it. In Fifty Shades you have Ana as a sub but it's erotic. It's written erotically and millions of housewives ran to the sex stores and bought floggers and ben wa balls. (I may have been one of these housewives. I'm stimulating the economy as well as myself. Don't judge.) So let me just insert in here that I am not a prude. I'm a pretty open minded individual. Also let me say that there were some experiences Sarah recounts in here that made me gasp... and feel absolutely angry and horrified. 
You learn about Max's back story and how he started in BDSM. I learned a LOT about the community, how it works, and what people get out of it. Well, kind of. I feel like no matter what, if you need to apply an antiseptic cream to your back after a sexual experience, that's not healthy. I'm a fan of a little slapping but if it leaves bruises or actual welts?  How can you enjoy that? It's absolutely foreign to me. 
Which is exactly why I loved this book. 
I had to take a few days to reflect after I read this book because immediately after I finished it I was horrified. I could not understand why a human being would not only want to try this but to continue. I left this book feeling a little angry at Max, and a little annoyed with Sarah. There is one scene where she is being caned (I believe that's what it was) and she screams out her safe word half way through her "punishment". And while Max stops, he doesn't really do anything to confirm it's OK. Sarah basically talks herself into continuing. As a soft feminist, I was ANGRY with her that she would talk herself into this and how Max rewards her basically. I still don't know what to think about this. 
But I want you to read it. Like right now. Read it and tell me what you think and how it makes you feel afterwards. 


Life Love & High Heels said...

So I can totally see why Olivia thought it was a mask for a dance. haha! I'm still not sure if I want to read this or not. :-/ I feel I need some happy books right now, not...violent ones!

Anonymous said...

Definitely NOT a book to leave "unattended" ...

Glad you enjoyed this one! Thanks for being on the tour.