Monday, August 17, 2015

30 versus 20

I had a conversation the other day with one of my favorite people about things that are different now that we are in our 30's versus of when we were in our 20's. We were in overwhelming agreement that our 30's are so much better than our 20's. I knew mine were going to be better and I had zero fear turning 30. Now that I'm 33, I'm enjoying my 30's far more than I ever thought I would but I can already tell a big difference is that these years seem to go by a bit faster than my 20's. Those lasted for-ev-er.

But some of the main differences I've noticed is that being hit on now feels like a compliment, where at 23 I just assumed the guy was a scuzzbag. Admittedly, I was a pretty cynical person in my teen years through my 20's. Every guy in that age group is just an asshole. It's nothing personal, I'm sure it's just a hormonal consequence, but they will hit on anything. Boys in their 20's start out the night discriminatory and by the end of the night, they'll take what's left. And though I can't speak about that considering I'm married, but the guys who hit on me now seem genuine good guys. I know some of you are like, "How good can they be if they see your ring??", but to that I say I don't wear my ring often. Well, at least not in the summer because my fingers swell up and it's uncomfortably tight. So I really only wear it in the winter. Obviously I wear it if we go out because I do like to wear jewelry, but if I'm running around with three kids on errands? I'm not so worried about it.

I feel a lot less stress about myself now than I did then. In my 20's I really was concerned what others thought of me, and I put a lot more effort into seeing what other people were doing. Now I could really care less. I have enough problems as a mother, a wife, a homeowner, and a responsible adult to worry about what others are doing. Someone's copying me? Someone's criticizing me? Who gives a shit. Honestly. If you are in your 30's and you are still worried about any of that, I feel sorry for you.

I also feel like as I get older, my perspective on life has changed. I'm not worried about the end game. I'm not worried about how much I make, the clout that comes from my career or even what I have parked in my garage. I just want to get through life collecting all of the experiences I can. Maybe working with seniors at my first post-college career job was really the key there. They gave me all kinds of perspective on life and aging.

It's scary to realize you are a real adult now. I rushed to my 20's and I rushed through all of the things that made me feel like an adult. I got my own apartment, I bought my own car, I paid all of my own bills, I got married, I had kids, I bought a house, etc. We did all of this stuff like we had to prove to people that we were indeed, adults now, please take us seriously. In a way, it's really rewarding to be able to stand in the middle of our house and think, "WE did this, with no help, all on our own". I will never forget the moment where I was reading to Olivia and Jackson before bed, years ago, and all of a sudden looking around their room and realizing we did all of this. Not only did we make two little humans, but everything in this house is because we worked our asses off to provide it. It's humbling and rewarding. That's the moment where I actually felt like a grownup. I was 27 years old.

I'm completely over the people who make a big deal out of aging. Aging happens whether you want it to or not. Just embrace it. Be thankful for another year under your belt because with age comes wisdom. Or at least it should. I know a few people who got screwed out of the wisdom part.

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