Thursday, January 30, 2020

Momlife is all of the things.

I know I've given you a bevy of book reviews and almost no update on real life stuff. It isn't like I'm living a glamorous life over here but you know, stuff is happening, things are shaking and moving.

My office/library/craft room remodel is currently stalled. As it turns out you need money to go to IKEA. Which, who knew, right? Well that kind of puts a damper on the party because BILLS so I am probably going to have to wait another month or two before I can make the trip. Definitely a bummer, but not the end of the world.

In the meantime though, I bought this AND put it together myself!
Matt wasn't nearly as proud as I was expecting but whatever. It feels relatively stable and rolls, so I think I did it right. Then I realized none of the stuff I wanted on her fits so that's awesome. HA! I'll come up with a plan B for it but for now it's under a shelf with my die cut machine and laminator because those don't currently have a home.
I always forget how tough winter is until we're in the thick of it. Thankfully it isn't ridiculously cold like it usually is and I'm OK with that. I haven't complained about the temperature one time this year and if we have to have winter I will gladly take these 20s and 30s every year. It's things like this though that make me think about global warming and climate change and what it is going to be like in 50 years. What if it is really awful? What if I'll be dead and my children have to suffer through this?

That's the kind of thing I've been thinking about all of the nights I can't get to sleep at a reasonable hour.

Speaking of, that's a thing now. Insomnia is super fun. I did see my psychiatrist today though and I mentioned to him that at night time I'm getting tremors, mostly in my hands, arms, and head. It only starts around dinner time and progressively gets worse. Considering I haven't had any medication changes and even though I thought it was the Metformin, it was still happening when I stopped, the running theory is my Propranolol. I take that for migraine management and it has worked really well for three years but last week I had migraines every night, to the point I thought maybe I was having a stroke and should go to the ER. The next step is to try an extended form of Propranolol because according to my GeneSight test, this is one of the drugs my body metabolizes not normally or "as expected" and one of the side effects of it wearing out are tremors. I'm going to try this new form, with a slightly higher dose, and hope for the best.

He mentioned maybe changing my Wellbutrin because he doesn't think it's working the way it should but I told him I'll wait until my appointment in April. The last thing I need when I travel to DC/NYC with Olivia is to be messing around with my mental health medication. Could you even imagine??

Speaking of, Olivia and I are going to Washington D.C. and New York City in March! The eighth graders in her school have the option of going and I knew right away I was going to get her there come hell or high water, and so my parents and I paid her fee. They gifted me the money to go as well and Olivia is super excited. I'm excited because I've never been but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. I am in the process of getting all of my notes and medical information together just in case. Once I get the for real itinerary I'll tell you all the things we get to do. It's a jam packed week, that's for sure!
Speaking of Olivia, I just signed her high school registration form. I cannot even believe how quickly it is all going. It seems like yesterday she was starting kindergarten and I was worried about her not eating her lunch and here I am, signing off on her choices of freshman classes. I swear, as soon as your children are done with elementary school they are practically done. The years fly by and I can't catch my breath. I'm constantly worried I'm not doing enough. I only have FOUR years left to make sure I've given her enough to go out into the world on her own and be confident about it. I have four years of slowly letting go and man.

I'm not ready.

I finally understand it when people told me it is so hard. I don't know if there is anything you can do to feel ready.

So yeah. I've got that. Penelope will be in kindergarten next year and I'm hoping we can open enroll her because next school year is going to bring changes that I'll talk about another time. I'm still working through them. Jackson is working hard in his first year of middle school and I am so proud of how much effort he puts in. He just wants to do a good job and I know it feels like he has big shoes to follow coming up behind Olivia but I'm trying to make him understand he has to make his own footprints.

Growing up is hard. It's also really hard to watch your kids grow up and know there is only so much you can do to help and guide them. Matt and I are trying to find that balance of helping and then letting them fail, with a safety net.

Besides that, our furnace is disintegrating (literally), we need a back door, we need to put some heat registers in the front porch, and we need to win the lottery. So you know, the usual.

1 comment:

Shooting Stars Mag said...

Ah, if only I could win the lottery too. That would be great. That's so crazy that Olivia is almost in high school! Sheesh!! She'll do great though. And I'm so glad you're both able to do the D.C./New York trip. I know you're nervous, but I hope all goes well and you have a wonderful time. Sorry about the medication issues - hopefully those all get worked out soon. So annoying, I know!