Saturday, February 3, 2018

Scrappy Saturday: started Lucy's baby book!

One of the challenges I've talked about with memory loss has been my inability to remember Lucy's first year let alone her milestones. 

I decided I can only do what I can do so I'm going to rely on other people to help me remember and thankfully, my blog. I know I've mentioned it before about how beneficial this blog has been to me for a lot of reasons, I've made some terrific life long friends and I have a running log of what I was doing and feeling. Honestly, if I didn't have this blog I don't know how I would function. Silly as that may be. 
 Anyways, I started Lucy's baby book and so far, I'm only a few pages in but it's been fairly emotional to look at all of these pictures again. I don't do it often because I get sad because I want so badly to remember how soft she probably was or how she smelled. Did she have fuzz on her head? Was that soft, too? I don't know. 
 It's also strange to see how happy I was. Sure, I was in clear agony for the epidural but I always know that bit of pain is worth what you get. I see my face, smiling, and I wish I remembered how I really felt. Was I really that happy? Was I scared? Did I have a gut feeling about what was to come? I don't know. 
 It's bittersweet to see the kids meeting Lucy for the first time, I didn't get to see it. Or my grandparents? My grandma is currently dying and it breaks my heart that she only got to see Lucy twice. She mailed me her Jello molds for Jigglers, something she was known for- she always had them for the kids when she came, so I hope to tell Penelope and Lucy all about her over Jigglers someday. 
I always save the birth announcement (somehow I think I still got them in mail after all this?!), the hospital bassinet card and name tag, my weekly pregnancy check up book from the doctor, and all of the birth certificate information (not the official one, but the hospital provided one) and various papers we got from the hospital. I matched that up with the photos of the day I woke up. Seemed fitting. 

It's pretty tough doing this book but it might be therapy, too. I don't know. 

1 comment:

Shooting Stars Mag said...

I can see how working on this would be a bit therapeutic, but I'm sure it's tough to see pictures and not remember any of it. I'm glad you have your family and this blog to help "remind" you though and to help create this wonderful memory for Lucy. She'll love it.