Thursday, March 28, 2013

Dead bodies and almost muggings.

Nobody cares about anything other than my snippet that I maybe saw a dead body. And I don't know if you care that I was almost mugged or not, but I'm going to tell you about it anyways.

So on Sunday I was heading down to St. Paul for the Rhianna concert. I've already talked about this. Well it's like a two and a half hour drive from where I live so it can either be really boring and uneventful or it came be full of crazy fucking drivers who can't merge onto a highway or drive with their blinker on for 30 miles and eventually cut you off because they have no idea what they are doing.

But Sunday was different.

I was just driving along, singing along to some Awolnation, when I see this really nice, black Lexus with Illinois license plates and dark tint windows. Immediately I think, "Oh it's nice to see the recession hasn't hurt the drug dealers coming from Chicago" only to snap out of it when I see that the guy drives like an asshole essentially raping the line between our two lanes. Like I normally would do, I move one more over to my left because I am not sure if this guy realizes he's not the only one on the road. As I do that, a pickup truck pulls ahead so he's kind of next to me, but I can still see the Lexus.


The trunk of the Lexus flies the fuck open and I obviously slam on my brakes because I don't know what's going on, and the truck next to me does as well. And guess what I saw?

A guy, just laying in the trunk with a jacket on and he looked like he was in the fetal position.

Now, I didn't drive up next to it to get a better look but out of nowhere, the driver of the Lexus kind of swerves and the trunk slams shut. The next thing I know the Lexus very unsafely whips into the next exit and I'm looking at the truck driver and we both have, "Holy shit, what the fuck was that????" looks on our faces.

"You called the cops, right Sara???"

NO. No I did not. Only because A) I didn't get the license plate number, B) I don't know what exit he even took and C) I can't even tell you what mile marker we were even on. I didn't look at any of these things because I was too focused on the maybe dead body in the trunk. Scary shit, peeps. Even now, I can't remember what city I was even near.

So that's my dead body story.

The next piece of action was when I pulled into the parking ramp for Rhianna. The guy at the pay booth informed me that they've had "some incidents" with stuff in the ramp so I should be careful and watchful. Creepy and weird, but duly noted.

After the concert, I was walking and I am so thankful that I parked as close to the exit, but as near to the elevator as I could. When I walked past a few cars, just as I was getting to mine, a GUY popped up between the cars I was just next to and all of the hair on my body went up. Then as I look in my rear view mirror, there are about five guys kind of scattered around the lot, crouching between cars. The whole thing is very sketch.

So I decide to not piss around with my GPS and I back out of my spot and try to haul ass to the exit. But the guy that was literally next to my car, started kind of running after me. I was totally scared. I was kind of annoyed there wasn't anyone in the pay booths otherwise I would have said something to them about the assholes clearly looking for someone to do something to. But nope, nobody around. I took off and thankfully was able to figure out how to get home without my GPS.

But all in one night, hookers. All in ONE night.

This chick needs some pepper spray and a taser.


Unknown said...

Shit...the worst I saw living in DC for 5 years was some drug deals, and crazy guys chasing me. I used to walk in sketchy areas after dark w/ no issue. Obviously I like defying the odds?
I'm glad you're safe. I would have called the cops and found the mile marker...but mostly b/c I've seen some HORRIFIC car accidents and call the cops all the time.

Shannon @ Bungalow960 said...


How the FUCK did you not tell me immediately when this happened?! This shit is straight of of a movie.

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

That is seriously freaky in the parking lot. Glad you got away safe.

In all honesty, due the messed up people I used to know, I would have assumed the dead body thing was a prank to freak people out. Because I used to hang out with people who would totally do that sort of thing just to get a reaction. Not saying it wasn't real, but my first reaction is always "am I being punked"

Kattrina said...

That dead body story is the craziest story ever! And good thing you got out of that parking lot STAT. What a creepy night!

Gini said...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!! THERE IS POOP IN MY PANTS, SARA. THAT IS HOW SCARED I AM RIGHT NOW. For serious, include that shit in your book, whatever it may be about!